Another STTN question

***this is NOT a flame***

There seems to be a trend on here lately that everyone wants their baby to sleep through the night from very early on. Why do you think this is a possibility? I mean, yes, some babies sleep through the night at a young age, but most of them do not.

As I've said before, my DS didn't sleep through the night til he was one. And my DH works nights, so I was working and getting up once, twice, sometimes three times a night by myself, and it was what it was.

But in the grand scheme of things, it was fine. We were successful at CIO when he turned one and is a great sleeper and has been, so IMO, one year of crappy sleeping si worth it for better sleep in the long run

Re: Another STTN question

I totally understand what you are saying. I have to say, reading all of the sleeping through the night posts have made me almost sad that I can't get my almost 8 month old to sleep through the night! My first DD slept through from 10 weeks old, but my second DD just isn't there yet. She needs a bottle at night to get her through, and I have accepted that she is not developmentally ready to sleep through the night yet. It almost makes me feel like a failure, because my daughter doesn't do it yet, but deep down, I know its not anything I am doing "wrong".

Re: Another STTN question

I have to agree....I think the downside of these boards is that you read about what other kids are doing, and it forces you to compare your own child to other children. Which really isn't fair to yourself, or the child.

Of course, you can also get some great advice, and learn that if you're having a problem, you're probably not the only one out there with the pcoblem...so it all evens out!

(But what do I know? Lily STTN from pretty much the beginning! )

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Yea.. I don't get it either. Sadie has been STTN from about 9 weeks old and I tell Dh how LUCKY we are all the frekkin time. We never forced it or expected it.

I do not think a parent can force a baby to sleep through the night before he/she is really ready.

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I agree. DS is 6 months and I'd love for him to STTN. But he still gets up 1-2 times. Overall, I actually still think that's not too bad. Most times he goes right back to sleep and he's a really good napper. I'm guessing he'll eventually STTN (at least I'm hoping)!

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I don't think you can force a baby to STTN either, but it does help to know that sleep training is a possibility and may work if you follow through. Or it may not, but that it is an option.

If I only had my family members as a reference and not these boards, the only point of view I would have had was that co-sleeping is a given and that there was no such thing as a baby sleeping in their own crib and STTN.

My mom and SIL's were completely shocked and dismayed at me wanting to let DS CIO and my mom (who was living with me at the time) insisted that I even let DS sleep with her if I didn't want to do it.

But, with my dr.'s advice, and all the great ladies here, I had the courage to be consistent and let DS CIO and it has worked wonders for us and DS has been STTN since 4-5 months.

ETA: Like Ali said, DS had starting STTN on his own at about 10 weeks as well and also went through sleep regression at 4 mos, which is when we decided to CIO. So I do know that he was able to STTN on his own and the CIO was to reinforce what we already knew he was able to do.

Message edited 7/15/2009 11:19:28 AM.

Re: Another STTN question

Why do you think this is a possibility?

Well i can only speak from experience. Jacen started STTN at 10 weeks old. Then when i went back to work and my in laws started to watch him, it all went to sh*t because they wouldn't swaddle him (he needed it to nap) and they didn't like to let him nap to begin with. No joke. But i know you know this story.

Anyway, it f'ed him all up and after months of putting up with it- him getting up 5 times a night because he was so overtired and his naps going from 2 hours a nap down to maybe 30 minutes max... we had to do something.

He was a wreck. We were a wreck. So CIO was our answer. We already 'knew' he could STTN without getting up to eat, so we weren't trying to force anything since he had already done it.

But he was so off track and messed up, that we had to do some sleep training mostly for him and of course partly for us. But mostly for him because my easy baby became miserable all the time.

I never expected Jacen to STTN at 10 weeks old. I expected months of waking up with him. If he was waking up once a night for many many months, we would have been fine with that. Totally do-able. However getting up 5 times a night for months was not.

So that's my story. I think it all depends on the situation. I totally would have been happy with 1 nightwaking for a while and it wouldn't have bothered me one bit. But that was not our case, unfortunately and it took a long time to correct.

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I think when people read how other babies are STTN, they wonder why their baby isn't doing that. Also, I think if a baby starts STTN at a very young age and then goes through the typical sleep regression at 4 months old, a parent starts to question why things changed.

I have a 7 month old who has STTN twice. They were flukes and I have no expectations about him STTN. He'll do it when he's ready. Do I wish he STTN? Sure, but right now I'm thrilled that over the last month, he has been sleeping longer stretches and usually wakes up once per night to nurse instead of the 2-3 times he used to wake up.

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Kaydyn didn't STTN until we did CIO at 8 months. At that point I knew she was ready b/c when she was waking at night she would literally fall asleep as soon as I put the bottle in her mouth. She was just waking out of habit.

Before then she would not have been ready. She was only waking once a night and for the most part draining an entire bottle in the middle of the night.

I think we hear all these stories of other's DC STTN and we want it to happen, but I'm of the belief that they will sleep when they want to sleep. We would not have been successful before 8 months with Kaydyn.

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i am going on what my ped told me. at 4 months when i explained her sleep patterns, she told me to start sleep training. sasha also used to sttn.

when i see posts about other babies sttn, i definitely wonder why sasha can't do it, but until i try all the methods i am comfortable with, i think it's ok to not accept it and explore ways to help. if nothing helps-- then it is what it is.

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I tell everyone that I am TOTALLY blessed that my twins started STTN at about 10 weeks. I am friggin lucky as he11 and I know it.

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Neither one of my DC's are sleepers either, my almost 4 year old, even still has nights where he wakes...As I had said in my other post, I "try" to remind myself that children are really just small adults,ome adults are better sleepers than others, so I shouldn't expect any different from my DC's....Its the every hour thing that gets me batty, and we've been having lots of those nights lately so I'm hoping that phase passes

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Oh i also want to add and i'm sure many people will disagree with me... but i'm going to say it anyway.

These babies know what they're doing (i'm not talking about newborns). Yes some might wake out of hunger for many many months. But there are many times when they might just be working you. They learn early on how to manipulate and get what they want. Jacen knew/knows how to milk it like no other!!!!

So sometimes it's not about when they're ready. Many are ready earlier than you think they are. But they learn quick on how to get what they want. That is JMHO and i'm sticking with it!

Re: Another STTN question

I truly don't believe any baby is ready to consistently STTN until after 6 months. At 6 months most babies go through a growth spurt. Growth spurt = more feedings= less sleep. Just because a baby does it for a few weeks doesn't necessarily mean they are physically able to do it all the time.

My first didn't STTN until almost a year (with CIO-extinction). My second started STTN at 5 months, but that darn growth spurt hit and we are still dealing with 1 night waking (usually at about 11pm). She nurses like crazy when I go in- so I HAVE to believe this is more than a comfort thing.

Even at 2, my older DD still wakes on occasion.

I guess I don't feel alot of sympathy because I did it, while pg, AND while working. And on the days I'm not working, DH does doubles, so I'm still the one getting up a 5:30 with #1 after #2 has been up all night. I was/am exhausted- but I KNOW eventually I'll get my 8 hours back. I guess I just feel like this is one of those things you *just go through* as a mother.

It's such a small period of time in their lives, I try to remember that in a few years I'll be wishing for those quiet moments alone with them snuggling in the middle of the night.

Message edited 7/15/2009 11:46:18 AM.

Re: Another STTN question

Posted by aliwnec10

Oh i also want to add and i'm sure many people will disagree with me... but i'm going to say it anyway.

These babies know what they're doing (i'm not talking about newborns). Yes some might wake out of hunger for many many months. But there are many times when they might just be working you. They learn early on how to manipulate and get what they want. Jacen knew/knows how to milk it like no other!!!!

So sometimes it's not about when they're ready. Many are ready earlier than you think they are. But they learn quick on how to get what they want. That is JMHO and i'm sticking with it!

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I didn't read all of the responses, but I am almost relieved to read this. And I was also relieved to read the responses to Randi's post about the sleep training. So many people responded about how it is more the norm to have your baby NOT STTN.

I can only speak for myself, but I think when I read about someone's baby STTN I remember that post more than the ones about the babies who aren't.

I think from now on I'm just going to be grateful that, for the most part, my DD is a very good sleeper. If I have to wake to give her one bottle, I should just savor the moment. She will only be this little for a brief time.

Re: Another STTN question

I think it's perfectly normal for a mom to want her child to sleep through the night at an early age. When you're sleep deprived, it's awful. Some people deal better than others, and while many babies cannot sttn at an early age, I cannot blame a mom who wishes they would. Just because some people could deal with the no sleep better than others doesn't mean that we should judge the moms who so desperately want their sleep back. I was very fortunate that Ava slept through the night from 6 weeks on, but even in those first six weeks, I could barely function and prayed daily for a good night's sleep. Yes, moms should know that many babies aren't ready to sleep through the night, but they also shouldn't be faulted for trying to get them to do it, either. Lord knows I would be one of those moms trying.

Re: Another STTN question

Posted by Palebride

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by Porrruss

I truly don't believe any baby is ready to consistently STTN until after 6 months. At 6 months most babies go through a growth spurt. Growth spurt = more feedings= less sleep. Just because a baby does it for a few weeks doesn't necessarily mean they are physically able to do it all the time.

I have to disagree with this. My DD started STTN through the night at the later end of 8 weeks, she is almost 6 months and her STTN has been consistent. She never went through sleep regression at 4 months, even when she's had a cold she has slept through the night.

I'm going to disagree with you also!
I DO believe there are a few babies who can do it...because Lily totally started at 6 weeks old, and maybe 10 times since that has she woken up at night....in 2 years.

But I'm also a fabulous sleeper, and I think she inherited that from me!

Re: Another STTN question

I agree with a lot of the AP that when you are sleep deprived and reading about infants that are already STTN it really makes you wonder why yours isn't already (even though we all know that babies are all different!) We had a challenging first year with sleep, but I wouldn't change a thing---even sleep deprived, we made it thru

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Let's see......I have 3 kids and all 3 are different even with sleeping habits.

Dd # 1 slept through the night since 12 weeks and never really changed her pattern, not even with teething. She was a dream baby.

My other 2 are very much different from my first and each other. I agree with Kate. Every kid is different, there is no need to rush anything. Things will come with time and consistency.

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I might be the crazy one in the group, but I sort of enjoy that my DD doesn't sleep through the night yet...its one of the few times when she is still a "baby" and I get to hold her and rock her and cuddle her! I would love for her to sleep through the night for lots of reasons, but as long as she still needs a bottle, I won't complain too much because its our special time together.