I feel like I am losing it...(vent)

I feel like my life is just in chaos lately. I look back to a few years ago pre-DH, pre-marriage, pre-house, pre-baby and I was so organized and in control of my life. Now, I just can't keep up. I dont know what I am doing wrong or how to keep it together.

I feel like my house is literally a toy store. I have gone through old clothes and crap of mine and dh's and thrown out so much and yet it still feels like I haven't made a dent. I work 3 days a week and am home the rest and still feel like I dont have enough time to get done what I need to get done. My house is always a mess...DH thinks I am crazy...but to me our house is a pigsty.

I feel like I am falling apart. I have horrible migraine headaches from stress. My neck hurts every day...I was diagnosed with a herniated disc in my neck and I have to start physical therapy...yeh in my spare time I have a hernia or a cyst or something in my stomach behind my belly button that I have gone to 2 doctors about and they have no idea what it is. So I have to go for a CT Scan and possibly to a surgeon after to have it removed. And I think how the hell am I going to take care of DS???

DH is a cop and his schedule is ALL over the place. He never works the same hours which is partially why I dont work FT. Sometimes he doesnt know what time he is going to work until a few hours before. If I see DH for an hours some days, that is alot. I feel like I am a single mom most days. My parents do help me out a couple days a week but they live in Suffolk about 45 min. from me and I feel bad asking them to come in more than that to help just so I can get laundry, etc. done. Most times I am up until 12 or 1 in the morning doing laundry while DS is sleeping but than he gets up at 7 so I get no sleep and the next day starts all over again.

I just dont know what I am doing wrong. I feel like I can't keep my life together or my families life. DH works alot so I basically take care of everything else. He does help with the baby when he is home, he does do the lawn and clean the bathrooms and laundry if I ask. I just feel so overwhelmed. I just dont know how to get more organized. I thought it would get easier as DS got older but I feel like it is only getting harder b/c when he is awake I can't take my eye off of him for a second so I cant get anything done. And while he is sleeping I have to watch what I do b/c I dont want to wake him from his naps. And it doesnt help when my parents make comments like "I dont know what happened to you...you were never like this" "your house is a mess. Why can't you do this or why can't you do that"

Please tell me I am not the only mom going through this and that it gets easier. Anyone have any advice about how they keep it together b/c I am lost?!?

Message edited 5/31/2008 11:14:46 AM.

Re: I feel like I am losing it...(vent)

You are def not the only mom who is going through this

I know how you feel about the house being a mess and feeling like you never get anything done. One of my friends once told me when your dc starts to walk, the next 6 months are torture...they fall, want to get into all of the places that they couldn't before, etc.

Sometimes we have to let go a little bit...let the laundry sit for a few days more, order take out instead of cooking....

I know you are an amazing mom...just hang in there...you are not alone!

Re: I feel like I am losing it...(vent)

You are NOt the only mom going through it.

You are NOT alone and this is NORMAL.

Remember my post recently when you told me the same, or that your DC was like mine?

Its the biggest challange we will ever face.

And if People have more then 1 kid, that HAS TO MEAN it gets easier!

Re: I feel like I am losing it...(vent)

I feel bad for brushing so many things off but I do it anyway! The clothes will be there tomorrow---and the next day so whatever! I think every mother working or not feels this way!

Re: I feel like I am losing it...(vent)

You are NOT the only one who feels like this! You are doing a better job than you think, but you are stressed out and doing most of it on your own. You need a little break! Can someone take DS for a little while so you can have some "me" time? Do you think that would help you focus more?

Also, I don't know how you feel about this but it sounds like you have to slow down....take 15 minutes while he is napping and meditate. I had problems dealing with the stress of chronic back pain and stomach problems and when I started to sit quietly and meditate and listen to soft music, it REALLY helped. I was amazed.

Cut yourself some slack. You are a working Mom and doing alot by yourself.

I saw the pics of your livingroom and it was SPOTLESS! Give yourself a break.

Re: I feel like I am losing it...(vent)