going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

i'm due with my first child on july 1st. i need advice from women who are already moms.

for my birthday next month, DH and I wanted to plan a mini vacation. however, we wouldn't be able to do it until dec/jan--when my DS will be about 6 months old.

this would be a trip for just the two of us. we would leave DS home with his grandparents--having them watch him isn't the issue.

i'm wondering how many of you would have been able to leave your 6 month old for about 5 days. it's easy for me to say i could do it now, since he's not here yet. we won't be planning it until he is here so we know there aren't any complications, etc.

since i'm not a mom yet, i don't know how i'll react. i *think*, based on my personality, that i'll be okay with it. but i don't want the day to come and then i can't leave him at home.

any suggestions or advice would be welcome!!! there are no other issues--he will be weaned by then (has to be since i'm going back to work and i don't want to pump), the grandparents are COMPLETELY trustworthy and wonderful, etc.

TIA!!

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I personally couldn't do it, I could *maybe* go for 1 night. My DD is 20 months old. The only night I have been away from her was the night I was in the hospital giving birth to her sister. I cried all night long

But, I am not sure why I feel like this. My first child past away so I think that might be the reason why I have such a hard time leaving my kids for more than a couple of hours.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I don't know if this is something we can answer for you.

But I know if it was me, personally, I couldn't do it.

I just went to Florida for one night and left DD home with DH and it was sooo hard for me to do it. I went back and forth for weeks before - going or not going. But I went, and she is 21 months

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

Not sure I'd be able to do it for 5-7 days...DD has been at grandma's for 2-3 days & that has been fine---but I miss her immensely & call often.

He/she will have no recollection looking back later on & she'll be in good hands--also by that point you'll need to reconnect w/ DH.

I guess you won't be bf?

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I'm with everyone else. DD is 2&1/2 and I've only left her for 1 night when she was 2 when DH and went downtown for a night for our anniversary.
At 6 months I definitely couldn't have done it.
I know there are moms on here that have so hopefully they can chime in and give you some good advice.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

My DD is 5 months old right now and wouldnt have a problem with it. she was 3 months old when I had to go to San Francisco for work - I was ok with it then too.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I just came back from miami 2 weeks ago and left ds with my parents (they live in downstairs apt, so they are always with ds). Dh and i left by ourselves for 4 days, and it was hard at first, but i called at least 3x a day just to check in and hear his giggles. He was 5 months at the time. I knew he was in good hands and made it easier.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I could and did do it. We had a great time. Kids survive things we don't think they will. Sometimes its just what you need to feel refreshed again.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

Well you know how I am...I couldn't do it. One night would even be very hard for me. But I'm a wuss about leaving her. I think it's great that they offered to do that for you!

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

Dh and I were thinking of doing a long weekend without DS around 6 months old. Luckily we tested out an overnight without him before booking and guess who's coming on vacation with us now After that experience, we couldnt imagine leaving him for longer than that AND going somewhere far away. DS was fine, it was mommy and daddy who couldnt handle it

Message edited 3/30/2008 10:09:15 PM.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

The best thing I can say is to definitely wait until it gets closer to see how you feel.

I could NOT have done it, but many people will tell you to go for it. You know he'll be in good hands but I think that amount of time is too long to leave a 6 month old. That is just my opinion!!

I think a weekend getaway is the answer...the perfect amount of time, any longer is too much in my opinion..you'd be surprised..you're away after 2 days and wanting to get back to him.

Also..its kind of a long time for grandparents to watch a 6 month old. Unless they are really really active and up for it, but they may be getting up at night with him if he's waking up still, there are just things to think about.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

A mini-getaway would be no issue for me (2-4days) but I could not do 7 day trip. Few reasons...

1-I'd miss my kiddies terribly. When I went away with my first when he was 18 mos, I went for an extended weekend, by day 3 - I was like ready to come home and even tried to shorten my trip. 2-I feel bad for leaving someone with them for so long. Not worried about their care but more feeling bad - kind of like I am dumping my responsibility 3- my 2nd child was/is not an easy baby and at 6months would have been too hard to leave him with someone. 4-I want my long vacations to include my children jsut a big part of my life.

I would wait until you are closer and decide then. You'll never know how you'll feel.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

We went to Mexico for a wedding for 4 days last month- DD was 8 months old. It was VERY hard to leave. BUT- we had a GREAT time. My parents stayed at our house to take care of her. She was still not sleeping through the night, and I think she may have been a bit of a beast. Other than that, she was fine.

That said, we booked that trip when I was still pg. In the weeks leading up to the trip I was SO not wanting to go. I really wanted to cancel. The idea of l;eaving DD broke my heart.

But- we did have a great time and we totally recharged our marriage

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

DS is 3.5 months now, and honestly I can't imagine leaving him for that long in just 2 months time. But we have a wedding in Nevis in November when DS is 10 months and we will be leaving him home for that and I am dreading the separation anxiety "I" will feel at that point. (we have friends who will be leaving their 3 month old home to go to that wedding)

Play it by ear, wait until after your little one is here to make the decision. Only you will know if you will be able to do it.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I did it at 4 months for two nights and again at 9 months for a week.

I was fine, DH was fine, DS was fine.

It's hard to leave, but then you adjust. Especially if DC is going to be with someone you trust like your parents.

I will tell you though, I got a LOT of flack from others about it.

People do not support the idea of leaving a baby for "frivilous" reasons.

If I had to do it again I wouldn't tell anyone else that we were going.

Do what you need to and want to do. Being away for a few nights doesn't make you a bad mommy - it actually made me a better one because I came back recharged.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I think each person is gonna be different and its hard to say till they are here.

Before I was a mom Ithought maybe around that time I oculd do it.

Now that I have him..I couldnt leave him for more then maybe a night yet...I would just worry or miss him too much...

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I'll say that before I had my DS that I could do it for sure. Now that he is here, I really could not. BUt that is factored by a lot of things. I work full time, so I just can't bear to be away from him moe than I already am. Maybe if I was SAHM I would feel different? Not sure.

SO hard to say now...once you hold that baby in your arms, your world and feelings change....FOR THE BETTER!

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

Michael is 6 months and honestly I couldn't leave him just yet. We're planning a trip to Vegas for my 30th in Sept and by then he'll be almost one and will stay my with my mom...I know it'll still be tough but not as much as now...

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I've done it with DD #1 but I can only do it for 3 nights...4 nights is the limit. Anything after 4 nights is no longer a vacation for me. I start to get sick to my stomach and have to get home to her.
with DD # 2 and DD # 3 it's never been done yet. I don't think I could do more than one night with out the kids. Maybe years down the line but not now.

Thsi is NOT somethign anyone can answer for you. It's a personal decison. Perhaps make the vacation for 4 nights 5 days. That way it'll be long enough but not short enough.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

My son is almost 6 months and I personally would not be able to do it, but that does not mean you will feel the same. I would wait to see how you feel after your DC is born before you book any vacation.

My cousin and his wife recently went away for a week and left there 6 month old son with his grandparents and they were fine with it. It is really is a a very personal decision.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I left my DD at 7 months to go on a trip with DH and our best friends for two nights. I thought I was going to be a mess but I knew she was having a blast with her Aunt and Grandparents. They sent me frequent text messages with her pics or her laughing.

I don't know if I could have done 5 nights though. I definately could have done 3 however. I missed her but really needed that time with DH.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable going w/out DD - DH and I were together about 10 years before DD so we had plenty of trips alone so we actually prefer to travel with DD as a family and we think of it as more bonding time - esp since DH gets home late so he barely sees DD at night but DH and I get our alone time after she goes to bed. I personally would miss DD too much to leave her for more than say 1 night.

However this is just our preference - there are many people who are completely comfortable leaving their child for a few days and although they miss them - are happier taking vacations as just the two of them.

You have to do what your comfort level allows. This is not our preference but there is absolutely nothing wrong with it if you are comfortable with it.

It is hard to say how you will feel however until your little bean arrives though.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

DH took DD to his sister's for 2 nights and I was SOOOO happy to see them back after 2 nights. I might have really lost it after 3 (2 nights still had me in tears, but I wasn't with DH or on vacation.)

I think I could do 3 nights for a vacation and be ok, but 3 nights away would be my max.

Re: going on vacation without your 6 month old? advice please!!

I think that is fine for you to do that. you will definitely need some RR with DH. I am leaving DS next week for 3 days while i go to Florida. He will be in good hands with DH (hopefully ). I cant' wait to get some 'me' time.