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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by lululu
Can I also ask those that support suspension of a 9 year old, what do you think that the suspension accomplishes? 9 year old boys would take a day off over going to school any day. Isn’t there a more appropriate punishment?
I actually worked with the school and he had a three hour time out today during which time he had to do the class work he was missing, meet with the vice principal as well as the school social worker and a counselor. Then all the boys involved met with the recess aide to discuss how to handle things better on the playground and they all have to take a week off from that sport this week. I feel like that accomplishes a hell of a lot more than a suspension at this age level.
Any kid, any age would probably enjoy taking a day off vs. going to school. I think the bigger consequence would come from me as a parent if my child was suspended. He/she certainly wouldn't be home playing video games, or having one ounce of fun while being suspended.
I'm glad you are happy with the consequences he received, and hopefully he doesn't hit anyone ever again.
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Posted 5/14/18 9:14 PM  |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by lululu
Can I also ask those that support suspension of a 9 year old, what do you think that the suspension accomplishes? 9 year old boys would take a day off over going to school any day. Isn’t there a more appropriate punishment?
I actually worked with the school and he had a three hour time out today during which time he had to do the class work he was missing, meet with the vice principal as well as the school social worker and a counselor. Then all the boys involved met with the recess aide to discuss how to handle things better on the playground and they all have to take a week off from that sport this week. I feel like that accomplishes a hell of a lot more than a suspension at this age level.
I’m a 3rd grade teacher.
A suspension teaches 9 year olds that violence won’t be tolerated. I agree that the child who teased him should also be punished, but violence is NEVER to be tolerated. Peer counseling for both boys. But I stand by my support of suspension. If he’s not punished, and sternly, he learns it ok to solve problems with fists.
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| Posted 5/14/18 10:00 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by itsagoodlife
Posted by lululu
Can I also ask those that support suspension of a 9 year old, what do you think that the suspension accomplishes? 9 year old boys would take a day off over going to school any day. Isn’t there a more appropriate punishment?
I actually worked with the school and he had a three hour time out today during which time he had to do the class work he was missing, meet with the vice principal as well as the school social worker and a counselor. Then all the boys involved met with the recess aide to discuss how to handle things better on the playground and they all have to take a week off from that sport this week. I feel like that accomplishes a hell of a lot more than a suspension at this age level.
I’m a 3rd grade teacher.
A suspension teaches 9 year olds that violence won’t be tolerated. I agree that the child who teased him should also be punished, but violence is NEVER to be tolerated. Peer counseling for both boys. But I stand by my support of suspension. If he’s not punished, and sternly, he learns it ok to solve problems with fists.
I see where you are coming from but I did a lot of research about suspensions at a young age and the effects that it has on very young children. The evidence was overwhelming that more harm than good comes from a punishment in that form. It’s an antiquated approach. There are better ways to teach a lesson and I am glad the school was able to realize that. Also as I understand it most schools have zero tolerance anti bullying policies so I believe bullying is technically never supposed to be tolerated either.
Also, I am fairly certain my son learned his lesson even before the punishment today, but like I said he has never used violence to solve any problem prior to this isolated incident.
Message edited 5/14/2018 10:59:45 PM.
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| Posted 5/14/18 10:58 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by itsagoodlife
Posted by lululu
Can I also ask those that support suspension of a 9 year old, what do you think that the suspension accomplishes? 9 year old boys would take a day off over going to school any day. Isn’t there a more appropriate punishment?
I actually worked with the school and he had a three hour time out today during which time he had to do the class work he was missing, meet with the vice principal as well as the school social worker and a counselor. Then all the boys involved met with the recess aide to discuss how to handle things better on the playground and they all have to take a week off from that sport this week. I feel like that accomplishes a hell of a lot more than a suspension at this age level.
I’m a 3rd grade teacher.
A suspension teaches 9 year olds that violence won’t be tolerated. I agree that the child who teased him should also be punished, but violence is NEVER to be tolerated. Peer counseling for both boys. But I stand by my support of suspension. If he’s not punished, and sternly, he learns it ok to solve problems with fists.
Also just curious since you are a teacher, do you think that there should be any consequences for the aide who my son went to THREE times to try to get the kids to stop teasing him but did nothing? I actually like this aide very much and don’t want her to get in trouble but I think after the second time she should have escalated the problem and made someone aware that my son was being teased/bullied relentlessly for crying and was seeking adult intervention to make it stop.
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| Posted 5/14/18 11:04 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by MrsT809
Being good students shouldn't really matter and neither should not having been in trouble before. Shouldn't there be a code of conduct outlining the consequences in the school? Whatever the consequence for bullying and hitting, that is what each should receive depending on which offense they committed imo. Boy A should perhaps also receive a consequence for lying.
I don’t know about NY, but in my state, by law, a student’s history is absolutely taken into consideration when determining the appropriate level of discipline. The law is also geared towards keeping kids in school for punishments, especially younger ones. Kids can receive in school suspensions up to 10 days. The conduct has to be pretty egregious to warrant an out of school suspension.
Personally, I think an out of school suspension for what happened, especially in light of never having been in trouble before and trying to address the teasing by telling an aide multiple times, is harsh. Hitting is never okay and the administration should talk with him on better ways to handle conflicts and teasing. I think both boys should be disciplined, but losing recess for a week is probably fair. Even if the Principal felt it was necessary to suspend him, an in school suspension where he’s totally separated from his classmates in a controlled environment is a more effective punishment than being home for a day.
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| Posted 5/15/18 5:23 AM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by lululu
Posted by itsagoodlife
Posted by lululu
Can I also ask those that support suspension of a 9 year old, what do you think that the suspension accomplishes? 9 year old boys would take a day off over going to school any day. Isn’t there a more appropriate punishment?
I actually worked with the school and he had a three hour time out today during which time he had to do the class work he was missing, meet with the vice principal as well as the school social worker and a counselor. Then all the boys involved met with the recess aide to discuss how to handle things better on the playground and they all have to take a week off from that sport this week. I feel like that accomplishes a hell of a lot more than a suspension at this age level.
I’m a 3rd grade teacher.
A suspension teaches 9 year olds that violence won’t be tolerated. I agree that the child who teased him should also be punished, but violence is NEVER to be tolerated. Peer counseling for both boys. But I stand by my support of suspension. If he’s not punished, and sternly, he learns it ok to solve problems with fists.
Also just curious since you are a teacher, do you think that there should be any consequences for the aide who my son went to THREE times to try to get the kids to stop teasing him but did nothing? I actually like this aide very much and don’t want her to get in trouble but I think after the second time she should have escalated the problem and made someone aware that my son was being teased/bullied relentlessly for crying and was seeking adult intervention to make it stop.
If you feel it was truly bullying, you should be filing a DASA report with the district. This obligates them to address it and is reported to the state.
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| Posted 5/15/18 5:27 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by Lauren82
Posted by lululu
Posted by itsagoodlife
Posted by lululu
Can I also ask those that support suspension of a 9 year old, what do you think that the suspension accomplishes? 9 year old boys would take a day off over going to school any day. Isn’t there a more appropriate punishment?
I actually worked with the school and he had a three hour time out today during which time he had to do the class work he was missing, meet with the vice principal as well as the school social worker and a counselor. Then all the boys involved met with the recess aide to discuss how to handle things better on the playground and they all have to take a week off from that sport this week. I feel like that accomplishes a hell of a lot more than a suspension at this age level.
I’m a 3rd grade teacher.
A suspension teaches 9 year olds that violence won’t be tolerated. I agree that the child who teased him should also be punished, but violence is NEVER to be tolerated. Peer counseling for both boys. But I stand by my support of suspension. If he’s not punished, and sternly, he learns it ok to solve problems with fists.
Also just curious since you are a teacher, do you think that there should be any consequences for the aide who my son went to THREE times to try to get the kids to stop teasing him but did nothing? I actually like this aide very much and don’t want her to get in trouble but I think after the second time she should have escalated the problem and made someone aware that my son was being teased/bullied relentlessly for crying and was seeking adult intervention to make it stop.
If you feel it was truly bullying, you should be filing a DASA report with the district. This obligates them to address it and is reported to the state.
I sent a letter to the school so I have it documented in writing but honestly I just want to put the whole thing behind us. My son was hysterically crying for the better part of friday and was punished at home and school. I highly doubt he will get himself into this situation again and I told him that if the bullying continues he is to make me aware immediately. Then I will escalate it further.
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| Posted 5/15/18 8:52 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by lululu
Posted by itsagoodlife
Posted by lululu
Can I also ask those that support suspension of a 9 year old, what do you think that the suspension accomplishes? 9 year old boys would take a day off over going to school any day. Isn’t there a more appropriate punishment?
I actually worked with the school and he had a three hour time out today during which time he had to do the class work he was missing, meet with the vice principal as well as the school social worker and a counselor. Then all the boys involved met with the recess aide to discuss how to handle things better on the playground and they all have to take a week off from that sport this week. I feel like that accomplishes a hell of a lot more than a suspension at this age level.
I’m a 3rd grade teacher.
A suspension teaches 9 year olds that violence won’t be tolerated. I agree that the child who teased him should also be punished, but violence is NEVER to be tolerated. Peer counseling for both boys. But I stand by my support of suspension. If he’s not punished, and sternly, he learns it ok to solve problems with fists.
Also just curious since you are a teacher, do you think that there should be any consequences for the aide who my son went to THREE times to try to get the kids to stop teasing him but did nothing? I actually like this aide very much and don’t want her to get in trouble but I think after the second time she should have escalated the problem and made someone aware that my son was being teased/bullied relentlessly for crying and was seeking adult intervention to make it stop.
Can I ask, how do you know the aide did nothing to intervene? It's seems as if Boy A and Boy B have a friendship of sorts. They play together on the playground and Boy A was willing to lie so Boy B wouldn't get in trouble. Is it at all possible that Boy B is seeing things skewed? If he was being bullied relentlessly and crying - when was this and how was it addressed? I don't think the 2 incidents are dependent on each other although they may influence the hitting incident. 9 years olds are not a great source or reliable information - not because they lie but because 9 years olds don't have great perception to things that go on around them. Is it possible that Boy A is not bullying; but teasing. I know my own 9 year old will come home and tell me no one plays with him. He believe this to be true but if I let him talk further - it's is so far from no one playing with him. He says that because he only got to pitch once in kickball when he wanted to pitch the whole time.
As for supporting suspension...I don't believe that suspension should take place out of school unless it because that child is a danger to the school. Suspension should be in school.
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| Posted 5/15/18 11:31 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by CookiePuss
Can I ask, how do you know the aide did nothing to intervene? It's seems as if Boy A and Boy B have a friendship of sorts. They play together on the playground and Boy A was willing to lie so Boy B wouldn't get in trouble. Is it at all possible that Boy B is seeing things skewed? If he was being bullied relentlessly and crying - when was this and how was it addressed? I don't think the 2 incidents are dependent on each other although they may influence the hitting incident. 9 years olds are not a great source or reliable information - not because they lie but because 9 years olds don't have great perception to things that go on around them. Is it possible that Boy A is not bullying; but teasing. I know my own 9 year old will come home and tell me no one plays with him. He believe this to be true but if I let him talk further - it's is so far from no one playing with him. He says that because he only got to pitch once in kickball when he wanted to pitch the whole time.
As for supporting suspension...I don't believe that suspension should take place out of school unless it because that child is a danger to the school. Suspension should be in school.
This was one of the first times that Boy A actually teased my son. Typically it is one other kid that starts the teasing and everyone else joins in. It is always over him being a crybaby. My son is definitely not an accurate source of information but I believe him when he says that he has told the aide at least three times. Either way, glad it's over... for now anyway.
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| Posted 5/15/18 12:01 PM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by lululu
Posted by itsagoodlife
Posted by lululu
Can I also ask those that support suspension of a 9 year old, what do you think that the suspension accomplishes? 9 year old boys would take a day off over going to school any day. Isn’t there a more appropriate punishment?
I actually worked with the school and he had a three hour time out today during which time he had to do the class work he was missing, meet with the vice principal as well as the school social worker and a counselor. Then all the boys involved met with the recess aide to discuss how to handle things better on the playground and they all have to take a week off from that sport this week. I feel like that accomplishes a hell of a lot more than a suspension at this age level.
I’m a 3rd grade teacher.
A suspension teaches 9 year olds that violence won’t be tolerated. I agree that the child who teased him should also be punished, but violence is NEVER to be tolerated. Peer counseling for both boys. But I stand by my support of suspension. If he’s not punished, and sternly, he learns it ok to solve problems with fists.
Also just curious since you are a teacher, do you think that there should be any consequences for the aide who my son went to THREE times to try to get the kids to stop teasing him but did nothing? I actually like this aide very much and don’t want her to get in trouble but I think after the second time she should have escalated the problem and made someone aware that my son was being teased/bullied relentlessly for crying and was seeking adult intervention to make it stop.
I am not sure why you think that the lunch aide needs to be reprimanded. She is there to ensure the safety of the children as they are playing. If an incident arises when a child is crying on the playground "so and so was mean to me" 9 times out of 10, its easily resolved right there and then. "Leave him/her alone... go play somewhere else" or the child is told to sit out for a bit. These are very young children. Kids will call ANYTHING "bullying" these days. If someone tells them that they do not like their shirt "She is bullying me!" its non-stop. The majority of the times its kids being kids and they tease each other sometimes. It is all part of them learning and growing. Also, if the aide sees your boy playing with these kids often, then I am SURE she thinks they are all friends and that they are just doing what kids do.
Check out this link, and if you truly feel that this is a bullying case, then I highly suggest that you call your schools DASA coordinator and have them open up an investigation. https://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/index.html
True bullying NEEDS to be addressed immediately. If you feel he is in danger, you need to address it with the school right away.
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| Posted 5/15/18 3:18 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Appropriate school punishment
Posted by itsagoodlife
I am not sure why you think that the lunch aide needs to be reprimanded. She is there to ensure the safety of the children as they are playing. If an incident arises when a child is crying on the playground "so and so was mean to me" 9 times out of 10, its easily resolved right there and then. "Leave him/her alone... go play somewhere else" or the child is told to sit out for a bit. These are very young children. Kids will call ANYTHING "bullying" these days. If someone tells them that they do not like their shirt "She is bullying me!" its non-stop. The majority of the times its kids being kids and they tease each other sometimes. It is all part of them learning and growing. Also, if the aide sees your boy playing with these kids often, then I am SURE she thinks they are all friends and that they are just doing what kids do.
Check out this link, and if you truly feel that this is a bullying case, then I highly suggest that you call your schools DASA coordinator and have them open up an investigation. https://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/index.html
True bullying NEEDS to be addressed immediately. If you feel he is in danger, you need to address it with the school right away.
I agree with you and I don't really think he was getting bullied in the true sense of bullying but I guess I also don't think that hitting someone on the side with an open hand who is teasing you is so serious that it warrants a full day out of school suspension FOR A 9 YEAR OLD. Especially when it is the first offense of a child who has never ever been in trouble before for anything. I also think it's kids being kids and it's a learning experience. Believe me my son learned his lesson with the punishment he received (I never said he shouldn't be punished at all), he and the other kid are best buds again and played the past two days at recess and lunch. I just think a full day suspension doesn't really accomplish anything at this age. We will have to agree to disagree on this.
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| Posted 5/15/18 8:13 PM |
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