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i know most of you have younger children...

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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY

Member since 2/07

17374 total posts

Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE

i know most of you have younger children...

... and i will be running this by my therapist before i do it...

but i'm really stressing having to tell my 13yo that i'm getting divorced.

has anyone done this before?
how did you do it?

this is the only aspect of my divorce that really breaks my heart Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 10:47 AM
 
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

17450 total posts

Name:

Re: i know most of you have younger children...

not saying this from a parents view bc like you said my dd is too small to think about how I would tell her.
From a social work standpoint I was wondering is there anyway that you and your dh could gtg and tell her so it is a comforting safe place for her and she will understand that you are a parental unit despite the fact that you will not be living together anymore. Maybe she will be comforted by knowing that you both dont hate one another but rather want to work together for the good of your dd.
Another plus is that it takes some of the stress of you having to tell her and puts some of it on your soon to be ex.

Posted 9/12/08 10:51 AM
 

pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe

Member since 9/05

32436 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: i know most of you have younger children...

well I will tell you that when my parents told me they were getting divorced, I was 13 and I remember it SO vividly

I was crushed, absolutely crushed but that is because I never remember seeing them fight and the news came as quite a shock to me

good luck, Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 11:03 AM
 

MarathonKnitter
HAPPY

Member since 2/07

17374 total posts

Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE

Re: i know most of you have younger children...

the issues are:

this is my child from my first marriage.
the soon-to-be ex, isn't his father, and hasn't been much of a parenting figure in my son's life.

we've been married less than two years.

Posted 9/12/08 11:27 AM
 

hbugal
Lesigh

Member since 2/07

15928 total posts

Name:

Re: i know most of you have younger children...

Posted by libby2595

the issues are:

this is my child from my first marriage.
the soon-to-be ex, isn't his father, and hasn't been much of a parenting figure in my son's life.

we've been married less than two years.




Based on the fact that he hasnt been much of a parenting figure to your son I want to say that it's going to be more of a relief than anything to your DS.

Is the fact that you are having issues going to be a surprise to your DS or is aware of the tension? Perhaps sitting down and telling him that things arent going so well and just see how the conversation goes....

Does you getting a divorce mean a huge change in his life? Like being uprooted from his home? Change of schools? How is your relationship with his father? Is it something that his Dad will support you with?

A lot of what you tell him should be based on the answers to the above questions...He'll want reassurance that things are going to be OK. If his relationship with X isnt a great one his main concerns are going to be for his own well being and yours....

FM me and we'll chat. That way I wont have to go into my Danielle Steel life story on the boards...Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 12:01 PM
 

july0105
My three little miracles

Member since 4/06

2628 total posts

Name:
Alison

Re: i know most of you have younger children...

no advice, but sending you Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 9/12/08 1:36 PM
 
 

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