GTG poll---IF grads related..

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And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

great responses here, and I'm really glad we can talk about this openly, and not have it dwindle down into senseless drama. Like Donna said, I take no offense with people who would be uncomfortable with us going

When I had mentioned to Kim that I was mulling contributing in some way, or even attending I told her that I was going to lay low on my reaqest, because I didn't want a potentially touchy subject to ruin what is an awesome cause on the part of LIF.

I agree with various points of PP's. Everyone has their own threshold of tolerance. Heck, we went to a christening two days after a miscarriage, even after the mother of the baby called and told us we didn't have to and tnat she understood. We had a very dear friend who gave birth the same day we miscarried. And it was rough on BOTH parties.

Though we were able to "suck it up", I am in no way suggesting that others can just do the same. Some can - many can't, and no one should feel bad, called out or judged based on that.

Like Lauren pointed out - a year ago, I'd likely be one who would have stayed back if I knew grads would be there. It's no secret I've had issued with people on LIF announcing pregnancies and stuff like that on NFR, since at the time, we weren't reading the PG board. I'm not sure what i would do. Like I said, we've sucked it up on many occasions, it would probably be a game time decision as to how we felt that day.

Based on the responses here and the results of the close poll, my gut, which told me to stay back, was correct. Like Lauren said, if ONE person felt uncomfortable, or if I hindered just ONE person from establishing a connection with others in the same boat, I'd be doing a disservice. At the same time, as grads, we don't want to feel like, by not posting or attending these things, that we've forgotten about others that are facing the same thing, or "forgetting our roots".

That being said, I think graduate attendance should be optional, and grads can make the decision for themselves.

One point I would like to respectfully disagree with is talking about the kids. I may be in the minority - but I used to HATE when people would do that - mainly those who knew what we were going through. I don't fault them or judge them, because it's the most exciting thing and how can you not gush and brag?

But, now I'm on the other side, and I still have friends dealing with it. I talk to them about their struggle, if they choose to talk with me about it. I'm very careful about overdoing it in talking about the kids. If they ask me about them, I will tell them - short and sweet, no elaboration. I will only show them pics on request. Like I said, it's really hard not to, but since it was a pet peeve of mine, I'm cognizant of it now with others.

ETA: I also agree with Leslie's point about bringing the kids back to show your RE. Dr Chu wants us to come in and we are hesitant because we don't want to upset anyone in the waiting room

Message edited 6/16/2008 10:09:45 AM.

Posted 6/16/08 9:44 AM