Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

I honestly feel that I have grown personally from reading this. I also found a new respect for the IF community. Thank you everyone.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by dm24angel

really? Cause I get so unsure.

I will be honest and say that when there were girls with children already at IF Gtg's , I was sometimes jealous, and felt they didnt ever truly understand the Want....the need for a baby.

I NOW on the other side, dont EVER want anyone to feel that way about ME KWIM?

YEs I remember the want and need but it will never be the same for me as say a Veteran IF'er.

My heart just breaks for everyone and this is a sensitive subject , I for one am GLAD this was posted and that everyone feels OK to speak about some rough emotions and say how they feel about it.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

I would LOVE to go to the G2G but, I voted "sit it out".

I would love to meet many of you, esp. the new faces but I think it is better to have a meetngreet at a non-IF function. I would hate for anyone to feel uncomfortable and I would find it quite awkward. Like the OP mentioned, there have been so many graduates that it would no longer be a IF g2g.

But, I do see the point of view from the most recent graduates. For me, I feel that my IF journey does not end until I am holding a baby in my arms.

I hope you don't mind that I continue to post on this board and offer support. I know so many of you have been there for me and I want to do the same for you.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by rose825

Posted by dm24angel

really? Cause I get so unsure.

I will be honest and say that when there were girls with children already at IF Gtg's , I was sometimes jealous, and felt they didnt ever truly understand the Want....the need for a baby.

I NOW on the other side, dont EVER want anyone to feel that way about ME KWIM?

YEs I remember the want and need but it will never be the same for me as say a Veteran IF'er.

My heart just breaks for everyone and this is a sensitive subject , I for one am GLAD this was posted and that everyone feels OK to speak about some rough emotions and say how they feel about it.

as you know it took us a while with DS, with a MF diagnosis and we were lucky enough to spontaneously conceive after our RE appt. But even though I was blessed with a DC, when I started dealing with secondary IF I always understood what everyone else was going through, was grateful for what I had but also had the desire to have another.

No one ever made me feel like I didnt belong, or was less of a member of "the club"- a club none of us really want to be in. And I never got the feeling that anyone thought I didnt understand them.

But I guess you cant help how people feel or what they think. No one should have to work this hard to have a baby, be it your first or fifth

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Thanks for the responses. I guess I am glad I started this thread, although I WILL say that I think I am just far less sensitive about the whole IF thing than most. It never bothered me to be around pregnant people or go to parties etc. I guess I looked at it with hope instead of the other way around.

Im glad I asked though, and I wish you ladies the best of luck. Hopefully Ill meet you some other time!

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

I am glad to see all of the responses. Honest, true, feelings.


I would like to go, but seeing that poll at almost 50/50 has changed my mind. I would never, ever want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. At first I was surprised to see so many who actually said they didn't want the grads there, but I had to "check" myself and remember how I felt not so long ago.

Yes, I know the stuggle, and yes I know the despair. It's in a place in my psyche that will always be present.

...and thanks Leslie. I think I was one of those two.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

While I have no problem meeting graduates, I feel that since this gtg is being giving by lif, only people currently dealing with IVF should be invited.

I would love to meet everyone, past and current, but feel like it may be appropriate at gtg that is set up through the ladies on this board.


It is not meant to exclude people, but since this is an infertility board and given by lif, only those whos are currently experiencing this should be able to go.

I would not want anyone currently experiencing infertility to not go so that someone who has already graduated can be there to catch up with others.

Sorry if this offends anyone.

Message edited 6/16/2008 8:44:40 PM.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

I just have to say I understand both points of views...

For me IF will be part of me no matter how many kids I have...so in a way I kind of feel like I'll never be a "graduate" unless our MF issue miracalously goes away KWIM. The simple fact is that the chances of me getting pregnant the "normal" way is pretty slim so eventually one day when DH and I decide to expand our family I will once again be venturing onto IF treatments. For me it doesn't get any easier knowing that I'm not able to conceive a child "naturally" even though I have DD and believe me I'm grateful to have her I really am but the pain is still there.

But I do also understand that IF is a tedious and painful journey. One day seeing a pregnant person whether or not they suffered from IF could just push you over the edge. I totally respect the need for the GTG without graduates.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Gee- I really and truly hope this comes out the right way- I'm not usually one to post long drawn out things but reading everyones responses has really gotten me thinking that I'm not normal or that I lack some kind of emotional qualities I should have I guess (for lack of better words)...I'll preface this by saying that , I feel like I can voice this as someone who has been dealing with IF even long before we started trying to conceive back in 2001 , so I have a good 7 years under my belt (along with the agony of knowing more or less since puberty that pregnacy would not come without medical intervention)...For whatever reason, even before I conceived my DS after 4 years of trying, I never had any of the feelings that many of you speak of...never looked any differently at a pregnant person, or babies, avoided parties, baby stores or things of that nature...The people who got me ENRAGED were the sickos who throw their babies away and take for granted precious lives...I totally respect everyones feelings in this, I guess I just wish I could better relate and I feel like I'm lacking something I should be feeling ( the only analogy I can think of is like I'm thinking "like a guy" )..I guess I always looked at it in the way that- there is not an infinate number of babies to be had in this world and because someone else has been blessed with one means I won't or can't- With me it has always been a matter of "when and how" not "if"...I felt, it was happening one way or another, so far as while we were seeing the RE I was researching adoption as a future option...When we started trying for another child, I faced IF all over again as I knew we would-Anyhow, just wanted to get this out there, I don't know if I have become hardened because of my childhood (losing both my parents before I was 23 to debilitating diseases and watching them suffer while I'm raising my disabled brother) no violins here, just really thinking out loud and trying to figure out why I'm not as sensitive as I probably should be...I give all you girls all the support in this world, it really takes special people to do what we do, and I say "we" because once you have gone through this, you become a union- I pray for each and everyone of you daily, that your dreams become fulfilled, however it happens and know that one day they will- I know this post may have gotten off topic of the GTG (have a great time ) , I also hope that no-one misinterpetted any of this post, it truly is not any type of reflection on any of your feelings, you are all some of the most incredibly strong and determined women I have ever known, it was more of me analyzing myself... This is still the 1st board I go on, and probably always will be, either to give advice, get advice or give a boost to someone in need and I hope anyone who comes here is welcome as long as they want to stay You have all been and continue to be such an inspiration to all of us- thank you

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

wow- who is responding to this poll? There are over 60 ppl that answered the poll part of this post---- I didn't think there were nearly this many ppl on here... if there are I missed their posts, or they just haven't posted lately...

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by MrsMessina

wow- who is responding to this poll? There are over 60 ppl that answered the poll part of this post---- I didn't think there were nearly this many ppl on here... if there are I missed their posts, or they just haven't posted lately...

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by quasi3

Posted by MrsMessina

wow- who is responding to this poll? There are over 60 ppl that answered the poll part of this post---- I didn't think there were nearly this many ppl on here... if there are I missed their posts, or they just haven't posted lately...

I was just thinking the same thing?????????

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by quasi3

Posted by MrsMessina

wow- who is responding to this poll? There are over 60 ppl that answered the poll part of this post---- I didn't think there were nearly this many ppl on here... if there are I missed their posts, or they just haven't posted lately...

I was just thinking the same thing?????????

doesn't necessarily have to be just those that post on the IF board who voted in the poll.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by Goldi0218

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by quasi3

Posted by MrsMessina

wow- who is responding to this poll? There are over 60 ppl that answered the poll part of this post---- I didn't think there were nearly this many ppl on here... if there are I missed their posts, or they just haven't posted lately...

I was just thinking the same thing?????????

doesn't necessarily have to be just those that post on the IF board who voted in the poll.

I am willing to bet there are people who vote in all polls who dont care what the poll is about.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by maybeamommy

Posted by Goldi0218

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by quasi3

Posted by MrsMessina

wow- who is responding to this poll? There are over 60 ppl that answered the poll part of this post---- I didn't think there were nearly this many ppl on here... if there are I missed their posts, or they just haven't posted lately...

I was just thinking the same thing?????????

doesn't necessarily have to be just those that post on the IF board who voted in the poll.

I am willing to bet there are people who vote in all polls who dont care what the poll is about.

I'm not a part of the IF board, but I have been on TTC for 10 months and I will admit that I voted.

We are on our TTC journey, and may end up on IF too. I just imagined how I would feel if I were one of the ladies from IF contemplating this, and voted as such.

I hope that is okay

I read these boards every single day, so I guess I feel like a part of them even though I don't really post here.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by quasi3

Posted by maybeamommy

Posted by Goldi0218

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by quasi3

Posted by MrsMessina

wow- who is responding to this poll? There are over 60 ppl that answered the poll part of this post---- I didn't think there were nearly this many ppl on here... if there are I missed their posts, or they just haven't posted lately...

I was just thinking the same thing?????????

doesn't necessarily have to be just those that post on the IF board who voted in the poll.

I am willing to bet there are people who vote in all polls who dont care what the poll is about.

I'm not a part of the IF board, but I have been on TTC for 10 months and I will admit that I voted.

We are on our TTC journey, and may end up on IF too. I just imagined how I would feel if I were one of the ladies from IF contemplating this, and voted as such.

I hope that is okay

I read these boards every single day, so I guess I feel like a part of them even though I don't really post here.

I don't mind that you voted! i secretly read the TTC board too!

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

I read both IF and TTC boards, so I don't have an issue w/ ppl who have been TTC for a while answering the poll.
I'm just surprised at the # of ppl that responded. I would never hop over to PG or parenting (and this isn't towards you who answered in a PP ) and answer a question about a GTG over there, b/c I wouldn't truly be able to understand the post not being PG or a parent, they way I don't think that those who haven't experienced IF would understand.... it would be one thing if the ppl who responded to the poll were IF graduates or ppl TTC for a while, (as well as obviously IFers) but I just feel like it's SO much higher than the avg # of people that post on our boards.... not that it really matters, b/c as PPs have said if even 1 person is uncomfortable, end of story... besides the fact that LIF already made it clear as to who should be attending. Just making an observation...

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Also keep in mind that there are a lot of lurkers on the IF board who may not feel comfortable posting. I was a lurker for a long time.

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by daisy32

Posted by quasi3

Posted by maybeamommy

Posted by Goldi0218

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by quasi3

Posted by MrsMessina

wow- who is responding to this poll? There are over 60 ppl that answered the poll part of this post---- I didn't think there were nearly this many ppl on here... if there are I missed their posts, or they just haven't posted lately...

I was just thinking the same thing?????????

doesn't necessarily have to be just those that post on the IF board who voted in the poll.

I am willing to bet there are people who vote in all polls who dont care what the poll is about.

I'm not a part of the IF board, but I have been on TTC for 10 months and I will admit that I voted.

We are on our TTC journey, and may end up on IF too. I just imagined how I would feel if I were one of the ladies from IF contemplating this, and voted as such.

I hope that is okay

I read these boards every single day, so I guess I feel like a part of them even though I don't really post here.

I don't mind that you voted! i secretly read the TTC board too!

Ditto for me...I post on TTC too

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Re: GTG poll---IF grads related..

Posted by MrsMessina

Posted by Goldi0218
I chose my words poorly when what I should have said that I think lurkers post. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. That was not my intention.

I don't think you offended anyone (certainly not me anyway)- you were't singling anyone out- just stating that on all areas of LIF people vote in polls that may or may not pertain to them.