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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by CSK
I find this thread to be pretty eye opening that people feel this way.
That it seems that it would be a big problem if my wife ran an errand while my son has a play date and I was left home with the kids.... just crazy in my mind.
I have met most of the parents of my son's friends and do most of the birthday parties, so I don't think it would be an issue, but I seriously question how people justify this sort of double standard....
I don’t think it’s necessarily a double standard...I think typically in child friendships, the moms are usually who get to know each other. So I don’t have a problem leaving my child with a father I know— I just don’t like them being left with ANY adult I have never met.
If it’s a dad that I know well, chat with at birthday parties, see at school events, etc then it’s fine.
Also, young kids are usually more comfortable with women. If my daughter was upset or had a stomachache she would have no problem telling her friends mom, but may be a little timid around the father. Especially if she has never met him before.
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Posted 1/24/18 9:55 AM  |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by mrsrainbow
These answers are so absurd! A parent is home - what difference does it make if she goes to CVS? She’s not leaving for hours! The mother is required to stay because SHE arranged the play date? A parent would have an issue if the husband was there instead? Absurd.
this!
I agree.
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| Posted 1/24/18 10:53 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Am I wrong or right
I see nothing wrong AS LONG as your husband was home when you left to run that errand. If he was not, then I would NEVER leave the kids outside alone like that.
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| Posted 1/25/18 7:39 AM |
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Disneygirl17
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/16 496 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong or right
I’ve planned a play date with my dh at home. It’s not a big deal. A quick errand is no big deal to me
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| Posted 1/25/18 8:01 AM |
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by mrsrainbow
These answers are so absurd! A parent is home - what difference does it make if she goes to CVS? She’s not leaving for hours! The mother is required to stay because SHE arranged the play date? A parent would have an issue if the husband was there instead? Absurd.
this!
I agree.
I agree too.
So, I'm not even married to my SO and he has stayed with my kid and his friends during playdates.
Also - what about single dad's? They're not allowed to have playdates?
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| Posted 1/25/18 10:48 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by mrsrainbow
These answers are so absurd! A parent is home - what difference does it make if she goes to CVS? She’s not leaving for hours! The mother is required to stay because SHE arranged the play date? A parent would have an issue if the husband was there instead? Absurd.
this!
I agree.
I agree too.
So, I'm not even married to my SO and he has stayed with my kid and his friends during playdates.
Also - what about single dad's? They're not allowed to have playdates?
I find there is a lot of reverse sexism when it comes to this stuff.
Having my DH as a stay at home dad has opened my eyes to a lot of things.
We are still in the 1950s when it comes to male/female roles for a LOT of stuff.
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| Posted 1/25/18 10:49 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by mrsrainbow
These answers are so absurd! A parent is home - what difference does it make if she goes to CVS? She’s not leaving for hours! The mother is required to stay because SHE arranged the play date? A parent would have an issue if the husband was there instead? Absurd.
this!
I agree.
I agree too.
So, I'm not even married to my SO and he has stayed with my kid and his friends during playdates.
Also - what about single dad's? They're not allowed to have playdates?
If the dad is single then he is coordinating the play date and the other parent will know him. I don’t trust anybody - make/female until I tried to get to know them as best as possible . If people are offended or mad about that then idc, their kid can play with someone else. I’m not worried about people’s feelings, I’m only worried about protecting my child as best as I can.
I also am conscious of older teens babysitting older boys. I have a lot of guy friends- an a bunch them have told me about their first experience being with their babysitter. Gross 
ETA: I also don’t do play dates, never knew about them till I was older cause we never had them as kids. My son has never had a play date, but I think that’s par for the course when you work.
Message edited 1/25/2018 10:54:49 AM.
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| Posted 1/25/18 10:53 AM |
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by mrsrainbow
These answers are so absurd! A parent is home - what difference does it make if she goes to CVS? She’s not leaving for hours! The mother is required to stay because SHE arranged the play date? A parent would have an issue if the husband was there instead? Absurd.
this!
I agree.
I agree too.
So, I'm not even married to my SO and he has stayed with my kid and his friends during playdates.
Also - what about single dad's? They're not allowed to have playdates?
I find there is a lot of reverse sexism when it comes to this stuff.
Having my DH as a stay at home dad has opened my eyes to a lot of things.
We are still in the 1950s when it comes to male/female roles for a LOT of stuff.
You're right. My SO was a single dad for a long time and he is very involved.
It's regular sexism too, my son plays baseball and A LOT Of the time, I am the only mom there consistently b/c its sport and he's a boy
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| Posted 1/25/18 10:53 AM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Am I wrong or right
To the OP_ I can see your husband's point. You set up the play date so you are the "responsible adult" that committed to being there for the play date. I think its fine if you need to leave to run an errand but I agree with your DH that you should give him the heads up and make sure he is available to watch the kids at the time you want to run out.
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| Posted 1/25/18 11:03 AM |
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BabyLove08
Love her!
Member since 2/08 3673 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by ChilisWife
Just out of curiosity, for the people who agree with the OP, would you feel comfortable dropping your 9 year old off at his/her friend's house if you didn't know and never met either parent until the drop off?
No way! Neverrrr would I!
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| Posted 1/25/18 12:25 PM |
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stinger
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 4971 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Straightarrow
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by mrsrainbow
These answers are so absurd! A parent is home - what difference does it make if she goes to CVS? She’s not leaving for hours! The mother is required to stay because SHE arranged the play date? A parent would have an issue if the husband was there instead? Absurd.
this!
I agree.
I agree too.
So, I'm not even married to my SO and he has stayed with my kid and his friends during playdates.
Also - what about single dad's? They're not allowed to have playdates?
I find there is a lot of reverse sexism when it comes to this stuff.
Having my DH as a stay at home dad has opened my eyes to a lot of things.
We are still in the 1950s when it comes to male/female roles for a LOT of stuff.
You're right. My SO was a single dad for a long time and he is very involved.
It's regular sexism too, my son plays baseball and A LOT Of the time, I am the only mom there consistently b/c its sport and he's a boy
I agree about the sexism but as I mentioned in an earlier post even my ex and SO both single dads understand why people may hesitate to leave kids with men only. They do it too.
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| Posted 1/25/18 12:40 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by CSK
I find this thread to be pretty eye opening that people feel this way.
That it seems that it would be a big problem if my wife ran an errand while my son has a play date and I was left home with the kids.... just crazy in my mind.
I have met most of the parents of my son's friends and do most of the birthday parties, so I don't think it would be an issue, but I seriously question how people justify this sort of double standard....
i totally agree.. it's really sad that people (whether they want to admit it or not) think that men by nature are just not as trustworthy. This isn't the first time this has come up here either..
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| Posted 1/25/18 12:44 PM |
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Re: Am I wrong or right
Posted by BabyLove08
Posted by ChilisWife
Just out of curiosity, for the people who agree with the OP, would you feel comfortable dropping your 9 year old off at his/her friend's house if you didn't know and never met either parent until the drop off?
No way! Neverrrr would I!
I would. I would ask my son, because I do trust him
BUT I will put a a disclaimer that my son goes to his father's every other weekend and I have less than 0 control over what he does with him. My son has slept at his father's gf's ex husband's house for a weekend.
So I 'm more lenient
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| Posted 1/25/18 1:51 PM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Am I wrong or right
You are right. Your husband is being obnoxious. These are not little kids you are talking about - these kids are off playing down the street so as long as there is a responsible adult that the kids know are in the house in case someone gets hurt or needs something that is fine.
If they were younger kids I could understand your dh's point of view.
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| Posted 1/25/18 4:38 PM |
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