Feeling like a single mom

Ugh!!! DH's job pays so well, but he is NEVER home lately. This morning he left at 5am to go golfing with clients an hour away. He is on his way home now, but he just called to tell me his parents just got home from a one month excursion around the world. I just want to b/cI don't want to hang out with his friggin parents...I want to see DH ALONE (and with DD)!!!! I swear...it's always something. I'm craving quality time with him....thankfully I have plans all day tomorrow (going to a BBQ)...so I will definitely be with him WITHOUT my IL's (of course there's always a possibility that the BBQ will be canceled and then we will have to hang with the IL's) Plus, he hardly ever sees DD b/c she is asleep when he leaves and asleep we he gets home at night. UGHHHH. Just venting, thanks!

Re: Feeling like a single mom

I can relate, my kids only see DH on the weekends, and for the past month or so Sarah has been crying every day that she misses Daddy.

DH LOVES his job so I haven't told him yet, I'm hoping she goes back to her normal self soon.

Re: Feeling like a single mom

i know how you feel and it s*cks- it is really hard. i used to complain to DH nonstop about it. he would get on the 5:30am train and not be back til really late when DD was in bed. she barely knew him and he barely knew her. fast forward to january where DH lost his job...and is STILL out of work. he now is DD's caretaker and BFF what a difference and what a shock... so when you are feeling this way remember, and i know you know this-that his time away really is for your family as weird as it sounds. i wish DH was still our breadwinner sometimes..even though it was hard most times.
in regards to you IL's, can you tell him how you feel about just wanting some time with him and DD alone? maybe he doesn't realize that-they never do unless you bring it to their attention unfortunately and even then i know it doesn't always work. have fun tomorrow though!

Re: Feeling like a single mom

I can totally relate. It's really tough...my DH is gone 6 days a week and barely spends time with us. Thankfully, he is home on Sundays, so we try to make up for it then.
I guess it's all about quality time rather than quantity.

Re: Feeling like a single mom

I can totally relate..hang in there!

Re: Feeling like a single mom

My DH often leaves before DS is awake and comes home after he is asleep. Sometimes DS is up for a little while, but lately less and less. There is so much he doesn't know about his own son, it's kind of sad. At least I was able to stay home so I can tell him what he's doing now. I do know he doesn't like this and would love to be home with us more, but we need the $$$.

We had this afternoon planned as family time, but he got a call from work about a problem and needs to look into it. So there that goes. Tomorrow we will see his parents, but it's not the same as when it's just us.

Re: Feeling like a single mom

I kinda feel that way too. The bad thing is that I see DH all the time but it's not really quality time - he's there but he's not there KWIM?. We drive to/from work together, but 90% he's on the phone working. When we get home from work he always has to return phone calls or prepare for a case, which leaves me to do everything for the boys. He goes into the office every Sat and then Sun is his time to relax. I end up trying to using Sun as my day to clean, do laundry, go grocery shopping, etc.....

Earlier this week, I told him that he needed to set boundaries with his work... Like no answering the phone after 8pm or no phone calls during the 30 min we spend in the car together to/from work. Also we get home, he needs to take the boys out in the yard for at least 30 mins or read them a story. I'm not asking for anything drastic just some quality time that we don't have to share with one of his clients or colleagues.

Re: Feeling like a single mom

Yeah. I know this feeling too. Christopher only really sees Chris on the 10 minute drive to daycare in the morning. He is usually sleeping or getting ready to go to sleep when he gets home from work.

But it is a lot better then when I was home and Chris was working nights, that was terrible! Christopher NEVER saw daddy, but luckily, he was tiny then and doesn't remember it.

Re: Feeling like a single mom

Sorry, I meant to comment on your post! Sometimes I get so caught up in my own crap, I forget why I replied to begin with!

I am sorry you hardly see your DH, nor does DC. Is there a chance this will change at some point or can he draw some boundaries with work?

I know DH usually doesn't work so many hours compared to many, but he has a commute. I am pushing him to look for something closer to home, but he keeps saying he won't make the same money. I will probably push again when I am working, in about 6 months. It would be nice for him to be home more, even if it means we don't have as much money.

Re: Feeling like a single mom

I can relate as well. For years I called myself a "married, single mother" My husband never quite liked that one. Honestly, though I always tried to remind myself how lucky we were to have all that we did. You'll see that as your dd gets older, and is awake longer periods at night, it will get better.

Hang in there.

Re: Feeling like a single mom

I can relate. DH rarely sees DD in the morning and sees her in the evening maybe twice a week. And to make matters worse, he has had a lot of business trips lately too.

But we do make the weekends count when he is home and not traveling.

Re: Feeling like a single mom

I can totally relate! My DH leaves just as DD goes to bed after her early AM feeding and does not come home under around 6pm. then every 4th night he is on-call, so he might get called into the hospital.

Soon he is going to take on a PT job so we can bang out bills and get into a house, so then I will really be on my own

Re: Feeling like a single mom

i can totally relate i only see my DH about 2 days a week. By the time i get home from work he is already gone to work. it really does stink but hang in there. you are def not alone

Re: Feeling like a single mom

I have always referred to myself as a "married single mom." Its tough!!!