How do you handle when your toddler

throws an outrageous tantrum in front of others? During Christmas at my parents, my son (2 1/2) had a major melt down because he wanted one of his new toys to do something it doesn't do. He was still a little sick, so extremely moody. He carried on worse than I've ever seen. I felt so embarassed, frustrated and emotional (I'm also pregnant). Everyone was trying to calm him down, but he was not having it. I put him in his room upstairs and walked out. I felt like people were looking at me like I was evil. It really put a damper on the mood. How do you/would you handle situations like this?

Re: How do you handle when your toddler

we usually leave the room until she calms down....too... although the tantrums haven't stopped...at least they don't last as long when she knows she is not going back in until she is calm!

Re: How do you handle when your toddler

I don't know if I have an answer, but I probably would have done the same thing. Sometimes they've worked themselves up so much, they need to just calm down and chill, and if it means being in their room, well then, what else can you do? Sometimes ignore or divert their attention. I think people are looking b/c they're more shocked and probably forgot what its like to have a 2yr old around.

Last Christmas at my IL's, my niece was sick, was screaming and crying, her mom was carrying her around and gave her a bath and they ended up both crying b/c my aunt was upset w/her crying...then my stupid FIL started yelling at his daughter (my SIL) to stop crying which just made things worse. After it all, he just looked like a jackazz and my niece eventually calmed down (she had an ear infection). I guess I'm sharing this because its not just you, it sounds normal for this age

Re: How do you handle when your toddler

I would have done the same thing. I would have removed him immediately because everyone else adding their input would have just given him more attention.
It happens. DC was angry and upset and didn't know how to manage emotions. You weren't wrong.

Re: How do you handle when your toddler

I pick him up remove him from the room and put him alone in a room whever i find one. Ds does this at the ped. Its wonderful, because you cant kill them infront of people, they will talk. Infront of family, i lay the law.

Re: How do you handle when your toddler

OK thanks ladies, I usually walk away, etc. but I felt like a bad mom the way everyone was looking at me!

Re: How do you handle when your toddler

I pick DD up and take her to her room. I tell her it's okay to be upset but it is not okay to carry on like that in front of everyone. I tell her to let me know when she is ready to go back downstairs.

She usually calms down in a few minutes.


If it's a tantrum over a nap (as in my other thread), I take her to her room, put her in her bed and leave since she is taking a nap anyway and a tantrum doesn't get you out of a nap. It only reinforces the need for the nap

Re: How do you handle when your toddler

I agree w/ all. A child is not able to reason, etc. when they are that upset/irrational. The best thing you could do is let him be/ignore him or do as Cranky said.

That's tough though in front of the family.

Re: How do you handle when your toddler

First, I don't get embarrassed. Kids will have meltdowns, it happens. When my DD (she's 2) has a fit over anything DH and I literally say, "That's nice Emerson. Let me know when you're ready to behave" and we walk away. We don't try to "make it better" or console her in any way and we don't let anyone else try either. We give her ZERO attention for having a fit. I will tell everyone and anyone to back off when my DD has a fit because it's SO undermining to DH and I for them to jump in and console her when we're making a point of ignoring inappropriate behavior. They aren't helping the situation by trying to make her feel better.

Without exaggeration, her tantrums probably don't last more than a minute simply because we've never gotten into with her. She knows that no matter how loud she screams or how many times she throws herself on the floor we aren't going to pay any attention to her and she gives up. Kids will only carry on as long as there is an audience there. If everyone is ignoring the behavior they realize pretty quickly they are wasting their time and they stop. I would ignore the behavior.

The WORST thing you can do is acknowledge the tantrum and try to "make it better" for them. In reality, you're just making things worse and prolonging the fit. Next time, just walk away and let him have his tantrum. The more you ignore it, the less severe they will become.

Message edited 12/27/2010 4:40:06 PM.