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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
honestly, does it REALLY matter who was more in the wrong? your mother and the neighbor's actions were both inappropriate but debating whose actions were more inappropriate is a totally moot point.
the issue now is how to amicably resolve the feelings of discontent and move forward. i think you are being stubborn by refusing to make amends. you don't have to apologize for your mother's ill behavior but simply state that you are sorry for what transpired and hope that you can put this unfortunate incident behind and move forward.
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Posted 2/20/09 6:05 PM  |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Your mother was wrong AND the neighbor was wrong, but YOU are the one who'll have to live alongside the neighbor. You don't have to be BFF (and I wouldn't want to be, after hearing her mouth - and in front of her kids!), BUT life would be easier for everyone if you didn't have hard feelings.
So I'd go over and introduce myself, tell her you wanted to clear the air, start fresh, whatever you want to say. And if it were me, I would apologize that my mother put dog poop in the bushes, and tell her it won't happen again. And I'd truly hope that she'd respond by apologizing for her behavior. But if she doesn't... well, now you know what kind of character you're dealing with. Be the better person.
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| Posted 2/20/09 6:31 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by JessInCA
So I'd go over and introduce myself, tell her you wanted to clear the air, start fresh, whatever you want to say. And if it were me, I would apologize that my mother put dog poop in the bushes, and tell her it won't happen again. And I'd truly hope that she'd respond by apologizing for her behavior. But if she doesn't... well, now you know what kind of character you're dealing with. Be the better person.
I think you make a great point.
Maybe the woman will apologize too, if the OP offers the olive branch to make amends for her moms actions (which are what precipitated the whole dispute anyway). If she doesn't want to take the olive branch, then you know at least you tried and what is done is done.
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| Posted 2/20/09 6:38 PM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by JessInCA
Your mother was wrong AND the neighbor was wrong, but YOU are the one who'll have to live alongside the neighbor. You don't have to be BFF (and I wouldn't want to be, after hearing her mouth - and in front of her kids!), BUT life would be easier for everyone if you didn't have hard feelings.
So I'd go over and introduce myself, tell her you wanted to clear the air, start fresh, whatever you want to say. And if it were me, I would apologize that my mother put dog poop in the bushes, and tell her it won't happen again. And I'd truly hope that she'd respond by apologizing for her behavior. But if she doesn't... well, now you know what kind of character you're dealing with. Be the better person.
I agree with you 100 percent. We will do the right thing and clear the air and hope this neighbor responds positively.
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| Posted 2/20/09 6:55 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
who knows.. maybe the neighbor is bat sh*t insane and the poop set her off.
please give us updates 
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| Posted 2/20/09 7:28 PM |
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Kristin616
Member since 8/06 3595 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Both parties were wrong. Sorry, but throwing it in the bushes is gross..and for the neighbor she shouldn't have gotten that out of line. I would go apoligize but that's just me.
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| Posted 2/20/09 7:35 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Kristin616
Both parties were wrong. Sorry, but throwing it in the bushes is gross..and for the neighbor she shouldn't have gotten that out of line. I would go apoligize but that's just me.
I agree 
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| Posted 2/20/09 7:39 PM |
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lbride
Lovin' my mini man!
Member since 3/07 2475 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I would go nuts about the poop situation but I would go even crazier on someone yelling at my mom no matter how wrong my mom was. maybe the lady's kids were driving her crazy on the way out the door and she just lost it?
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| Posted 2/20/09 7:47 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I think you or DH need to go and appologize ASAP. Yeah your mom was wrong and yeah the woman who cursed was wrong for that too, but in the end YOU are going to live there near her. Frankly, I would want to clear the air before anything else happens. If she was so quick to scream obscenities she *might* be quick to do other things. And in a co-op word gets arround really fast, you don't want to be the neighbor everyone hates before you even meet them. JMO But I would appologize big time even though the other person was wrong for screaming obscenities.
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| Posted 2/20/09 8:19 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
ITA.
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| Posted 2/20/09 8:32 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Jennie0898
I agree with your husband. I'd be pizzed beyond belief if someone flung dog poo into my bushes or ones that were on/near my property.
I agree that your neighbor didn't have to curse your mom out but but your mom should have never done what she did either.
I don't understand, why didn't your mom just either flush it down the toilet or throw it away? There are laws against that kind of stuff.
I .
ITA
If I saw someone throw dog poo in the bushes I would flip out on them too, that is really nasty 
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| Posted 2/20/09 10:28 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I think your mom was wrong.
I think the lady going ballistic was wrong too.
Easiest thing to do is just let your DH go over alone and speak with her. You don't have to be there. Plus it's not like you'll be inviting her over any time soon for tea and crumpets.
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| Posted 2/20/09 10:33 PM |
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Tabitha
Member since 2/07 2029 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Otherme
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
I agree -
I definitely agree - you don't want your neighbors to think you're the type of people who don't care about the condo. Doesn't matter if she was nasty in how she spoke to your mom.. you guys have to live there and you should start fresh with them.
If she's nasty to you when you guys apologize.. then at least you know you did the right thing
word. especially since you didn't catch all of the argument, you don't know if your mom said something to set her off 
I know she's your mom, but really???? dog **** in the BUSHES. you guys are lucky the neighbor didn't report you!
make friends and promise that it will NEVER happen again.
i agree - your mom is lucky she didnt report her. i would have.
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| Posted 2/21/09 9:37 AM |
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I would apologize. Even though the neighbor might have gone too far, it could be worse. She could have reported you. I still don't understand why your mom threw the poop in the bushes. As a dog owner its upsetting when people do things like that. It ruins it for the people who pick up after their dog. Condo associations have rules and I would be angry if someone moved in and didn't care about them from day 1.
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| Posted 2/21/09 9:45 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by JessInCA
Your mother was wrong AND the neighbor was wrong, but YOU are the one who'll have to live alongside the neighbor. You don't have to be BFF (and I wouldn't want to be, after hearing her mouth - and in front of her kids!), BUT life would be easier for everyone if you didn't have hard feelings.
So I'd go over and introduce myself, tell her you wanted to clear the air, start fresh, whatever you want to say. And if it were me, I would apologize that my mother put dog poop in the bushes, and tell her it won't happen again. And I'd truly hope that she'd respond by apologizing for her behavior. But if she doesn't... well, now you know what kind of character you're dealing with. Be the better person.
totally agree. it comes down to this:
your mom was wrong (please tell me she knows the law about this)
your neighbor is the condo police (yikes)
she may be nuts..deal with it
make amends or you will be miserable because she will never let anything get by her.
Maybe your DH can smooth things over.
I hope she apologizes for her behavior. Something tells me she has seen this before and that incident was the cherry on top of her sundae and that's why she reacted that way.
Good luck.
Message edited 2/21/2009 10:11:07 AM.
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| Posted 2/21/09 10:10 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Blu-ize
I hope she apologizes for her behavior. Something tells me she has seen this before and that incident was the cherry on top of her sundae and that's why she reacted that way.
Good luck.
ITA
Well....it was a foreclosure. OP said it does need a lot of work. Maybe there were issues with the people that lived there before and the "crazy" neighbor flipped out when she saw the poop throwing incident b/c she was thinking here we go again with problem neighbors.....
Message edited 2/21/2009 11:16:51 AM.
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| Posted 2/21/09 11:08 AM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
The neighbor sounds like a psycho, and you would have found that out eventually even without the dog poop incident. I would try to avoid all contact.
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| Posted 2/22/09 11:02 AM |
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geeshna
LIF Infant
Member since 7/08 84 total posts
Name:
geeshna
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I have to agree w/your husband.. And with all do respect.. I think its your Mother who needs to go over there and make peace for your sake.. I know she is the one who got cursed out and it may not be easy for her. That to me is the right thing to do.. That way you and DH do not even have to be involved in this.. You can always choose to keep your distance in the future but at least you are not starting off with such bad blood.. Your Mom used really bad judgement, Hey who hasn't one time or another.. I just feel like it would look like you are not a bunch of disrespectful dirty ppeople moving into the complex.. Blessed is the peace maker..
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| Posted 2/22/09 11:53 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I agree with others that said they were both wrong, but you are the one who has to live there. I would definitely apologize.
dog crap in the bushes? that is just gross! and if I were the neighbor who saw it, that would set me off too
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| Posted 2/22/09 11:56 AM |
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