Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

I'm not saying nothing was wrong with what happened, I was just saying that it doesn't make her a bad person -- it was just a bad situation. I was just saying that sometimes we as humans cannot control our innate urges and that she shouldn't feel guilty over being attracted to someone else. She is human. I also think that under any other circumstance, her dh would not have reacted the way that he did. He was drinking and his best friend was moving in on his wife- --- hello! Of course he got a little out of control. I'm sure she would have too. I'm not condoning violence or his actions ... I'm just trying to put everything into perspective and put myself in both of their shoes.

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

I also have to say I agree with Donna on the double-standard thing but I'm not posting anymore on this issue because my initial post was to offer my perspective on the situation to help the poster; not to debate this with other posters.

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

im sorry you put it out there, it is going to be debated.....

not saying the girl is a bad person but it seems to be that the attraction is a little more intense than a typical I think my husbands friend is cute...it will be afuture problem especially since she said her DH is keeping his friend in his life....

she even said she doesnt know whether to hit him or kiss him after everything that has happened???

And I am sorry, NO HANDS should be put onto anyone, whether it be male or female... one time is too many..... I cant bellieve anyone would justify it!!

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

i think that people are judging both parties WAYYYYY too much without being there to witness it first hand.
no one knows what REALLY happened..... so why are we arguing over who was in the right or wrong?

jmo

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

Based on what you said I think that

A. The respect portion of your relationship has been lost, and that is a very bad sign. If I had a crush on dh's friend I would never, ever tell him about it. YOu have both disrespected each other. He by laying his hands on you & you by telling him how you feel about his friend. HIs friend(if we can call him that) has no respect for your relationship. I'm sure he knew what he was doing, he knows you all had been drinking & stayed up with you all night. That IMO is NOT what friends do. I think the best thing do for all involved is to put an end to that so called friendship and for you & DH to get counseling. Once the trust & respect are broken in a relationship, it can bring on more hardships. Again, I encourage you & DH to seek the proper form of counseling. This may be the start of domestic abuse.

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

now that this thread has been bumped back to page one.......................



saying that just because you're married doesn't mean you can't find someone attractive and want to be with them...???? - YES - it does!! it's called MARRIAGE VOWS!!! so you can find someone attractive - but to want to be with them?? well, if that's the case, then marriage shouldnt come into play. and imo, the OP did break her vows by her actions and feelings for this other man. totally wrong.

having a man push a woman, then grab her by the neck - IS A BIG DEAL!!! and should NEVER happen. I don't care what the circumstances are! if his anger can't be controlled, and he can't see how WRONG he was for reacting the way he did, then there is a problem that needs to be addressed!!!

couple all of these things with the fact that the DH won't cut ties with this so-called friend, says VOLUMES about him, and this "marriage"......

and speaking from experience, i wholeheartedly agree with sonia where she wrote that this may be the start of domestic abuse......what's next? what will it take for him to become so angered to want to push her, or grab her by the neck again?? will she (the op) ever act upon those feelings for the "friend"? will they (the op & her dh) ever be able to trust each other again?? who knows. all i know is that some serious counseling is needed in this relationship, and fast.

to the OP, i wish you nothing but the best.


edited for typo

Message edited 5/2/2006 4:29:10 PM.

Re: bad - long confession - update on page 2

Message edited 5/2/2006 7:38:30 PM.