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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
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~ THERESA ~
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Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Okay, no flames here. I should be thankful that my daughter adores her Nonna, but still it hurts...
Tonight dh and I celebrated our birthdays with family (mine is tomorrow and his is on Monday), and our families came over our house to celebrate. Both sets of grandparents, great-grandparents, aunt/uncles and cousins for my little Gianna. She's a very lucky girl to have so many close family members!
Anyway, when I was holding G, she reached out for my MIL (who we all know that I've had issues with in the past - she drives me nuts and is a spiteful woman). Fine. I handed the baby over to Nonna and that was that. Later on, maybe four more times, she wanted to go to NO ONE else but my MIL (her Nonna). She practically leaped out of my arms to go to her. There my MIL is with that shiit-eating grin on her face each time.
Is it normal that I feel badly about this? Has anyone else experienced this? I thought that I was THE one and only for my little girl, and all of a sudden, she wants someone other than me. It's breaking my heart! Can someone ease my mind that this is totally normal? My heart is still in my asss... 
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Posted 12/12/09 10:22 PM  |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Awwwwww
She was probably giving her licks of icing or something She loves Mommy best, you know that
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:23 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Posted by KateDevine
Awwwwww
She was probably giving her licks of icing or something She loves Mommy best, you know that
awe, thanks... So I'm totally hormonal being 27 weeks pregnant, but I'm in tears right now thinking of this. I know that I'm being ridiculous, but it's really bothering me. Ugh! Hormones!!! 
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:25 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
that would upset/annoy me too!!! but your her mommy and she knows that 
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:25 PM |
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Hotmamma408
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/08 692 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Totally normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Similar situation and I don't dislike my mom! This happened to me when I went to pick DS up from my mom's (she watches him 2-3 days a week). I went to take him home and he kept leaning over to get back into my Mom's arms. I totally love my mom and I love that he loves her but...I cried the whole way home! Then I started feeling guilty that I shouldn't be working, I should be spending more time with DS...on and on and on! Knife in the chest!
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:27 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
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The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
DD does that every time she sees my SIL. She is two.
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:28 PM |
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JRD2008
CT. here we come!!
Member since 5/08 2944 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
My 19 month old DS adores my mother, they have a very special relationship. Whenever she is around, he wants no one but her, including me. It hurt at first, as a matter of fact, I posted something similar over the summer. Now I try to remember that I will always be the # 1 woman in Joey's life (well, until he gets married and I try to focus on how lucky Joey is to have such a wonderful bond with someone other than his parents.
to you!!
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:29 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Thanks for the replies...
Do any of you feel like a total assss when it's actually happening? I know it's my insecurity, but I felt like "wow, my baby hates me."
Is this something that mothers just get used to?
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:30 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
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~ THERESA ~
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
AND... Do you think at 11mos old, it's possible that my dd already has a favorite relative? Just my luck that it's my MIL lol...
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:32 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
My son does this with my MIL and FIL but it doesn't bother me. Sorry you feel that way.
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:37 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Awww try to relax sweetie, you are NUMERO UNO, she's just enjoying the "novelty" of Nonna!!!!
At this age I don't think it's possible for her to have a favorite?? I think babies this age are just little love sponges and are super receptive when someone is loving on them. I'm sure the pg hormones don't help, combined with a complicated past history it's bound to feel "threatening" in a way. Try to let her enjoy her grandma, who will NEVER replace you!!!!!!
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:39 PM |
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Chicken92305
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/06 684 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
i do not have the best relationship with my MIL...soon to be EX MIL...anyway, i used to get upset and annoyed too whenever DD would want her nanny...because she also had that sh*t eating grin each time too and made her comments, but now i just look at it as no big deal because she doesnt see her everyday, and when she does, i know that she has a good time with her and im greatful that she has a good relationship with her.
DD is her "favorite" which bothers me because she never had any girls, so i feel like DS is a little left out,and because DD is 4 and can do more and DS is 2... but...thats a whole other issue  i think that kids enjoy different attention from different relatives, i know my DS has a special bond with my dad they play certain games together and i feel lucky that my kids have grandparents in their life that actually want to be close , i cant tell you how many people i know whos children do not even really know their grandparents or who live in another state or who are no longer alive.....Anyway...i totally understand how you feel, but you know that there is nobody like mommy us mommies could never be replaced!!!! 
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:41 PM |
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eddiesmommy
best buds!
Member since 5/09 11524 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Posted by monkeybride
My son does this with my MIL and FIL but it doesn't bother me. Sorry you feel that way.
DS does this with all his grandparents...we joke that there is a higherarchy depending on who is around...
If its just me and DH, its me he wants.
If its us and my ILs
Its grandpa
Me
Dad
Grandma
If its my parents and us
its my mom
my dad
me
DH
We always get bumped to the bottom if the grandparents are around. I used to do the same thing to my parents if my grandparents were around. I think its bc they spoil them and there are less rules with grandparents, so by defualt they "like" them better, but dont necessarily love them more.
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:42 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
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~ THERESA ~
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Posted by colette
Awww try to relax sweetie, you are NUMERO UNO, she's just enjoying the "novelty" of Nonna!!!!
At this age I don't think it's possible for her to have a favorite?? I think babies this age are just little love sponges and are super receptive when someone is loving on them. I'm sure the pg hormones don't help, combined with a complicated past history it's bound to feel "threatening" in a way. Try to let her enjoy her grandma, who will NEVER replace you!!!!!!
thanks!!! I feel like I've been one huge walking hormone who has been pregnant FOREVER (probably the hormones talking again!).
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:42 PM |
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Hotmamma408
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/08 692 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Posted by nyteacher13
AND... Do you think at 11mos old, it's possible that my dd already has a favorite relative? Just my luck that it's my MIL lol...
Yes I feel like a jerk (this is new to me too!) and I do think it is possible they have a fav. I had to laugh at your last sentence...thats always the way isn't it?
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:44 PM |
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
i actually love it when my DD's do this, it gives me a break 
you may want to look at it this way to make you feel better: be happy that she is able to identify and socialize with others. it's not fun to have a clingy, whiny, "i want only mommy" kid attached to your leg at all times. by letting and encouraging this bond, you are helping her socially now and in the future...
i have found it goes in phases. i am at home with both DD's but they  adore daddy. DD#1 has always been daddy's girl, and now DD#2 has started  . when he is around it's "mom who?". but there are times when i'm the one they want, especially when they are hurt and/or not feeling well. i think it's totally normal...
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:47 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
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~ THERESA ~
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Posted by eager2BeOB
Posted by nyteacher13
AND... Do you think at 11mos old, it's possible that my dd already has a favorite relative? Just my luck that it's my MIL lol...
Yes I feel like a jerk (this is new to me too!) and I do think it is possible they have a fav. I had to laugh at your last sentence...thats always the way isn't it?
Always!!! She's like 2' tall and tiny, so Gianna probably thinks she's an elf or something...
hahahahaha!!! I just made myself laugh out loud... Probably the hormones again!
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:47 PM |
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Hotmamma408
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/08 692 total posts
Name:
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Posted by nyteacher13
Posted by eager2BeOB
Posted by nyteacher13
AND... Do you think at 11mos old, it's possible that my dd already has a favorite relative? Just my luck that it's my MIL lol...
Yes I feel like a jerk (this is new to me too!) and I do think it is possible they have a fav. I had to laugh at your last sentence...thats always the way isn't it?
Always!!! She's like 2' tall and tiny, so Gianna probably thinks she's an elf or something...
hahahahaha!!! I just made myself laugh out loud... Probably the hormones again!
You are soooo fre*kin funny
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:48 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
ah, thank you so much for all the comments... I can go to sleep tonight without knots in my stomach. I really appreciate everyone helping me to put this into perspective.
Sometimes I can't address this stuff with dh because right away he thinks I'm overreacting. At least now, yes, I was overreacting, but I got some really helpful advice back from everyone in the meantime.
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:49 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:51 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Posted by doublestroller
i actually love it when my DD's do this, it gives me a break
you may want to look at it this way to make you feel better: be happy that she is able to identify and socialize with others. it's not fun to have a clingy, whiny, "i want only mommy" kid attached to your leg at all times. by letting and encouraging this bond, you are helping her socially now and in the future...
i have found it goes in phases. i am at home with both DD's but they adore daddy. DD#1 has always been daddy's girl, and now DD#2 has started . when he is around it's "mom who?". but there are times when i'm the one they want, especially when they are hurt and/or not feeling well. i think it's totally normal...
Oh, this is a great point... Especially when #2 comes along in 12 weeks.
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:51 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Posted by nyteacher13
ah, thank you so much for all the comments... I can go to sleep tonight without knots in my stomach. I really appreciate everyone helping me to put this into perspective.
Sometimes I can't address this stuff with dh because right away he thinks I'm overreacting. At least now, yes, I was overreacting, but I got some really helpful advice back from everyone in the meantime.
The first time it happens you are NOT overreacting. It is hard and painful to watch your DC prefer someone over you, especially if there is previous tension. You had every right to feel sad and hurt. Now that you are home and have talked about it you can let it go - but before that, IMHO, you were not overreacting at all.
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| Posted 12/12/09 10:57 PM |
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LJSMommy
Love him!
Member since 10/07 3189 total posts
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
It is SO normal
DS has ALWAYS wanted to go to ANYONE else!!
But lately, HIS Nonna (my Mom) is all he wants! He wakes up asking for her too! I guess if it were my MIL....I might not find it so adorable
They love their grandparents & don't know our issues with them.....so don;t take it personally
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| Posted 12/12/09 11:24 PM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
My DD ADORES my father..her "Nonno" When he is around..NO ONE matters to her. If my father isn't around..then all she wants is her Nonna (my mother). If we are with my inlaws all she wants is her uncle (my BIL). See where I'm going????
Don't feel bad..your DD will always LOVE her mommy the most..but it is very normal for kids to favor "someone" in the family.
Do you think it hurts you more because you have a history with your MIL? Let her sit their with a grin on her face because YOU are the last person DD see's at night and YOU are the first person she see's in the morning
ETA: DD walks around my house yelling "NONNO..NONNA" and looking in every room for them during the day. Also..if she is crying,,she whimpers "Noooooonnnoo" and sometimes I have to call him just to make her stop yelling out for him.
Message edited 12/12/2009 11:29:27 PM.
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| Posted 12/12/09 11:26 PM |
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snowflake08
Love my boys!!!
Member since 8/07 5148 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Family Party Tonight... A little upset
Totally normal; it just makes you feel even worse because of the hormones but she loves you!!!!
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| Posted 12/12/09 11:27 PM |
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