Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

On Sat my parents and I were out my cousins house for a block party. He lives in a townhouse where there are 3 levels. Anyway I had put the boys down for a nap in one of the bedroom on the top level. Well the next thing I know my father is coming out of the front door holding both the boys. Now I know he meant well but I told him that he shouldnt have carried them both down. The were pretty much dangling there...I told him he should have just taken one down or called for help we were all out front. Now he is not speaking with me. He told my DH and my mom that I think he is weak and that he would never harm them. I know that he had the best intetions but I still feel he he should have done that. What if he would have slipped down the stairs he would have had no way to hold on, what if one tossed his weight which he normally does...

Anyway now he is not speaking with me and I kind of feel bad but these are my children and I feel he used poor judgement and I shouldnt have to apologize....Its not like I stopped speaking with him and I am not mad...so freaking annoying

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

my mother won't take my daughter up or down my stairs unless there is some dire emergency for her to do it. she has had several episodes tripping on my stairscase and is paranoid about falling while holding the baby. she's 73. but otherwise in good health and very very active. i would not have been happy with him carrying the 2 at one time either.

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

None of our parents carry DC up or down the stairs (it's a moot point now, since they are big enough to walk on their own, but when they were tiny, they didn't carry them)

Plus, like I often say here, and remind family when needed, MY DC, MY RULES.... that's all there is to it. You want to play with my DC, you also have to play by my rules.

I think you did the right thing, and have DC's safety in mind. I think your father was embarrassed a bit, a little hurt, etc. He probably doesn't want to admit he's getting old.

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

I don't think you said or did anything wrong. My Dad always takes DS for a walk whenever the weather is nice. He used to move fast but has slowed down recently because he has cirrohis of the liver. I appreciate that he wants to take DS for a walk almost every evening (My parents live next door) but I make him take the umbrella stroller cuz I know that my little guy likes to take off and run. He does it because he knows mommy and daddy are not around and when we are not around he does things he knows he can get away with cuz he's with his Grandparents...

My dad is always like "don't worry don't worry" but I still insist he take the strolloer or it's nothing. So now whenever he takes DS for a walk he takes the umbrella stroller...

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

No, you are not wrong.

100% safety issue here. I've NEVER carried both down the stairs even when they first came home.

I've always had visions of flying down the stairs with them in my arms Now that they are older, but still don't do the stairs yet (I am dreading that ) I cringe when my MIL brings them up or down. They are 25 plus pounds now and yeah, she is 70.

Unfortunately, my IL's will be doing the morning routine and taking my DC's to daycare when my DH travels so I have no choice (I have to leave by 6 am)... it does make me nervous.

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

I do not think you were wrong....

But I think maybe you hurt your dad's feelings and I think you should apologize for that. He was probably trying to give you a little break and help a little.

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

You did the right thing. You're the mom and he should respect your wishes. Heaven forbid something did happen, saying "I told you so" is a little too late! I agree with PPs that it's probably a pride issue, but you shouldn't have to apologize for wanting to protect your boys!

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)

Could it have been the way you said it? It is completely reasonable to ask someone not to carry them down the stairs at the same time - but it's tough for parents to get scolded by their children.
Is there any way you can have a chat with your dad and apologize for hurting his feelings - but let him know, at the same time, that you're not ok with him carrying them both at the same time...especially on stairs. Maybe even say something about how you don't want HIM getting hurt of one of the kids decided to twist away?

Re: Am I wrong...parent issue (vent)