CIO not working! Help!

So I don't know what to do anymore. DD is 16 months next week & has not sttn since last year! Even then it lasted a month if that. She use to go down around 7 & wake up at 1, then bf & go back down til 4, up again bf sleep til 6. That was a good night. Now it is taking me 2 hours to get her to go down then she is up again within an hour or two. Tonight I didnt get her down until almost 9! Then she was up at 11:30 & I cant get her back down. My ped who we saw last week said her ears were fine. She also said let her cio for up to 2 hours. Well tonight she had motrin so after trying to get her down again once she woke up I let her cio. I had nursed her & rocked her. When I put her down she stood up & cried for 2 hours!!! I am starting to worry something is wrong w/ her. She refuses to nap also. If I try she will cio for an hour & not take the nap. I am in with her again now. I gave more motrin, changed her diaper, & am nursing now. The sleep deprivation is killing me. I feel so run down. I thought I wad getting sick but dh mentioned my body just cant handle it anymore. What do you do when cio doesnt work?! It always worked for us. Now that she can stand in the crib it doesnt. I mean two hours! That is nuts. She stood & screamed, then cried, then was quiet, the cried more. I would love any advice. Please help. DH gets up for work at 3:45 so he cant really help. When he does go in she gets ****** cause she wants me & the boob. Is this a symptom of something serious?

Re: CIO not working! Help!

IMO you have to stop nursing her. She doesn't need it. She's using you as a pacifier for comfort. CIO means you do not go in there (unless doing intervals). You are to not put her to sleep, she is to put herself to sleep. Read a book, sing a song, do not nurse. Then you put her down give her a kiss and leave the room. It sounds cruel, but they don't remember this and they really need to teach themselves the skill of soothing themselves to sleep. GL!

Re: CIO not working! Help!

I just wanted to give you some b/c I know its one of the hardest things ever. I know your heart must be breaking. I had the hardest time with #1 b/c I basically coslept. #2 was just amazing and almost never woke up. My daughter now is giving me trouble. For her first year it was normal. Actually pretty awersome. Id lay her in bed and she would wave to me and Id shut the door! Now she will NOT go to sleep without me laying in bed next to her. I keep trying the cry it out but she gets up, goes to her door, shakes her gate and SCREAMS. I have 2 boys across the hall I want to sleep too! So its hard. Im afraid my daughter just knows now - I need to scream to a certain amount of time and then mommy will come. I am so tired! She also wakes up multiple times every night and cries. Of course I dont want anyone else waking up so I go to her. I know what Im doing is wrong. So again, I feel for you.

Message edited 8/8/2011 8:08:49 AM.

Re: CIO not working! Help!

at 16 months, it is you she wants. there is nothing wrong with her, she has grown to need you to sleep.

she doesnt need to BF at 16 months, she should be able to STTN. It is hard, REALLY hard, but you cannot go in there to soothe or BF. She needs to learn to soothe herself, she is using you to soothe now.

Does she take a paci or a lovey? Once you put her down, that is it. No going in to rock or calm her because that just makes it worse. It is teaching her that crying will bring you to her. The first few nights will be hell but you just have to let her cry

Do your normal bedtime routine and tell her you love her, put her down. If you have a video monitor, turn the sound off (you will hear her without it ) and let her cry. It is best for all of you.

We did CIO with Jack at 6 months and have done it a few times since and IT WORKS! Be patient but it will work

Re: CIO not working! Help!

also, i wanted to add - the crying then stopping then crying is a GOOD sign! she is winding down. they cry and then stop to listen, trying to get our attention.

2 hours is normal in the beginning. As long as her diaper is changed, she is safe in the crib and she isnt in pain (from teething or an ear infection etc) but let her cry as long as it takes.

sometimes they will cause themselves to vomit or even have BMs from all the crying so don't freak if that happens all part of teaching her to soothe herself which is a VERY important skill for the rest of her life!

Re: CIO not working! Help!

I just went through this exact same thing with DS (14 mos) 2 weeks ago. He was fighting naps, fighting bedtime and I was going crazy!!! It literally would take me 2 hours sometimes to get him to sleep every night, and 1.5 hours for naps. I also BF and nurse to sleep for bedtime & naps, but I cosleep and don't do CIO. In my situation, DS was ready to drop a nap. My life has become pleasant again!!! Now, instead of two 45 minute naps, he take 1 nap about an hour long, sometimes 1.5hrs. He wakes up at 6:30, goes down for a nap around 10:30 or 11am, and bedtime at 6 or 6:30. Now he's tired enough to go to sleep from nursing and he's no longer fighting it. What is your DD's schedule? Maybe you should try dropping a nap and see if that helps? DS was really overtired from the lack of sleep, but after a few days of only 1 nap he was back to normal! Sorry I can't help with the nighttime weaning, I did a gentle weaning approach with my DS and he was night weaned in 3 days. Here's the link to what I did if you're interested (although it may not apply because you don't co-sleep):

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

Re: CIO not working! Help!

You would let her go longer than two hours? She was always the type of kid you couldnt go in to soothe. So full extinction cio for longer than two hours? I just dont think I can do that. Part of me thinks she doesnt know how to sit in the crib once she stands. She was a preemie so she is a little behind developmentally. Does that matter? I am going to do cio at bedtime tonight and see what happens. Last night I tried motn after I went in. Do you think she will sit down? If she doesnt should I go in & lay her down? Last night it looked like she was falling asleep standing up. I figured if she did I would go try lay her down. I just dont think she knows how to sit down.