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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
it's hard when they're little of course... but my kid "wipes his own arse" as I say-- so it gets easier to do these things... (in between carting them from activity to activity...) luckily I only have one.
When I have another, I'll have Aidan watch this little rugrat. That's why I had him... So when I have ANOTHER, I have a built in babysitter 
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Posted 6/7/11 10:28 AM  |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by HeathKernandez
DH & I only go out if something is being held at an actual restaurant or catering hall and not someone's backyard. Our time is more important that way.
Well that goes without saying.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:30 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by hazeleyes33
So none of your friends go out either? None of them ever want to just do things together without kids?
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Sure they may WANT to. But the more children you have, good luck enlisting a parent to babysit for 2+ kids. It's a lot of work to ask a parent (who is older, 60s) to watch 2+ kids so you can simply go out to eat with DH.
Message edited 8/12/2013 5:06:29 PM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:32 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
every other week.
either out for dinner or to play racquetball together.
my sister comes over at 7:30 and we run out of here.
my bday was yesterday. i asked for restaurant GCs. I tend to be a cheapo and don't want the money aspect to keep us from going out.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:33 AM |
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nicknmb
SISTERS!
Member since 1/06 5193 total posts
Name:
MaryBeth
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Definitely not often enough...the last time was about 2 months ago
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:33 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Little-J-Mommy
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by Linda1003
Just jumping in here .. Goobster is NOT saying that she is right and you are wrong.. this works for HER MARRIAGE.. what you do works for YOURS!! Different people....different wants and needs in life..
no need to try and get her on your side or convince her she's wrong...
That's what I am trying to say. It's fine to disagree with her but it's not necessary to try and "convert" her or anyone else.
you beat me to it
Thank you. I certainly am not saying anyone else is wrong but I answered for me, based on my life and my marriage and my experience.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:36 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by HeathKernandez
it's hard when they're little of course... but my kid "wipes his own arse" as I say-- so it gets easier to do these things... (in between carting them from activity to activity...) luckily I only have one.
When I have another, I'll have Aidan watch this little rugrat. That's why I had him... So when I have ANOTHER, I have a built in babysitter
Well, I have a 3 months old and an almost 4 years old. We have my parents and Dh parents and also aunts, uncles, and cousins, etc....It is VERY important for the Dh and I to go out and have time away from the kids because it is very healthy and it helps to strengthen our marriage. Our families always help out with each other kids because in our family it takes a village to raise a child.
Dh and I doesn't believe in just because we have kids we give up on dating each other and just center our lives around the kids only. We doing this does not make us bad parents but it helps us to be better parents and to be more effective as parents. We are also showing and teaching our children how to have balance so that when they do grow up and have their own families they will be able to do the same.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:39 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by 2PreciousBlessings
Our families always help out with each other kids because in our family it takes a village to raise a child.
See that's why we all differ and can't compare. I personally don't believe in the it takes a village to raise a child and would never want that for my child, as IMO she is my responsibility and no one else's (including grandparents). That's where all of our different mindsets come from on how we answer this OP.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:47 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Goobster
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Goobster
Posted by sleepie76
It's fine if you dont need it/want it. But it's fine if people do. To say it is extravagent is a bit much to me.
You may feel extravagent is a bit much to say. I spoke for myself and for me, based on my life, I find it extravagent FOR me to ask my mom to watch my DD so I can go out to eat. I find that extremely unnecessary honestly, at this point in my life. DH and I had loads and loads of time prior to DD to go to restaurants, go away, etc. Been there done that. For me, when I ask for help, it's for a need, vs a want. When DH and I go out, there is nothing we want to do so badly that DD can't come. Sure I would love to eat alone once in a while, but if my biggest problem is going out to eat alone with my DH, then I got it easy.
As NBC said above, there isn't much we want to do that our DD can't come with us. Nothing better than the 3 of us together.
Are you ever invited to just "adult" things, like dinner parties or out to dinner and drinks with friends?
Everyone we associate with has children and they really don't do anything without their children aside from weddings, etc. Like us, they don't go out for dinner and drinks just because and we don't have any single friends so that isn't where we are at in our lives. Therefore there is no need or desire. Been there done that years ago, not the stage that us or any of our family/friends with children are at.
So none of your friends go out either? None of them ever want to just do things together without kids?
The majority of our friends have children and we still have dinner parties, happy hours, etc. Of course we do, do things with all of the kids but we all try and find time to do things just as adults.
We actually go out and do more things with our married couples who have children than ones without children or single people.
Sure they may WANT to. But the more children you have, good luck enlisting a parent to babysit for 2+ kids. It's a lot of work to ask a parent (who is older, 60s) to watch 2+ kids so you can simply go out to eat with DH. That again, to many of us, is a luxury in OUR lives. And I come from a BIG Italian family that unless your grandparents or aunt/uncle watched you, no one had a nonfamily member "babysit". I was never watched by anyone other than my grandmothers EVER in my life, not even for one night. And that is pretty much how most of my family operates re babysitters. So no, most people I associate with do not get sitters just to go out to eat, and do not ask their parents to watch their DC just to go out to eat or to a movie. If they do, its very very rarely, like 2 times a year at most.
I understand if you are relying only on older parents. Our sitters were mostly family (VERY rare a parent though as they all live out of state or did not have a relationship with their grandchildren) and 2 paid sitters.
I have 2 children and never had a problem finding someone but again, we don't go out that often that I would be relying on a sitter constantly.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:48 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by 2PreciousBlessings
Our families always help out with each other kids because in our family it takes a village to raise a child.
See that's why we all differ and can't compare. I personally don't believe in the it takes a village to raise a child and would never want that for my child, as IMO she is my responsibility and no one else's (including grandparents). That's where all of our different mindsets come from on how we answer this OP.
ITA!! But even though my family and dh family believe in it takes a village to raise child....it does not mean that we do not think our kids are OUR Responsibilities...It means that we all help each other out when it is necessary and if any of the kids are misbehaving we also scolds them as well. No one in our families walks away from their responsibilities we just rally together AS family in everything we do.
Message edited 6/7/2011 10:53:07 AM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:51 AM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Not all that often but we were kind of homebodies BC (before Charlie). While I think date nights are fun - and I probably enjoy them more than DH bc I am more of a 'going out' kind of gal - I think any time you can spend together to re-fuel is important. I don't think you need a dinner out to do that...
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:51 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by 2PreciousBlessings
ITA!! But even though my family and dh family believe in it takes a village to raise child....it does not mean that we do not think our kids are OUR Responsibilities...It means that we all help each other out when it is necessary and if any of the kids are misbehaving we also scolds them as well. No one in our families walks away from their responsibilities we just rally together AS family in everything we do.
I see what you are saying and that's great to have a family like that. But I know a few people who had children and were probably NOT ready, but expect their parents to pick up the slack and help raise the child. I always joke with DH and say they want a village to raise their DC. It's like they want the benefits of having a child but also want everything else too (playtime, date time, me time, etc). If they want to get a babysitter, then fine, more power to them. But to put that on family/parents/esp older parents is simply unfair. Not talking about you but the few i know in my life...
Message edited 8/12/2013 5:07:45 PM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 10:57 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by 2PreciousBlessings
Posted by Goobster
Posted by 2PreciousBlessings
Our families always help out with each other kids because in our family it takes a village to raise a child.
See that's why we all differ and can't compare. I personally don't believe in the it takes a village to raise a child and would never want that for my child, as IMO she is my responsibility and no one else's (including grandparents). That's where all of our different mindsets come from on how we answer this OP.
ITA!! But even though my family and dh family believe in it takes a village to raise child....it does not mean that we do not think our kids are OUR Responsibilities...It means that we all help each other out when it is necessary and if any of the kids are misbehaving we also scolds them as well. No one in our families walks away from their responsibilities we just rally together AS family in everything we do.
I see what you are saying and that's great to have a family like that. But I know a few people who had children and were probably NOT ready, but expect their parents to pick up the slack and help raise the child. I always joke with DH and say they want a village to raise their DC. It's like they want the benefits of having a child but also want everything else too (playtime, date time, me time, etc). If they want to get a babysitter, then fine, more power to them. But to put that on family/parents/esp older parents is simply unfair. Not talking about you but the few i know in my life...
To me, I didn't expect to have my cake and eat it too when I had my DC. I expected to make many sacrifices and to me, a luxury like a dinner/drink/date night is one of them. Again thats just me.
To each his own but IN MY FAMILY we believe in that phrase but it does not mean that we run away from OUR RESPONSIBILITIES. It's not like we DUMP our kids on others we don't do that. But if anyone needs assistance or need to go somewhere we will gladly help out because THAT is what family should do. Also, whenever there's a newborn in our family our families are there to render assistance to the parents because as well know help is very crucial after having a baby and it also help the mother to rest and not feel overwhelmed and even sink into depression.
Message edited 6/7/2011 11:04:55 AM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:00 AM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by 2PreciousBlessings
Posted by Goobster
Posted by 2PreciousBlessings
Our families always help out with each other kids because in our family it takes a village to raise a child.
See that's why we all differ and can't compare. I personally don't believe in the it takes a village to raise a child and would never want that for my child, as IMO she is my responsibility and no one else's (including grandparents). That's where all of our different mindsets come from on how we answer this OP.
ITA!! But even though my family and dh family believe in it takes a village to raise child....it does not mean that we do not think our kids are OUR Responsibilities...It means that we all help each other out when it is necessary and if any of the kids are misbehaving we also scolds them as well. No one in our families walks away from their responsibilities we just rally together AS family in everything we do.
I see what you are saying and that's great to have a family like that. But I know a few people who had children and were probably NOT ready, but expect their parents to pick up the slack and help raise the child. I always joke with DH and say they want a village to raise their DC. It's like they want the benefits of having a child but also want everything else too (playtime, date time, me time, etc). If they want to get a babysitter, then fine, more power to them. But to put that on family/parents/esp older parents is simply unfair. Not talking about you but the few i know in my life...
To me, I didn't expect to have my cake and eat it too when I had my DC. I expected to make many sacrifices and to me, a luxury like a dinner/drink/date night is one of them. Again thats just me.
I agree THAT is not right. I would never expect others to be basically raising my children just so I can go out and party.
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:04 AM |
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MrsPornStar
Partners in crime
Member since 10/05 14656 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We go out every few months with friends. Very rarely do we go out by ourselves. We are lucky that my mother offers to watch our children. However, what we have done a few times is we take the day off and send the kids to daycare so we can have a couples day. Both of my sons love daycare and enjoy the structure of it. I also feel it is so important to date your spouse and have some quality alone time together. We love being together as a family but we also know that we have to take care of our relationship as well.
lately, we have been sitting outside on the porch when the kids go to sleep so that we have some alone time as well. While the kids are sleeping, we get some couple time.
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:07 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We go out a few times a month. We have our movie nights, sit on the porch after the kids are in bed but we also go out to dinner & concerts with and without the kids.
I don't think it's necessary to go out with your DH if that's not your thing. Am I the only one thinking you can "date" your spouse without leaving the house? And now that I typed that I'm wondering if that's a euphemism for 
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:10 AM |
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We don't get out too often, maybe once every 2 to 3 months. When we go out it's after the kids are sleeping. It's very hard to get someone to watch 4 kids.
We watch movies and talk after the kids go to sleep.
We are very passionate about each other and always find time to  so frequent date night outside the home can sit on the back burner for now and when I feel the need to get dressed up and go out for drinks, then i'll make arrangements to make it happen- but 9 out of 10 times it's after they are sleeping.
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:11 AM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We go out once or twice a month, either for a dinner or a weekend lunch. This is only when my parents are free to watch the kids, so it's really entirely dependent on their availability-- sometimes it might be 3 weekends in a row, sometimes 2 months go by! It ebbs and flows.
When nobody is available to watch the kids, we just wait till they go to bed on a Sat night, open up a bottle of wine and some snacks, and enjoy a movie or board game at home together. Honestly some of these nights have been just as good, if not better, than going out.
I'm surprised by some of the blanket statements about how a happy, strong marriage can supposedly ONLY be maintained by having these date nights out. That's pretty harsh. This is like saying a working mom "has someone else raise her kids", or a SAHM "just sits around all day". Who wants to hear their values-driven lifestyle decision boiled down to a stereotype like that?
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:15 AM |
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BethanyLynn
Love these munchkins
Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
Name:
Bethany
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Hardly ever. My MIL watches DD Mon-Fri so I never ever ask her for a weekend unless its a wedding, funeral or something of that nature. Have recently started looking for babysitters because we need OUT!
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:18 AM |
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by carolyns4cupcakes
We don't get out too often, maybe once every 2 to 3 months. When we go out it's after the kids are sleeping. It's very hard to get someone to watch 4 kids.
We watch movies and talk after the kids go to sleep.
We are very passionate about each other and always find time to so frequent date night outside the home can sit on the back burner for now and when I feel the need to get dressed up and go out for drinks, then i'll make arrangements to make it happen- but 9 out of 10 times it's after they are sleeping.
Carolyn, you are too funny. I'm sure most DHs prefer s*x over steak anyway.
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:20 AM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Not often enough. I have no one who lives in my area to watch DS, and I can't afford a babysitter right now.
Every 2 months or so my IL's come and spend the night so we can go out.
I love going out, and being just DH and myself. And yes, we go out and party. 
I should add, no one else puts DS to bed but me. Actually this weekend is the first time ever someone other then DH or myself is going to put DS to bed because we have a wedding.
Message edited 6/7/2011 11:22:40 AM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:21 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
well...i will say it.
just read thread...
sometimes it is nice to be alone in car with dh because, well...what guy doesn't appreciate the passenger holding onto the stick while he drives?
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:23 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Janice
well...i will say it.
just read thread...
sometimes it is nice to be alone in car with dh because, well...what guy doesn't appreciate the passenger holding onto the stick while he drives?
Janice, isn't that the reason for backwards facing til they are 10?
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:27 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Am I the only one thinking you can "date" your spouse without leaving the house? And now that I typed that I'm wondering if that's a euphemism for
I was thinking the same thing. We'll make dinner together, have wine, watch a movie, snuggle...For us, we have as much reconnection that way as going out to eat.
Message edited 6/7/2011 11:29:05 AM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:28 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by Janice
well...i will say it.
just read thread...
sometimes it is nice to be alone in car with dh because, well...what guy doesn't appreciate the passenger holding onto the stick while he drives?
Janice, isn't that the reason for backwards facing til they are 10?
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| Posted 6/7/11 11:29 AM |
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