Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

I always feel my side of the family gets shafted at events......we can only hold so many people in my home, and it's generally my DH's family always attending, and I never get to invite my side.

I can't even not invite X amount on his side in order to accomodate my people, and there is no "taking turns," because people get their panties in a bunch.

What's a mommy to do?

I don't want to do a hall or have it at a place, either.

I guess there's no solution?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

All or none. I would never stand for that, not fair at all. I would hold it in a KOC or something if I was too short of space in my home, and esp if my family was getting the shaft. Also...I would sooner do TWO family parties than leave my family out. All or none, jmo.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

I would never leave my family out. My family is all out of town but they are still invited to everything whether they show up or not

With space issues like a PP said it would be all or none for me.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

well.... at ds's christening my family sat in the den and were wispering and snickering about dh's family.....

so I decided No combined bday parties.....
We had dh's family one weekend, and then my family the other weekend.......

fast forward to the second bday - my mom was then starting to act tempermental said I should just mail people a slice of cake, said I don't need to have a party, so since ds bday fell a few days apart from Easter I just has my family celebrate it at easter.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

thank u for the responses.

part of the problem is some aunts of my DH have children with SOs (engaged, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc), and the Aunt's expect their children to be invited with their significant others --- which would be fine, but my DH has NO relationship with them and hasn't talked to them in years! not on the phone, not in person, and not even Facebook friends.

However, he is closer to his cousins on his mom's side, so if they come and the others don't, we get a lot of heat for it, so it's like we are forced to invite this strangers practically, or else it causes drama. it also leads to me having to cut back on my end of it.

I see what you are all saying, though.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

I guess I don't understand why your DH family gets preference? If it is important to you that your family attends then he needs to compromise. X number from your side and X number from his.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

I have two events in the same day. Like for birthdays, I invite Steve's family for breakfast and my family for dinner.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

honestly, i wouldn't care whose panties got all waded... i invite who i want to, and if someone doesn't make the cut. TOUGH SHEET!!!!!!!!

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

We take an all or nothing approach with the extended family. I wouldn't feel right inviting some of DH's aunts/uncles/cousins and not mine and vice versa. Fortunately, the two sides blend well. We just had DD's 1st birthday and had everyone—we had to have it out because we have a small house. For the rest of her birthdays (until she's 16!), it's probably going to be immediate family only: our parents and siblings. And a kiddie party with her friends.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

How about 2 different days? I know it's a lot of work but it's cheaper than having it out.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

I'd let their panties get in a bunch. I really can't deal with people who have to run their mouths about stupidty like this. If I can't afford to have everyone, than I'm inviting whom I want, plus its my wallet.

DH has a large extended family, but there are so many of them that if we invited them to every function, we would DEFINATELY have to go the hall route.

So we don't and thats that. DH is more than fine with this - he has a much closer relationship with 3 of his best friends from middle school, so they are the ones that are always on his side of the list.

If someone has a problem with it, they have my number - give me a call.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

I always invite my family. I may limit the family that I invite, cousins and whathaveyou. But I'd never just invite one side and not the other. That is not up for discussion.

Sorry you are dealing With that.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

We have 2 small parties. I really don't foresee both sides of our families together at one party any time in the near future.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

I would just eliminate all extended family. Just invite your & your DH parents, siblings and your siblings children. For special occasion pArties like 1st b-days, religious milestones, then invite the extended family and have it at a place. Its the only way not to hurt anyones feelings. Just say your scaling back the party size because there is no room. Your just having immediate family for cake or whatever....

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

You are a better woman than I, because all hell would have broken loose the first time DH's family tried this!

Either do immediate family only - or take the guest list and allocate half & half.

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

We can't fit everyone, but we invite everyone anyway... BOTH SIDES!

Are we crammed in? Yes. DO people sit on the floor? Yes. But it's a kid's birthday, it's usually cake and coffee, the kids run amok anyway. The important thing is that we're all together to celebrate!

I would invite everyone, cram them in, warn them that it will be tight. Everyone can be uncomfortable for an hour and a half to make your DC feel great on their birthday!!

Re: Do you ever feel like you can't have YOUR family members for parties?

Oh heck no!

DH has a huge family. Unless we are doing an indoor/outdoor combo party we can not fit everyone.
So we usually suck it up and do the hall/restaurant thing.
We have in the past used my parents or his parents homes for parties as well. Is that an option?

My best friend has a very large immediate family, as does her DH. Her solution is to have his family over on Saturday and her family over on Sunday. Works great for them.