I have always wonder why some people want to

know the sex of their baby. This should be on the TTC board or the Parenting board, but I'd like everyone's feedback.

I know for myself when I am pregnant I want it to be a surpise. I just think that is the whole part of having a baby, that is just my opinion and I respect everyone else's opinions.

So, do you want to know ahead of time or do you want to be surprised?

If you want to know ahead of time, why?

Message edited 9/3/2006 11:51:30 PM.

Re: I have always wonderwhy some people want to

I wanted to know ahead of time because i felt it would help me bond with the baby more.
For instance, I could start calling him by his name
I could start dreaming of what HE would look like
I could start his room which helped me picture our lives.
Its a very personal choice and one that I don't think is a way that could be right or wrong.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

with mine I wanted to be surprised.i needed that anticipation waiting for me during labor

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I would think people would want to know for practical reasons...buying clothes, furniture, picking names...

Part of me would want to know b/c of those reasons, but I think I would hold off for the surprise factor.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

i have never been the type of person that liked surprised

and i especially couldn't wait 9 mos to know the sex of my child..

I think it is actually very helpful to know

you can get ready, buy gender appropriate things..etc etc

but ultimately i just hate waiting and would want to know as soon as possible

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Message edited 9/3/2006 11:50:21 PM.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I hate surprises. I get too anxious. It isnt as if i am going to be upset either way and it wont change things. DH told me he wants to know as well. We may not tell anyone else but we arent there yet so we'll see.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Well, I am the total opposite. I felt like, if they could tell me, why WOULDN'T I want to know? I mean, I was able to refer to her by her name, not IT, I was able to buy her clothes, set up her room, etc. And not to mention, I don't care much for surprises. I'm a planner. And having been there and done that, I can tell you that it's every bit as special to have a baby that you already know the sex of. I was just as surprised when I found out the sex at 20 weeks as I would have been if I had found out at birth.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

OK- off on a tangent here.....When my sister got (unexpectedly) pregnant, we went for the ultrasound at 20 weeks, and it was unmistakeable- a boy.

I am SO happy we knew for sure. We called him by his name and truly bonded with him throughout the rest of her pregnancy. When he was born, it was almost like when you haven't seen someone you love in many years (you know- when what they look like is kind of fuzzy in your memory?) Our idea of what he looked liked was suddenly brought into focus.

We had seen his little face SO many times (in ultrasounds)- and seeing HIM for the first time just brought it all home for all of us (my family is SUPER-close, so we were there for her the entire pregnancy). It was a VERY powerful experience for me. "Meeting" him when he was in-utero, then actually meeting him, face to face.

It's obviously a personal experience, regardless of whether you choose to find out at 20 weeks or at birth. I had always said I'd wait til birth, but after my nephew's birth, I know I want to know while my baby is still in utero.....

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I had to know....

And truely dont feel it took away any surprise at all...

Either way- whether it be 20 weeks or 40 weeks... you are surprised.... DH and I made the day we found out really special.... we invited our moms, we all took guesses, spent the day together shopping for baby afterwards...


If my next child is a girl... and we go for a 3rd... I MAY not find out- for at that point... I will have things for both sexes, and wont really have any preparing to do for either gender...

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I think everyone has a different opinion on this, and all opinions should be respected. I am pregnant and definitely want to find out, and hopefully will in a month when I go for my Level II sonogram. It will still be a surprise to me, just that I will find out at 5 months instead of 9 months. I agree on the bonding part and it just being a very special moment in general (when we first find out the sex). Of course, I respect all people who do not want to find out as well. It's important to remember it's a personal decision.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I think its a fantastic way for the man in the relationship to feel attached to the baby. Men often feel very left out of pregnancy because its the woman who does all the work...so for me, it really helped my husband to bond with the baby, to be honest, it was quite essential for us to know because of that. Not to mention the shopping....

Also, let me tell you there is NO bigger surprise than labor, birth, and the weeks after you have your baby, believe you me. Oh, and meeting your baby. Its still a surprise!!! Did I mention the surpise of labor, birth and the weeks after having your baby?? Thats quite a shocker!!!

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

We are finiding out because:
It's twins.

1. This is it for us, no more pregnancies. It took a lot for us to even get pregnant, IVF so I want to decorate the room accordingly.

2. If I knew I was having a singleton and then another later, I'd go all gender neutral, now I have to know if they are or or I'll be registering for A LOT due to the extra expense of the IVF and twins.

3. If we didn't know we would need 4 girl names (first and middle) and 4 boy names (first and middle). We aren't going to discuss names until we find out the sexes. Being a high school teacher there are so many names (especially boy) that conjure up images of PITA passed students (I've been teaching for 13 years) and come from a huge family that has taken every name... it's really hard to find a name that doesn't remind me of an annoying kid or one my family already has.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I definitley want to be surprised. I am carrying this baby for 9 months. I have the opportunity to find out next Monday (9/11) at my Level 2 but, im simply going to ask the tech "not to show us that part"...
I love surprises. I love the anticipation. I cannot wait for the dr. or nurse to say 'Congrats..Its a ....."....
Ive gotten so many comments like "Oh that stinks, you want a "neutral shower"..Or "Oh, you'll be surprised, just earlier"...No..LOL..I waited 20 weeks and don't mind waiting another 20. Like I said, its the anticipation.
I respect everyones opinions.
This happens to be mine.
Dh wanted to find out, but he is being so understanding. I love him so much for that.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I definitely want to know ahead of time - all part of my control freak personality

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

funny - I never understood why anyone would want to wait to find out the sex.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

Posted by jes81276

I definitely want to know ahead of time - all part of my control freak personality

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I think the surprise is nice, but I cannot wait to for anything, nine months will be long enough. I also think it helps you bond with the baby. It is a personal choice.

Re: I have always wonder why some people want to

I'm not pregnant, but I'm very torn about this.

Part of me wants that anticipation and getting the big reward of "It's a ------" when the baby is born...

But the obsessive compulsive planner in me would want to know. I like the idea of calling the baby by his/her name... and really being able to personalize his/her room.

It's not something I should really need to worry about for a few years, but it has been on my mind as I see people going for their "big" sono, etc.