Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Initially, I thought I wanted to be surprised until the baby was born. DH absolutely wants to be surprised. However, as the pregnancy progresses, I find myself wanting to know the sex more and more. DH said he'll do whatever makes me happy. I am so torn.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

we originially wanted to wait, and not find out... but like you said, as the pregnancy progressed,, we are just dying to know! and we are going to find out now! we said with the second child we will hold out.. its harder with the first

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

I find myself thinking the same thing! Well, the second one can be a surprise.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Posted by MrsPornStar

I find myself thinking the same thing! Well, the second one can be a surprise.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

we're having a hard time with this. DH wants to find out and I don't. I'm still early (just over 10 weeks) and am sure it's going to get harder. I really hope I can stick to my guns!

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

We felt the same way and when the time came where we could find out (at the 20wk), we had the tech write the gender in a sealed envelope. That way we had more time to decide whether or not we really wanted to know/open the envelope.

Message edited 5/3/2008 8:15:13 PM.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

DH and I were set on not finding out! But, then we went to BRU the week before the Level II sonogram and once we walked in and saw everything, we knew we had to find out. Originally, we didn't want to know because we wanted to surprise in the delivery room and, after all, how many real surprises in life do you get? But, now that we know, I wouldn't change it for the world. I feel so much more connected to knowing that it's a boy. DH and I call him by name and we can decorate his room the way we'd like.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

i almost caved at the 20 week sono, but i ended up being so glad we waited! it was the best surprise in the whole world to find out when she was born!

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

I knew I didnt want to know and DH said he would go with whatever I wanted (what a good husband )

I was slightly tempted at the level 2, but I regrouped. really just can't wait to have that moment in the delivery room and that makes up for waiting the 9 months for

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

we are and I'm glad for that. You can't get that opportunity back and I think it is special to wait to find out. I've had my moments when I thought of caving, but stayed strong! Plus, I wanted neutral gear so the second one could use it all one day.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Totally respect what each mom wants to do but since I was determined to find out (and I had a lot of negative comments) I wanted to share MY spin on it.

My SURPRISE was meeting my son for the first time when they handed him to me. To see this little person that had been inside me for 9 months...I had dreamt of what he would look like and always thought he would be 100% my DH so I was surprised and delighted to see my own eyes staring back at me.

I loved shopping for him and preparing for him...it's totally my personality so it was a must for me.

Personally, I had no regrets about finding out the sex and will do it again when the time comes. But I do give people that wait it out a ton of credit...I am so bad with not knowing.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Posted by Ang-Rich

Totally respect what each mom wants to do but since I was determined to find out (and I had a lot of negative comments) I wanted to share MY spin on it.

My SURPRISE was meeting my son for the first time when they handed him to me. To see this little person that had been inside me for 9 months...I had dreamt of what he would look like and always thought he would be 100% my DH so I was surprised and delighted to see my own eyes staring back at me.

I loved shopping for him and preparing for him...it's totally my personality so it was a must for me.

Personally, I had no regrets about finding out the sex and will do it again when the time comes. But I do give people that wait it out a ton of credit...I am so bad with not knowing.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

I wanted to know and DH didnt- i won the arguement. I am SO happy that we found out... it has given both of us time to get used to that we are going to have a in the house and it has been so much fun for me to shop and pick up little girl items that i find on sale (both grandmas have been going crazy shopping as well) I personally feel like i will be just as suprised when I meet her when she is born...

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

I def needed to know...I want to pick out cute bedding and decorate accordingly.
and for me, knowing makes it all the more exciting...registering for her was so much fun, and my uncle just sent a bunch of cute onesies and it was sooo exciting!

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Posted by sasha96

we are and I'm glad for that. You can't get that opportunity back and I think it is special to wait to find out. I've had my moments when I thought of caving, but stayed strong! Plus, I wanted neutral gear so the second one could use it all one day.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Be surprised. It makes the pregnancy so much more fun.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

I became a first time mom this past March and we didn't find out what we were having. We are so glad we waited. There aren't many real surprises in life - and NOTHING is bigger than this was. It made labor and pushing more bearable - because we couldn't wait to hear the doctor say "It's a _____!" It was so amazing and worth the wait! Plus it was fun having everyone guess what was. BTW - we had a ... mommy's intuition was right

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Posted by MetsGirl07

we originially wanted to wait, and not find out... but like you said, as the pregnancy progressed,, we are just dying to know! and we are going to find out now! we said with the second child we will hold out.. its harder with the first

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

we chose to find out and i am extremly glad we did...i need to plan and i would have went nuts not knowing!
that being said many ppl asked me why we are ruining the suprise....to me it was still a suprise at 20wks...its not like i knew what i was having! so really its a suprise at 20 wks or 40wks whichever you choose!
i love that some ppl choose to wait that extra while for their suprise, but some ppl need their suprise to be a little sooner ive never been good at waiting!

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

I loved not finding out!!
While pregnant, it was a little difficult and the temptation was always there...but I loved that moment when the doctor said "It's a girl!"...still brings tears to my eyes!!

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

I loved not knowing. The best feeling was hearing..."it's a, it's a...girl." (she wasn't cooperating) So while I get the whole, I have to know, I was more on the side of there are so few surprises in life, let this be one of them.

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Holls--we decided to find out b/c I'm a planner & all & just couldn't go all that time not knowing....(we didn't tell anyone though)

Also...when you deliver there are so many other "surprises" & you are going to have so much emotion just holding that new baby for the first time whether you know or don't know.

It was such an exciting time at the 20 wk sono to find out...

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

we simply can't wait... we're having a heck of a time with names... we would never be able to come up with two!
I'm also waaaay too curious!

(however, everything we want is gender neutral, so decorating isn't an issue)

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

I decided that I want to be surprised. My DH wanted to know. We are not finding out because he compromised.

I can't wait to hear those words, "It's A ________"

We are both soooo curious and talk about the sex of the baby all the time (and play fun ridiculous games about it) but ultimately we are happy with my decision. Well at least I am

Re: Anyone else torn about finding out the baby's gender?

Holly, I completely wanted it to be a surprise and DH wanted to know. I "won" the argument, and then found out quite by accident. I was completely devastated.

Putting that aside, my reasons for wanting the surprise as still valid. In no particular order the reasons:

the gender of your child is the only pure surprise left in life. Yes, what he/she looks like is a surprise, and the feeling you get when that baby is finally in your arms is awesome, but there is something about hearing those words "it's a _____" in the delivery room that send a chill up your spine and put a smile on your face that in my experience is unparallelled. (In my case, I knew but DH didn't, so I got to watch his face as he found out for the first time).

when we were born our parents didn't have the option of finding out the gender. We (and they) were able to decorate the nursery and buy gear wtihout any trouble at all. In fact, they even used some gear for more than one child because it was gender neutral.

as with weddings the female half of this endeavor is the subject of ALL the attention and the male half is an after thought. However, if you don't find out dad gets his moment to shine when he exits the delivery room and announces to everyone boy or girl. Personally, I couldn't deprive DH of that moment.

if you find out the gender during the entire pregnancy everyone knows (unless you have the ability to keep it to yourself) and there are no big surprises for the family later on. The whole time everyone knows the baby's name etc etc. I don't know, to me not knowing is part of the una nd joy of pregnancy. Picking and discarding names. Discussing names, wondering who this little person will be. It's all part of the experience. For me I felt I really lost some of it by knowing.

But this is all JMHO and you & your DH will have to decide what is best for the two of you. Good luck with your decision, but remember, once you find out - you know and you can't change your mind.