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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Allowance
Posted by azoodie
it's not about being an adult or being a child. it's a about respect. if we each get the same amount of money a week and i want to go buy new clothes, i feel he should know i'm going to make this purchase. just like if he wants to buy a new video game he'll tell me he is. it's not so much asking permission, it's about communication.
I agree. It is ALL about communication. We would have NEVER bought a house and I could NEVER work only three days a week and be with DD two days a week if we did not communicate and agree to a budget.
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Posted 9/25/06 7:48 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Allowance
Posted by azoodie
Posted by Redhead
i just can't imagine having to confer with my DH is i bought a skirt for 40 dollars
to me...that just isn't an adult..
i would feel like a little kid telling my mommy that i want to buy make-up
20 bucks is just 20 bucks! for every day sort of things.
i don't know your situation, but you are probably having a hard time understanding what we do because you have not been in our situation. we don't deny ourselves things we want or need we just talk to each other about it. you can call me us little children all you want. but it works for us, we pay our bills, we have our savings and we are happy.
i didn't call YOU anything
i am saying how i would feel if i had to report back or confer with ANYONE about what i am spending..
it reminds me of when i was a kid
everyone should do what works for them
Message edited 9/25/2006 7:50:57 PM.
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| Posted 9/25/06 7:50 PM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Allowance
NO WAY!!! I buy what I want...I do try to buy wisely, but sometimes a girl has to SPLURGE!!!
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| Posted 9/25/06 7:51 PM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: Allowance
Posted by THEINFAMOUSMRS.OTG
We do not put one another on an allowance but there is just an unspoken agreement of what unreasonable spending is between us. We do not discuss every purchase we make because we both know how we should and should not be spending money . . .
i see what you're saying and i can understand your point of view. it's not like we don't know our limits, we just choose to discuss it first. different strokes for different folks
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| Posted 9/25/06 7:52 PM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Allowance
MrsTC- maybe you can clarify.
Do you mean "do you and your DH have the SAME amount of spending money"
or, do you mean "Does your DH control all of the money and give you an allowance"?
I think that makes a big difference to how people are answering.
I guess DH and I have a reverse allowance- we have an agreed upon amount of money that we each contribute to savings and bills. Whatever is left is our own spending moeny.
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| Posted 9/25/06 7:52 PM |
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jodi714
Love my little girl!
Member since 2/06 3621 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: Allowance
Posted by azoodie
I think I'm in the minority. While we combine our money and everything is shared, we only get 20 bucks each per week for whatever. Any other purchases we always discuss with each other first. We're trying to save money and if we don't give ourselves a limit we never would.
We do the same thing mroe or less. We try to minimize our spending except for the daily stuff you need. When it comes to other stuff, we discuss it. We're trying to save too and I would feel guilty spending on myself and not considering DH. I know he is sacrificing as well so together we decide where we want to spend our money on. That is not to say, if I went and bought myself shoes and didn't discuss it first that I would "get in trouble". It just means we consider each other when make decisions that impact each other.
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| Posted 9/25/06 7:56 PM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: Allowance
Posted by sjm71505
Posted by azoodie
I think I'm in the minority. While we combine our money and everything is shared, we only get 20 bucks each per week for whatever. Any other purchases we always discuss with each other first. We're trying to save money and if we don't give ourselves a limit we never would.
We do the same thing mroe or less. We try to minimize our spending except for the daily stuff you need. When it comes to other stuff, we discuss it. We're trying to save too and I would feel guilty spending on myself and not considering DH. I know he is sacrificing as well so together we decide where we want to spend our money on. That is not to say, if I went and bought myself shoes and didn't discuss it first that I would "get in trouble". It just means we consider each other when make decisions that impact each other.
Exactly! Same here. I mean he is the one really sacrificing here. I am going to school full-time. Before we got married I was working and making more than him! But he NEVER holds anything over me or says I can't have what I want and vice versa. Just how we are.
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| Posted 9/25/06 8:00 PM |
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Bri
I Love You to Pieces!
Member since 5/05 9919 total posts
Name:
Brianne
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Re: Allowance
Posted by azoodie
Posted by THEINFAMOUSMRS.OTG
We do not put one another on an allowance but there is just an unspoken agreement of what unreasonable spending is between us. We do not discuss every purchase we make because we both know how we should and should not be spending money . . .
i see what you're saying and i can understand your point of view. it's not like we don't know our limits, we just choose to discuss it first. different strokes for different folks
Agreed. I was not challenging what you and Ray do, just posting about our particular situation. Life on LI is certainly far from easy and it is important as a couple to have a plan and equal views when it comes to spending money.
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| Posted 9/25/06 8:06 PM |
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IGLover
Y'all come back now, ya hear!!
Member since 9/05 2361 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Allowance
If my husband told me I had to ask him if I could buy something, I would tell him where to go stick it.
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| Posted 9/25/06 8:09 PM |
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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: Allowance
Posted by THEINFAMOUSMRS.OTG
Posted by azoodie
Posted by THEINFAMOUSMRS.OTG
We do not put one another on an allowance but there is just an unspoken agreement of what unreasonable spending is between us. We do not discuss every purchase we make because we both know how we should and should not be spending money . . .
i see what you're saying and i can understand your point of view. it's not like we don't know our limits, we just choose to discuss it first. different strokes for different folks
Agreed. I was not challenging what you and Ray do, just posting about our particular situation. Life on LI is certainly far from easy and it is important as a couple to have a plan and equal views when it comes to spending money.
i thought you were redhead 
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| Posted 9/25/06 8:10 PM |
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IGLover
Y'all come back now, ya hear!!
Member since 9/05 2361 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Allowance
I also think that if it works for you, then nobody should say anything against it.
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| Posted 9/25/06 8:12 PM |
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charon54
My two boys!
Member since 5/05 7279 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Allowance
Nope, but I don't think there is anything wrong with setting spending limits. We don't because we aren't big shoppers.
However, I would never put up with someone who would be ****** at me for making a purchase. That's the part I find a little ridiculous.
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| Posted 9/25/06 9:54 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Allowance
I think it's the word "allowance" that bothers me. I wouldn't want someone telling me how much I "get" a week. There is something about that word that brings back childhood and not earning your own money. Setting a budget I would have no problem with.
That said, we have neither an allowance system or a budget. But we did say that as of Jan. 1st we are going to live on one salary and bank the other.
Message edited 9/25/2006 9:56:19 PM.
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| Posted 9/25/06 9:56 PM |
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MegZee
My bunny
Member since 5/06 8777 total posts
Name:
Meaghan
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Re: Allowance
we arent married yet - but with saving for the wedding and house we are on a strict budget - but as long as we save the X amount we need to each month - we do with what we have as we please. if i need to take $20 from him for gas until I get paid or vice versa no big deal. we share-sies!
plus, it also helps I get paid on the 7th and 22nd and he gets paid on the 15th and 30th. so someone always has some $$
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| Posted 9/25/06 9:56 PM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Allowance
Ummmmmm no. We are both careful with $$ and buy what we want, when we want it as long as it's reasonable.
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| Posted 9/25/06 9:58 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Allowance
I don't have an allowance, but I definitely run all purchases by DH first. He does the same. We are big into budgeting. I have never been told no, it just helps to keep the other partner in the loop.
I would love to get on an allowance system though. DH works crazy hard, I would love for him to have guiltfree spending and saving for personal things, maybe a percentage of his check, something like that.
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| Posted 9/25/06 10:06 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Allowance
not really
you know, i manage the money anyway
but we sort of have a no big spending rule- basically anything over $50 we discuss with each other.
basics- like the once a season clothes shopping- well that's a given.
i monitor his CD spending & concert spending and he keeps me in check too
this works well for us.
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| Posted 9/25/06 10:11 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Allowance
Hmm..I've read a lot of these replies and I've come to a conclusion. It's not about an allowance it's about common goals.
For instance:
DH and I have a financial plan. It involves putting money away each month..say $1000. If we end up doing that, we are working towards our goals. If we are able to put away more, that's gravy!
If we fall short of that I look at what we spent and what happened that led to our shortage. We talk about it and correct it the next month. If it was an emergency or an unexpected expenditure we re-work out budget to compensate.
Maybe it involves making dinner more at home or him not going out for drinks with his friends as often or maybe it's me holding off buying something personal.
It's a joint decision but we both have in our minds that we have the goal. We talk about our financial health everytime we get paid. We talk about the bills that are due, how much it costs to fix something or how much a vacation would be and when we can afford to take it keeping our goals in mind.
If one of us decides to buy something or not, we do it with our these goals in mind. We don't ask each other at very step of the way though. It's understood and we pretty much stick to it.
I hope this helps explain it.
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| Posted 9/26/06 9:39 AM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: Allowance
I don't get an allowance from my husband. We both work and we allow ourselves the same amount from each paycheck into our personal accounts to spend however we wish. The rest goes into our joint account for bills, big purchases, and savings.
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| Posted 9/26/06 9:56 AM |
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
Name:
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Re: Allowance
Posted by MABLE03
No he is my husband not my dad.
i hate the term allowance for adults 
so far we are pretty good with keeping spending in check, but with DD now in the picture we will most likely draft up some type of budget so we keep things under control.
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| Posted 9/26/06 9:58 AM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Allowance
For those of you that think this is ridiculous or funny....
Yes it is ridiculous. No it is not funny.
I literally get in trouble for spending. No he is not my father.
We have a joint acct now but I think I may do the whole his / hers / ours thing.
Eta: we run major purchases by each other but what I am talking about is if I am at the Gap and they have a nice sweater that I could wear to work on sale, I get "in trouble" for buying it...I say I am an adult and work too, but I still hear it....that I am spending too much 
Message edited 9/26/2006 10:10:36 AM.
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| Posted 9/26/06 10:08 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Allowance
I give myself an "allowance" if that is what you want to call it. I am not a huge spender, but I want to keep myself within a certain budget. This is why I keep my own checking account. I give myself a certain amount of $$ per month and I pay for all my extras out of that (not groceries or gas or other things I consider household expenses).
I think if one person is irresponsible with $$ and they give up the responsibility for the money to their spouse, to do what is best for the couple's finances, then it's fine. I think if one person is using money as a control tactic, then you have a problem.
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| Posted 9/26/06 10:48 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Allowance
We have had "allowances" since before we got married. We have figured out the bills and saving and then how much we can have each week to do whatever with.
This has always worked for us.
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| Posted 9/26/06 12:47 PM |
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