Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Do you let your children come into bed with you? If so, up until what age? I’m a single mother of three young boys, one of whom is disabled and wakes multiple times at night, often up for an hour at least during which I need to supervise him as he can get into trouble. I generally get 5 hours of sleep a night. I also work full time. My sweet 7 year old boy begs to sleep in my bed at night, and while it breaks my heart to say no, I am so bone tired that I just need that half hour to myself to watch Bravo and guzzle a glass of wine so I can sleep until I am inevitably woken up at 2 am, etc. But I’ve been hearing stories lately of all these parents who let their kids stay in their beds until they’re 10 years old and now I feel like I’m being mean for saying no :(. I also feel like as he gets older and needs me less I’ll regret not letting him stay in my bed. Thoughts?

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

absolutely not! Even when I was a kid, my mom said no way and my brother would sleep in the hallway LOL. I layed in DD's bed with her ONCE, and it took like a week to break away from it because she wanted me to do it every day after that.

I don't believe in co-sleeping or any of that

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

No. She has never slept in our bed, not once. I tried to have her there one night when she had the flu and I wanted to keep any eye on her and she wasn’t having it. It was foreign to her.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I haaaaaaaaaaate sharing my bed. If I could kick DH out indefinitely I would, too. DD is almost 4 and she's the easy one so she rarely if ever asks to come into our bed at night. If she does, she had a bad dream or doesn't feel good and then I don't mind. On the opposite end... my DS is 10 months old and wakes up constantly at night no matter what I try so he often winds up in the bed with me so I can stick a boob in his mouth while I'm half asleep instead of getting up to tend to the incessant screaming. And I'm TIRED of it. It's no joke not getting enough sleep- there's a reason they use it to torture people. I *hope* to nip it in the bud once he stops nursing but pfft I don't even know how to. But anyway, TL;DR- you're not a bad mom! You need your time to yourself. I know I get pissed when he wakes up as soon as I settle down under the covers with my garbage TV, tea, and pile of snacks.

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

No. I only let them if they are really sick. They dont tend to ask otherwise.

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I want to say I feel like I’m in the vast minority in terms of it not being a thing in my house. Almost everyone I know says their kid(s) end up in bed with them at least occasionally.

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Never. She never even comes in to ask.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I have 4 sons and my 2nd son was a horrible sleeper so he ended up in the bed with us. He is now 10 and there are many nights he still comes in. If he wakes me up I bring him back to his room but alot of the time he stays in. It has gotten less the past few months but it is a hard habit to break and he is getting 2 big for us to all sleep comfortably. He is gradually realizing this himself.
None of my other boys ever tried to come into our bed.
My theory is if you haven't started the habit I wouldn't start now and also definitely not to fall asleep in your bed at this point.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Not in my bed because we can barely stand having the 2 of us in there- LOL.
But when she has had bad dreams in the past she would come in our room and sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor.
She went through a phase were that was happening a lot.
She is 9 now and hasn't done it in over a year I'd say

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

no.
never co-slept. DS was in his crib at 6 weeks in his own room.
on the weekends he'll lie down in our bed for a few minutes with DH, but then he goes to his room for sleep.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I have three boys. They all get tucked in to their own beds. If they wake up and come to me-
the 9 year old rarely asks anyway but he understands that our bed is small and we wouldn’t fit (me hubby and kid)
5 year old asks to snuggle and I let him
2 year old just climbs in. Can’t say no to that lol

They usually fall back asleep quickly and I ultimately move them back to their beds if I’m not passed out

I feel bad saying no so I usually don’t
But if I’m exhausted I just walk them back to their beds


You gotta keep yourself healthy and sane. So if that means not sharing sleep time then that’s what it is. Give them extra hugs if you feel guilty. They’ll be fine!

Message edited 2/4/2020 9:39:10 PM.

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes. I have an 8 and 5 year old and if they want to sleep w us they can, whenever, for however long they wish. To each their own but if our child is scared, wants to sleep with us we do not say no. They won;t want to be in our bed forever.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

So this is funny. I commented on this thread yesterday about how DD hasn't come in our room in a long time.
Well- my mouth to God's ears because last night at 4 am I wake up to her creeping in our room and coming over to me whispering that she had a bad dream
We got her sleeping bag out of the closet and she slept on our floor until she had to get up for school.
I guess i jinxed myself!

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Nope, kids in bed is not for me. Since my youngest turns 2 it's been very rare that we let a kid into our bed bc typically bi one gets any sleep that way. I typically hear them come downstairs and try to meet them halfway and walk them back to bed with some cuddles. My youngest sometimes tries to stealth crawl by me to dh's side bc he's too out of it to do anything but pull her into bed.

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes. My 4 year old used to just come into my bed, but now if he needs me/wants to cuddle he'll call for me and i'll go into his room for a little bit. My almost 2 year old was never a good sleeper so he will start out in his bed and at some point throughout the night come into mine. DH and I don't mind it and if it means we all sleep then it's worth it.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

That would be a no from me. I did not co sleep either. I need my sleep or I can’t function as a person.

Message edited 2/5/2020 9:54:48 AM.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes. Not all the time... but if they have a nightmare or once in a while when hubby is working overnight, we do a “sleepover”.

They also go to each other’s rooms if the conditions aren’t right for them in my bed.

I remember occasionally having a “sleepover” with my mom as a kid and my sister would crawl into my bed when sick or when she has a nightmare.

As for age... my 9 year old doesn’t really come anymore. My 8 year old loves to come. My 4 year old prefers to sleep by herself. When they were babies... it was hard to break, but now that they are older, we talk about it and they don’t get hooked.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Yes we do. They are only little for so long. We have a king size bed so there is enough room.
I can remember when I was little and had nightmares, I would go in and ask my mom to sleep with her, she'd say no so I would lay on the hard floor next to her bed. I never want my kids to feel the way I did when that happened.

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I have 2 girls and are totally different sleepers as babies/toddlers/kids. My oldest needed to sleep with us and my younger one could never fall asleep unless she is in her own bed and by herself. I had a lot of friends tell me they would never let their kids in their bed but i didn't let it bother me.. I would have her start in her bed but let her come in my bed during the night if she needed it. By 9 years old she finally slept straight thru the night in her bed and never cam back into our bed again.

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Never. If I could, I would kick my DH out as well. LOL!

My son was a terrible sleeper until 22 months old and even then he never came into our bed.

My son is the biggest cuddler so I always make time to cuddle with him either after school or right before bed. Sometimes, he'll wake up right when I'm about to get out of bed for the day and I always let him snuggle then too.

My sister on the other hand has 1-2 kids in her bed every night. She said she hasn't had a good night's sleep in over 6 years. No thanks!!!!

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

I sleep terrible when she's in the bed.
On vacation she likes to share a bed with me and I agree because it's not often. So I take one bed with her and DH gets a bed all to himself!
OMG. She ends up moving diagonally with her feet in my chest, my stomach, my ribs. And trying to move her is like moving dead weight.
And I end up with 1/4 of the bed, practically sleeping on the night stand.
I could never have her in the bed with the 2 of us. I'd need to move in with a chiropractor!

That's why we got the sleeping bag- you want to sleep with us because you are scared, that's fine- but you can sleep on the floor.
At 9 years old they can sleep anywhere with no pain. Me, not so much.

Message edited 2/5/2020 1:20:45 PM.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Do you let your children come into bed with you?

If my children wake up and come to my room they are always welcomed. If it’s really uncomfortable my husband will bring them back to their beds or I will go sleep in their beds. When we travel we get 2 queen beds and my husband and I get one kid each for the night.
When they come to my bed I am exhausted and don’t have the energy to put them back and go comfort them, easier to do from my bed.

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?

Re: Do you let your children come into bed with you?