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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Does anyone remember one about a grandma? I loved it and never can find it.
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Posted 2/19/08 3:00 PM  |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the TV.
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| Posted 2/19/08 3:01 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by hazeleyes33
Does anyone remember one about a grandma? I loved it and never can find it.
I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. "Get down!" yelled Uncle Lou. "Don't move!" screamed Grandma. But Grandpa wouldn't listen. He walked to the edge of the roof and stuck out his arms, like he was going to fly. I forget what happened after that.
This one's more about Grandpa, but it was the only one I could find that had Grandma in it....
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| Posted 2/19/08 3:03 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by hazeleyes33
Does anyone remember one about a grandma? I loved it and never can find it.
I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. "Get down!" yelled Uncle Lou. "Don't move!" screamed Grandma. But Grandpa wouldn't listen. He walked to the edge of the roof and stuck out his arms, like he was going to fly. I forget what happened after that.
This one's more about Grandpa, but it was the only one I could find that had Grandma in it....
That's not it but I like that one too!!
It was something like Grandma crossing the road...
so long ago I don't remember alot of it.
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| Posted 2/19/08 3:08 PM |
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MeNBobs
*****
Member since 4/07 3765 total posts
Name:
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
One thing I always felt bad about was kicking grandma in the head. But what was her head doing right by the football like that? And how did the football get in her bed?
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
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| Posted 2/19/08 3:13 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by MeNBobs
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first
instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she
fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
I think that was it!! It was soooo long ago (at least 15 or more years that I don't remember the exact wordage!!)
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| Posted 2/19/08 3:19 PM |
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aja
my princess
Member since 10/05 2936 total posts
Name:
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
yes I loved it..
I also love "Mr. Short Term Memory"
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| Posted 2/19/08 3:25 PM |
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ILJ619
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1985 total posts
Name:
Irene
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
these are hysterical! thank you! I used to love this part of the show and the voice opening with the springs made you think they were really inspirational!
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| Posted 2/19/08 4:41 PM |
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
My dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess thats why so many of us died from tuberculosis... 
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| Posted 2/19/08 6:52 PM |
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DirtyBlonde
*****
Member since 11/07 7344 total posts
Name:
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who make people happy, but inside he's real sad. Also, he has severe diarrhea.
Message edited 2/19/2008 7:06:37 PM.
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| Posted 2/19/08 7:05 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by ilt1221
these are hysterical! thank you! I used to love this part of the show and the voice opening with the springs made you think they were really inspirational!
Here's the official site, and it has the words scrolling, and him speaking the words... 
http://www.deepthoughtsbyjackhandey.com/
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| Posted 2/19/08 9:29 PM |
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skip123
Trying...
Member since 8/06 2759 total posts
Name:
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by DirtyBlonde
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
LMAO.. LOVE this one...it was my MySpace quote for the longest!!
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| Posted 2/19/08 9:39 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
In case anyone needs a laugh and likes jack handey bumping a way old post!! Enjoy!
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| Posted 10/10/11 9:31 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by maybebaby
In case anyone needs a laugh and likes jack handey bumping a way old post!! Enjoy!
Thank you. I needed the laugh tonight. I sitting here laughing my A$$$ off while DD is trying to fall asleep. I enjoyed this thread then and I am enjoying it just as much now.
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| Posted 10/10/11 10:27 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by Kara
My favorite:
"If you ever find yourself falling off the Empire State Building, just go limp, like a dummy, and maybe somebody will catch you because, hey, free dummy!"
ETA correct quote!
This was my favorite too!!
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| Posted 10/11/11 8:37 AM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by MeNBobs
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.
LOVE this one!
Thanks for bumping!!
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| Posted 10/11/11 9:17 AM |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
Posted by MeNBobs
"Kids love jokes. so one day i told my 7 year old nephew that i would take him to disney world. instead, i drove him to a burned out warehouse and said, "uh oh, disney world burned down." he cried and cried, but deep down i bet he thought it was pretty funny."
These are great! they made my morning!
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| Posted 10/11/11 9:23 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
I used to post 1 on my door every day for my students (my first year teaching HS)...they loved it LOL
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| Posted 10/11/11 11:00 AM |
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