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newlywedT
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 793 total posts
Name:
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Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
I was talking with a father I know from DC's school a few weeks ago and he mentioned it was strange that he submitted (I assume to the school's office) a request that his daughter be placed in a kindergarten class with a few friends that she made in Pre-K. (I think there were 4 names on the list) but NONE of the kids ended up in his daughter's class.
I mentioned this to a mother I know from the school and she said that its not strange.
She had asked the school for her daughter to be put with 3 friends from Pre-K and was told:
"The school does not do that, in fact if they get a request for a child to be placed with specific kids they will make sure the kids ARE NOT put together"
What are your thoughts on that?
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Posted 10/7/19 10:08 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
You can’t request placement like that
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:12 AM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
I don't think you should be requesting placement unless you are asking for your child NOT to be with another, and for good reason. They choose classes based on ability and age, and some other factors. They need to balance it and cant take into account everyone's friendships. I do think it is odd that they would say they would go out of their way NOT to put them together. Maybe they said that to deter everyone else from asking lol
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:14 AM |
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Tulip9
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/14 597 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
My DD is very shy and started Kindergarten this year- the social worker asked me at Kindergarten evaluations if I wanted her placed with anyone to help ease her transition which I thought was great.
I can see schools being hesitant to place a group of students together- it may make it harder on the other kids to become friends with the established pack... but one kid to ease the transition I think is fine.
Message edited 10/7/2019 10:15:37 AM.
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:14 AM |
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Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
I would not make a request like that. That being said my son has been in the same school for three years and this year he was put in a class where he only knows one kid out of 20+. It has been really hard on him because he has been struggling to make friends when seemingly everyone else knows each other already.
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:16 AM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
You cannot ask for that. I think it is crazy helicopter parent to ask under normal circumstances. So no, I dont think its odd.
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:17 AM |
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newlywedT
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/11 793 total posts
Name:
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Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
whoops, I phrased it wrong.
I meant do you agree with this statement:
"if they get a request for a child to be placed with specific kids they will make sure the kids ARE NOT put together"
I understand the whole "not going along with the request" in the sense of "just ignore the request and we'll place kids based on XYZ criteria"
I don't understand the "we'll MAKE SURE they are not together". that almost seems vindictive. Like "how dare you request this, we'll make sure you get the opposite of what you want"
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:32 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Posted by newlywedT
I don't understand the "we'll MAKE SURE they are not together". that almost seems vindictive. Like "how dare you request this, we'll make sure you get the opposite of what you want"
Yeah, that seems a little petty, but I would never have asked her to be placed with certain kids anyway. I don't think that's appropriate.
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:39 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
I think the last part is inappropriate. Just say that they can’t allow for placement requests.
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:43 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by newlywedT
I don't understand the "we'll MAKE SURE they are not together". that almost seems vindictive. Like "how dare you request this, we'll make sure you get the opposite of what you want"
Yeah, that seems a little petty, but I would never have asked her to be placed with certain kids anyway. I don't think that's appropriate.
agreed
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:46 AM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Posted by Momma2015
Posted by newlywedT
I don't understand the "we'll MAKE SURE they are not together". that almost seems vindictive. Like "how dare you request this, we'll make sure you get the opposite of what you want"
Yeah, that seems a little petty, but I would never have asked her to be placed with certain kids anyway. I don't think that's appropriate.
I don’t think they’re being petty per se, I just think (especially in kindergarten) they want the kids to go in with an open mind for new friendships and not stick to an established BFF.
Unless of course like a pp mentioned a child is going to have a very hard transition and a familiar face would help. But I doubt that was the case in the OP.
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| Posted 10/7/19 10:50 AM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
I think the statement sounds unprofessional. While I believe they may do that in those circumstances, I can't believe they actually told a parent that.
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| Posted 10/7/19 11:06 AM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Probably by stating that, the school wants to make sure parents know better before making that request.
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| Posted 10/7/19 11:10 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
I would call their bluff on that....
I would find out the name of every child going into that school that year, put all of them on the list, and see how they can make sure my DC is not with ANYONE on that list.... 
Then, get a bunch of other parents to do the same, and see how many kids get one-on-one teachers....
I can't picture a school actually doing that. The logistics are just as difficult as trying to place them based on requests.
I fully understand not taking requests, but it does seem petty and stupid to try to make sure kids are NOT placed together.
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| Posted 10/7/19 11:16 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
I think their verbiage is off and does sound punitive.
I have made the request before. My reason is that I am very reliant on a parent for help with after school. It would be easier for her if my DS has the same homework and assignments as her son. When I made the request, I made it about the teacher...as in my DS should be with Mr. Smith because.... It makes it hard for them to say no.
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| Posted 10/7/19 11:29 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Posted by FirstMate
I think their verbiage is off and does sound punitive.
I have made the request before. My reason is that I am very reliant on a parent for help with after school. It would be easier for her if my DS has the same homework and assignments as her son. When I made the request, I made it about the teacher...as in my DS should be with Mr. Smith because.... It makes it hard for them to say no.
Our district sends out explicit verbiage each year that we can not request particular teachers, at any grade, unless there was an older sibling that had that teacher before. Making it about the teacher won't work in our district.
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| Posted 10/7/19 11:59 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by FirstMate
I think their verbiage is off and does sound punitive.
I have made the request before. My reason is that I am very reliant on a parent for help with after school. It would be easier for her if my DS has the same homework and assignments as her son. When I made the request, I made it about the teacher...as in my DS should be with Mr. Smith because.... It makes it hard for them to say no.
Our district sends out explicit verbiage each year that we can not request particular teachers, at any grade, unless there was an older sibling that had that teacher before. Making it about the teacher won't work in our district.
Same with us. They don't even entertain it all and I don't blame them. Can you imagine if every parent did this? It would be impossible for the school to make classes. And what if there is a teacher that nobody wanted? So she has 0 kids in her class while the other teachers have double the normal class size?
Honestly it should be a zero tolerance policy. Any requests for teacher or not to have certain teachers should be automatically tossed in the garbage.
It's a logistical nightmare.
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| Posted 10/7/19 12:10 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by FirstMate
I think their verbiage is off and does sound punitive.
I have made the request before. My reason is that I am very reliant on a parent for help with after school. It would be easier for her if my DS has the same homework and assignments as her son. When I made the request, I made it about the teacher...as in my DS should be with Mr. Smith because.... It makes it hard for them to say no.
Our district sends out explicit verbiage each year that we can not request particular teachers, at any grade, unless there was an older sibling that had that teacher before. Making it about the teacher won't work in our district.
Our school says the same thing but ime if you make a request they actually do honor it.
I find it odd that Rhett would go out of their way to separate kids that requested to be together. I wouldn't think any of them just ignoring requests but why put effort into doing the opposite? I would think they should have more important priorities to worry about. Maybe they've tried to comply and had bad experiences in the past.
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| Posted 10/7/19 12:21 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Since the information was second hand I wouldn't hold to much credit to the exact wording. Most people embellish : ). Most schools though will not approve requests to be with friends. Ours does not even take teacher requests unless your older child had them before. You can send in a letter requesting a teacher with certain "qualities" but that's about it.
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| Posted 10/7/19 12:22 PM |
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b2b777
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 4474 total posts
Name:
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Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
I wonder why they allow the request if a sibling had the teacher. Seems weird to me. But knowing that there is one teacher i would totally request for my younger child that my older child loved.
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| Posted 10/7/19 1:32 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19460 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
You can request who not to be in a class with if the child bullied your child and it was documented by the school. My dd was touched inappropriately on the playground last year by a boy who claimed he was playing tag, and hit her private parts. He had previously teased her, I made the request to not have our kids in the same class and they moved my DD after class assignments had gone out.
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| Posted 10/7/19 2:01 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Posted by b2b777
I wonder why they allow the request if a sibling had the teacher. Seems weird to me. But knowing that there is one teacher i would totally request for my younger child that my older child loved.
In our district this only works if you request NOT to have a teacher due to a prior bad experience with a sibling. You can’t request to get someone though.
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| Posted 10/7/19 2:09 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17792 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Did the school tell her that if you request kids won’t be put together or did a parent?
The rumor going around our school is if you request to be with a certain child or teacher you won’t get it but it’s coming from parents, not school employees.
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| Posted 10/7/19 7:06 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Our school actually encourages requesting ONE friend for kindergarten to help with the transition. Multiple students will not be granted though. And you cannot request a specific teacher...you can though request that your child NOT have a teacher IF their older sibling had a terrible experience.
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| Posted 10/7/19 7:07 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Do you agree with this statement from DC's school?
Our school has that policy too, although they don't word it as harshly. But I wouldn't be offended by it. The bottom line is that they can't accommodate everyone and it seems your school wants to discourage the requests. In our school, they do say that they make sure to include a couple of the same kids from one class into the next year's class, so that each child knows a couple of people at least. I realize this is not possible in pre-K or K because there was no prior class, however at that age students rarely know other students anyway.
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| Posted 10/7/19 7:38 PM |
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