I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

So here are the facts:
#1
Every year for the last 15 or so years Christmas Eve is at Grandmas. No one comes till 7 or so to start. For the last 6 years I do the majority of cooking, set up & clean up.

#2
DS was on a 8:15Pm- 6:15am sleep schedule. Was waking during the night a few times crying.

A few weeks ago we had DS out one night. He would NOT go to sleep. He ende dup awake till almost 10:30PM. His schedule fo r the next 11 days or was was horrible. He just could not get to sleep before 10PM and was sleeping until almost 8 am (later a few times).

#3
I am a FT working Mom who is BF & pumping. When DS sleeps late I need to pump instead of nurse him in the AM. I leave for work between 6:30 & 8:30 AM (differnt start time every day). I used to be able to nurse him about 6:40AM and only pump occasionally in the morning. My supply had been great since being back to work 3 1/2 months ago.

#4
We are in the process of letting DS do a modified CIO. He needs to stop waking & needing to be held to go back to sleep. It's been better each night since Friday. He has been asleep around 8:15 and waking around 6:00AM or so every day since!! (some crying fits in there, but I expect that with not picking him up any more)

#5
The eratic waking schedule along with other stresses was KILLING my milk supply so I am getting stressed about that in turn making it even worse. DS is more or less refusng the boob in the AM now & at the PM nursing he falls asleep because he is working so hard.

#6
I am working Christmas Eve all day till 5 plus a few hours on Christmas Day (they have the right to call me in earlier if gets busy)

Am I wrong for insisting I keep DS home in our house for Christmas Eve? I wanted everyone to come here. No one wants to. So we are staying home alone.

Everyone thinks I am wrong.

Am I?

OK..........this is REALLY long winded, so thank you if you actually read ALL of this!!! But I am SO stressed now.

Message edited 12/24/2008 12:42:25 AM.

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

I am sorry you are so stressed. Do they live far away? Is it possible u can swing by for an hr--maybe just dessert and still be home in time for the normal sleep schedule?
If not, the too bad for everyone else..adjustments should be understood when a baby is in the picture not to mention u seem to have alot on ur plate..

try and relax

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by Michi

I am sorry you are so stressed. Do they live far away? Is it possible u can swing by for an hr--maybe just dessert and still be home in time for the normal sleep schedule?
If not, the too bad for everyone else..adjustments should be understood when a baby is in the picture not to mention u seem to have alot on ur plate..

try and relax

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by lorimarie

Honestly, I couldn't have said it better.

2 years ago we were at my aunts for Christmas Eve and I wanted to leave early b/c the kids had gotten past the point of no return, were so bad b/c they were exhausted and overtired. Everyone in the family started dropping comments and I got really upset.

At that point I vowed to do what is best for my kids - the following year I left when it was their bedtime, they fell asleep in the car and we transfered them into their rooms and no harm was done.

My point is you need to do what is best for YOU!!!! You have so much on your plate, you and your husband are both working long hours and 6 days a week. Don't give in to the stress - you have enough of it already.

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

If doing allllllll of those things makes you miserable, then don't do them.

But I do have to say that it is Christmas and it is your DS' first Christmas. People are going to want to see him--and you and DH--and make memories with you guys.

My MO with holidays is that I really go with the flow, always has been. DS is "off schedule" of any kind and it makes it fun (and interesting ) for everyone involved!

But, like I said. If going stresses you out too much and no one will have any fun, then stay home and do your own thing

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

If its really going to throw him off that much and cause such a hard time for the days following, I would stay home. Were your relatives asked if it could be moved earlier? Even if you got there at 6, it would still give you a good hour to spend time, get him home and stay on schedule. Otherwise, i'd be home too. Sorry, but, babay comes first now and always. I think you're doing the right thing. Merry Christmas!

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

you dc will only be this young this one year.... its not liike you wont be spending CHirstmas day with everyone.
Plus you are five minutes away, if your family wants to see him, they can stop by right?
I say do whats best for your ds and yourself!

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by KateDevine

If doing allllllll of those things makes you miserable, then don't do them.

But I do have to say that it is Christmas and it is your DS' first Christmas. People are going to want to see him--and you and DH--and make memories with you guys.

My MO with holidays is that I really go with the flow, always has been. DS is "off schedule" of any kind and it makes it fun (and interesting ) for everyone involved!

But, like I said. If going stresses you out too much and no one will have any fun, then stay home and do your own thing

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

I am going to give you a different perspective and I know how hard and tiring it is with little ones. My kids are older, 10 and above. My sister has little ones, one a baby who cries alot and my brother has 2 babies 2 1/2 and 1. I love them and love to spend time with them but I don't want to have to change my plans because of the kids. (My sister just goes with the flow as I did when my kids were small) Its not fair to others. What about my kids, they like the traditions that we have. Honestly, they arent going to pick up in the middle of a holiday to stop by. Try to stop by your moms. Stay a short while and play it by ear. If it gets to much then you can leave or maybe you could go a little earlier and just say hi. Try not to stress, it goes by so quickly when they are little. Merry Christmas to you

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

It's a tough one - I would say if she is 5 mins away maybe go from 7-730- and give him the bottle on the way home or as soon as you get home - I think if you are off by 10 or 15 mins it shouldn't totally kill his schedule - but you have to do what you are comfortable with.

We get a lot of slack from MIL b.c we don't go to BIL's for christmas eve. We don't go b.c their kids are older (when they were DD's age they put their foot down and refused to go out late but now we hear it from the family that when we do the same.) For us though their party is full of people - including non family and friends - almost every year they have the stomach flu going around the family 1-3 days before the party, they don't start until 7 or 8 and go until 11 or 12 - but they are a little more than an hour away. If they were closer we would definitely go for at least a little while - but with them so far and often sick it is hard.

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by KateDevine

If doing allllllll of those things makes you miserable, then don't do them.

But I do have to say that it is Christmas and it is your DS' first Christmas. People are going to want to see him--and you and DH--and make memories with you guys.

My MO with holidays is that I really go with the flow, always has been. DS is "off schedule" of any kind and it makes it fun (and interesting ) for everyone involved!

But, like I said. If going stresses you out too much and no one will have any fun, then stay home and do your own thing

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by Tine73

Posted by KateDevine

If doing allllllll of those things makes you miserable, then don't do them.

But I do have to say that it is Christmas and it is your DS' first Christmas. People are going to want to see him--and you and DH--and make memories with you guys.

My MO with holidays is that I really go with the flow, always has been. DS is "off schedule" of any kind and it makes it fun (and interesting ) for everyone involved!

But, like I said. If going stresses you out too much and no one will have any fun, then stay home and do your own thing

I agree....but my DD has always been a good sleeper so her being off schedule isn't a big concern for me.

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Coming from someone who has a child who had to be in bed by 6:30 I understand what you are saying. If he wasn't he was up all night - and then would wake up the next few nights in a row.

That being said, I did make exceptions for holidays and he actually did really really well. He was 6 months old last Christmas and lasted until about 10pm. At that point he lost his mind and it was only fair to him that we leave. It wasn't bad for me though because DH is a teacher and off after Christmas so we would take turns if DS woke up. If you are working full time and exhausted I don't know how much I would push it!

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

There is absolutely NO reason why the family can't change up their LOCATION for ONE year and come to your house. - You do most of the work/cooking anyway, so what is the big deal?

I agree with you 100%, you'd not being some kind of Nazi saying no one can go near the baby etc etc. - You're simply asking that they change the location and come to YOUR house (which means MORE work for you !!) -

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by Tine73

Posted by KateDevine

If doing allllllll of those things makes you miserable, then don't do them.

But I do have to say that it is Christmas and it is your DS' first Christmas. People are going to want to see him--and you and DH--and make memories with you guys.

My MO with holidays is that I really go with the flow, always has been. DS is "off schedule" of any kind and it makes it fun (and interesting ) for everyone involved!

But, like I said. If going stresses you out too much and no one will have any fun, then stay home and do your own thing

I agree....but my DD has always been a good sleeper so her being off schedule isn't a big concern for me.

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

I think with all of the things you posted, I don't blame you. You offered for them to come to you, they said no so that's that IMO. I wouldn't want to go if I would have to pay a harsh price for the next few weeks. JMO

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

I would go the compromise route. Maybe get there around 6. Be there when everyone shows up so you can see them and they can all say hi to baby. leave around 7:30-7:45 so DC can be in bed by 8:15 like usual.

Maybe even suggest a few key people get there a bit early to spend more time with you?

Hope it works out

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Message edited 12/24/2008 12:05:41 PM.

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by KateDevine

If doing allllllll of those things makes you miserable, then don't do them.

But I do have to say that it is Christmas and it is your DS' first Christmas. People are going to want to see him--and you and DH--and make memories with you guys.

My MO with holidays is that I really go with the flow, always has been. DS is "off schedule" of any kind and it makes it fun (and interesting ) for everyone involved!

But, like I said. If going stresses you out too much and no one will have any fun, then stay home and do your own thing

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by KateDevine

If doing allllllll of those things makes you miserable, then don't do them.

But I do have to say that it is Christmas and it is your DS' first Christmas. People are going to want to see him--and you and DH--and make memories with you guys.

My MO with holidays is that I really go with the flow, always has been. DS is "off schedule" of any kind and it makes it fun (and interesting ) for everyone involved!

But, like I said. If going stresses you out too much and no one will have any fun, then stay home and do your own thing

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

Posted by rojerono

Posted by KateDevine

If doing allllllll of those things makes you miserable, then don't do them.

But I do have to say that it is Christmas and it is your DS' first Christmas. People are going to want to see him--and you and DH--and make memories with you guys.

My MO with holidays is that I really go with the flow, always has been. DS is "off schedule" of any kind and it makes it fun (and interesting ) for everyone involved!

But, like I said. If going stresses you out too much and no one will have any fun, then stay home and do your own thing

I completely agree with Kate.

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

I am a little worried about tonight b/c dinner doesn't start until 7 and it goes until 1. My DS goes to bed at 8:30 - there are going to be around 70 people there and it is really loud, so it is not like I can put him to sleep in another room. I am more of a go with the flow type person, but my DH is definitely not - should be interesting.

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

I totally understand how brutal it is when your kids get off a schedule and become little demons for days to follow (mine are 2 and 4), BUT, life is way too short to get caught up in the logisitics of who, what when and where. They are only 5 minutes away...I would go for a few hours and enjoy yourself and all the attention your DS will get on his first Christmas. And I would also ask for some of those family members to maybe help you out with babysitting for a few hours here and there over the holidays since your schedule is so busy...it might give you some time to breathe.

You never know what life will bring and not to be a downer, but in the past two years our family has had two terrible deaths and we are so thankful that we all had a great last Christmas with these family members. Just remember what is really important and how in the long run a small schedule snafoo will work itself out.

Enjoy your day however it works out!

Re: I feel like DS NEEDS to be kept on schedule & now the whole family is p*ssed......Christmas Eve Related

we also do x-mad eve dinner at 7:00 and DS bedtime is 8:00 and we have to go to the city (over an hour from me) so we compromised. We are going at around 4:30-5 and will stay till around 9 and i will just keep DS up till then and then he will fall asleep inthe car on the way home. We are also strict with a routine and once DS is off his sleep schedule, it's hard to get him back on it too We still have to here from people oh just bring his pack and play and put him into one of the bedrooms. well its not that easy and DS wont go to sleep that way, esp in a house hes not familiar with. and sorry if me and my DH are selfish, but i refuse to ruin his schedule if its means the next 2-3 months, sleeping will be out of whack.
Do whats good for you and your DC!