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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I would sort of force myself on the hosts....because usually they would say no. I wouldn't be able NOT to...
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Posted 12/29/08 12:00 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
Name:
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I would most certainly offer something, a dinner out or a couple take-outs/grocery runs.
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:11 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I would go shopping with them & pay for groceries & then offer to pay for dinner one night.
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:11 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
the only persons house I really stay at for extended periods of time is my Dad's
and he would laugh if I offered to pay for anything
I did bring 2 bottles of wine this year- but normally he buys everything and asks what we want before we get there so he has it
if it was a friend - I would take them out to dinner and pay
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:27 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I have stayed many times at the homes of others. I always offer to help cook, clean and often pay for groceries. I also take the hosts out for a meal, or pay for take out, whatever the plan is. I figure I am saving the cost of a hotel, I can at least offer to pay for meals and help out. When I stay with my aunt, I spend most of my time with her in the kitchen, because we spend hours talking and catching up.
As the host, I wouldn't really expect it, but I always appreciate when people offer to help out and when it comes to preparing and cleaning up after meals, I often accept. As far as paying, again, I appreciate the offer, but don't always accept.
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:41 PM |
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MissRadiant
Happily Ever After
Member since 9/08 2534 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I would at least take the host out to dinner. I am not the type to eat in if I am staying in someone's house so I wouldn't offer to pay for the groceries. I would actually be offended if someone stayed with me and offered money for the groceries.
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:44 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by MissRadiant
I would actually be offended if someone stayed with me and offered money for the groceries.
can I ask why this would "offend" you?
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:45 PM |
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MissRadiant
Happily Ever After
Member since 9/08 2534 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by MissRadiant
I would actually be offended if someone stayed with me and offered money for the groceries.
can I ask why this would "offend" you?
I would feel like the person was "paying for their stay". Maybe because only family or close friends stay with us is why I would feel that way. I feel like if I am going to cook its just adding a little extra to what I would have made anyway. I am weird like that but to me (not taking away from anyone or their opinions) if you are my guest its because I invited you and it is my responsibility to make sure that you are comfortable. If it were going out to eat every night then that would be a little different. First time I treat, but after that we are going dutch.
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:49 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Honestly, it never occurred to me to offer a host money for anything (other than take out).
However, I woudl take them out for dinner and do a grocery run if they needed something. PLus a hostess gift.
As a hostess, I would also never accept money for food and such- especially if the guest was family.
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:54 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by MissRadiant
I would feel like the person was "paying for their stay". Maybe because only family or close friends stay with us is why I would feel that way. I feel like if I am going to cook its just adding a little extra to what I would have made anyway. I am weird like that but to me (not taking away from anyone or their opinions) if you are my guest its because I invited you and it is my responsibility to make sure that you are comfortable. If it were going out to eat every night then that would be a little different. First time I treat, but after that we are going dutch.
I understand what you are saying...but I think the "offer" is a kind gesture...not offensive in the least.
I don't think it takes away from the host at all to make such a gesture...I think the LACK of the gesture takes away from the guest.
but this entire topic is so far from being "offensive"...I was just struck by the word usage.
thanks for answering me. 
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:55 PM |
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MissRadiant
Happily Ever After
Member since 9/08 2534 total posts
Name:
N
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by MissRadiant
I would feel like the person was "paying for their stay". Maybe because only family or close friends stay with us is why I would feel that way. I feel like if I am going to cook its just adding a little extra to what I would have made anyway. I am weird like that but to me (not taking away from anyone or their opinions) if you are my guest its because I invited you and it is my responsibility to make sure that you are comfortable. If it were going out to eat every night then that would be a little different. First time I treat, but after that we are going dutch.
I understand what you are saying...but I think the "offer" is a kind gesture...not offensive in the least.
I don't think it takes away from the host at all to make such a gesture...I think the LACK of the gesture takes away from the guest.
but this entire topic is so far from being "offensive"...I was just struck by the word usage.
thanks for answering me.
ITA. The offer in itself is nice. Poor word usage on my end but I am glad now you know what I mean.
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| Posted 12/29/08 12:57 PM |
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MeeshMosh
last month on leave!
Member since 6/08 4551 total posts
Name:
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
wow! i never actually thought about this... the only time i ever stayed at a home other than family for longer than a weekend was when i visted my friend from HS upstate.
now that i recall the trip, we went out to dinner twice (which we went dutch on both times) and then the two other nights we cooked @ her place... which one night, she had all the needed items at her place and the next night, we had to buy food so we went dutch on that too.
but i do remember that one morning i woke up before her and cleaned her whole kitchen from the night before
Message edited 12/29/2008 1:56:29 PM.
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:06 PM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
well.. most of the time when we stay at somebodys house for that long, its at our parents... so they usually don't mid taking care of food or whatever... sometimes DH and i will cook one night or something.
BUT a friend of ours lived in germany for awhile and we went to visit him and stayed at his place... we bought him dinner a couple nights, and i think we even gave him a few bucks for the food we had eaten at his house.
i think it depends on whos house it is...
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:16 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I would offer to help. I would probably go to the market with my hostess and pay for something. If she REFUSED, I would insist on taking my hosts out for a nice meal to thank them.
However, when people stay at my house I do not want or expect anything. I like to take care of people.
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:18 PM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by DaniRella
I would not only bring a TON of stuff to the house I was staying at: like, offer to make one of the dinners and bring it with me, bring a bunch of snacks/wine, appetizers, soft drinks, etc. and I would bring a bunch of desserts. I usually either buy from a nice bakery or bake something good from scratch. I am pretty fanatical about bringing stuff to a house and making sure I help out the entire time and contribute.
If it was my first time at the house I would bring a thoughtful gift -- If it was Christmas time I would bring whatever gifts I normally give plus something nice for having us there for a few days.
I would also, when they order dinner, insist on paying for one of the dinners -- saying, 'let me treat - you had us over'. If we went out to dinner I would make sure to get the waiter and pay for the dinner since they were hosting us and having us stay for four days.
I know I'm a little crazy when it comes to this stuff but I always say - it is better to go overboard and have too much or give too much than to have them talking about you when you leave because you did nothing and brought nothing. The worst is when people show up, empty handed, starving and eat you out of house and home!
ETA: I don't think I would offer to "buy" their groceries -- I would just, like I wrote above, bring stuff myself.
I totally agree with the above.
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:20 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by CoopersMom01
If I was the host, I would never expect any of my guests to contribute to the cost of food. If I were the guest though, I would insist on making at least one meal with food I bought myself. But that's just me.
same here.
or i would take the whole clan out to for a meal... somewhere along those lines.
it also depends on how close and comfortable i am with the host
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:21 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I have only stayed at my relatives' homes in Italy for longer than a night. When I am there I do not offer to do a single thing bc they would be VERY offended, and yes I am using the correct word 
Offering to pay, cook or clean up is laughable because they would never allow it.
I always come with a generous gift and give it to them the last night that I am there ( on top of all the fun stuff I bring ) because this is the only acceptable form of gratitude!
My mother has the same mindset so I am used to it. . . if I was staying at a friends' house HERE, I would definitely offer to help with the expenses but I can't really imagine someone being okay with that.
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:21 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by Kara
I technically feel it is the responsibility of the host and guests have no obligation to offer to pay for meals. HOWEVER, I would always take the hosts out to dinner one night and offer to make one of the grocery runs. I'd also offer to make things / bring things with me for everyone to share during the time I'm there. I'd try to make at least one of the grocery runs for them (or tag along and pay).
When I host, I never expect anyone to offer... So far, no one ever has offered to chip in. That's okay with me.
ITA
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:34 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Oh yes, I would offer to buy dinner one night..something....absolutely.
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:39 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by MissRadiant
I would actually be offended if someone stayed with me and offered money for the groceries.
I agree. I would never want my guests to feel like they have to pay for their board.
I, as a guest, would pay for at least one dinner out and pick up the check on some other outings or take out but I would not offer money for groceries. I would bring a care basket with me as well...coffee, tea, jams, etc.
As a host, I never expect my guests to pay for their meals with us whether at home or out no matter how long they are staying. I would also be horrified if they did laundry or broke out my vacuum.
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:45 PM |
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legallyblonde
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 850 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
As a guest, I would insist on taking the host and the family out for dinner on one of the nights to give the host a break and as a thank you.
As a host, I would never expect a guest to do that or pay for anything. That's just me though.
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:47 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
As a host, I would resist all attempts of my guests to pay for any food.
As a guest, I would repeatedly offer money/order take out/try to take my hosts out and if they refused, I would send them a "thank you" gift card to a restaurant or something like that.
We just had lots of family with us for 6 nights. We had purchased all the food ahead of time, but my mom and DH's parents picked up extra milk/bread, etc for us throughout their stay if they were out and about.
My mother tried to slip us money which we evaded, then she bought me a bunch of tupperware and wouldn't let me pay her back so she got by me.
DH's parents picked up take out one night and went over-board on their gifts for us and DD.
IMO and according to my family, your guests should have at least offered you tupperware or take out at some point during their stay. It's the right thing to do IMO No host should expect it, but no guest should over look it.
Message edited 12/29/2008 1:52:07 PM.
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| Posted 12/29/08 1:49 PM |
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I would bring a generous gift AND offer to at least make/purchase some food for the house...
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| Posted 12/29/08 2:24 PM |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
I recently stayed at my BFF's house for a week...when we went to the grocery store, I insisted on paying for the groceries on the first trip, I was prepared for an arguement and won.  We went other times and I did not pay, which was fine.
When we were there, I cooked (but I love to and they love when I do) and I did my fair share of dishes and cleaning up after myself and DH ,including stripping the bed, doing laundry - sheets and towels.
Sometimes when we went out for a meal we paid or they paid, sometimes my BFF's mom paid. It's all good.
I could never go to someone's house and not at least offer.
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| Posted 12/29/08 2:51 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: etiquette QOTD...if you stayed at someone's house for 4 days
Posted by legallyblonde
As a guest, I would insist on taking the host and the family out for dinner on one of the nights to give the host a break and as a thank you.
As a host, I would never expect a guest to do that or pay for anything. That's just me though.
Same here.
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| Posted 12/29/08 2:53 PM |
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