Friends that live far from you

DH and I have a hard time wanting to keep friendships with most couples b/c most of the time they just turn out to be weird.. We have this couple that we wished lived closer b/c if they did they are the type of people we would want to be around more often.

The girl has been to my house once. Her husband and her, never once. We have gone to their house probably about a handfull of times. I said to them the last time we hung out that they should come visit next time. Excuses were given b/c they have a 5 month old now. I do understand but now I think the baby is old enough to take a ride in the car for an hour.

Anyway, they invited us over for a day on memorial day weekend.. DH and I are on the fence. We do want to go, b/c they are fun to be with and I have not seen the baby yet (but will in two weeks bc they invited us to the christening) but we don't want to deal with the traffic. Also, it's still bothering us a little that they don't make efforts to come visit us once in a while. It's always going to them. As I stated earlier we are going to go there again in two weeks bc I told them that we would come to the christening.

If this were your situation - would you go to their house memorial day weekend or not go and just go two weeks later for the christening. Would you go to both?

Re: Friends that live far from you

I would go to both.

but then again these types of things don't bother me.

Re: Friends that live far from you

I can relate to what you are saying COMPLETELY..we have friends like this who live more than an hour away, but I get it! We are kind of in the same boat in that we've visited them more often, but their circumstances have kind of dictated that (ie. her DH can't get the time off his new job to come up, but we can take the time to go down and work around it)

I would go if you want to see these people, but know mentally that traffic might be an inevitability..my new question is always, "do you WANT to go?" lately...that should be the barometer...gl with your decision and have fun whatever you end up doing

Re: Friends that live far from you

i'd just go to the christening. those things annoy me when it's one sided, not to mention traffic too

Re: Friends that live far from you

I would go. I know the traveling is a pain, but it sounds like you do want to spend time with them, so I'd go and have some fun even knowing that you'll be there again in a couple weeks. And then after the christening you'd have even more of a case when you say, "Wow, we've been to your place twice this month... why don't you guys come out here next time?"

Re: Friends that live far from you

I don't keep tabs on friendships or who goes where more often. If I wanted to go to their house to see them this weekend, I would go. I certainly wouldn't decline an invite to a party I wanted to attend just because they never come to my house. If I didn't want to go for some other reason, I'd just politely decline.

In this situation, I'd probably go to both events. But these things just don't bother me that much... Other people understandably get annoyed by this kind of stuff.

As an FYI, though, they probably aren't going to change... so you have to decide if you want to see them a lot less because they don't come to your house or if you want to make the effort to go out by them.

In the future, can you plan nights out somewhere in the middle? (I know that's not a solution for BBQs like this, but it might generally alleviate some of the one-sidedness...)

Re: Friends that live far from you

It can be very easily something other than that. You just don't know what they're reasoning might be and they're embarassed to say it. I would just go to both and keep inviting them to your place.

Re: Friends that live far from you

I would go, assuming that you actually want to go and think you would have a good time!

Message edited 6/26/2010 10:07:06 AM.

Re: Friends that live far from you

Do you have kids too?

The only reason I ask is because I know before I had kids, we traveled to anyone who had kids because it was just easier-their house was already set up for kids, they could relax because the kids were more relaxed in their own space, etc. If you have kids too, then obviously this flies out the window because you are both in the same boat.

We also have friends that we do this to. We go to their house only as much as necessary and try (well, tried since we moved out of state) to get them to come to us as much as possible. The reason was because we were just not comfortable in their home-they had big dogs that were all over the place and their him was just not comfortable. I'm not saying this is the case for you but I just wanted to throw it out there. We love these friends so we do go to their place but will always try to get them to come to us (and it's not about the traveling, we don't mind traveling an 1+ to GTG with friends).

If it's not any of that, then I don't know. You just have to decide if it bothers you enough to end the friendship