Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

I don't think you ever ready to lose a parent. You don't see your parent age. You just want them forever.

Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

I can answer from my experience, I lost my dad when I was 11 and my mom when I was 21~ It was a very difficult time during my wedding but an even more difficult time when I was pregnant, and now that my little girl is 2 it is so hard, it saddens me that she will never get to meet her grandparents, they never got to hold her, hug her, watch her grow..
People deal with the death of loved ones very differently and I could never try and compare how I feel of my loss to the way another person feels about their loss.

Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

i have a little prospective on this. my aunt passed away last year at 40- her daughters ( my cousins) were 13 and barely 5 at the time. it was extremely sad watching these two little girls greive their mom, and thinking about them growing up without her...especially the 5 year old.
BUT, my grandmother passed away a week ago at 79 years old. maybe its because its more fresh in my mind... but it was just as sad, if not sadder, to watch my dad and his brothers grieve for their mom who they had seen basically everyday for over 50 years, and who they had spent the last 2 years caring for after she had a stroke. sure, you can say she had a long life, but that long life makes it even harder to see her go...
like somebody else said, i don't think anyones every ready to loose a parent, regardless of age, health, etc....

Message edited 2/12/2008 8:35:19 AM.

Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

to everyone who lost a loved one i first have to say i'm sorry for your loss. it su***

i lost my mother when she was 65, 4 months before my wedding. i was 31. it was the most dreadful thing ever. nothing could have been worse. she was sick so we knew it was coming but we hoped she would last a little longer.

when i lose my dad, which we all know we will eventually have to say goodbye, i can only hope he is at least 99 and even then, it will be dreadful.

no matter which way you look at it, you're losing a parent, a piece of you.

Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

I lost my mom when I was 20 and even though I believe it's never easy, I think it's much harder when you're younger. Me and my mom were best friends and it doesn't help that my dads a piece of **** who went off to a different country 2 years after my mom passed to start a whole new family...
I feel like I missed out on so much, just thinking about my wedding day makes me sad that she won't be there.
It's been almost 6 years and I still feel as much pain as I did the day it happened.

Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

To aswer the question in my own opinion- Just based on knowing people who lost parents when they were young, let's say younger than they set milestones, such as graduation and marriage, etc., I think it is extremely more traumatizing when you are younger to lose a parent. When a parent is older when they die, the adult child can at least look back on memories such as being with them on their wedding day or with their grandchild. Also, if a parent dies when the child is younger than say college age, there is a huge family shift as well, such as selling a childhood home or a parent remarrying quickly. These things are extremely upsetting. Many people never really recover emotionally.

Message edited 2/14/2008 5:23:52 PM.

Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

Whenever someone dies young - the most upsetting part is thinking about all the events they will miss out on. Two of my grandparents died young. They never got to see us graduate from high school, college, missed countless birthdays, happy events, sad events. all of our weddings.... Plus those mourning them have so many more years to miss them... either ways it's tough,, but you have peace of mind when they live a full life...JMO

Message edited 2/14/2008 7:04:10 PM.

Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

I do think that losing a parent at a young age is completely TRAGIC. My dad passed 2 yrs ago and all I can think of is the would haves, could haves etc... he never met my dd, he will never meet my future children and most of my life will be spent without the father I knew. I agree that losing a parent is hard but I do think its EXTRA hard not having them for the remainder of SO many years. Just my own personal feelings.
*ALSO...I needed to add that it changes the family dynamics. We now have to look out for my mom whose miserable, we barely (siblings) get along anymore...its honestly a true nightmare...IMO

Message edited 2/15/2008 11:43:49 PM.

Re: do you think loosing a parent when they are younger is more tragic then if they have lived a full life?

I agree that it's tragic to lose a parent at any age, but yes, I also believe it's more tragic to lose a parent at a younger age.

My story... I was 24 when my Mom died. She was 56. I did not have my Mom there when I met my DH. I also didn't have her in my life when I got married - and she will not be there when I start a family. To me these are HUGE events that any girl would want her Mother to be there for. Especially if they're very close to her. I even asked my Mom the night before she died to promise me she would be there for my wedding & when I have a baby. She of course couldn't speak at that time, but I know she heard me as the tears rolled down her face.

With that said, I at least had my Mom by my side as I grew up. As I graduated HS & College. She was there to guide me though many decisions & today I feel the strength & knowledge I have is from her.

Now, fast forward to my Niece & Nephew. Two weeks after my Nieces 6th birthday she lost her Dad. My Nephew was 10. I've never seen two kids love their Dad as much as these kids did/do. Their Dad/my Brother died at the age of 32. They'll never have Dad there to watch them graduate, date, go to college, marry & have children of their own. To me...this is far more tragic then someone losing a parent at the age of 90.

Message edited 2/16/2008 8:50:08 AM.