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Jonsgirl04
Love my two girls! xoxo
Member since 9/08 6079 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
So my brother is supposed to be the Godfather to Ava on Sunday. He had to get a paper signed from his church that he is a parishoner there. Well he made his comminion there and this is where we grew up going to church. So he goes to get it signed and the woman was down right nasty to him and tells him he is not registered there so she wont sign it..He asks what that meant and she tells him your not on the mailing list. So he asks to look up my moms name and its not there. Lady says sorry cant do it. Anyway my mom never gave her address growing up. This was also her church growing up. So she also has been going there for over 50 years. I just cant believe this.. So now i am p.i.s.s.e.d. off he p.i.s.s.e.d off, i told him to go to another church. Where he just made confirmation 2 years ago. So this church says ok, before we sign it you just need to fill out this paper work so my brother did all of it and hands it in...Well the woman says to him you were married at Sunset Harbour..we cant sign this since you didnt marry in a church...  I Just cant right now..I want to cry!! My brother was just godfather to my Uncles child 3 weeks ago and didnt have a problem..*** is wrong with these churches!!!! Just friggen sign the damn paper!!! So if no one will sign it he can only be a christian witness!! This is not what I wanted for my DD..Can anyone tell me what I can do?? 
Message edited 8/3/2010 12:57:13 PM.
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Posted 8/3/10 12:53 PM  |
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secret2under2
LIF Zygote
Member since 7/10 45 total posts
Name:
mama
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
can your brother add his name to the mailing list and get the paper signed?
thats what i had to do - i moved several years ago - im not religious but still consider myself catholic. my goddaughter lived over an hr away. i went to the church and said i had just moved there (wasnt true - i moved there like 5 years ago) and was asked to baptize my neice but my original church where i grew up is not my home church anymore.
They took my name and address signed all the paperwork for me and now send me donation collections all the time.
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| Posted 8/3/10 1:05 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Oh shiit, I'm so sorry to hear this.
Every church is a little different. Some are more conservative than others. One local church rejected my girlfriend as Godmother because she did not get married in a church, while the church right down the road had no problem with this and just wanted to see the Sponsor Certificate, which she got easily at the church where she made her sacraments.
So, your DH just got confirmed recently? The church was okay with confirming him but he can't be a Godparent? 
Man made rules.
I have no advice other than to try other churches. I know how you feel, though. I had to make a few phone calls before I found a place that could accept our situation, too.
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| Posted 8/3/10 1:05 PM |
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Jonsgirl04
Love my two girls! xoxo
Member since 9/08 6079 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by secret2under2
can your brother add his name to the mailing list and get the paper signed?
thats what i had to do - i moved several years ago - im not religious but still consider myself catholic. my goddaughter lived over an hr away. i went to the church and said i had just moved there (wasnt true - i moved there like 5 years ago) and was asked to baptize my neice but my original church where i grew up is not my home church anymore.
They took my name and address signed all the paperwork for me and now send me donation collections all the time.
I am going to have him try the church by his house. He really did just move into his new house so maybe they will be nicer to him . Plus he would be having his baby baptised there within the next 6 months since he will be having his 1st in 2 months
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| Posted 8/3/10 1:15 PM |
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LeShellem
A new beginning
Member since 2/07 3600 total posts
Name:
LeShelle
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by Jonsgirl04
Posted by secret2under2
can your brother add his name to the mailing list and get the paper signed?
thats what i had to do - i moved several years ago - im not religious but still consider myself catholic. my goddaughter lived over an hr away. i went to the church and said i had just moved there (wasnt true - i moved there like 5 years ago) and was asked to baptize my neice but my original church where i grew up is not my home church anymore.
They took my name and address signed all the paperwork for me and now send me donation collections all the time.
I am going to have him try the church by his house. He really did just move into his new house so maybe they will be nicer to him . Plus he would be having his baby baptised there within the next 6 months since he will be having his 1st in 2 months
]
Definately have him do this. Have him sign up as a new member. Once that is done they should be able to sign the paperwork. We had a similiar situation with my brother wanting to babtise his son at my church. I told him to go in as a new member and say you are living with me. They became members and was able to baptise their son. It is aweful what you have to do for the church.
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| Posted 8/3/10 1:22 PM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
My church where I got married is basically saying the same exact thing to us. Very similar issue with one our godparents  We are going to try to baptise DS is another church (DH's church growing up). When I spoke to them on the phone, they seemed a bit more willing to work with us - hopefully your brother's home church will let him register as a parishioner and will fill out the paperwork for him. He may have to bring proof that he was baptized, confirmed, and did his communion to show them.
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| Posted 8/3/10 1:24 PM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Wow- strict churches!
The church I used for DD's baptism just asked if Godparents were confirmed. I said yes and that was that- no questions asked!
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| Posted 8/3/10 1:31 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
We had a "similar" issue with my DD's Godfather....
They live in PA and were not "registered" with a church there...However my BIL and SIL (the Godparents) were married at the church DD was being christened at...My BIL was even a Godfather to his niece months prior...They gave me a major hard time and we escalated it to the Deacon at the church who finally authorized it...
Unless I am mistaken, but we were told that if someone is Catholic, they cannot be a Christian witness  So just check on that 
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| Posted 8/3/10 2:46 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by Bops
Unless I am mistaken, but we were told that if someone is Catholic, they cannot be a Christian witness So just check on that
I think this is correct. Technically, I think if you are a Catholic and want to be a godparent, you are supposed to be a Catholic "in good standing" which means attending Church regularly and have received sacraments in the Church (including confirmation and marriage).
The churches are not consistent with checking these things, though. When I was a godmother, I needed a letter from my parish pastor stating I was a Catholic in good standing. When I baptized my own son, in a different Church, they didn't ask me for any documentation at all.
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| Posted 8/3/10 2:53 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
my brother and sister in law had to physically go to their parish and register for the TITHING ENVELOPES. that is where they mail you the months worth of envelopes to donate $. thats really all they give a hoot about. So by registered, they need to see they are on the tithing mailing list. Your mom could donate for 20 years..if they dont have the envelopes, then I dont think they consider you "registered."
My bro and sis-inlaw signed up, donated money for a few months, and got their letters stating they were a registered member of whatever parish. I had to submit all these papers 2 weeks before our baptism. My church asked me 1001 things about DH & I and the godparents.
Some churches are strict with all this..ours was. (I live in PA). DH is godson to his friends kid and NOTHING was asked of DH for their church.
(its in hicksville..i forget the name but apparantley they are not as strict with their godparents. In fact, the godmother is married to a jewish person and that wasnt a problem).
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| Posted 8/3/10 3:33 PM |
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KennysMommy
Never knew LOVE like it before
Member since 3/10 2640 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
This is why I don't believe in organized religion. Sorry you're going through all this. It's not right, but that's how they make $$$$...
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| Posted 8/3/10 3:55 PM |
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jgl
Love my little boys!!!
Member since 8/07 7060 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
I think it is strange that the your church wants proof that he is a parishioner in another church. My church wants proof that the godparents recieved their sacraments (or that at least 1 has)
I cant believe his church is being so difficult. Ive been living acorss the street froma church for almost 2 years. I never once went to mass. I went there 3 weeks ago became a parishioner and set up a date for my sons baptism a few days later when the priest was available to meet with us
Message edited 8/3/2010 4:20:04 PM.
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| Posted 8/3/10 4:18 PM |
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MDF
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Member since 5/05 2313 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
When I was getting married I had a problem fining a church that would marry us because we weren't registered members anywhere. I called and said I would like to become a registered member. The next day I called and said "Hi I am a registered member and would like to get married" They said no problem, and that was that.
As pp said I would tell him to register then call back the next day and request the paper to be signed.
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| Posted 8/3/10 9:25 PM |
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mishka
love my little emmy monster
Member since 8/09 1473 total posts
Name:
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
how annoying. im sure everything will work itself out!!!! can your mom talk to the church for him? does your mom know anyone in the parish other than this mean lady?
i dont know the rules of stuff but we just went for our meeting today and they said its just "christian witness" on paper but the person is still called godfather/mother by DC...it's just "technical" bs. so as long as u have 1 person who fulfills the "catholic" rules itll be okay.
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| Posted 8/3/10 9:40 PM |
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nylisa
My Children
Member since 5/05 7905 total posts
Name:
MaMa
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by JennyPenny
Wow- strict churches!
The church I used for DD's baptism just asked if Godparents were confirmed. I said yes and that was that- no questions asked!
Mine was the same
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| Posted 8/3/10 10:46 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
My church wasn't very strict either about asking for god parent's paperwork, but we are (DH and I) members of the parish in good standing and are friendly with the Deacon.
If he is in a new area and will having his DS baptized there, he should become a registered member of the parish.
I know people think that the Catholic Church is all about money, but it isn't... I know in my church, we have a major food pantry and outreach service. We help people pay their heating bills in the winter. We help people try and get jobs. All of these services are paid for via donations by the people of the parish.
Having envelopes gives the church a better idea of the # of people in the parish and helps them estimate an operating budget to run the church AND all the services the church offers.
As a member of the parish we are given weekly reports in the bulletin as to what amount of money is brought in and at the end of the year annual reports are handed out so we know where the money is spent. It doesn't go to line the pockets of the priests...
Going to church and supporting the works of the church is part of being a Catholic Christian. I don't understand why people complain about the religion and yet want to be a part of it (or want to initiate their children into it, but want really no part of the day-to-day?)
Is the church perfect? absolutely not... but it seems that people over look the good the church does and constantly harps on the negative..
I don't mean to rant... but every month or so there are posts about how unfair the Catholic church is and as a Catholic, I find it a little insulting...
Message edited 8/3/2010 11:01:02 PM.
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| Posted 8/3/10 10:59 PM |
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by Sassyz75
My church wasn't very strict either about asking for god parent's paperwork, but we are (DH and I) members of the parish in good standing and are friendly with the Deacon.
If he is in a new area and will having his DS baptized there, he should become a registered member of the parish.
I know people think that the Catholic Church is all about money, but it isn't... I know in my church, we have a major food pantry and outreach service. We help people pay their heating bills in the winter. We help people try and get jobs. All of these services are paid for via donations by the people of the parish.
Having envelopes gives the church a better idea of the # of people in the parish and helps them estimate an operating budget to run the church AND all the services the church offers.
As a member of the parish we are given weekly reports in the bulletin as to what amount of money is brought in and at the end of the year annual reports are handed out so we know where the money is spent. It doesn't go to line the pockets of the priests...
Going to church and supporting the works of the church is part of being a Catholic Christian. I don't understand why people complain about the religion and yet want to be a part of it (or want to initiate their children into it, but want really no part of the day-to-day?)
Is the church perfect? absolutely not... but it seems that people over look the good the church does and constantly harps on the negative..
I don't mean to rant... but every month or so there are posts about how unfair the Catholic church is and as a Catholic, I find it a little insulting...
Wow, someone needs to put down the kool aid.....
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| Posted 8/4/10 8:59 AM |
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secret2under2
LIF Zygote
Member since 7/10 45 total posts
Name:
mama
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by Sassyz75
My church wasn't very strict either about asking for god parent's paperwork, but we are (DH and I) members of the parish in good standing and are friendly with the Deacon.
If he is in a new area and will having his DS baptized there, he should become a registered member of the parish.
I know people think that the Catholic Church is all about money, but it isn't... I know in my church, we have a major food pantry and outreach service. We help people pay their heating bills in the winter. We help people try and get jobs. All of these services are paid for via donations by the people of the parish.
Having envelopes gives the church a better idea of the # of people in the parish and helps them estimate an operating budget to run the church AND all the services the church offers.
As a member of the parish we are given weekly reports in the bulletin as to what amount of money is brought in and at the end of the year annual reports are handed out so we know where the money is spent. It doesn't go to line the pockets of the priests...
Going to church and supporting the works of the church is part of being a Catholic Christian. I don't understand why people complain about the religion and yet want to be a part of it (or want to initiate their children into it, but want really no part of the day-to-day?)
Is the church perfect? absolutely not... but it seems that people over look the good the church does and constantly harps on the negative..
I don't mean to rant... but every month or so there are posts about how unfair the Catholic church is and as a Catholic, I find it a little insulting...
i dont think the op or any of the responses are insulting the church. She was mearly just expressing how upset she was about the situation.
I dont think any of the posts were insulting the church - sorry u feel that way
Message edited 8/4/2010 9:13:53 AM.
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| Posted 8/4/10 9:13 AM |
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RandiG
Love my Boys!
Member since 7/09 4440 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by JennyPenny
Wow- strict churches!
The church I used for DD's baptism just asked if Godparents were confirmed. I said yes and that was that- no questions asked!
Same here.
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| Posted 8/4/10 9:29 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by disneychick13
Posted by Sassyz75
My church wasn't very strict either about asking for god parent's paperwork, but we are (DH and I) members of the parish in good standing and are friendly with the Deacon.
If he is in a new area and will having his DS baptized there, he should become a registered member of the parish.
I know people think that the Catholic Church is all about money, but it isn't... I know in my church, we have a major food pantry and outreach service. We help people pay their heating bills in the winter. We help people try and get jobs. All of these services are paid for via donations by the people of the parish.
Having envelopes gives the church a better idea of the # of people in the parish and helps them estimate an operating budget to run the church AND all the services the church offers.
As a member of the parish we are given weekly reports in the bulletin as to what amount of money is brought in and at the end of the year annual reports are handed out so we know where the money is spent. It doesn't go to line the pockets of the priests...
Going to church and supporting the works of the church is part of being a Catholic Christian. I don't understand why people complain about the religion and yet want to be a part of it (or want to initiate their children into it, but want really no part of the day-to-day?)
Is the church perfect? absolutely not... but it seems that people over look the good the church does and constantly harps on the negative..
I don't mean to rant... but every month or so there are posts about how unfair the Catholic church is and as a Catholic, I find it a little insulting...
Wow, someone needs to put down the kool aid.....
what does this mean? she was stating her opinion, nothing wrong with that
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| Posted 8/4/10 9:54 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by disneychick13
Posted by Sassyz75
My church wasn't very strict either about asking for god parent's paperwork, but we are (DH and I) members of the parish in good standing and are friendly with the Deacon.
If he is in a new area and will having his DS baptized there, he should become a registered member of the parish.
I know people think that the Catholic Church is all about money, but it isn't... I know in my church, we have a major food pantry and outreach service. We help people pay their heating bills in the winter. We help people try and get jobs. All of these services are paid for via donations by the people of the parish.
Having envelopes gives the church a better idea of the # of people in the parish and helps them estimate an operating budget to run the church AND all the services the church offers.
As a member of the parish we are given weekly reports in the bulletin as to what amount of money is brought in and at the end of the year annual reports are handed out so we know where the money is spent. It doesn't go to line the pockets of the priests...
Going to church and supporting the works of the church is part of being a Catholic Christian. I don't understand why people complain about the religion and yet want to be a part of it (or want to initiate their children into it, but want really no part of the day-to-day?)
Is the church perfect? absolutely not... but it seems that people over look the good the church does and constantly harps on the negative..
I don't mean to rant... but every month or so there are posts about how unfair the Catholic church is and as a Catholic, I find it a little insulting...
Wow, someone needs to put down the kool aid.....
what does this mean? she was stating her opinion, nothing wrong with that
ITA.
Honestly, as frustrating as it can be the church is within its rights to ask for proof that a god parent to be is a practicing Catholic. They are standing before God saying that they will help this child in their religious education and journey. If you are not an active member of the church, how can you make that promise?
I feel for the OP and I went through something similar with my son's Godparents. But, if the church had rejected my brother and his wife on the basis of the fact that they didn't meet the church criteria then so be it. If we want to be members of this church we have to accept their requirements.
The truly frustrating part is the lack of consistency among the local parishes. Some churches make exceptions that others do not. However, we can't get angry at the parishes that uphold the standards of the church just because others do not. That's not fair.
To the OP-I really hope you get this sorted out and that it works out the way you want it to
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| Posted 8/4/10 10:03 AM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by pinkandblue
Posted by disneychick13
Posted by Sassyz75
My church wasn't very strict either about asking for god parent's paperwork, but we are (DH and I) members of the parish in good standing and are friendly with the Deacon.
If he is in a new area and will having his DS baptized there, he should become a registered member of the parish.
I know people think that the Catholic Church is all about money, but it isn't... I know in my church, we have a major food pantry and outreach service. We help people pay their heating bills in the winter. We help people try and get jobs. All of these services are paid for via donations by the people of the parish.
Having envelopes gives the church a better idea of the # of people in the parish and helps them estimate an operating budget to run the church AND all the services the church offers.
As a member of the parish we are given weekly reports in the bulletin as to what amount of money is brought in and at the end of the year annual reports are handed out so we know where the money is spent. It doesn't go to line the pockets of the priests...
Going to church and supporting the works of the church is part of being a Catholic Christian. I don't understand why people complain about the religion and yet want to be a part of it (or want to initiate their children into it, but want really no part of the day-to-day?)
Is the church perfect? absolutely not... but it seems that people over look the good the church does and constantly harps on the negative..
I don't mean to rant... but every month or so there are posts about how unfair the Catholic church is and as a Catholic, I find it a little insulting...
Wow, someone needs to put down the kool aid.....
what does this mean? she was stating her opinion, nothing wrong with that
ITA with pinkandblue.
But for Sassy, I think the OP wasn't complaining about money or the church itself, but venting about her frustration over her brother not being able to get "approval" (for lack of a better word) to be her child's godfather. As someone who is going through something similar, I understand her frustration.
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| Posted 8/4/10 10:03 AM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by Sassyz75
My church wasn't very strict either about asking for god parent's paperwork, but we are (DH and I) members of the parish in good standing and are friendly with the Deacon.
If he is in a new area and will having his DS baptized there, he should become a registered member of the parish.
I know people think that the Catholic Church is all about money, but it isn't... I know in my church, we have a major food pantry and outreach service. We help people pay their heating bills in the winter. We help people try and get jobs. All of these services are paid for via donations by the people of the parish.
Having envelopes gives the church a better idea of the # of people in the parish and helps them estimate an operating budget to run the church AND all the services the church offers.
As a member of the parish we are given weekly reports in the bulletin as to what amount of money is brought in and at the end of the year annual reports are handed out so we know where the money is spent. It doesn't go to line the pockets of the priests...
Going to church and supporting the works of the church is part of being a Catholic Christian. I don't understand why people complain about the religion and yet want to be a part of it (or want to initiate their children into it, but want really no part of the day-to-day?)
Is the church perfect? absolutely not... but it seems that people over look the good the church does and constantly harps on the negative..
I don't mean to rant... but every month or so there are posts about how unfair the Catholic church is and as a Catholic, I find it a little insulting...
Then you would think churches doing such good will would be willing to accept people who want to baptize their child to the religion.
Why turn people away? I would think a church would welcome people who want to baptize their children.
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| Posted 8/4/10 10:24 AM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Speak to a priest!!!!!!!!!! Those ladies are nuts sometimes.. I am sooo mad for you!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 8/4/10 10:29 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: I AM REALLY MAD AT THE CHURCH!!! (LONG)
Posted by smdl
Posted by Sassyz75
My church wasn't very strict either about asking for god parent's paperwork, but we are (DH and I) members of the parish in good standing and are friendly with the Deacon.
If he is in a new area and will having his DS baptized there, he should become a registered member of the parish.
I know people think that the Catholic Church is all about money, but it isn't... I know in my church, we have a major food pantry and outreach service. We help people pay their heating bills in the winter. We help people try and get jobs. All of these services are paid for via donations by the people of the parish.
Having envelopes gives the church a better idea of the # of people in the parish and helps them estimate an operating budget to run the church AND all the services the church offers.
As a member of the parish we are given weekly reports in the bulletin as to what amount of money is brought in and at the end of the year annual reports are handed out so we know where the money is spent. It doesn't go to line the pockets of the priests...
Going to church and supporting the works of the church is part of being a Catholic Christian. I don't understand why people complain about the religion and yet want to be a part of it (or want to initiate their children into it, but want really no part of the day-to-day?)
Is the church perfect? absolutely not... but it seems that people over look the good the church does and constantly harps on the negative..
I don't mean to rant... but every month or so there are posts about how unfair the Catholic church is and as a Catholic, I find it a little insulting...
Then you would think churches doing such good will would be willing to accept people who want to baptize their child to the religion.
Why turn people away? I would think a church would welcome people who want to baptize their children.
But I think they want parents and godparents to be sincere in the baptism.
I don't mean to say that anyone isn't sincere in their beliefs or question their faith, but I think they have these requirements to ensure there is a basic level of commitment to the church.
If someone isn't member of the church or an active member who has gone through the requirements of the church for themselves, how can they promise that they will do this for the child? Again, I'm not questioning anyone's faith and I don't judge, but I do understand the church's position on this-as frustrating as the inconsistencies can be for us as parents.
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| Posted 8/4/10 10:37 AM |
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