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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
In light of the recent epidemic of bullying/cyber-bullying and the like, lets discuss how we will or imagine we will handle our kids as young adults.
If my parents snooped around my stuff when I was younger, then they did a great job hiding it. I honestly do not believe that my parents did any of that.
I'm not certain I can ensure I will be the same with my kids(s). DH already said there is no way we are letting our kid(s) have computers in the bedrooms.
I can totally see myself snooping around to make sure my kid(s) are happy and healthy, etc.
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Posted 10/8/10 10:19 AM  |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Oh, I'm snooping.
My feeling is if you're putting on the internet, it's fair game for me to look at.
I also agree no computers in their rooms. I don't know if I'm going to agree when they're 16-17...
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:21 AM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
I had a computer in my bedroom when we first got one..i was in 7th grade. there was no internet craze back then. and it was the only computer so i had my dad in my room using it sometimes..LOL.
then when the internet started i think i was a senior in HS we had a computer in the living room. My parents were pretty cool with me about it. but my brother is a computer whiz and my mom always said "if the FBI shows up at my door, im just the babysitter."
they didnt really monitor us too much, but things were also new back then, and they also trusted us. When my son is old enough,things will definitely be monitored.
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:21 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
No computer in rooms. No facebook pages.. when they are old enough I will have all access to the pages. I will snoop!!!! Especially in today's world.. tooo much happening out there.
I will even GPS the phone.
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:26 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by Linda1003
No computer in rooms. No facebook pages.. when they are old enough I will have all access to the pages. I will snoop!!!! Especially in today's world.. tooo much happening out there.
I will even GPS the phone.
All of the above for me as well. Our boys can hang out together and complain about how horrible we are to them 
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:28 AM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
I am very open and honest with my son... When he asks a question (if it's appropriate for me) I will answer honestly.
I started talking to my son about sex when he was about 7...
The reason why I bring this up is because my son is VERY OPEN with me... Of course, I'm sure there will be things he will keep from me that I don't NEED to know. But I am as confident as I can be that he'll come to me if he has a problem... He always had. He even snitches on himself ( )
So as a (long winded) answer to your question- No. I don't think I'll need to snoop around.
I don't think my parents did and I turned out sorta ok.
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:29 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
he can privately poop and privately um....have some 'me' time when he comes of age.
anything else is fair game. safety trumps prvacy in my house.
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:31 AM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by katiebug
Posted by Linda1003
No computer in rooms. No facebook pages.. when they are old enough I will have all access to the pages. I will snoop!!!! Especially in today's world.. tooo much happening out there.
I will even GPS the phone.
All of the above for me as well. Our boys can hang out together and complain about how horrible we are to them
I don't consider having access to a fb page "snooping" In this day & age it's just another form of socializing. Our parents kept an eye on who we were hanging out with, no?
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:31 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by katiebug
Posted by Linda1003
No computer in rooms. No facebook pages.. when they are old enough I will have all access to the pages. I will snoop!!!! Especially in today's world.. tooo much happening out there.
I will even GPS the phone.
All of the above for me as well. Our boys can hang out together and complain about how horrible we are to them
 Exactly!!!!!
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:33 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by HeathKernandez
Posted by katiebug
Posted by Linda1003
No computer in rooms. No facebook pages.. when they are old enough I will have all access to the pages. I will snoop!!!! Especially in today's world.. tooo much happening out there.
I will even GPS the phone.
All of the above for me as well. Our boys can hang out together and complain about how horrible we are to them
I don't consider having access to a fb page "snooping" In this day & age it's just another form of socializing. Our parents kept an eye on who we were hanging out with, no?
I agree. But I think our kids will feel differently when the time comes. 
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:37 AM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by katiebug
Posted by HeathKernandez
Posted by katiebug
Posted by Linda1003
No computer in rooms. No facebook pages.. when they are old enough I will have all access to the pages. I will snoop!!!! Especially in today's world.. tooo much happening out there.
I will even GPS the phone.
All of the above for me as well. Our boys can hang out together and complain about how horrible we are to them
I don't consider having access to a fb page "snooping" In this day & age it's just another form of socializing. Our parents kept an eye on who we were hanging out with, no?
I agree. But I think our kids will feel differently when the time comes.
TOUGH NOOGIES....
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:38 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Your post reminded me that I never posted this PSA I received from a mom in my son's class.
PSA: Wii / xBox or any other gaming unit
Thanks for the reminder!
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:38 AM |
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JoJo2010
Happy Family
Member since 8/09 6266 total posts
Name:
JO
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by Linda1003
No computer in rooms. No facebook pages.. when they are old enough I will have all access to the pages. I will snoop!!!! Especially in today's world.. tooo much happening out there.
I will even GPS the phone.
ME TOO!!
The computer that they can use will be LIMITED! I will only allow certain time on there unless its for homework and you bet your A S S I will be checking EVERYTHING(until a certain age) but there is just WAYYY to much going on out there So I have to totally agree with all of the above!
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:40 AM |
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
i really have no idea how i will handle things, but i am 100% anti-snoop camp. i think it's important to teach and respect privacy, my parents did this for me and i will do it for my children.
yes it's a different world, but i still believe that if rules are set they should be followed. if there was any reason for concern at any point i would like to think i would be upfront with my kid and not snoop.
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:44 AM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by doublestroller
i really have no idea how i will handle things, but i am 100% anti-snoop camp. i think it's important to teach and respect privacy, my parents did this for me and i will do it for my children.
yes it's a different world, but i still believe that if rules are set they should be followed. if there was any reason for concern at any point i would like to think i would be upfront with my kid and not snoop.
ITA
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:47 AM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by doublestroller
i really have no idea how i will handle things, but i am 100% anti-snoop camp. i think it's important to teach and respect privacy, my parents did this for me and i will do it for my children.
yes it's a different world, but i still believe that if rules are set they should be followed. if there was any reason for concern at any point i would like to think i would be upfront with my kid and not snoop.
I def understand where you're coming from but what if it's not your kid that's not following the rules...what if your child is being bullied or harrassed? KWIM/
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:48 AM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by doublestroller
i really have no idea how i will handle things, but i am 100% anti-snoop camp. i think it's important to teach and respect privacy, my parents did this for me and i will do it for my children.
yes it's a different world, but i still believe that if rules are set they should be followed. if there was any reason for concern at any point i would like to think i would be upfront with my kid and not snoop.
See I have no problem confronting and being upfront my kid(s)....it's more of whether or not they are being honest with me. Because let's face it.......they may not be - it's the age.
I just don't want to be one of those parents who never saw it coming. I think I'd rather toss privacy through the window if it meant preventing a tragedy.......
UGH...it's awful just thinking about the whole thing.
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:50 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
I'll be snooping and not ashamed to admit it, and I've already told DH no computers in their bedrooms..if they have a laptop it's in full view.the only thing is with smartphones/iphones and blackberries being so prevelant and prob will be the only phones that ppl use soon, it's going to be much easier to get on the internet without it being in full view...so I'll be snooping full on snooping
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:51 AM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Oh jeez. My mother snooped MAJORLY. She knew EVERYTHING that was going on in my life. I hated it then but I get it now! I will definitely be snooping!
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:51 AM |
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by Linda1003
Posted by doublestroller
i really have no idea how i will handle things, but i am 100% anti-snoop camp. i think it's important to teach and respect privacy, my parents did this for me and i will do it for my children.
yes it's a different world, but i still believe that if rules are set they should be followed. if there was any reason for concern at any point i would like to think i would be upfront with my kid and not snoop.
I def understand where you're coming from but what if it's not your kid that's not following the rules...what if your child is being bullied or harrassed? KWIM/
i would like to think that i would have somewhat of a clue as to what is going on just as my mother did with me, and then confront it head on. it's not easy and i may fail, but i won't adopt the "it's okay to snoop philosophy" as it's not what i believe.
i am hoping to have enough of an open dialogue with my kids and be able to pick up on behavior cues to know when to step in and not, but who knows. i have to see what the peer pressure is like, who my kids are hanging out with and how they feel about situations and themselves, before i can say what i will or will not do.
it's hard and i'm not looking forward to it!
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:55 AM |
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ny55angel
car seat tech & geek :-)
Member since 2/06 4346 total posts
Name:
P
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by Ophelia
he can privately poop and privately um....have some 'me' time when he comes of age.
anything else is fair game. safety trumps prvacy in my house.
My 11.5 year old does NOT have a facebook (like most of her friends) and JUST got a cell phone. She has it for the purpose of contacting me if she's going to stay late at school for a club, and to let me know she's on the school bus in the afternoon. she also texts with family members on it (my mom, my dad, my sister, my aunt, her dad, etc) Last night I was looking through it to delete some of the texts and found an odd 917 number that she was having a conversation with. when asked about it she told me it's one of her friends from school. We discussed that she has the phone for a specific reason, and she can talk to her friends on the HOUSE phone if she'd like.
point being - I monitor her - I have always told her that I am the mom, and if I want to look through her stuff I can. That I am not doing it to be "mean" but I want to make sure that everything is okay with her all the time. She knows that from the beginning, so I am hoping it curbs any arguments we may have in a few years when she's a teenager !
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| Posted 10/8/10 10:59 AM |
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by JennyPenny
Oh jeez. My mother snooped MAJORLY. She knew EVERYTHING that was going on in my life. I hated it then but I get it now! I will definitely be snooping!
i think there can be a difference between snooping and knowing what is going on. did she do things without you knowing? or did she openly tell you that she will do certain things?
see i don't agree with installing a nanny-cam and not telling a person he/she is being recorded. if one is installed and the person is told that is what is being done, that's a different story. either way i don't like it, but the first scenario is for me "snooping", the second is setting rules and being open about it.
i would like to think the same approach can be applied to kids...
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:01 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
No cell phones until they can pay for them, no tv in room (we didn't have them and it taught us to compromise and share) and definitely no computers in the room.
I will not snoop per say, but will ask plenty of questions and let my kids know they don't have to hide things from me.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:02 AM |
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ruby
you rang?
Member since 6/08 5573 total posts
Name:
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
I will "snoop" if I feel it's necessary without a doubt. I'll try to have as open a relationship as I can with them so they feel comfortable coming to me with things or people that are hurting them, or things they're unsure of. While I'll try not to make snooping an ongoing practice, I will monitor (or at least try my best to) everything that goes on, like internet, phone, etc. No computers in the rooms, full access to fb pages (or whatever is the next thing when they're that age). I will ask them where they are going, who they are going with, I want friend's phone numbers, I want to know who's driving, etc. I don't care if they don't like it, I don't care if they're mad at me for it. I'm their parent, it's my job to protect them as best as I can from whatever I can. One day when they are parents they will understand.
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:04 AM |
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dajc23
My Loves :)
Member since 1/09 4980 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Let's discuss privacy......for our children.
Posted by JennyPenny
Oh jeez. My mother snooped MAJORLY. She knew EVERYTHING that was going on in my life. I hated it then but I get it now! I will definitely be snooping!
Same here! I fought with her constantly over it too.
But now I get it and I'm pretty sure my daughter won't even be able to leave the house
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| Posted 10/8/10 11:08 AM |
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