christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

so DH and i are planning DD christening.. yes i know laugh away shes not even here yet.. but the thing is its for a month after her DD and i know the struggles with a newborn i will not want to plan it then so im doing just about everything now.

I've priced resturants and am shocked at the expense. so we've decided to use our local fire house since FIL is an active member but heres the thing...

doing the bare minimum people its 103 we only really expect between 75-80 to show up. and with all the expenses it will be about 3000 to have this party our prents are giving us 300 each so we have 600 from our parents.

but heres my issue. i dont want to spend the money since we are trying to move and buy a town house. DH is mad at me for even thinking about not doing anything for our FRIST childs Christening. dont get me wrong im not happy about doing nothing but i just cant come to terms with spending that much money for a party she will never remember.

i dont want to blow off his opinion but i just feel like im right about this, this time. if we were better off financially i would be ok with it. but DH just started a new job, im out of work were trying to move. it just doesnt seem to be the time to spend the money. we have it but its our savings.

Would you spend it? or not?

we CAN NOT just do the god parents and grand parents and great grandparents... we can on my side but not on DH. so thats not an option.

Thanks for any advice im open to it all!

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

I know exactly how you feel.....we have the same problem.
We finally decided to have it at our house and have it catered by a company that's under $1000 for 100 people. I'm estimating it's going to cost about $2K that way....not great, but not as bad. And it's only costing that much cuz we are renting a tent and tables ( I want to enjoy the day).
Can you have it at one of your parents house? Or can you just do cake and coffee in the Church parish center?

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

thanks gerty.. if we did it at one of our parents homes it would be the same exact price as if we did it at the fire house. (sounds unbelievable but its the truth) beause like you we would need to rent a tent and tables and chairs. and we only have 2 pottys. where at the fire house theres like 10

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

For me the house would come first b/c my DC is part of that and it involves her welfare.

I'm the wrong perosn to comment b/c I NEVER have big parties. It' snot my thing. I totally baptize my DC but I don't throw a big party. We do something but it's quiet and w/ a min amoutn of guests.

I know min amount of guests is not your option but for me, the house would come first rather than a party.

Your other option is to put the $ you took out back in and make a firm commitment to reimburse your DC's account at a later time (after the house).

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

is there a school associated with your church? If so, you could ask if you could use it for a desserts only party.

or

could you have an open house at one of your parents houses? no set time people can come and go, and have very basic refreshments? 2 bathrooms isn't a big deal. We've had parties at MIL's house for 120 people and 2 bathrooms. Wasn't a problem at all.

or

third choice is a maybe do a picnic type party at a local park.

we are in the same boat and I'm entertaining of not doing anything huge either. DH's family is very large and it seems like so much $.

(also you can keep in mind, if you spend X amt on the party you can use the gifts to reimburse your wallets for the time being and when you have extra in the future put that away for your child.)

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

see DH said the same thing you ladies said about taking the gifts to reemburse us for the cost of the party and then pay her back afer the purchasse of the house. and im ok with this because i know we are disciplined enough to do it. i just hate parting with hard earned money for a big shindig. who knows but i really do appreciate hearing all sides!!

DH says that this party will not hinder us buying our home but i just would hate to be 1500 short for something with the house and now have the back up because of this party.. i know im a worry wort!

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

If it were me, I'd throw a desserts-only party afterwards to keep costs down.

You can either do it at the Firehouse, or even if the church has a party room or school. Just serve coffee, tea, milk (for the kids), a large cake, maybe some cookies or pastries. Keep it simple and short. No need for entertainment or a DJ.

I'm not a fan of huge christenning parties to begin with, but if I had a minimum of 100 people, I would think this is the only way to cut costs but still throw a party.

Good Luck

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Posted by HomeIsWithU

If it were me, I'd throw a desserts-only party afterwards to keep costs down.

You can either do it at the Firehouse, or even if the church has a party room or school. Just serve coffee, tea, milk (for the kids), a large cake, maybe some cookies or pastries. Keep it simple and short. No need for entertainment or a DJ.

I'm not a fan of huge christenning parties to begin with, but if I had a minimum of 100 people, I would think this is the only way to cut costs but still throw a party.

Good Luck

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

anyway you can cut your list?

I'm not a fan of big christening parties either.....have you thought about just immediate family and godparents? at a restaurant for just dinner?

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Posted by DPerotti

anyway you can cut your list?

I'm not a fan of big christening parties either.....have you thought about just immediate family and godparents? at a restaurant for just dinner?

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Posted by Meggo613

Posted by DPerotti

anyway you can cut your list?

I'm not a fan of big christening parties either.....have you thought about just immediate family and godparents? at a restaurant for just dinner?

immediate family i can narrow down to 20 people total which is fine with me.. but its innappropriate on DHs side to do so.. and then the immediate family list goes up to 56 and well i cant have all his faamily and not mine thats not fair. so its becoming a battle of whos right and whos wrong

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Posted by DPerotti

Posted by Meggo613

Posted by DPerotti

anyway you can cut your list?

I'm not a fan of big christening parties either.....have you thought about just immediate family and godparents? at a restaurant for just dinner?

immediate family i can narrow down to 20 people total which is fine with me.. but its innappropriate on DHs side to do so.. and then the immediate family list goes up to 56 and well i cant have all his faamily and not mine thats not fair. so its becoming a battle of whos right and whos wrong

Oye! I can see your dilema. At the same time I couldn't imagine not having a gathering for a christening. I like the dessert party idea...but I guess that depends on the time of the christening!

The firehouse doesn't have table and chairs? Usually they do...If not, Do you know anyone you can borrow from?
I know my inlaws neighbors bought tables and chairs. Ask around, you never know.
You aren't having entertainment, right? No need for it if you are.
What about catering...if you had a BBQ catering instead is that cheaper (hot dog, hamburgers)? (I don't know what you are catering) OR what if you, your Mom, Your MIL made dishes instead of catering....

Trying to help...

I know for my nephews first birthday my sister, mom, her MIL and a few other people made dishes so my sister didn't have to cater, it worked out great.

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Message edited 6/19/2009 1:49:53 PM.

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Posted by DPerotti

Posted by Meggo613


thanks for the help i really appreciate it!!!

the firehouse does have tables and chairs which is why im ok going there plus the $$ to rent the room includes beer wine and soda unlimited for everyone so its really a great deal. the food is less then 1000. so i dont think thats so bad. DH is insisting we need a DJ (i think we can easily do with out get an ipod and hook it up works for me) its all the little things like paper goods, favors, decorations, cake that adds up!

OK again JMHO...

I say cut out the DJ, put your foot down on that one and that should save you $1000 or less, not sure how much that is. No one is going to be dancing a lot at a christening party anyway.

The catering should supply paper goods, see if you can get them to if they aren't.

No need for favors, I've never been to a christening that had them.

decorations-- try getting little things from oriental trading, not expensive. Cut out balloons. Oriental Trading

Cake- there isn't a way around that unless of course you think you can make one....I myself would not be very good at that lol

HTH

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

wow, I cant imagine 100 @ a christening!

I probably wouldn't want to spend the money with buying a house.


I would explain to people you were keeping it small and just take godparents, grandparents out to lunch.


Then throw a huge 1st birthday party once you are in the house.

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

This may sound totally cheap and possibly illegal, but my mom "borrows" tables and chairs from costco whenever she has a lot of people over. She buys them and then returns them.
However, she never had over 100 people, so that might be too much of bother - I think she's done this for 25-30 people. Just 2 long tables and some chairs - but I thought I'd just put it out there. She swears costco lets you return anything.

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Do you have to have it a month after the baby is born? Why not wait a few months and save some more money in a Christening fund in the meantime?

We have friends who also have family cook things for their parties. They all chip in and help which I think is so nice. Can you have each family member (parents, siblings) make one dish that way you don't have to pay for catering? Get a hero and call it a day?

You do not need a DJ. Bottom line. He has to give in on that one.

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

can you just do a cake and coffee kinda thing with everyone so no one is left out? get a bunch of different things to snack on and maybe some different kinds of coffee. i think this would cut your price more then in half??

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Never too early to plan, our family Baptizes straight away We aren't one for large parties too much fuss for a few hours... We kept it simple, The Folks, Siblings and their kids (nieces - nephews) back at the house. Plain and simple, nice dinner dessert and good time

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

Could you buy pasta and sauce in bulk from costco and serve it with salad, apps and a sheet cake from them too that way it would cut down on a caterer? I think if you did that food would cost about $500. I think you could just do costco food and plain plates. Eliminate the DJ. Just to some colorful streamers for the walls. You can do plain balloons as CPs or a flower pot or nothing at all. Check if the glasses and napkins are provided from the hall.

Re: christening question...WWYD? kinda long!

I totally feel your pain b/c I am jewish and DH is Catholic and we will be doing a baptism. I would only have a few people from my side but he has alot of family...We would prob. be inviting around 70 or so I would think, we won't have the $ either to do a big party and we have a house but it is not big enough to fit that many people unless we wait till the spring, baby is due Oct 2 and have it outside ....no clue either, so hard!