Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Cailen is having issues with being put down to go to sleep in his bassinet. He is fine during the day because I put him in the swing and he likes the motion...

But after I feed him at night he howls in the bassinet until I take him out. DH thinks he already is spoiled and should cry a little if all his other needs are met, but he doesn't want to go thru the crying at night because then it keeps him up... and I don't want him crying hysterically at 3 weeks old...

Right now I'm on maternity leave so I can lounge around all day and take naps when he is sleeping (not that I ever get to it though) - but I am really worried about not sleeping at night and then having to go to work, so what I'm wondering is this.... is it bad if I go downstairs and put him in his swing at night and let him sleep in there? I know I will kill the batteries in a week, but if it means he will sleep, and I can at least catch some zzz's on the love seat, it would be worth it....

Has anyone else done this? Is it bad? Will it set any patterns for the future that I will never be able to break? I am just thinking about sleep right now...

I also find that he sleeps better if I just lay him in bed with me - something I VOWED I would never do!!!! But he likes being next to me and even if he isn't sleeping, he stops crying. Its also easier for me to keep the binky in his mouth that way, or retrieve it when it falls out of his mouth... Also, I am physically unable to sit up with him in the glider at some points of the night because I am so exhausted... If I'm doing this already, will he be destined to sleep in my bed forever????

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Liza

He probably still has his nights and days confused. It does take a little while for them to adjust. I think around 5 - 6 weeks Hannah started getting the hang of the sleep at night thing!

We put her in her crib from day one. I slept in the glider so that I was right there everytime she cried. I stood strong and was always there if she needed me. It only took 3 -4 days for her to get used to it. Now she goes in her crib so easily!!! I can leave her in there awake and she'll play herself to sleep. Not even a peep (until she's hungry LOL)

You can NOT spoil a baby that young. I've read tons of articles and books and they all say for the at least the first 3 months you soothe them when they cry. He is way to young to cry it out. I would let him sleep whereever he sleeps, so if he likes the swing, let him sleep in it.

I get a little nervous about co-sleeping for fear of DH rolling over on her and I choose not to do it, but lots of girls have success with co-sleeping.

Just give him a little more time, he'll figure things out


eta: Have you tried swaddling? That worked WONDERS for my DD. The only one that worked for me was a regular receiving blanket or the Miracle Blanket. She broke out of all those velcro ones.

Message edited 4/24/2007 9:40:32 AM.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

I would definitely use the swing if it helps. He will get used to your bed though if you do that every night. But my son napped in his swing until 4 months old and when he was sick he'd sleep in there at night (when he slept!) Good luck!!

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

You do what you have to do at that age to get them to sleep...there were plenty of nights that either me or DH slept on the couch while Sydney slept in the swing.
It takes a while for them to get used to the crib or wherever else you put them.
Don't worry, he will be sleeping for you soon

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

I suggest trying to swaddle him, it was a life saver for a long time for us. Also, if you find the only way he sleeps is in the swing then it's ok for a while longer. Just bring it into the bedroom so that you can still sleep comfortably and be close to him if he wakes.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

For a few months, we co-slept because it was the only way to get a little shut-eye. Believe it or not, it took very little to break the cycle of us all sleeping together. Within a night or two, she was in her crib and doing fine. I always vowed that we wouldn't take our DD in bed too but we did and we loved it. It was a really special bonding time. When we moved her out, I missed sleeping with her.

I think you should do what you have to do to make it work. You can always change things later, especially at this young age. Don't let her CIO; she's entirely too young for that. Your DC just wants to be held and comforted. You can't blame her...just think about the environment she is used to. It's pretty nice in that amniotic fluid ... toasty and cozy.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Thanks ladies!

Cailen HATES being swaddled because he likes access to his hands - he gets very upset if he cannot have them near his face - this was from the moment he was born!

Also, it seems he has gone backwards - he used to sleep fine in the bassinet when we put him down - I think because I hold him a lot during the day even when he is sleeping he has gotten used to it...

Also, sometimes it seems as if he is fighting himself from falling asleep - I'll see the lids drop, he will doze, and then scrunch up his face and start crying all over again!!!

the "cosleeping" I try to only do in the morning when I just want to snooze a bit more - but I did it at 5 this morning because I was so exhausted and needed to at least lie down while tending to him - he became so quiet and fell asleep, I went with it!

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

You can swaddle him and leave his hands loose. And I just wanted to add, we vowed not to have the baby in bed with us too, but especially because I was BFing, it was just so much easier. We had him in bed with us until he was 4 weeks, then he went into the bassinet. He was not very happy about it for the first few nights. But I vowed to stay strong. Every time he would cry I would either nurse or sooth him back to sleep and put him back into the bassinet. He would wake up A LOT!!! But I stuck to it. After about two nights it was much better. At three months we put him in the crib and the transition was pretty easy.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Does his hands wake him up? I always thought Hannah hated being swaddled to. I would watch her and see that her own hands flailing around was the cause of her constantly waking up. The dr said she doesn't know what's best for her to swaddle her. She got used it and is still swaddled at almost 5 months!!!!

Also I always brought DD into bed with me in the early morning when DH was up and out. I loved that morning nap together

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

My dd loves motion too, so i bought an attachment for the crib that vibrates for 15 min as she falls asleep and starts up again if she stirs a lot. I have friends who move the swing to thier bedroom for nightime sleep. You need to do whatever works for your ds and you.I read everywhere that you cannot spoil a newborn until they are 2 months old!

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

When DD was that young we never put her down awake. In the beginning if she didn't fall asleep with the bottle or nursing itself we'd put her in the swing to fall asleep and then about 15-30 min after she'd fallen asleep we'd gently relocate her to the bassinet and it worked out fine. You might want to try that.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

If you are putting him down right after a feeding, laying flat may not be helping his digestion and that's why he's protesting.

Jake gave up the bassinett after a few days. You want restful sleep for him, and putting him in the swing with it on, is not really giving him that. You can put him in the swing, but don't turn it on. The angle alone may help him sleep better. Or you can try the carseat - that's what worked for us until he was ready for the crib.

The other alternative is to angle the mattress in the bassinett so that he is not laying perfectly flat (roll up some towels or receiving blankets underneath -making sure that they can't get loose and be around him). This did not work for us in the bassinet but it worked when we moved him to the crib at 5 weeks.

Good luck!

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

liza

hannah had the same issues in the beginning. she NEVER wanted to sleep in the bassinet. she was so noisy anyway that we moved her into the crib, but that did not work either. ultimately, we moved the baby papasan bouncer into the crib and she slept upright until she was nearly 4 months old. she has wicked acid reflux and i think sleeping flat on her back just made it so much worse.

i think if you put him in the swing to sleep it is fine. dont let him cry right now. hes too little to understand. i also said i would never bring her into my bed, but now i wish we had co slept. you could always get a co sleeper to make it safer.

read healthy sleep habits healthy child. it was a g-d send for me.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

My DS is about the age of yours and has the same issues. I bought a sleep positioner for his bassinet -- it looks almost like a little chair, so he is elevated a little bit and also it makes him feel a little more secure I think. Now, he sleeps 6 hrs straight in there at night!

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

I agree with letting him sleep where ever he is comfortable. DD started to confuse day and night when she was 4 weeks. She would sleep great during the day but then at nignt she wanted to party. We started doing a pm routine with her, change, bath (sponge) bottle, book. It took a while but it got her back on track. She is almost 4 months and we still have the same routine.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

I also began a routine for him - and when I put him down, I stick to the routine, where I take him upstairs, I sit on the glider in his dark bedroom, and then when he's asleep take him into our bedroom into his bassinet.

when DH puts him down, he gives him his bottle while watching TV. I know he wants to relax and do his own thing, but he doesnt follow the routine I wanted to have going, and its frustrating to me. I have DH put him down because by the time he comes home at night I need a break too, but I feel since he isnt following it I will have to do this too. Its frustrating because i take care of the baby all night because DH wakes up so early for work, so its all on me. I am going to try and get that routine back and see if it helps....

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

I hear you. I would leave him in the swing if that is the only thing that works. There were some nights that Kevin would just cry and cry and for some reason he would go to sleep in his bouncy sleep so we would just bring that upstairs and he would sleep in it on the floor next to his crib. Whatever works.

I also swore that i would never sleep with my baby, but once we figured out that they would fall asleep on your chest...well i can't tell you how many nights each of those boys slept the whole night with them on our chests. You do what you need to do. I think i was more dangerous to my children being sleep deprived so i did anything i could to get some zzz's.

Hang in there it does get better. Do what works for you and your child.

ETA - I also allowed them to cry for a bit when they were younger if need be. I had to do it and some nights it worked and they went back to sleep, other nights it did not. Some mom's are totally against this...I however did it. Like i said you do what you got to do.

Message edited 4/24/2007 11:29:26 AM.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

DS hated the basi/crib for the first 2 months...

The Fisher Price motion glider was a lifesaver and that is where DS slept for 2 months in our bedroom.

If you dont have it, I HIGHLY recommend you get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Message edited 4/24/2007 1:06:57 PM.

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

One day in week four we were all losing it -- I took out the miracle blanket and fought her into it, and after a minute of being tightly in the swaddle she calmed down.... *big sigh of relief* Sometimes mommy knows better and just has to convince the baby that something is a good idea!

Hope that is helpful for you...


I agree - swaddle, even if they don't seem to like it at first........they will calm down and realize how comfy, cozy it is. the miracle blanket is truly a miracle

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)

Re: Desperation (A whole bunch of sleep questions...)