Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Leaving your child in the car is NOT a MISTAKE, it is NEGLIGENCE !!!!!!

This whole thing is disgusting.

There is no excuse.

I have read previous posts on this and the excuses people give, i.e you are too distracted, tired or "it is not your usual routine", you should hand our kids over to someone who can care for them!

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

While I could never imagine myself doing it I don't consider it negligence. I only consider it negligence in instances where I've heard the parent ran into the mall, or food shopping, or to get their nails done and didn't want to wake their child in order to run their errands. That is negligence. These parents will live with this guilt for the rest of their life and to me that is punishment enough.

I actually work with someone who almost did this. She does not normally take her child to daycare and on one day she had to. Well her DD fell asleep in the car and my coworker just went about her normal routine and drove straight to work. As she was pulling into the parking lot her daughter woke up and said "mommy, where are we?" Now who knows if she actually would have forgotten her daughter when she got out of the car but the fact is she did make her entire drive forgetting that her daughter was in the car. So yes, I can see how it could happen to anyone. And it's easy for us to say it's negligent when it doesn't happen to someone we know. But I guarantee you if it were someone you knew you wouldn't be calling them negligent.

I heard a tip years ago that I do now even though my kids are always with me. I put my pocketbook in the back seat by them. This way every time I get out of the car I have to look in my back seat.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

On Friday, on my way upstate, I actually witnessed this. A man (not the parent) had to break the front window and his wife had to climb in to get the infant out of the carseat in the backseat. It was horrible.

Not sure what happened as I left when I knew the baby was OK and in good hands (there were 15 adults trying to help and the police were called + I had a restless toddler)

It was definitely scary. I couldn't drive until I calmed down. Everyone involved was shaken by it.

Message edited 7/8/2010 10:42:58 PM.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Posted by jerseypanda

Posted by quasi3

Leaving your child in the car is NOT a MISTAKE, it is NEGLIGENCE !!!!!!

This whole thing is disgusting.

There is no excuse.

I have read previous posts on this and the excuses people give, i.e you are too distracted, tired or "it is not your usual routine", you should hand our kids over to someone who can care for them!

Just out of curiosity, what is your opinion on parents who let their babies roll of beds or changing tables? I know that the end result is normally not as devastating as when a child is left in a car, but IMO a child left in a car is not normally done on purpose, while turning our backs on a baby on a bed or changing table is something that a parent actually thinks about before they do it... and the assumption is that the child is going to be OK. But what if that child falls the wrong way and breaks a bone, or worse?

I just find it fascinating that when moms post threads titled "I'm the worst mother ever" and go on to say how their child fell off a changing table, EVERYONE responds with "accidents happen", "don't beat yourself up about it, your baby will be fine", "don't worry, we all do it". But when a parent makes a horrible, tragic mistake of thinking their child is honestly somewhere else and these stories come out, everyone talks about what horrible pieces of trash these parents are.

What if this happened to someone you know? What if this happened to your brother or sister or best friend? Would you still feel as strongly about thinking that they are not worthy of being called a parent? (and this isn't directed specifically at you, just using that word in general)

I just find that I try not judge because you NEVER know what can happen to you one day.

My heart goes out to all those parents who have to live with the worst mistake they could possibly make. And to the little angels in heaven.

Message edited 7/8/2010 10:33:50 PM.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Posted by pinkandblue

Posted by jerseypanda

Posted by quasi3

Leaving your child in the car is NOT a MISTAKE, it is NEGLIGENCE !!!!!!

This whole thing is disgusting.

There is no excuse.

I have read previous posts on this and the excuses people give, i.e you are too distracted, tired or "it is not your usual routine", you should hand our kids over to someone who can care for them!

Just out of curiosity, what is your opinion on parents who let their babies roll of beds or changing tables? I know that the end result is normally not as devastating as when a child is left in a car, but IMO a child left in a car is not normally done on purpose, while turning our backs on a baby on a bed or changing table is something that a parent actually thinks about before they do it... and the assumption is that the child is going to be OK. But what if that child falls the wrong way and breaks a bone, or worse?

I just find it fascinating that when moms post threads titled "I'm the worst mother ever" and go on to say how their child fell off a changing table, EVERYONE responds with "accidents happen", "don't beat yourself up about it, your baby will be fine", "don't worry, we all do it". But when a parent makes a horrible, tragic mistake of thinking their child is honestly somewhere else and these stories come out, everyone talks about what horrible pieces of trash these parents are.

What if this happened to someone you know? What if this happened to your brother or sister or best friend? Would you still feel as strongly about thinking that they are not worthy of being called a parent? (and this isn't directed specifically at you, just using that word in general)

I just find that I try not judge because you NEVER know what can happen to you one day.

My heart goes out to all those parents who have to live with the worst mistake they could possibly make. And to the little angels in heaven.

I think you post in the past (similar to this one) is partially what made me have a change of heart.

I agree completely.....

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Posted by jerseypanda

Posted by quasi3

Leaving your child in the car is NOT a MISTAKE, it is NEGLIGENCE !!!!!!

This whole thing is disgusting.

There is no excuse.

I have read previous posts on this and the excuses people give, i.e you are too distracted, tired or "it is not your usual routine", you should hand our kids over to someone who can care for them!

Just out of curiosity, what is your opinion on parents who let their babies roll of beds or changing tables? I know that the end result is normally not as devastating as when a child is left in a car, but IMO a child left in a car is not normally done on purpose, while turning our backs on a baby on a bed or changing table is something that a parent actually thinks about before they do it... and the assumption is that the child is going to be OK. But what if that child falls the wrong way and breaks a bone, or worse?

I just find it fascinating that when moms post threads titled "I'm the worst mother ever" and go on to say how their child fell off a changing table, EVERYONE responds with "accidents happen", "don't beat yourself up about it, your baby will be fine", "don't worry, we all do it". But when a parent makes a horrible, tragic mistake of thinking their child is honestly somewhere else and these stories come out, everyone talks about what horrible pieces of trash these parents are.

What if this happened to someone you know? What if this happened to your brother or sister or best friend? Would you still feel as strongly about thinking that they are not worthy of being called a parent? (and this isn't directed specifically at you, just using that word in general)

I just find that I try not judge because you NEVER know what can happen to you one day.

My heart goes out to all those parents who have to live with the worst mistake they could possibly make. And to the little angels in heaven.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Posted by jerseypanda



Hmmm... you're agreeing with me an aweful lot lately!

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Posted by jerseypanda

Posted by quasi3

Leaving your child in the car is NOT a MISTAKE, it is NEGLIGENCE !!!!!!

This whole thing is disgusting.

There is no excuse.

I have read previous posts on this and the excuses people give, i.e you are too distracted, tired or "it is not your usual routine", you should hand our kids over to someone who can care for them!

Just out of curiosity, what is your opinion on parents who let their babies roll of beds or changing tables? I know that the end result is normally not as devastating as when a child is left in a car, but IMO a child left in a car is not normally done on purpose, while turning our backs on a baby on a bed or changing table is something that a parent actually thinks about before they do it... and the assumption is that the child is going to be OK. But what if that child falls the wrong way and breaks a bone, or worse?

I just find it fascinating that when moms post threads titled "I'm the worst mother ever" and go on to say how their child fell off a changing table, EVERYONE responds with "accidents happen", "don't beat yourself up about it, your baby will be fine", "don't worry, we all do it". But when a parent makes a horrible, tragic mistake of thinking their child is honestly somewhere else and these stories come out, everyone talks about what horrible pieces of trash these parents are.

What if this happened to someone you know? What if this happened to your brother or sister or best friend? Would you still feel as strongly about thinking that they are not worthy of being called a parent? (and this isn't directed specifically at you, just using that word in general)

I just find that I try not judge because you NEVER know what can happen to you one day.

My heart goes out to all those parents who have to live with the worst mistake they could possibly make. And to the little angels in heaven.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

I would just like to say this, IF it was an accident, the guilt is unbearable. I know first hand. When DD#2 was 8 weeks old, I tripped over a fan while carrying her(the fan should NOT have been there) I fell and landed on my hands and knees, on the way down, she flew out of my arms and went head first into her solid wood bedroom door and then down to the floor. She fractured her skull from ear to ear and had 3 subdural hematomas(bleeds in the brain). It was the most horrible experience of my entire life. We spent the next few days in the PICU(pediatric intensive care unit) having catscans every 12-24 hours to track the bleeding in her brain. Waiting to find out if she would be okay, if they would need to put a shunt in her brain or any other brain surgery. All the while knowing that in some way, I did this too her. I did not protect her. Well, as the nuerosurgeon put it, I got my once in a lifetime miracle. She pulled through and is FINE. As for me, I will NEVER be the same, EVER! The Dr. said it best, SHE will never remember it and I will never forget it. I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from this. I spent the year that followed waking up with with night sweats, crying in my sleep, my DH finding me alseep on her floor and me having no memory of getting there. I can have a panic attack at the drop of a hat when I hear a loud bang. IT SUCKS! I would not wish the things I felt and the things that I continue to feel, on my worst enemy, and my outcome is a GOOD one.
If they left them in the car on purpose, Shame on them, they will be punished for the rest of their lives. If it was an accident, I totally feel for them(even though I can not see how, I try not to judge)

Message edited 7/9/2010 12:11:18 AM.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Posted by ChrisDee

I would just like to say this, IF it was an accident, the guilt is unbearable. I know first hand. When DD#2 was 8 weeks old, I tripped over a fan while carrying her(the fan should NOT have been there) I fell and landed on my hands and knees, on the way down, she flew out of my arms and went head first into her solid wood bedroom door and then down to the floor. She fractured her skull from ear to ear and had 3 subdural hematomas(bleeds in the brain). It was the most horrible experience of my entire life. We spent the next few days in the PICU(pediatric intensive care unit) having catscans every 12-24 hours to track the bleeding in her brain. Waiting to find out if she would be okay, if they would need to put a shunt in her brain or any other brain surgery. All the while knowing that in some way, I did this too her. I did not protect her. Well, as the nuerosurgeon put it, I got my once in a lifetime miracle. She pulled through and is FINE. As for me, I will NEVER be the same, EVER! The Dr. said it best, SHE will never remember it and I will never forget it. I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from this. I spent the year that followed waking up with with night sweats, crying in my sleep, my DH finding me alseep on her floor and me having no memory of getting there. I can have a panic attack at the drop of a hat when I hear a loud bang. IT SUCKS! I would not wish the things I felt and the things that I continue to feel, on my worst enemy, and my outcome is a GOOD one.
If they left them in the car on purpose, Shame on them, they will be punished for the rest of their lives. If it was an accident, I totally feel for them(even though I can not see how, I try not to judge)

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

I don't think anyone can FATHOM the GUILT that these parents feel. I'm sure we all remember the 25 page thread that ensued after someone posted the Parenting article.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Posted by ChrisDee

I would just like to say this, IF it was an accident, the guilt is unbearable. I know first hand. When DD#2 was 8 weeks old, I tripped over a fan while carrying her(the fan should NOT have been there) I fell and landed on my hands and knees, on the way down, she flew out of my arms and went head first into her solid wood bedroom door and then down to the floor. She fractured her skull from ear to ear and had 3 subdural hematomas(bleeds in the brain). It was the most horrible experience of my entire life. We spent the next few days in the PICU(pediatric intensive care unit) having catscans every 12-24 hours to track the bleeding in her brain. Waiting to find out if she would be okay, if they would need to put a shunt in her brain or any other brain surgery. All the while knowing that in some way, I did this too her. I did not protect her. Well, as the nuerosurgeon put it, I got my once in a lifetime miracle. She pulled through and is FINE. As for me, I will NEVER be the same, EVER! The Dr. said it best, SHE will never remember it and I will never forget it. I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from this. I spent the year that followed waking up with with night sweats, crying in my sleep, my DH finding me alseep on her floor and me having no memory of getting there. I can have a panic attack at the drop of a hat when I hear a loud bang. IT SUCKS! I would not wish the things I felt and the things that I continue to feel, on my worst enemy, and my outcome is a GOOD one.
If they left them in the car on purpose, Shame on them, they will be punished for the rest of their lives. If it was an accident, I totally feel for them(even though I can not see how, I try not to judge)

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Posted by cupcakekid

Posted by ChrisDee

I would just like to say this, IF it was an accident, the guilt is unbearable. I know first hand. When DD#2 was 8 weeks old, I tripped over a fan while carrying her(the fan should NOT have been there) I fell and landed on my hands and knees, on the way down, she flew out of my arms and went head first into her solid wood bedroom door and then down to the floor. She fractured her skull from ear to ear and had 3 subdural hematomas(bleeds in the brain). It was the most horrible experience of my entire life. We spent the next few days in the PICU(pediatric intensive care unit) having catscans every 12-24 hours to track the bleeding in her brain. Waiting to find out if she would be okay, if they would need to put a shunt in her brain or any other brain surgery. All the while knowing that in some way, I did this too her. I did not protect her. Well, as the nuerosurgeon put it, I got my once in a lifetime miracle. She pulled through and is FINE. As for me, I will NEVER be the same, EVER! The Dr. said it best, SHE will never remember it and I will never forget it. I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from this. I spent the year that followed waking up with with night sweats, crying in my sleep, my DH finding me alseep on her floor and me having no memory of getting there. I can have a panic attack at the drop of a hat when I hear a loud bang. IT SUCKS! I would not wish the things I felt and the things that I continue to feel, on my worst enemy, and my outcome is a GOOD one.
If they left them in the car on purpose, Shame on them, they will be punished for the rest of their lives. If it was an accident, I totally feel for them(even though I can not see how, I try not to judge)

I'm sorry that happened to you and am glad your child is okay but that is not even close to the same as FORGETTING your child in a hot car.

Most people don't forget they have a turkey in the hot oven, so why do they forget their children in a hot car? Rhetorical question obviously because I've seen the articles posted. I've read the changes in schedule excuses. I've read the "woe me" stories from the parents. I wish people weren't so self absorbed to allow something like this to happen. Harsh yes, but it's becoming an epidemic according to the government and needs to stop. I've had a change in my routine more than once and have never been that "out of tune" to forget my child in the car.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

It is AWFUL that 19 babies have passed. VERY sad. I am sure each baby was left or 'forgotten' for different reasons and each parent, or gaurdian is feeling plenty of guilt/shame.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

The people that can't see how this could ever happen are the people who are most susceptible.

If you can see how it could happen, you are on guard for it. You take extra steps to protect your kids against it. If you can't see how it could happen, you don't have that extra "sensor" going off in your head.

I read the article in Parenting magazine-where a mother who left her son in her car talked openly about. She used to be like those who say, "how could you let that happen" and "how could you forget your kid". Now, sadly, she knows.

I don't wish this on anyone and I for those poor poor children and their parents

But it goes to show you that you should never say never and we can never be vigilant enough.

Message edited 7/9/2010 9:51:48 AM.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

How sad

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

I think the lack of compassion is disgusting. I hope your sister, brother, aunt, cousin, best friend, should never find themselves in a position like that. I would hate for some of you to be the person I would normally turn to in a tragic situation like this. Its nice to know that youd turn your back on your loved ones. Its disgusting.

NO ONE MEANT TO KILL THEIR CHILD!

Message edited 7/9/2010 10:07:46 AM.

Re: I heard on the local news that 19 babies

Didn't we just rehash this? When we say it's an accident, that's not to downplay the severity of it in any way. It's horrible, tragic & personally I couldn't live with myself if I ever had those consequences. While I have not forgotten my child in a car, it doesn't make me a better mother than anyone else who did. It can happen to any of us. In the previous thread, a brilliant poster pointed out "haven't you ever arrived somewhere & not remember driving there? Because you're on automatic pilot...when a kid is sleeping in a car, not making a sound, yes, it happens.

To the OP: Regardless of the continued controversy surrounding the subject - Thank you for the reminder - it's one all parents cannot get enough.

Message edited 7/9/2010 10:27:33 AM.