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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Bizarre conversation about gender selection
I was at my cousins bridal shower and the topic of conversation at our table with my family was me having 2 boys and how I HAVE to have a girl  So sick of hearing about this.
I said that IF we decide to have a 3rd child I am expecting another boy. My aunt than said "you should go to a specialist and have the sperm wash done or microsort." She then told me someone at her job did it. I told her I've heard of it but wasn't particularly comfortable with the idea...I feel like it could be bad karma (maybe I'll get a girl but what if she has a disability or something because I was being vain, KWIM?)
Anyway she says "Who cares? Nothing is going to happen." Then someone at the table made the comparison with people who go to fertility clinis to conceive...why is it ok to "play god" to conceive a child but not ok to choose the sex of your child. I was 
I posted about gender selection a few months ago because I didnt even know people did this. Now certain family members keep mentioning it to me. There are plenty of girls in my family. Why does one think you NEED to have a girl to make a complete family??? 
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Posted 8/30/10 9:56 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Jan1975
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Member since 8/09 3846 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Family members need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves!
With that said, if I had like 4 boys (or 4 girls for that matter) MAYBE I would consider gender selection, but probably not.
It is a pretty amazing medical marvel but I am a bit hesitant about stuff like that.
Also, IMO gender selection is COMPLETELY different that fertility treatments!!!
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:01 PM |
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Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel
Member since 10/09 5911 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
I had always wanted a little girl and was Team Green during my pregnancy. I ended up having a little boy and would not have it any other way. It's so insensitive of people to say that to you....as if your family isn't complete unless you have a DD??? That gets me so mad!
As far as the gender selection goes, I agree with you about the bad karma and not being comfortable with it. Going to a fertility clinic to conceive and gender selection are not comparable IMO. What's next, selecting your child's hair color? Eye color? Just doesn't seem right to me 
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:06 PM |
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jmf423
:)
Member since 5/05 6372 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Wow......gender selection and infertility treatment are waaaaay different in my mind.
When I was pregnant I really thought I was having 2 boys.....so anybody I told that too right away asked when we were going to try for a girl....while I was pregnant!!
I ended up with 2 boys and a girl, but I can say with 100% honesty that had I been blessed with 3 boys I would never go for gender selection for a 4th. Just not for me.
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:06 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Posted by jmf423
Wow......gender selection and infertility treatment are waaaaay different in my mind.
When I was pregnant I really thought I was having 2 boys.....so anybody I told that too right away asked when we were going to try for a girl....while I was pregnant!!
I ended up with 2 boys and a girl, but I can say with 100% honesty that had I been blessed with 3 boys I would never go for gender selection for a 4th. Just not for me.
I am so SICK and tired of people making comments about me having two boys.
I went to Lowes the other day with the boys and even the cashier said to me "No girls???? Gotta go for the girl."
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:10 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
The next time someone says something that obnoxious I would retort with PMS for one is quite enough thank you.
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:14 PM |
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jmf423
:)
Member since 5/05 6372 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
People are crazy!!!!
Before having my DD I always pictured myself as a mom of boys.
People need to mind their business!!! Didn't they ever hear of being thankful for the 2 healthy kids you have?
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:14 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by jellybean1420
I am so SICK and tired of people making comments about me having two boys.
I went to Lowes the other day with the boys and even the cashier said to me "No girls???? Gotta go for the girl."
The next time someone says something that obnoxious I would retort with PMS for one is quite enough thank you.
Ooohhh...I like that 
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:15 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
People just need to learn how to keep their mouths shut.
I always hate it when people say to me "Oh a boy and a girl - instant family"
Like if I'd had 2 boys or 2 girls I wouldn't have a family?
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:19 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
I get this too. I'm not sure why anyone presumes I'm not over the moon with my SONS!
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:19 PM |
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Metsmomma
Happy Winter!
Member since 1/09 5351 total posts
Name:
Renee
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
when i was preggers with my twins i heard this all the time and i would always say " i don't care what they are as long as they're healthy" and i truly meant that. and then they would always say oh you have to have a girl. ugh!!! who are people to say what you have to have!!!! people are so annoying and don't keep their mouth shut!
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| Posted 8/30/10 10:39 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
You know how crazy this makes me, that I'm already dreading if I do get pregnant again I will have to hear "hopefully it's a girl" - If I don't care - WHY do you care?
I was just at an engagement party last weekend. The groom is one of 5 boys. These boys are all good looking, tall, and were so cute with their mother. I told DH that I now want FIVE boys 
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:15 AM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Posted by Diana1215
I was just at an engagement party last weekend. The groom is one of 5 boys. These boys are all good looking, tall, and were so cute with their mother. I told DH that I now want FIVE boys
 And what was DH's response????
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:25 AM |
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skinny
3 boys and a princess!
Member since 11/08 8178 total posts
Name:
Momma
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
One woman told me she felt BAD for me bc I had 2 boys. "Oh, that's so terrible. Too bad you didn't have one of each. What a disappointment!" I told her to f-off and that I wouldn't trade either of my boys for anyone else in the world.
Honestly, I'd luv a little girl too. If it happens, it happens. I wouldn't do gender selection to make it happen. IVf and gender selection are wayyyyy different IMO.
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:25 AM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
I have to tell you, the aunt's response to that makes me CRAZY. How dare someone compare SELECTING A GENDER to NOT BEING ABLE TO CONCEIVE. I had IVF. I didn't CHOOSE to have IVF and didn't choose to have fertility issues. I WISH I would have had my son naturally, but I guess God had other things in mind for me, so I guess my doctor needed to "play God" in my case.
To each their own regarding gender selection, but I kind of think, unless you have a disease that genetically affects one gender over another, who cares what gender you have? Happy and healthy all the way 
And I love that you have 2 boys. My DH has 3 boys and couldn't be happier (we have a son together and he has 2 sons from a previous marriage).
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:29 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
I think I had answered on your thread.
I would have concidered it. DH was not sure he wanted. Our Dr even mentioned it to us. The risk of PDD is lower in girls than boys so our risk would have been "lower" to have another child with special needs.
It was really originally intented for specific people in mind. A family with 5 girls and not a boy to carry the family name if it was very important to the family. Not everybody was eligible.
Now, it seems main stream.
I don't see a problem with it! I could see a problem with altering the stats of boys vs. girls numbers as a whole and affecting our population.
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:30 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
I would by lying if I said that I did not want to have the experience of raising a girl, especially since my DH really wants one. But my life would not be any less complete if I have all boys. Either way I would consider myself blessed.
I have three older brothers and almost ALL boy cousins. All the boys in my family adore their mothers. I think having a son is the greatest joy in my life.
ETS: I do no agree with gender selection, but I do plan on trying some old wives tales when I TTC for number 2, just for fun. If I get a girl out of it wonderful, if not I will be just has happy and thankful.
Message edited 8/31/2010 8:38:17 AM.
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:31 AM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Posted by LaurenExp
I have to tell you, the aunt's response to that makes me CRAZY. How dare someone compare SELECTING A GENDER to NOT BEING ABLE TO CONCEIVE. I had IVF. I didn't CHOOSE to have IVF and didn't choose to have fertility issues. I WISH I would have had my son naturally, but I guess God had other things in mind for me, so I guess my doctor needed to "play God" in my case.
My aunt is not the one who made the comparison, it was someone else at the table. My aunt actually had fertility issues when she was trying to get pregnant years ago. That's why I was shocked when the other woman at the table said it...I felt like telling her to insert her foot in her mouth.
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:43 AM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Posted by jellybean1420
Posted by LaurenExp
I have to tell you, the aunt's response to that makes me CRAZY. How dare someone compare SELECTING A GENDER to NOT BEING ABLE TO CONCEIVE. I had IVF. I didn't CHOOSE to have IVF and didn't choose to have fertility issues. I WISH I would have had my son naturally, but I guess God had other things in mind for me, so I guess my doctor needed to "play God" in my case.
My aunt is not the one who made the comparison, it was someone else at the table. My aunt actually had fertility issues when she was trying to get pregnant years ago. That's why I was shocked when the other woman at the table said it...I felt like telling her to insert her foot in her mouth.
Glad to hear it wasn't your family member
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:44 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
I only have one DD and I have everyone around me saying- 'gotta go for that boy!'. I would love to have more girls. OR boys. People are annoying.
As for the IVF and gender selection being comparable...I guess for many people it may seem that way, but I still take much offense to it. I completely agree with Lauren. I didn't choose to have fertility issues.
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:44 AM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Posted by JennyPenny
I only have one DD and I have everyone around me saying- 'gotta go for that boy!'. I would love to have more girls. OR boys. People are annoying.
As for the IVF and gender selection being comparable...I guess for many people it may seem that way, but I still take much offense to it. I completely agree with Lauren. I didn't choose to have fertility issues.
Same here...
With that said, with my last pregnancy we decided to do microarray testing (a different form of PGD where they can test ALL the chorosomes) on our remaining embryos before moving forward with trying to get pregnant again. We wanted to maximize our chances of getting pregnant. We had 6 embryos. My husband and I decided IF anymore than 2 embryos were viable we would NOT ask about gender because we didn't want to feel like we were picking and choosing which gender to transfer back. As it was, only 2 were viable and since we were transferring 2 back, we decided to find out the gender before the transfer.
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:52 AM |
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mamallama
<3 <3 <3
Member since 9/07 5035 total posts
Name:
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
I always thought i'd have girls....3 boys later I now am a total boy mommy....would I change it? never.
To see my DH interact with his sons, and to know that I gave him that makes my heart melt. And the way they love me and come to Mommy just to cuddle is an amazing feeling. They don't do that with DH.
I would LOVE a girl...for all the pink and cute clothes.
But I am so content with my sons and I want more children no matter what gender they are. If I get my girl i'll be happy to dress her up but if I have more boys I won't be any less happy.
I was sad when my 3rd was a boy but the instant he was born I couldn't even understand how I was ever sad in the beginning of finding out he was a boy. It just was insane to me that I ever felt that way.
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| Posted 8/31/10 8:58 AM |
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
UNREAL!
I have 2 boys and I hear the same crap all the time. I think I would also hear it if we had 2 girls and then everyone would want a boy
screw these people....they sux....babies are blessings no matter what gender
and I agree I would NEVER mess with nature and gender selection....its in Gods hands....not ours
Give me another boy...they are cheaper to clothe anyway
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:04 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Hmmmm - I don't know if I agree - but I CAN see why someone would make that argument/comparison.
If you're argument against doing it is b/c it's 'unnatural' and you 'should be happy with God gives you' or any version of that .......
well, then, I can understand why someone would make the argument that having medical and scientific help to conceive is not 'natural' either .........
I think it's kind of a snarky response, that I'm sure could offend more than one person at a table - but it IS a legitimate argument.
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:11 AM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Bizarre conversation about gender selection
Wow..that is really just rude and no one elses business but your own. Holy crap..
I said i always wanted a girl first and then a boy, like how me and my brother were. When i got pregnant, for some reason, I just knew it was going to be a boy. Dont know why, and sure enough..it was. I wouldnt trade DS for anything and Im so happy I had a boy. I wouldnt care next time around if it were another boy.
going for help to get pregnant and choosing the sex of your baby are 2 entirely different things.
wow..just wow..im stunned at their rudeness.
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:15 AM |
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