Baby shower Drama-need advice

So I just got off the phone with my mother. I asked her what was going on with the shower, and if she wanted help planning it since she lives out of town. She said she has been thinking about it, and thinks that a baby shower is too much and I should not be asking people for more gifts, especially since I got married a year ago. She asked if instead of a shower she could just give me a $1000 towards my baby stuff. It is a generous offer, but this is my first baby. I feel like I am only going to do this once I wanted to celebrate. She said it is my choice but that she will not be inviting any of her friends to the shower because she sees it as being greedy. Which is fine. I don't really care if her friends come. I guess I just feel bad and now I am starting to think that I am going to be seen as greedy if I decide I want the shower. Am I being crazy and hormonal over this?

We can't do it at someones house, and the shower will be in October so we can't do it outside. Does anyone have any other suggestions as to where I can have an inexpensive shower for about 50 people?

Re: Baby shower Drama-need advice

My son was also born around my 1 yr anniversary. I also felt a little bad having my baby shower a year after my wedding shower and wedding. But everyone was so generous and nobody questioned it or made me feel like we were greedy. People love to celebrate a baby!! and it was my DH (who is catholic and whose family are BIG on parties) who ended up throwing it for me, since I am Jewish and my mom doesn't believe in throwing them. I say go ahead with it, maybe your DH can help if your mom is to uncomfortable

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i dont think its being greedy at all... i had my bridal shower 04/08 then my wedding 06/08 and then my baby shower 05/09 people understand i think when its the frist baby!

i would want a shower too!

and i would look into a VFW hall or fire house its very affordable

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That is an idea about DH. I don't want to ask my friends, well because it is strange to ask friends to do that. I never thought my mom was going to act like this.

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Well i am from the North Shore, so I would prefer Nassau County. I am not all that picky though.

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Lol. You sound like me. Glen Cove, Sea Cliff, Glen Head, Roslyn. Other places I would not mind going to, Mineola, Garden City, Oysterbay, Bayville.

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Re: Baby shower Drama-need advice

Posted by Meggo613

Posted by katiebug

Lol. You sound like me. Glen Cove, Sea Cliff, Glen Head, Roslyn. Other places I would not mind going to, Mineola, Garden City, Oysterbay, Bayville.

VFW link

this is the link to the directory scroll down and on the righ of the chart tells you the town its located in... and if you select the one you want it should come up with a way to contact that specific "chapter" its just a hall rental so you would have to get a caterer and decortaions and stuff.. but its DEF. cheaper then going to a resturant.

and also if you have any connections to a fire house thats just as good!

usually its just a flat fee for the hall rental. i know our fire house is 250 for unlimited time use that day and includes unlimited soda.

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no prob. good luck! we has my shower at our local fire house and will be using it again for the babys christening because its just so affordable!

and ask around for a caterer... i wouldnt recommend using a resturant they tend to charge more.. find someone who does just catering as side business... And or.. cook it yourself but 50 people is alot to feed!

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I don't have any fire house connections. I figure if my husband does throw it for me, we can do a brunch type thing and get fruit, heroes and mimosa's. I just need the place to host the thing at.

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I don't think that is Greedy @ all!!!!!!!!!!

I agree w/ others, people LOVE to celebrate babies....and besides these are 2 wonderful things (wedding and baby) so people should feel blessed to be able to share that w/ you....thank god they are wonderful things...

I think the VFW is a nice idea, I have no idea of places and especially prices.

We are still debating, I am Jewish, DH is Catholic, my family does not particiapte in showers but his family may want to throw one, we shall see....

Re: Baby shower Drama-need advice

Posted by Meggo613

no prob. good luck! we has my shower at our local fire house and will be using it again for the babys christening because its just so affordable!

and ask around for a caterer... i wouldnt recommend using a resturant they tend to charge more.. find someone who does just catering as side business... And or.. cook it yourself but 50 people is alot to feed!

Re: Baby shower Drama-need advice

Posted by katiebug

Posted by Meggo613

no prob. good luck! we has my shower at our local fire house and will be using it again for the babys christening because its just so affordable!

and ask around for a caterer... i wouldnt recommend using a resturant they tend to charge more.. find someone who does just catering as side business... And or.. cook it yourself but 50 people is alot to feed!

Do all fire houses do this? or is this a special connection you have?

Re: Baby shower Drama-need advice

Posted by Meggo613

Posted by katiebug

Posted by Meggo613

no prob. good luck! we has my shower at our local fire house and will be using it again for the babys christening because its just so affordable!

and ask around for a caterer... i wouldnt recommend using a resturant they tend to charge more.. find someone who does just catering as side business... And or.. cook it yourself but 50 people is alot to feed!

Do all fire houses do this? or is this a special connection you have?

i ddont know about any other fire house but ours its a package and you have to be a member but ours is named after my grandpa in law so we use it all the time. but most fire houses are very affordable. i would call your local one and see if you can rent... most wont turn away the money!

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I will be married a year in August so i also feel kind of bad but sooooo many people (before i got pregnant) would ask if we were going to have a baby and make comments about it so I think most people expect or at least are very happy for you if you have a baby the first year you are married...so I definitely don't think u are being greedy by wanting a shower and Im sure most people will not feel that way!

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I was married in Sept. 2007 and had my DD in Oct. 2008. No one said a thing about being greedy! It's a total different event! I would definitely want to celebrate your little bundle as well!

Similar to a VFW hall is a KofC- also known as a Knights of Columbus Hall. They are very reasonable and there is a really lovely on in New Hyde Park. NHP KofC Also, in Roslyn is the George Washington Manor, which is where I had my wedding and is super reasonable. The food is great, the staff is friendly and fabulous and the building is beautiful. George Washington Manor Good luck!!

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You are NOT being greedy at all-every mom-to-be wants to share her excitement with others and shower is a time honored tradition.

I say go for it.

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I feel the same way. I feel a little selfish myself, my baby will be born 9 months after my wedding

My bridal shower was 3/09, I got married the end of 4/09 and since I'm due 1/10 my baby shower will probably be in Nov before the holidays. This is all within a year too, my mother hasnt said anything other than she thinks I should help plan, I think its only bc she cant handle another surprise.

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Posted by bayla

My son was also born around my 1 yr anniversary. I also felt a little bad having my baby shower a year after my wedding shower and wedding. But everyone was so generous and nobody questioned it or made me feel like we were greedy. People love to celebrate a baby!! and it was my DH (who is catholic and whose family are BIG on parties) who ended up throwing it for me, since I am Jewish and my mom doesn't believe in throwing them. I say go ahead with it, maybe your DH can help if your mom is to uncomfortable

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Try Wall's Wharf in Bayville. My bridal shower was there and they were very reasonable and extremely accommodating. While I did not plan it, as far as I know there was no site fee and they just charged for food. You would get a lovely view of the sound and since it is October not a busy season.

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Thanks Ladies!