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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by lullabella
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Sandy55
Posted by Goobster
Oh, Sandy, I have to disagree. I would have reacted the same way as your neighbor. I am glad you are admitting your mom did wrong but the reality is, what your mom did was so wrong that I can't blame the neighbor for anything she said. It's disgusting, unsanitary, against the law and it sends a message that you (since you are associated with her) don't care about the cleanliness of where you live. Also, dog waste can cause disease as well as serve as rat/rodent food so I think the bottom line is your mom was entirely in the wrong and created the situation, so you need to apologize if you want a fresh start. Before you know it the whole condo will be talking about the "new" people moving in and I would hate for you to get a bad name from day one. Just being honest, i really would apologize for what my mom did if I were you.
You seriously would've started screaming and yelling and cursing at someone who threw dog poop in the bushes? I am not going to apologize to someone like that. I'm sorry...My Mom being wrong or not. We'll just talk to the neighbor. But the word sorry will not come out of my mouth.
This is getting a bit sensititive for me because we're talking about my Mom here. I probably should not have posted this. Thanks.
Being totally honest, I would have gone more ballistic on my OWN mom if I were in your shoes if she did something like that and I would support anyone talking to my mom if she did that as well. I would never want my new neighbors to think I have no concern for cleanliness, the law, etc. I am being totally honest. And yes, I did go ballistic on a woman who let her dog poop on my lawn and left it. It's just downright disgusting and IMO if someone is going to be that rude, then I would not edit myself or be polite when they clearly have no regard for the law and for others. Sorry, mom or not, just being honest.
I guarantee you I would go ballistic on my mom if she did it. She wouldn't get any free passes in my book if she did something like that, esp if I just moved in somewhere, a condo of all places where they have rules/board, etc. It really sends a TERRIBLE message to your new neighbors about what you view as acceptable behavior and this is action is not one bit acceptable.
Really? I think it was wrong too but she could have just said "excuse me please dont digard poop in the bushes... blah blah". I hate that people always feel if they are right it gives them the OK to act "ballistic" or psycho.
I agree, the op's mom was wrong but that lady is a psycho and anyone who would have freaked out, cursing at someone like that is a bit psycho too 
JMO of course 
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Posted 2/20/09 1:29 PM  |
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MrsPJB2007
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Goobster
I personally think throwing dog waste is something that would make a LOT of people react without editing themselves.
The only person who should be editing themselves is the one who is breaking the law.
Well if it was something they were doing with malicious intent--I can see what you mean. Someone who brings their garbage and dumps it illegally on your lawn--on purpose--yeah I'd be p*ssed. But obviously the OP's mom wasn't thinking--and figured "Well if I put it in YOUR bushes in front of your condo--we'll get it later since I don't have any garbage bags or anything right now."
How is that something that warrants a stranger approaching her and cursing her out like she is some POS on the street? Yes its true that the OP is the new person, but whatever happened to people just trying to start off with some hospitality and kindness to the new neighbor? She could have just said "Hey I know you're new here, but we make it a point to never do that--do you need a baggy?"
Kindness can go a long way.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:33 PM |
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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Goobster
Posted by lullabella
Really? I think it was wrong too but she could have just said "excuse me please dont digard poop in the bushes... blah blah". I hate that people always feel if they are right it gives them the OK to act "ballistic" or psycho.
I personally think throwing dog waste is something that would make a LOT of people react without editing themselves.
The only person who should be editing themselves is the one who is breaking the law.
Ok maybe I am in the minority here but I give everyone the benefit of the doubt and would not berate someone for something so trivial. It sounds like it was an innocent mistake.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:34 PM |
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NASP09
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Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
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Re:
Message edited 3/4/2010 9:49:37 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:34 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
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me
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I understand you want to protect your mom and it's normal.
BUT 1/ the woman saw someone threw dog poop in the brushes. She apparently has kids so she went balistic. She is just imagining her kids finding the poop and maybe playing with it. 2/ did you hear the entire conversation of your mom and neighboor? For example, the woman could have said "what is wrong with you?" but how your mom reacted to this comment could have set the rest. Like she could have shrugged her shoulders or roll her eyes like it was not a big deal. KWIM? Sometimes you don't have to say anything for situation to excalade.
I would go and make peace. Then if she is still irrational, you will know where you stand.
Message edited 2/20/2009 1:42:39 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:40 PM |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Goobster
Posted by lullabella
Really? I think it was wrong too but she could have just said "excuse me please dont digard poop in the bushes... blah blah". I hate that people always feel if they are right it gives them the OK to act "ballistic" or psycho.
I personally think throwing dog waste is something that would make a LOT of people react without editing themselves.
The only person who should be editing themselves is the one who is breaking the law.
I agree and also wanted to add that maybe the neighbor did start out saying something nicer like that. But then maybe words were exchanged and it got nasty. The OP wasn't there and may not know exactly who said what and how. I could see that situation escalating quickly.
Regardless, the woman may have flipped out because of the serious health and cleanliness concerns, especially having young children, and I can't say I entirely blame her.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:41 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by MrsPJB2007
honestly, i think the neighbor's reaction was a bit much. yeah your mom was in the wrong--but its all about how you speak to people. why did she have to curse your mom out like that? couldn't she have just said "Um, you're not allowed to do that--could you maybe get a baggy or flush it down the toilet? If you don't have a baggy I have one--I just don't want poop in the bushes."
Instead she opted to fly off the handle and it just wasn't necessary. The fact she had her kids in the car and was screaming f-bombs at your mom while driving away speaks VOLUMES to me.
I wouldn't apologize per se--I'd maybe just say "Can we start over--it wasn't intentional, we just want to wipe the slate clean and it wasn't US who did it was my mom and its not happening again" But my guess is, if she was the type of person to react to your mom like that in the first place--she's probably just gonna be a b*tch no matter what. lol
I have to agree with this.
And the thing that gets me the most out of this whole situation is how this woman threw the f-bomb and freaked out the way she did in front of her kids.
If I witnessed both of these incidents, I would be more shocked and the way the woman handled the situation over the initial poop incident itself.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:42 PM |
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I just moved into my first home (that i OWN), and im putting a ton of sweat, blood, tears and MONEY into it, and have developed a sense of pride in my home. Now if someone were to come over and throw a bag of poop in my bushes, i would have reacted the SAME way AFTER i literally made them clean it up (granted i admit i AM psycho, working on that :)
Thats just really gross and disrespectful i mean its a community where MANY people live. I would take offense, and I DO NOT offend easily.
I really hope you work things out, its not worth starting a war over.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:42 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by theburbshereicome
I just moved into my first home (that i OWN), and im putting a ton of sweat, blood, tears and MONEY into it, and have developed a sense of pride in my home. Now if someone were to come over and throw a bag of poop in my bushes, i would have reacted the SAME way AFTER i literally made them clean it up (granted i admit i AM psycho, working on that :)
Thats just really gross and disrespectful i mean its a community where MANY people live. I would take offense, and I DO NOT offend easily.
I really hope you work things out, its not worth starting a war over.
I thought Sandy said it was her OWN bushes NOT the neighbors bush.
ETS: this wasn't just directed at you. I just quoted yours since it was the last reply
Message edited 2/20/2009 1:44:52 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:43 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Mssissy
Posted by theburbshereicome
I just moved into my first home (that i OWN), and im putting a ton of sweat, blood, tears and MONEY into it, and have developed a sense of pride in my home. Now if someone were to come over and throw a bag of poop in my bushes, i would have reacted the SAME way AFTER i literally made them clean it up (granted i admit i AM psycho, working on that :)
Thats just really gross and disrespectful i mean its a community where MANY people live. I would take offense, and I DO NOT offend easily.
I really hope you work things out, its not worth starting a war over.
I thought Sandy said it was her OWN bushes NOT the neighbors bush.
Maybe the woman lived in an adjacent condo but regardless, it's a public health threat thrown anywhere that it's not properly disposed, period. It serves as rat and rodent food, which effects us all.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:45 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Chai77
I agree and also wanted to add that maybe the neighbor did start out saying something nicer like that. But then maybe words were exchanged and it got nasty. The OP wasn't there and may not know exactly who said what and how. I could see that situation escalating quickly.
Regardless, the woman may have flipped out because of the serious health and cleanliness concerns, especially having young children, and I can't say I entirely blame her.
ita
Message edited 2/20/2009 1:48:45 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:47 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
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MJ
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Chai77
I agree and also wanted to add that maybe the neighbor did start out saying something nicer like that. But then maybe words were exchanged and it got nasty. The OP wasn't there and may not know exactly who said what and how. I could see that situation escalating quickly.
Regardless, the woman may have flipped out because of the serious health and cleanliness concerns, especially having young children, and I can't say I entirely blame her.
Well there was another person who was there and saw it--the OP's MIL and she had stated the woman overreacted as well. So since there was someone else there saying "Wow that lady was nuts" - I think that makes me feel like she was not warranted in her reaction. I just don't understand when people flip out so quickly on someone else vs. just trying to be rational.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:49 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Christine
I agree with your DH about making peace and starting over. I know it's your mom but you have to live there and throwing dog poop in the bushes was wrong.
ITA
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:49 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
You should go try to smooth things over. I mean, think about how you would feel if you heard that someone was finally moving into the foreclosed place next door - which you said needs work - and you bump into someone you would assume is going to be living there flinging dog poo into the bushes. You'd probably be pretty upset too.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:51 PM |
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Kara
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Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
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They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Your DH is right. You should go over and apologize to the neighbor and try to start over.
Sorry, but what your mother did was totally wrong (not just at a condo, but anywhere), and I would be extremely upset to see someone do that ANYWHERE, particularly where I live.
I'm not saying the woman should have gone off cursing or anything like that (and just file that away so you know that she's not someone you'll be buddy buddy with at all due to her temper)... but I think the right thing to do is to go apologize so there's not outstanding "beef" between the two of you. This way you can both hopefully go about your own business without things being really awkward.
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:55 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
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They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Well there was another person who was there and saw it--the OP's MIL and she had stated the woman overreacted as well. So since there was someone else there saying "Wow that lady was nuts" - I think that makes me feel like she was not warranted in her reaction. I just don't understand when people flip out so quickly on someone else vs. just trying to be rational.
Even if she did overreact, that doesn't negate the fact that what the OP's mother did was wrong... so honestly I still think that the OP and her husband owe the neighbor (and the other neighbor who saw) an apology and an "it won't happen again."
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| Posted 2/20/09 1:57 PM |
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MeNBobs
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Member since 4/07 3765 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Goobster
Posted by Chai77
I agree and also wanted to add that maybe the neighbor did start out saying something nicer like that. But then maybe words were exchanged and it got nasty. The OP wasn't there and may not know exactly who said what and how. I could see that situation escalating quickly.
Regardless, the woman may have flipped out because of the serious health and cleanliness concerns, especially having young children, and I can't say I entirely blame her.
ita
While her mom was wrong in disposing of the poop in the tree I don't think it is ever okay to ever speak to anyone the way the neighbor did. I would never lower myself to a level where I had to resort to speaking to someone like that, especially in front of children. In my opinion her shittty attitude and diarrhea of the mouth are more of a concern and a good example of what is wrong with the world today than a small piece of dog poop.
To the OP I'm sorry you were welcomed to the neighborhood like this. I would go over and make peace because not getting along with your neighbor is not pleasant.
Good luck and now that you are a homeowner I will send Saturday and Sunday your regards since those days of hanging out with them will be few and far between  .
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| Posted 2/20/09 2:58 PM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
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browneyes
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Jennie0898
I agree with your husband. I'd be pizzed beyond belief if someone flung dog poo into my bushes or ones that were on/near my property.
I agree that your neighbor didn't have to curse your mom out but but your mom should have never done what she did either.
I don't understand, why didn't your mom just either flush it down the toilet or throw it away? There are laws against that kind of stuff.
I would apologize to the neighbor and hopefully start over. Who knows, maybe this neighbor will apologize for speaking to your mom the way she did.
i completely agree. i think you guys need to apologize on behalf of your mother.
i don't live in a condo, but honestly, if someone threw dog poop in my bushes, i would be livid and would probably start cursing as well if the person didn't pick it up and apologize. dog poop is disgusting, and no one should have to deal with it.
start fresh with your neighbors--you don't want to live with animosity between you.
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| Posted 2/20/09 3:01 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by Kara
Even if she did overreact, that doesn't negate the fact that what the OP's mother did was wrong... so honestly I still think that the OP and her husband owe the neighbor (and the other neighbor who saw) an apology and an "it won't happen again."
My only issue is that they shouldn't have to "apologize" to the neighbor -- they didn't do it--it was her mom that did. It was innocent and not something that was intended, so why do they have to go to the neighbor who cursed and disrespected her mother with their tail between their legs and say "I'm sorry"? I just don't agree that an apology is necessary, if anything that crotchety lady who was overreacted should apolgoize.
Do I think they should go over there and say "Look lets start over" -- sure! But they shouldn't have to apolgize IMO cause like I said, I'm sure the OP's mother figured since it was her daughter's bushes, they could come back and clean it later. The neighbor going nuts was uncalled for, its all about HOW you talk to people. I would NEVER apologize to someone who talked to a member of my family like that, because it just was unnecessary, plain and simple.
I'm afraid on this issue, we'll have to agree to disagree cause it just makes no sense to me that they should say sorry for something they didn't do.
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| Posted 2/20/09 3:06 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by browneyedgirl
i don't live in a condo, but honestly, if someone threw dog poop in my bushes, i would be livid and would probably start cursing as well if the person didn't pick it up and apologize.
just to clarify--she didn't throw it in the NEIGHBOR'S bushes--she tossed it in the bushes that are part of her daughter's condo. The neighbor just witnessed it and then went nuts.
If they tossed it in the neighbor's bushes, I think I would feel differently, but the mother of the OP didn't toss it in any other bushes but the one that are now part of her daughter's condo.
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| Posted 2/20/09 3:09 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
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baby fish mouth
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
but she doesn't even know if the woman touched the baby.....
oh wait...
I got confused.
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| Posted 2/20/09 3:11 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
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Marisa
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
REGARDLES of who was right or who was wrong or who's reaction was acceptable or not .........YOU and YOUR DH have to LIVE here -
WHY would you want to sart things off badly w/ a neighbor over something that you didn't even do ?? I understand being p*ssed off about someone speaking to yoru Mom that way, but you have to coexist w/ these people, and do you REALLY want to be on the 'bad side' of someone like that?
YOU don't have to go over there - let your DH go and smooth things over for the both of you ........Personally I think your lives will be MUCH easier in the long run -
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| Posted 2/20/09 3:15 PM |
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fabrichick
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Member since 5/05 2479 total posts
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I live in a co-op and was a dog owner for many years...I think I would have been horrified if I saw anyone throwing poop in any bushes on the property - mine, the neighbors. their own bushes. Would not leave me with a warm fuzzy feeling about the new people moving in.
I don't know if I would have attacked in that manner but as an owner I would have been very territorial being that I was already living there and this is what I was seeing from my new neighbors.
No one wants to deal with irrational people but if you are living next door to this family and plan on staying for some time, you want to have peace and be able to feel comfortable in your new condo.
Message edited 2/20/2009 3:20:50 PM.
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| Posted 2/20/09 3:15 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
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Mama Cranky
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
I would not say anything to her.
I do not associate with people who have crazy outbursts, cannot control their temper, and curse in front of children.
Dog poop is no excuse to do these things. Yes, what your mom did was wrong, but your mom's mistake does not exempt this woman from behaving in a civilized manner. Nice axample she is setting for her own kids.
Had she called your mother out on it in a rational manner, then sure, extend the olive branch.
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| Posted 2/20/09 3:17 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Didn't even move in yet, and my Mom got into an argument with our neighbor......
Posted by KeithHernandez
but she doesn't even know if the woman touched the baby.....
oh wait...
I got confused.
wait, did this happen at home depot? In which case, how close was her hand at the time of the incident?
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| Posted 2/20/09 3:20 PM |
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