| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: << 3 4 5 [6] |
rocket3499
LIF Infant
Member since 6/08 128 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Sensitive topic - grandparent saying things that make me uncomfortable and concerned
I'm CF but just wandered over and started reading. This made me sick to my stomach. I don't know what kind of relationship your or DH has with this creep, but it sounds like he shouldn't be around your child AT ALL.
edt: For super long quote :)
Message edited 3/23/2010 11:46:00 PM.
|
Posted 3/23/10 11:40 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
|
Re: Sensitive topic - grandparent saying things that make me uncomfortable and concerned
Totally weird and creepy! Gave me the chills.
Who says things like that??? 
|
| Posted 3/23/10 11:48 PM |
| |
|
CCMommy
EVERYTHING CHANGES
Member since 12/07 2528 total posts
Name:
CC's Mommy
|
Re: Sensitive topic - grandparent saying things that make me uncomfortable and concerned
Posted by nrthshgrl
One of DH's favorite things to do is to take a nap with the kids and when he says he's taking a nap & does anyone want to nap with him - well it's a sweet gesture. I think it's a very common thing with parents - napping with their children. I don't think twice about it, I'm not creeped out.
You are. Your instincts are telling you that something is off - and you need to go with it.
I totally agree with this.. while a lot of people have said that they would never let their DC nap with anyone.. I don't find it that odd.. in a NORMAL situation where you weren't having an "off" feeling.
DS and I live with my parents. DS will lay in bed with them.. sometimes take naps with either Nanny or Poppy if he's tired. Sometimes they will fall asleep while he just has some "down time" and watches a movie. If I am at work late, he will often lay in their bed watching a movie with them until I get home... sometimes falling asleep there, sometimes not.
My sister is a massage therapist and has given DS massages as an infant (which he LOVED)
But I feel totally normal about it.. and that's the difference. I trust these people.. so the thought that thats "weird" or "inappropriate" just isn't there.
The things that your FIL have said have put your guard up.. and I think in your situation it's not a matter of "is it ok to sleep in bed with someone other than mom or dad" .. it's an issue because your FIL is being CREEPY and making you feel uncomfortable..
I would definitely say something..
|
| Posted 3/24/10 12:16 AM |
| |
|
babycakes18
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 1281 total posts
Name:
Dani
|
Re: Sensitive topic - grandparent saying things that make me uncomfortable and concerned
Posted by CCMommy
I totally agree with this.. while a lot of people have said that they would never let their DC nap with anyone.. I don't find it that odd.. in a NORMAL situation where you weren't having an "off" feeling.
DS and I live with my parents. DS will lay in bed with them.. sometimes take naps with either Nanny or Poppy if he's tired. Sometimes they will fall asleep while he just has some "down time" and watches a movie. If I am at work late, he will often lay in their bed watching a movie with them until I get home... sometimes falling asleep there, sometimes not.
My sister is a massage therapist and has given DS massages as an infant (which he LOVED)
But I feel totally normal about it.. and that's the difference. I trust these people.. so the thought that thats "weird" or "inappropriate" just isn't there.
The things that your FIL have said have put your guard up.. and I think in your situation it's not a matter of "is it ok to sleep in bed with someone other than mom or dad" .. it's an issue because your FIL is being CREEPY and making you feel uncomfortable..
I would definitely say something..
I agree! My DD is only 3 months...but if my mom, dad, brother or MIL wanted to take a nap with her....I would not think its weird or creepy. The fact that you feel uncomfortable...you should definitely go with your instinct! Sorry you have to deal with this.
|
| Posted 3/24/10 12:46 AM |
| |
|
computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
|
Re: tku all
I agree with the previous post. My own dad has fallen asleep with my DS or DD many times! I would never think anything of it and find it endearing. Also I have seen other grandparents rub a grandchild's back, almost without thinking. Again I would think nothing of it under those circumstances.
But there is a huge difference between a grandparent falling asleep with a child while holding or rocking them, and a grandparent who is FIXATED on the fantasy of it. He brings it up again and again, he is absolutely fixated on this idea. This is what makes it alarming. And there's a huge difference between a grandparent rubbing a child's back to comfort them or just doing it instinctively without thinking, and ASKING to do it repeatedly.... almost fantasizing about it. It's making me feel sick and scared just thinking about this. 
|
| Posted 3/24/10 6:58 AM |
| |
|
brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
|
Re: tku all
I was reading this on the train last night and didn't get to finish....I hope you keep your DC away from him. The whole thing about being fixated on it, and along w/your other posts about "mommy pushed you" etc....it doesn't sit right at all, and if your gut is telling you something, listen to it. I think this is a case where you'd definitely rather err on the side of being extra safe. Sorry you have to deal with this though
|
| Posted 3/24/10 12:24 PM |
| |
|
MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: tku all
I am not sure if there are resources where you are, but I would maybe google around or if you have an EAP program through work & find a support group/therapist. Regardless of what is going on or not going on, you are obviously overwhelmed by it, and I cannot say that it will get better. I would hate that you end up in a position where you feel guilty or blame yourself if you have no choice but to cut ties with this man to protect your family. I think maybe speaking to a professional might be a good idea, even at this stage.
|
| Posted 3/24/10 12:30 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: << 3 4 5 [6] |
