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MrsPJB2007
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Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
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MJ
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Sandy55
I'm hoping the woman will be a little more calm. My husband does wear a lot of toxic hair gel.
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Posted 2/20/09 4:14 PM  |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by PrincessP
Sounds like you didnt have any clue of what your moms exchange of words with this lady were either. Maybe she did react like "OMG what did you just do...thats disgusting" but your mom could have started yelling back from there. I dont for a second think this woman was wrong to be like "***". I would be enraged if your mom then screamed back. This is actually how I see it played out. I agree with the fact that I would be pizzed if I heard someone attacking my mom. SERIOUSLY THOUGH...she has kids...this is where she lives...what if her kids picked this dog sh#t up...I would have been that lady upset with your mom...I know I would...
I also suggest that you and dh appologize before you live an awful neighborly war.
Trust me. I have a clue...and as I stated previously.......mu mother didn't yell back. My MIL, who is very prim and proper and HATES dog poop..was SHOCKED at the neighbo'rs behavior.
"I didn't see what happened but apparently my Mom and the neighbor exchanged words. When I came outside the woman was driving away dropping f-bombs with the windows open and her kids in the car.
She then sarcastically screamed "Welcome to the neighborhood!""
According to you....you didnt have a clue
ITA. We were answering you based on what your OP says. I know you are taking your mom's side but you admitted yourself not being there. Like I said, you don't have to curse to make people mad. Rolling eyes, shrugging shoulders are all forms of communication. OR your mom lack of appology at the time could have set up the whole thing.
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:21 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Kara
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Kara
Even if she did overreact, that doesn't negate the fact that what the OP's mother did was wrong... so honestly I still think that the OP and her husband owe the neighbor (and the other neighbor who saw) an apology and an "it won't happen again."
My only issue is that they shouldn't have to "apologize" to the neighbor -- they didn't do it--it was her mom that did. It was innocent and not something that was intended, so why do they have to go to the neighbor who cursed and disrespected her mother with their tail between their legs and say "I'm sorry"? I just don't agree that an apology is necessary, if anything that crotchety lady who was overreacted should apolgoize.
Do I think they should go over there and say "Look lets start over" -- sure! But they shouldn't have to apolgize IMO cause like I said, I'm sure the OP's mother figured since it was her daughter's bushes, they could come back and clean it later. The neighbor going nuts was uncalled for, its all about HOW you talk to people. I would NEVER apologize to someone who talked to a member of my family like that, because it just was unnecessary, plain and simple.
I'm afraid on this issue, we'll have to agree to disagree cause it just makes no sense to me that they should say sorry for something they didn't do.
That's fine. I happen disagree... and I fail to see where I indicated they had to go with their tails between their legs. If my parents put dog poop in my neighbor's bushes, I'd be mortified, even if the neighbor's overreacted. And yes, I would go over and apologize for the fact that it happened. Obviously I didn't do it, and I'm sure the neighbor knows that, but I would feel awful that it happened and would apologize. I don't see that as a big deal. I'm not saying I'd be begging for forgiveness, but I do think it's appropriate to talk to the neighbor and clear the air.
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
But the neighbor is clearly wrong too. No way would I apologize to someone who cursed and swore at me or my family. She's a crazy and I don't apologize to or associate with the crazies.
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:21 PM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Kara
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Kara
Even if she did overreact, that doesn't negate the fact that what the OP's mother did was wrong... so honestly I still think that the OP and her husband owe the neighbor (and the other neighbor who saw) an apology and an "it won't happen again."
My only issue is that they shouldn't have to "apologize" to the neighbor -- they didn't do it--it was her mom that did. It was innocent and not something that was intended, so why do they have to go to the neighbor who cursed and disrespected her mother with their tail between their legs and say "I'm sorry"? I just don't agree that an apology is necessary, if anything that crotchety lady who was overreacted should apolgoize.
Do I think they should go over there and say "Look lets start over" -- sure! But they shouldn't have to apolgize IMO cause like I said, I'm sure the OP's mother figured since it was her daughter's bushes, they could come back and clean it later. The neighbor going nuts was uncalled for, its all about HOW you talk to people. I would NEVER apologize to someone who talked to a member of my family like that, because it just was unnecessary, plain and simple.
I'm afraid on this issue, we'll have to agree to disagree cause it just makes no sense to me that they should say sorry for something they didn't do.
That's fine. I happen disagree... and I fail to see where I indicated they had to go with their tails between their legs. If my parents put dog poop in my neighbor's bushes, I'd be mortified, even if the neighbor's overreacted. And yes, I would go over and apologize for the fact that it happened. Obviously I didn't do it, and I'm sure the neighbor knows that, but I would feel awful that it happened and would apologize. I don't see that as a big deal. I'm not saying I'd be begging for forgiveness, but I do think it's appropriate to talk to the neighbor and clear the air.
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
Yes..you're right..my Mom was wrong and the neighbor had every right to say something. But you don't think the neighbor's actions were wrong at all?
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:25 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by PrincessP
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
But the neighbor is clearly wrong too. No way would I apologize to someone who cursed and swore at me or my family. She's a crazy and I don't apologize to or associate with the crazies.
Then it would likely be mutual b/c it's pretty clear this "crazy" woman has no interest in associating with people who just move in, who think it's ok to throw poop. To me that's equally crazy (yet in a different way).
They may not want to make friends with the "crazy" woman but what they need to realize is that crazy woman could be true friends with everyone in those condos....and they are not known, and have no other reputation to go by. So that's the bigger concern, what others will think of them when the story gets around (and it will). They are the newbies, the other woman is not so they need to save face if they care at all about what their new neighbors (not the woman they had the spat with) think.
Message edited 2/20/2009 4:31:15 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:26 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Kara
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Kara
Even if she did overreact, that doesn't negate the fact that what the OP's mother did was wrong... so honestly I still think that the OP and her husband owe the neighbor (and the other neighbor who saw) an apology and an "it won't happen again."
My only issue is that they shouldn't have to "apologize" to the neighbor -- they didn't do it--it was her mom that did. It was innocent and not something that was intended, so why do they have to go to the neighbor who cursed and disrespected her mother with their tail between their legs and say "I'm sorry"? I just don't agree that an apology is necessary, if anything that crotchety lady who was overreacted should apolgoize.
Do I think they should go over there and say "Look lets start over" -- sure! But they shouldn't have to apolgize IMO cause like I said, I'm sure the OP's mother figured since it was her daughter's bushes, they could come back and clean it later. The neighbor going nuts was uncalled for, its all about HOW you talk to people. I would NEVER apologize to someone who talked to a member of my family like that, because it just was unnecessary, plain and simple.
I'm afraid on this issue, we'll have to agree to disagree cause it just makes no sense to me that they should say sorry for something they didn't do.
That's fine. I happen disagree... and I fail to see where I indicated they had to go with their tails between their legs. If my parents put dog poop in my neighbor's bushes, I'd be mortified, even if the neighbor's overreacted. And yes, I would go over and apologize for the fact that it happened. Obviously I didn't do it, and I'm sure the neighbor knows that, but I would feel awful that it happened and would apologize. I don't see that as a big deal. I'm not saying I'd be begging for forgiveness, but I do think it's appropriate to talk to the neighbor and clear the air.
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
Yes..you're right..my Mom was wrong and the neighbor had every right to say something. But you don't think the neighbor's actions were wrong at all?
Yes, the neighboor overeacted "a bit". But you don't know what really happened to set her off. You also don't know if there is prior history with dog poopoo in the area. And your mom was the "last drop" to the bucket. If her kids found poop before and played with it, etc...
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:29 PM |
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!
Member since 8/07 8806 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Personally, I think your husband should go and apologize!..................while wearing this turd costume!!!
Image Attachment(s):
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:30 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Goobster
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by PrincessP
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
But the neighbor is clearly wrong too. No way would I apologize to someone who cursed and swore at me or my family. She's a crazy and I don't apologize to or associate with the crazies.
Then it would likely be mutual b/c it's pretty clear this "crazy" woman has no interest in associating with people who just move in, who think it's ok to throw poop. To me that's equally crazy (yet in a different way).
They may not want to make friends with the "crazy" woman but what they need to realize is that crazy woman could be true friends with everyone in those condos....and they are not known, and have no other reputation to go by. So that's the bigger concern, what others think. They are the newbies, the other woman is not.
Oh, I'm not excusing the mom-I think what the mom did was a little wacky too but I would have given the benefit of the doubt and called her on it in a civilized way. No way would I have escalated to cursing or yelling, especially in front of my kid.
Poop discarders and people with trashy mouths never get along.
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:34 PM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by MrsA714
Personally, I think your husband should go and apologize!..................while wearing this turd costume!!!
AHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAA~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:35 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Goobster
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by PrincessP
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
But the neighbor is clearly wrong too. No way would I apologize to someone who cursed and swore at me or my family. She's a crazy and I don't apologize to or associate with the crazies.
Then it would likely be mutual b/c it's pretty clear this "crazy" woman has no interest in associating with people who just move in, who think it's ok to throw poop. To me that's equally crazy (yet in a different way).
They may not want to make friends with the "crazy" woman but what they need to realize is that crazy woman could be true friends with everyone in those condos....and they are not known, and have no other reputation to go by. So that's the bigger concern, what others will think of them when the story gets around (and it will). They are the newbies, the other woman is not so they need to save face if they care at all about what their new neighbors (not the woman they had the spat with) think.
I imagine if she goes around talking like that she doesn't have toooo many friends in the complex.
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:35 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by CrankyPants
I imagine if she goes around talking like that she doesn't have toooo many friends in the complex.
hehe i was thinking the same thing.
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:37 PM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by CrankyPants
I imagine if she goes around talking like that she doesn't have toooo many friends in the complex.
hehe i was thinking the same thing.
you know what's interesting?
My husband spoke to another neighbor a couple of weeks ago to say hello and this other neighbor said to watch out for this one lady because she acts like the "condo police"
I wonder if she was talking about the lady that yelled at my Mom. 
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:43 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by CrankyPants
Posted by Goobster
Posted by CrankyPants
But the neighbor is clearly wrong too. No way would I apologize to someone who cursed and swore at me or my family. She's a crazy and I don't apologize to or associate with the crazies.
They may not want to make friends with the "crazy" woman but what they need to realize is that crazy woman could be true friends with everyone in Wthose condos....and they are not known, and have no other reputation to go by. So that's the bigger concern, what others will think of them when the story gets around (and it will). They are the newbies, the other woman is not so they need to save face if they care at all about what their new neighbors (not the woman they had the spat with) think.
I imagine if she goes around talking like that she doesn't have toooo many friends in the complex.
We have no idea if sthis woman has ever acted this way before, with any of her neighbors. Bottom line is she is known already and could be friendly with many (or not, sure, of course that's possible). They are not known and this is just a bad start.
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:45 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Sandy55
you know what's interesting?
My husband spoke to another neighbor a couple of weeks ago to say hello and this other neighbor said to watch out for this one lady because she acts like the "condo police"
I wonder if she was talking about the lady that yelled at my Mom.
haha i would bet any amount of money that its that lady. i'm telling you--anyone who is that nasty and rude so quick....just not normal to me.
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:49 PM |
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lakadema
LIF Adult
Member since 5/08 1180 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I would totally go over there and apologize to her.
I would be so mad if someone threw dog feces in the bushes where I lived. I don't think I would have cursed at your mom, but I would have definitely asked her to dispose of it properly(in a trash can).
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| Posted 2/20/09 4:52 PM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Sandy55
Yes..you're right..my Mom was wrong and the neighbor had every right to say something. But you don't think the neighbor's actions were wrong at all?
Sorry but I don't think so. Throwing dog poop into the bushes is disgusting.  Take that stuff to the garbage. 
People get angry. It's called emotion.
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:12 PM |
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LemonHead
Sour Girl
Member since 3/08 5271 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by ave1024
People get angry. It's called emotion.
Mature adults deal with their emotions in a rational way- even the angry ones. This neighbor was not justified in yelling at the OP's mother. She could have expressed her displeasure in a more tactful way.
(BTW- I think most of us here know what emotion is. But thank you for providing us with a definition anwyay.)
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:27 PM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Mature adults deal with their emotions in a rational way- even the angry ones. This neighbor was not justified in yelling at the OP's mother. She could have expressed her displeasure in a more tactful way.
(BTW- I think most of us here know what emotion is. But thank you for providing us with a definition anwyay.)
ITA!
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:29 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Kara
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Kara
Even if she did overreact, that doesn't negate the fact that what the OP's mother did was wrong... so honestly I still think that the OP and her husband owe the neighbor (and the other neighbor who saw) an apology and an "it won't happen again."
My only issue is that they shouldn't have to "apologize" to the neighbor -- they didn't do it--it was her mom that did. It was innocent and not something that was intended, so why do they have to go to the neighbor who cursed and disrespected her mother with their tail between their legs and say "I'm sorry"? I just don't agree that an apology is necessary, if anything that crotchety lady who was overreacted should apolgoize.
Do I think they should go over there and say "Look lets start over" -- sure! But they shouldn't have to apolgize IMO cause like I said, I'm sure the OP's mother figured since it was her daughter's bushes, they could come back and clean it later. The neighbor going nuts was uncalled for, its all about HOW you talk to people. I would NEVER apologize to someone who talked to a member of my family like that, because it just was unnecessary, plain and simple.
I'm afraid on this issue, we'll have to agree to disagree cause it just makes no sense to me that they should say sorry for something they didn't do.
That's fine. I happen disagree... and I fail to see where I indicated they had to go with their tails between their legs. If my parents put dog poop in my neighbor's bushes, I'd be mortified, even if the neighbor's overreacted. And yes, I would go over and apologize for the fact that it happened. Obviously I didn't do it, and I'm sure the neighbor knows that, but I would feel awful that it happened and would apologize. I don't see that as a big deal. I'm not saying I'd be begging for forgiveness, but I do think it's appropriate to talk to the neighbor and clear the air.
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
Yes..you're right..my Mom was wrong and the neighbor had every right to say something. But you don't think the neighbor's actions were wrong at all?
Ya want to know something...you are asking me if the neighbor was right??? Who cares about the neighbor....What your mom did was truly disgusting...it was...plain and simple...can we agree???
Now IMO...what words she has with your mom is just that....words with your mom. SO...you have 2 choices....1) if she is the "condo police" you are walking a fine line so i would resolve the matter quickly 2)if she is "crazy" like you said ...I'd probably solve it even quicker....Remember 1 thing...we all dont have to live there ...you do. Your moms words with her are already done. Its your place to solve it for you and dh.
I am actually interested to hear what happens with your dh's conversation with her. Who knows maybe SHE is already DONE. Maybe she is going to want nothing to do with you both. What a way to start a neighborhood.
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:30 PM |
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NASP09
...
Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re:
Message edited 3/4/2010 9:48:38 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:34 PM |
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Sandy55
My family ROCKS!!!
Member since 2/08 1219 total posts
Name:
Sandy
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Kara
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Kara
Even if she did overreact, that doesn't negate the fact that what the OP's mother did was wrong... so honestly I still think that the OP and her husband owe the neighbor (and the other neighbor who saw) an apology and an "it won't happen again."
My only issue is that they shouldn't have to "apologize" to the neighbor -- they didn't do it--it was her mom that did. It was innocent and not something that was intended, so why do they have to go to the neighbor who cursed and disrespected her mother with their tail between their legs and say "I'm sorry"? I just don't agree that an apology is necessary, if anything that crotchety lady who was overreacted should apolgoize.
Do I think they should go over there and say "Look lets start over" -- sure! But they shouldn't have to apolgize IMO cause like I said, I'm sure the OP's mother figured since it was her daughter's bushes, they could come back and clean it later. The neighbor going nuts was uncalled for, its all about HOW you talk to people. I would NEVER apologize to someone who talked to a member of my family like that, because it just was unnecessary, plain and simple.
I'm afraid on this issue, we'll have to agree to disagree cause it just makes no sense to me that they should say sorry for something they didn't do.
That's fine. I happen disagree... and I fail to see where I indicated they had to go with their tails between their legs. If my parents put dog poop in my neighbor's bushes, I'd be mortified, even if the neighbor's overreacted. And yes, I would go over and apologize for the fact that it happened. Obviously I didn't do it, and I'm sure the neighbor knows that, but I would feel awful that it happened and would apologize. I don't see that as a big deal. I'm not saying I'd be begging for forgiveness, but I do think it's appropriate to talk to the neighbor and clear the air.
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
Yes..you're right..my Mom was wrong and the neighbor had every right to say something. But you don't think the neighbor's actions were wrong at all?
Ya want to know something...you are asking me if the neighbor was right??? Who cares about the neighbor....What your mom did was truly disgusting...it was...plain and simple...can we agree???
Now IMO...what words she has with your mom is just that....words with your mom. SO...you have 2 choices....1) if she is the "condo police" you are walking a fine line so i would resolve the matter quickly 2)if she is "crazy" like you said ...I'd probably solve it even quicker....Remember 1 thing...we all dont have to live there ...you do. Your moms words with her are already done. Its your place to solve it for you and dh.
I am actually interested to hear what happens with your dh's conversation with her. Who knows maybe SHE is already DONE. Maybe she is going to want nothing to do with you both. What a way to start a neighborhood.
I don't know why you're getting so excited and nasty about this. and you STILL did not answer my question--i already said that my mom was wrong--and asked if you thought the lady's actions were right and all you did was go back to my mom and say how disgusting it was..thanks.....yes it was wrong but why can't you see anything wrong with the woman's behavior with my mom?
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:39 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by PrincessP
Ya want to know something...you are asking me if the neighbor was right??? Who cares about the neighbor....What your mom did was truly disgusting...it was...plain and simple...can we agree???
Now IMO...what words she has with your mom is just that....words with your mom. SO...you have 2 choices....1) if she is the "condo police" you are walking a fine line so i would resolve the matter quickly 2)if she is "crazy" like you said ...I'd probably solve it even quicker....Remember 1 thing...we all dont have to live there ...you do. Your moms words with her are already done. Its your place to solve it for you and dh.
I am actually interested to hear what happens with your dh's conversation with her. Who knows maybe SHE is already DONE. Maybe she is going to want nothing to do with you both. What a way to start a neighborhood.
Why are you getting so hostile toward the OP over this? And honestly you never answered her question--she DID state what her mom did was wrong--but she asked YOU if you thought the woman was correct in being extremely rude and overreacting to her?
How about if your child was outside and did something like throw garbage or poop or something on your neighbor's lawn and in turn that person believed it was disgusting -- and that neighbor in turn started yelling and screaming at them in an overreacting manner...would that be okay? I'm sure it wouldn't, because its your family and no one is gonna speak to them like that. (Yes I'm using a child as an example and people will say 'well that's different' - but I'm trying to just reiterate how you would feel if someone cursed out your family member - regardless of what the issue is.)
I just think that those who are trying to say that the neighbor who was so nuts with her reaction is NOT in the wrong at all---when in reality all she had to do was act in a different manner. Why is it that the "new neighbor" is the one who has to be cordial and try and "impress" them or something? Why wouldn't the one whose been living there just been nicer about it? So because she's been there longer she has the right to fly off the handle? I don't think so. Its about how you treat people -- and obviously this person didn't care at all and resorted to foul language instead of reasoning.
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:43 PM |
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
This is a toughie...
As you have said, your mom was wrong. Yes it was gross and it was a mistake - last time I checked, none of us are perfect. A disgusting mistake, yes, but still just a mistake in the end.
But, the neighbor also made a mistake by the way she reacted. Honestly, I would have been completely pi$$ed too. I've been reading about the alleged bushes - doesn't matter which bushes, you don't throw dog poop anywhere but a garbage can or toilet bowl (but I am not telling you something you don't already know). I'm sure just the idea of the discarded poop just set her off. I'm not saying how severely she reacted was ok, but in the end, still just a mistake.
And just as you are sitting her saying "I'm not going to apologize because of how she reacted", she's sitting there saying "I'm not going to apologize because that was disgusting".
Listen, if it were my mom, my immediate reaction would be the same as you - DON'T EFF WITH MY MOM. But after settling down a bit, i would be happy that my DH was trying to make peace with the situation. It can only benefit you in the end...you want to be comfortable where you live, and when there is tension, it's just not comfortable. Even if you think you're not gonna give a $hit, you may later on...better to try and repair it in the short run than the long one...
Moral of the story - we ALL make mistakes...
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:57 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by Kara
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Kara
Even if she did overreact, that doesn't negate the fact that what the OP's mother did was wrong... so honestly I still think that the OP and her husband owe the neighbor (and the other neighbor who saw) an apology and an "it won't happen again."
My only issue is that they shouldn't have to "apologize" to the neighbor -- they didn't do it--it was her mom that did. It was innocent and not something that was intended, so why do they have to go to the neighbor who cursed and disrespected her mother with their tail between their legs and say "I'm sorry"? I just don't agree that an apology is necessary, if anything that crotchety lady who was overreacted should apolgoize.
Do I think they should go over there and say "Look lets start over" -- sure! But they shouldn't have to apolgize IMO cause like I said, I'm sure the OP's mother figured since it was her daughter's bushes, they could come back and clean it later. The neighbor going nuts was uncalled for, its all about HOW you talk to people. I would NEVER apologize to someone who talked to a member of my family like that, because it just was unnecessary, plain and simple.
I'm afraid on this issue, we'll have to agree to disagree cause it just makes no sense to me that they should say sorry for something they didn't do.
That's fine. I happen disagree... and I fail to see where I indicated they had to go with their tails between their legs. If my parents put dog poop in my neighbor's bushes, I'd be mortified, even if the neighbor's overreacted. And yes, I would go over and apologize for the fact that it happened. Obviously I didn't do it, and I'm sure the neighbor knows that, but I would feel awful that it happened and would apologize. I don't see that as a big deal. I'm not saying I'd be begging for forgiveness, but I do think it's appropriate to talk to the neighbor and clear the air.
I agree with you.
Seriously, thats the bottom line to it all.
I see alot of mom defending in a case where she is CLEARLY wrong. Go appologize bc you want peace.
Yes..you're right..my Mom was wrong and the neighbor had every right to say something. But you don't think the neighbor's actions were wrong at all?
Ya want to know something...you are asking me if the neighbor was right??? Who cares about the neighbor....What your mom did was truly disgusting...it was...plain and simple...can we agree???
Now IMO...what words she has with your mom is just that....words with your mom. SO...you have 2 choices....1) if she is the "condo police" you are walking a fine line so i would resolve the matter quickly 2)if she is "crazy" like you said ...I'd probably solve it even quicker....Remember 1 thing...we all dont have to live there ...you do. Your moms words with her are already done. Its your place to solve it for you and dh.
I am actually interested to hear what happens with your dh's conversation with her. Who knows maybe SHE is already DONE. Maybe she is going to want nothing to do with you both. What a way to start a neighborhood.
I don't know why you're getting so excited and nasty about this. and you STILL did not answer my question--i already said that my mom was wrong--and asked if you thought the lady's actions were right and all you did was go back to my mom and say how disgusting it was..thanks.....yes it was wrong but why can't you see anything wrong with the woman's behavior with my mom?
I swear to you...
not getting excited or trying to be nasty...
I am trying to say that you should go over and appologize for YOUR own sake. You have so much to benefit from just apologizing and getting this over with. Much more t lose by feeling like "my mom is right you are wrong"...Does that make sense?
I do think this lady could be potentially dangerous if thats what you are asking AND that gives me more reson to tell you to appologize.
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:57 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by PrincessP
Ya want to know something...you are asking me if the neighbor was right??? Who cares about the neighbor....What your mom did was truly disgusting...it was...plain and simple...can we agree???
Now IMO...what words she has with your mom is just that....words with your mom. SO...you have 2 choices....1) if she is the "condo police" you are walking a fine line so i would resolve the matter quickly 2)if she is "crazy" like you said ...I'd probably solve it even quicker....Remember 1 thing...we all dont have to live there ...you do. Your moms words with her are already done. Its your place to solve it for you and dh.
I am actually interested to hear what happens with your dh's conversation with her. Who knows maybe SHE is already DONE. Maybe she is going to want nothing to do with you both. What a way to start a neighborhood.
Why are you getting so hostile toward the OP over this? And honestly you never answered her question--she DID state what her mom did was wrong--but she asked YOU if you thought the woman was correct in being extremely rude and overreacting to her?
How about if your child was outside and did something like throw garbage or poop or something on your neighbor's lawn and in turn that person believed it was disgusting -- and that neighbor in turn started yelling and screaming at them in an overreacting manner...would that be okay? I'm sure it wouldn't, because its your family and no one is gonna speak to them like that. (Yes I'm using a child as an example and people will say 'well that's different' - but I'm trying to just reiterate how you would feel if someone cursed out your family member - regardless of what the issue is.)
I just think that those who are trying to say that the neighbor who was so nuts with her reaction is NOT in the wrong at all---when in reality all she had to do was act in a different manner. Why is it that the "new neighbor" is the one who has to be cordial and try and "impress" them or something? Why wouldn't the one whose been living there just been nicer about it? So because she's been there longer she has the right to fly off the handle? I don't think so. Its about how you treat people -- and obviously this person didn't care at all and resorted to foul language instead of reasoning.
I didnt even read your response just the first line. I already wrote the OP what I am talking about and believe me not trying to get nasty at all. Trying to give advice thats all. I do think its in her best interest to appologize. Apparently, you have alot to say to me but I dont have the time right now. Sorry 
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| Posted 2/20/09 5:59 PM |
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