Those who live far away from your parents...

how do you deal with them aching for your kids?

Last Saturday, I get a call 8:30 AM, can I meet my mother and father in West Virginia for the day? They will drive 6 hours, and I will do 4 I said meet and do what?
"Well we can see Josh and go out to eat" In WEST VIRGINIA! I said I couldn't make it to WV today, sorry.

Now, she calls today...my sister goes to school in Asheville, her roommate is driving her up to NY for fall break and they are dropping off another girl home to Jersey. The girl has a little civic. Would it be possible to get in the car with them? OMG...no. 19 year olds on a roadtrip, 3 bags already in the car.

She is out of vacation time. She used 3 weeks in January to stay with me. Then my sister's wedding in Aug was 1.5 weeks. She is saving her last week for Josh's b-day in Dec.

So, I saw her in Dec, Jan, drove up to NY in Mar., drove back up in April, drove back up in July, saw them at an August wedding...these calls are daily! from my dad too.

I know they love Josh but they make me feel so bad.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

Its hard . My parents live in Florida and we live in NY. They come up just about every 6 weeks even if its just a long weekend. My family goes there 2x a year as well

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

My family leaves overseas. They are VERY reasonable. They know the reality of things. I send as many pics as possible. My mom will meet DS for the 1st time at Christmas. He will be 6 months.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

We actually have the opposite problem

Try to work with them, but I'd tell them that you'd want a little bit of notice

Can they fly at all? Or can you and Josh? Then you could join a frequent flyer plan and work with that.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

thanks. I send pics daily, every 3 days a video, and every 2 weeks a dvd. She calls and reminds me if I don't.

The new thing is, they talk to josh on the speakerphone, but now I have to video tape Josh's expressions as they make animal sounds into the phone. They have requested that I email the video ASAP.

I don't know what Leo thinks...I have traveled 4 times to see my family so far and zero to see his.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

OH!

Get a webcam! My MIL got us one (we've never used it though) b/c she and my SIL use it. You can use Skype with it and then they can see/talk to Josh everyday.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

Posted by KateDevine

We actually have the opposite problem

Try to work with them, but I'd tell them that you'd want a little bit of notice

Can they fly at all? Or can you and Josh? Then you could join a frequent flyer plan and work with that.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

Posted by nferrandi

Posted by KateDevine

OH!

Get a webcam! My MIL got us one (we've never used it though) b/c she and my SIL use it. You can use Skype with it and then they can see/talk to Josh everyday.

That's a really good idea. And as far as Leo's family goes, they kind of s^ck anyway, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

Aww - I think it's really nice that they miss Josh so much! I know how much my mom misses Jack come Friday afternoons when she hasn't seen him all week....I think she would be pyschotic if she didn't live 15 mins away from us.

I know it's probably REALLY annoying to you but just try and think about how much they love him - and how badly you would want to be around someday when Josh has a baby of his own.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

thanks. I am glad they love him so much, I just sometimes avoid their calls now. I won't lie...being here, I get LONELY. I am not sure if there is a lonlier soul then me out here right now.
(maybe you Colie)

I have mastered the art in meeting people. In the last 2 weeks, I scored 3 numbers Leo says too bad I am not a lesbian with the way I pick up moms but I have a huge fam in NY. No matter how many playdates I make, I don't think this hole will ever go away.

So, when I go grocery shopping and my brilliant baby boy opens up a bottle of syrup on himself in the store a long drive home, get inside and there is a message saying why can't you come? I want to scream. They make me feel guilty...really guilty.

Message edited 9/28/2007 11:14:59 PM.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

I see my parents every 2-3 months. My mom usually comes here more often, but I think my dad will start coming more. When they were here in July, Nate got really attached to him. Now my dad calls here just to speak to Nate.

When I told my parents that we probably wouldn't come home for Thanksgiving or Xmas bc it would just cost too much. My dad said that he'll pay for all 4 of us to come and put us up in a hotel so we can spend at least one holiday with them.

My mom had me look for flights for her to come to Chicago this morning. She's coming the 3rd week in Oct for a week. She's almost out of vacation days, but she'll take unpaid time off in a heartbeat.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

My parents are 4 hours away and I hate that they are not here to see the little things she does - or the big things - like walking! I think it is compunded by the fact that I am with DH's family EVERYDAY (literally).
I wish my parents would go out of their way MORE (they do sometimes) to come see her. She is their first grandchild and the only one for a while. I am thankful that they are there at all though. I know some people woudl be thankful just for that

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

My mom and step dad live in Illinois and my dad and step mom live in South Carolina.
To date, I have seen my mom in April (my shower), May (when DS was born), August (DS' baptism), and September (we went there). I do not know when I will see her again, but I did mention about meeting 1/2 way (Ohio) for a few days.

As for my dad, they were here in June and my dad was up for DS' baptism. We're going there in Oct and they will be up in Dec. Aside from that, not sure when we'll see them again.

It's hard b/c I want them involved in DS' life, and I want DS to know them, not just DH's parents/family.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

We deal by visiting them a couple times a year and telling them they can visit anytime they want. We always feel guilty. There's no getting around that.

His parents are retired so they have come to see us 3x this year. My parents are working and don't have that luxury. They have been out once, a month after DD was born. (They have seen her 3x since on our trips back.)

We have a website that we update with pics and videos regularly. My mom viewed the recent video and she can't even call me because she's so heartbroken. She just sent me a message that she cried and cried and she misses us so much. It's hard not to feel guilty.


to you. We are doing what is best for our families right now.

Re: Those who live far away from your parents...

We skype a lot. My familly is so busy that I don't actually think they "ache" for my son. It feels like we see each other a lot, 4/5 times a year. Its a big trip, at a big expenses for either of us to fly over to see each other, but we make it work. I know they would like to see the kid more, but these are the choices that we have made to have a good life...and we have to deal with the consequences!!!