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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by smdl
I was giving my opinion on manipulation. Someone agreed with you and I quoted you both.
It had NOTHING to do with both your kids. It was my opinion on manipulation. OMG.... this is nuts!
That's getting completely out of control. I want no part of drama.
Yes but i never said anything about an age. So why are you calling me out on that and having a problem with my statement about babies learning how to manipulate? You don't think a 10 month old can manipulate? 
It just seems like this thread was fine, but then you started judging those that have done CIO and that's not fair, especially since you don't know each individuals circumstances. You basically said that those of us who have done CIO aren't tolerant and don't care about reassuring our child. That's not fair at all to say.
This wasn't a thread on why are you against CIO or for CIO. It just seems like you're bashing those that are for it and i take offense to that. 
Alright, since this is going to be an "argument", the age was about the OTHER poster. She ITA with you. So she was INCLUDED also in my answer.
Gosh... Because I said I don't believe in CIO, NOWHERE will you see me that I BASH people who do it. Yet, I still don't believe in it. That's MY opinion and I am sticking to it.
Listen, I teach moms/dads about bonding time, etc... So it is NORMAL for me to say that I believe in patience. That was really related to kid have their own timing.
I am NOT going to dissect my answer because you think that I bashed you. You don't know bashing then. I ALREADY that I was giving my opinion on the "manipulation". Someone was quoting you and I quoted you both.
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Posted 7/15/09 2:57 PM  |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by chikita315
Posted by MrsRbk
Posted by dm24angel
All I know is if it were me, I would be trying it all too.
Same here!
And I live in fear that DD is spoiling us so bad that our next child will NEVER sleep!  (j/k... I don't live in fear of that...) - well kinda! 
OMG - I always tell DH that our next child will be devil spawn. LOL
same here, there is no way I will get TWO great sleepers
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| Posted 7/15/09 2:58 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another STTN question
oh yeah same here...
I am doomed bc this one slept from day 2 all nite long...this was the easiest journey ever...really...
Message edited 7/15/2009 3:05:42 PM.
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| Posted 7/15/09 3:05 PM |
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aliwnec10
mom of 3 boys
Member since 4/06 11426 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by smdl
Alright, since this is going to be an "argument", the age was about the OTHER poster. She ITA with you. So she was INCLUDED also in my answer.
Gosh... Because I said I don't believe in CIO, NOWHERE will you see me that I BASH people who do it. Yet, I still don't believe in it. That's MY opinion and I am sticking to it.
Listen, I teach moms/dads about bonding time, etc... So it is NORMAL for me to say that I believe in patience. That was really related to kid have their own timing.
I am NOT going to dissect my answer because you think that I bashed you. You don't know bashing then. I ALREADY that I was giving my opinion on the "manipulation". Someone was quoting you and I quoted you both.
Okay first off, i was trying to be really nice in how i answered. But by your tone... it doesn't seem like you care to.
Whether you see it or not, you were being judgemental against those who do do CIO, especially before 6 months. Just because we may have done CIO before 6 months... at a time for reassurance, tolerance and bonding... doesn't mean we don't want all of the above or aren't tolerant, etc etc. But again, until you've been in my shoes or someone else's shoes... you shouldn't judge. That's all i was saying.
Ok i'm done.
Message edited 7/15/2009 3:08:57 PM.
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| Posted 7/15/09 3:08 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by aliwnec10
Posted by smdl
Alright, since this is going to be an "argument", the age was about the OTHER poster. She ITA with you. So she was INCLUDED also in my answer.
Gosh... Because I said I don't believe in CIO, NOWHERE will you see me that I BASH people who do it. Yet, I still don't believe in it. That's MY opinion and I am sticking to it.
Listen, I teach moms/dads about bonding time, etc... So it is NORMAL for me to say that I believe in patience. That was really related to kid have their own timing.
I am NOT going to dissect my answer because you think that I bashed you. You don't know bashing then. I ALREADY that I was giving my opinion on the "manipulation". Someone was quoting you and I quoted you both.
Okay first off, i was trying to be really nice in how i answered. But by your tone... it doesn't seem like you care to.
Whether you see it or not, you were being judgemental against those who do do CIO, especially before 6 months. Just because we may have done CIO before 6 months... at a time for reassurance, tolerance and bonding... doesn't mean we don't want all of the above or aren't tolerant, etc etc. But again, until you've been in my shoes or someone else's shoes... you shouldn't judge. That's all i was saying.
Ok i'm done.
You are not supposed to do CIO before 6 months. *I* did not come up with that BTW. Read other posters on this. And they did CIO themselves. So don't bash me for saying that you should not do CIO before 6 months.
You are forgetting the whole point of this thread. Some people are very eager to have their child STTN. And it seems like a lot of new moms expect their child to STTN at a very early age. So you started your own answer on manipulation and I expressed my opinion on this KEEPING in mind that we are talking about BABIES. So now you are talking about YOUR kid. Who said anything about your story and your kid.
That has nothing to do with me and my opinion on CIO or you and your DS at 10 months. It's about STTN, kids at the age being talking in this thead.
If you want to talk about manipulation in a thread addressing toddlers then I would answer differentlyl.
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| Posted 7/15/09 3:21 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another STTN question
I did CIO really early compared to others, and I did get some flames at first on here when I shared our story. But, it worked for us and DD has slept through the night ever since that 1 or 2 nights we let her cry for an hour. Everyone is different....for us, personally, we could not function on a few hours sleep and we had to do what seemed right for us.
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| Posted 7/15/09 3:25 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Another STTN question
Aside from the drama, I want to put my two cents in...I'm blessed that DD doesn't have major sleeping issues...She started STTN at 8 weeks then had a MAJOR regression at 4 months and at about 5.5 months started sleeping 11 hours consistently....if the sleep regression lasted would I have done CIO, NO, do I think CIO works, YES, but I KNOW for my child it would not have worked, I'm not saying that bc I'm not a believer, it's bc I know my child, and I think every child is very different...and I do believe that some children are just inehrently "bad" sleepers and will not sleep well until they hit a certain age, whether it's 6 months or 6 years old....
just my two cents...
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| Posted 7/15/09 3:33 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by KateDevine
***this is NOT a flame***
There seems to be a trend on here lately that everyone wants their baby to sleep through the night from very early on. Why do you think this is a possibility? I mean, yes, some babies sleep through the night at a young age, but most of them do not.
As I've said before, my DS didn't sleep through the night til he was one. And my DH works nights, so I was working and getting up once, twice, sometimes three times a night by myself, and it was what it was.
But in the grand scheme of things, it was fine. We were successful at CIO when he turned one and is a great sleeper and has been, so IMO, one year of crappy sleeping si worth it for better sleep in the long run
They probably feel the same way you did when your kid DS was 6 months old . And for the same reason that you tried CIO at 6 months... because sleep deprivation (as i agree with what you said in your post at that time) is Torture... so you try whatever you can to get through it.
I won't be a parent for another couple of weeks, but even before getting PG, this has been such a fear of mine- because i know how i get/feel when i'm completely sleep deprived. I can go 36 hours on 3 hrs of sleep, but i still have my limitations- and with babies, there's no guarantee that you'll eventually get that break that you need. This is something i've tried to prepare myself as much as possible for (though we all know how much that counts for when it really comes down to it lol)
I understand that you had luck at 1 year with your DS, but that also isnt a guarantee. Still, that doesnt mean, as a parent, that you dont try. My niece didn't start sleeping TTN until between 2 & 3 yrs old... that doesn't mean that SIL & BIL shouldnt have tried earlier to get her into a routine that maybe she wasn't 'ready for'. She's almost 5 now and is still a pretty crappy sleeper, so eventhough i see what youre trying to say that 1 year was worth it for you guys because all is well now- that was what worked for your kid- it's not a given for everyone else's.
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| Posted 7/15/09 3:37 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by neenie
They probably feel the same way you did
when your kid DS was 6 months old . And for the same reason that you tried CIO at 6 months... because sleep deprivation (as i agree with what you said in your post at that time) is Torture... so you try whatever you can to get through it.
I won't be a parent for another couple of weeks, but even before getting PG, this has been such a fear of mine- because i know how i get/feel when i'm completely sleep deprived. I can go 36 hours on 3 hrs of sleep, but i still have my limitations- and with babies, there's no guarantee that you'll eventually get that break that you need. This is something i've tried to prepare myself as much as possible for (though we all know how much that counts for when it really comes down to it lol)
I understand that you had luck at 1 year with your DS, but that also isnt a guarantee. Still, that doesnt mean, as a parent, that you dont try. My niece didn't start sleeping TTN until between 2 & 3 yrs old... that doesn't mean that SIL & BIL shouldnt have tried earlier to get her into a routine that maybe she wasn't 'ready for'. She's almost 5 now and is still a pretty crappy sleeper, so eventhough i see what youre trying to say that 1 year was worth it for you guys because all is well now- that was what worked for your kid- it's not a given for everyone else's.
Okay 1 - kind of passive agressive with the quote link.
2 - I think you are making Kate's point - every kid is different.
You will EVENTUALLY have success and sleep again. And she's even saying she gets it - everyone wants it, but don't beat yourself up over if it you can't.
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:06 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by leighla
Okay 1 - kind of passive agressive with the quote link.
2 - I think you are making Kate's point - every kid is different.
You will EVENTUALLY have success and sleep again. And she's even saying she gets it - everyone wants it, but don't beat yourself up over if it you can't.
1- i didnt think it was passive agressive- it was blatant in saying that some of us either have been there or soon will be... but i think its easy to forget that when you have a kid that's sleeping through the night. ( I Added a link to support my argument- not really sure how that's passive aggressive? Anyone who knows how i post knows that i'm not really passive about making my point lol)
2- i AGREE that all kids are different- some respond earlier to attempts to STTN, some don't, but i dont see the point in a post telling people not to try.
Message edited 7/15/2009 4:19:52 PM.
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:15 PM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: Another STTN question
My first daughter sttn at 7 weeks. My premee twins sttn at 13 weeks.
AM I lucky, HECK yes. Did I do a lot of research to see what I can do to make it happen as quickly as possible? HECK yes! I think its a combination.
My heart goes out to all the mothers and fathers that need a good night's sleep.
Sleep deprivation does crazy things to you.
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:16 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by MrsDrMatt
Sleep deprivation does crazy things to you.
oh he!!z yeah! I think I have a mental block against her first month because the sleep deprivation was so bad.
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:18 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another STTN question
All kids are different.
All parents have different limitations.
All parents handle things differently.
I think when you have a baby everything that you felt or believed in BEFORE having a child goes out the window. I think Megan was sleeping through the night by 3 months. Before that, it wasnt a HUGE deal because this is what I expected would go on when I had a baby. Its a part of having an infant. Am I grateful it only lasted 3 months? OF COURSE!! Looking back it wasnt that big of a deal but when I was going through it, I am sure it was.
I have learned that whatever phase you "conquer" with a child, there is a harder one right behind it. Like when Megan was 10 months and she would wake up for 3 hours in the middle of the night. Or like now when she wakes up every night at 4 and 5 screaming about monsters in her room.
You get through the hard parts..and when its rough we find ANY WAY we can to deal with it. Expecting that an infant will sleep through the night is just like expecting that they will be born walking and talking. Looking for ways to get through the hard time, totally normal.
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:25 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Another STTN question
Abby started STTN a while ago when she wasin day care and I knew I was blessed. Now that she's been home with me for the past 3 or so weeks and teething and not eating well, she wakes up at 2:30, 3 or 4 on any given day. It is what it is. It will get better. I don't CIO because we share walls/floors with others. It is simply not fair to impose that on someone else. Would I do it if I could, I'd have to see how desperate I was for sleep. When it is time for Abby to go to bed, I put her in, she crawls around her crib for as much as an hour and then falls asleep. She only wakes up crying, but never falls asleep crying. I havent added much to this have I?
Message edited 7/15/2009 4:31:39 PM.
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:25 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Another STTN question
No one is in my childs room in the middle of the night helping her to sleep but me or DH....as I am not in any of your children's rooms...do what works for you. I also don't think having a post about what people expect of their kids and commenting on others expectations is helpful at all.
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:28 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Another STTN question
My DS has been a good sleeper. However, I was on maternity leave with him for 11 months. I had the luxury of resting during his naptime if we had a rough night. I pretty much allowed him to figure out his own schedule. I am thrilled it worked out for us, but I also realize we were lucky, no day-night confusion, no colic, no reflux, overall a pretty mellow baby. If I had to go back to work when he was 3 months old or sooner, would I have been able to do that? Maybe, maybe not. My mantra as a mom is "if it works for your family and everyone seems happy with it, who am I to say it's wrong?"
I also think we all have our crosses to bear. My kid sleeps like a champ, but even though he has almost all his teeth he will only eat about 7 things. That is my challenge and the thing I stress about. If I ask for help I appreciate it, but I don't appreciate other people telling me what I should try or what he should be doing at this age if I am not asking for advice. It's not helpful and it can be hurtful.
I guess I just don't understand the judgment on here sometimes (on both sides). Unless you are putting someone else's baby to sleep on a regular basis, what does it matter how you do it?
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:31 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Another STTN question
I am one of those sleep deprived Moms with two babies that still wake up-usually once before I go to bed-about 11PM or so, sometimes around 2-3 AM and again around 5:30 6 AM. They are almost 8 months old. They suck down at least 1 of those bottles and other times don't drink the whole thing. I get my sleep where I can and luckily have my babysitter some at 8AM so I sleep for a couple of hours then.
I think everyone handles sleep deprivation differently-if I didn't get to sleep in the mornings I would be a lunatic so I don't begrudge anyone for doing whatever they want to or have the means to do. I also think people are being pretty harsh on this thread and the other thread but thats all I'll say on that. I'm too tired today to get into it
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:45 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by Moehick
I also don't think having a post about what people expect of their kids and commenting on others expectations is helpful at all.
me either, recipe for disaster
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| Posted 7/15/09 4:49 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another STTN question
Posted by neenie
Posted by leighla
Okay 1 - kind of passive agressive with the quote link.
2 - I think you are making Kate's point - every kid is different.
You will EVENTUALLY have success and sleep again. And she's even saying she gets it - everyone wants it, but don't beat yourself up over if it you can't.
1- i didnt think it was passive agressive- it was blatant in saying that some of us either have been there or soon will be... but i think its easy to forget that when you have a kid that's sleeping through the night. ( I Added a link to support my argument- not really sure how that's passive aggressive? Anyone who knows how i post knows that i'm not really passive about making my point lol)
2- i AGREE that all kids are different- some respond earlier to attempts to STTN, some don't, but i dont see the point in a post telling people not to try.
You totally did make my point. I have said ad nasuem on these boards that CIO did not work for us until DS was ONE year old. Which is the whole point of this post....that I was "tortured" by it, and I did not expect it, I was told to do it by my ped.
Honestly, continuity is key with any type of sleep training, and we didn't have it until DS was older...well, at least I know that for sure
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| Posted 7/15/09 5:01 PM |
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babyfaith
Onward and Upward!
Member since 2/08 3210 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another STTN question
DD is 2 months old and has STTN since 4 weeks. DH and I are waiting for our luck to run out.
Message edited 7/15/2009 5:49:35 PM.
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| Posted 7/15/09 5:48 PM |
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Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Another STTN question
DS started STTN at 9 weeks. We were very lucky.
When we transferred him to the crib, we went through a time where we had to CIO since I wanted him to put him down awake and have him learn to go to sleep on his own.
We tried at 4 months with no luck. Gave it a few weeks and tried again at 5 months and it worked beautifully and we've been blessed with a great sleeper since.
Don't get me wrong, we've had our challenging nights; fever, teething etc, but for the most part, he's been great. I know every child is different and does things at their own pace, but we're proof that it IS possible to be successful with CIO before a year.
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| Posted 7/16/09 9:25 AM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Another STTN question
I am so glad you wrote this because I have battled this issue for months. I finally threw the expectations and the methods out the window and decided to just go with it.
Sydnie is 10 months old. She wakes 6 out of 7 nights around 4 am for a bottle. I get up, I give it to her and we are both back asleep within 10 minutes, happy as clams.
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| Posted 7/16/09 9:41 AM |
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