I know this is stupid...MIL issue...UPDATE WITH WEIRDNESS

My MIL just emailed me to ask for a picture of me and Logan from our Disney trip to use on her Christmas Card this year.

I went to Disney with MY family, not them.

I know it's stupid and petty and in the grand scheme it doesn't matter, but I really don't want a picture of me or of Logan on her cards.

Those are for my cards.

So, what would you do?


UPDATE:

I decided to go ahead and send her one. I asked if she wanted horizontal or vertical.

Her response:

"Up and down please. I'm going to have you photoshop yourselves into a picture of the rest of us since you aren't going with US to Disney."

Ummm...does that change your response?

Message edited 11/2/2010 2:26:02 PM.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I can't imagine having to maintain a relationship w/ the ILs if DH wasn't here, but I think it was kind of her to ask for a picture of you with Logan. She could have just asked for one of Logan, which to me would be more hurtful. I don't know the background, but I think that it's nice that she's including YOU as part of her family on her card.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I get what your saying, and I understand where your coming from 100%. My initial reaction would be identical.

But she's only doing it out of love, she's not thinking about anything else but how much she loves your DS and your family so much, and she just wants to show you off.

IMO, let her, it will pay back 10 fold in other ways.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Very odd that she wants you on her x-mas card. I would probably ask why she wants you on her x-mas card, nicely, of course.

But since Disney was with your family, I would tell her that you don't have any sufficient ones from Disney to give her. If she insists on the pic, I would take one just you two to give her.

Message edited 11/2/2010 11:04:08 AM.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Tell here there aren't any pictures from Disney that are Christmas-card worthy. Even if it's a little white lie, that trip was with your family, so I don't think she should have the privilege of sending out one of those pictures.

If she still persists, send her a picture of Logan that you like enough for her to send out, but no where near as cute as the picture you will be sending out.

Message edited 11/5/2010 1:00:47 PM.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I would send her the picture, BUT I WOULD MAKE IT VERY CLEAR that it's for herself, not for the card. Tell her that you plan on using the disney pics for your own card.

I think I would vomit if my MIL ever did that to me. It's not even like you went to disney with her family - that's so weird to me!!

eta: I just realized I sound a bit bitter. Chalk it up to my past experiences of just trying to be nice to ILs and having it thrown in my face. I suggest you disregard my reply.

Message edited 11/2/2010 11:16:21 AM.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

while its def. strange, its also very thoughtful.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

My 1st thought was h e l l s no!

But then I read this:

Posted by nov04libride

I can't imagine having to maintain a relationship w/ the ILs if DH wasn't here, but I think it was kind of her to ask for a picture of you with Logan. She could have just asked for one of Logan, which to me would be more hurtful. I don't know the background, but I think that it's nice that she's including YOU as part of her family on her card.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I am sure more has gone on this year then I know of, so without knowing anything but a grandmother wanting to showoff her grandson and his mother, i would send pic.

but this is coming from someone who doesn't even send her mil a christmas card, so whatever we all have our own special relationships.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I voted egg her house

In all seriousness, since it was MIL asking (and not FIL ), I say send it to her. Just make sure it is in a collage of some sort, and not just a "Merry Christmas from Lauren and Logan" kind of thing!

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

my feeling is, she is trying to cling on i dont know what kind of relationship you have so i dont want this to offend you.

if i were in your position, i could see my MIL doing this too. i think it would bother me but for her sake, id send it.

is she using that as the only picture on the card? or will this be one of many pictures?

she is probably very proud of you and your DS and wants to continue to share you both with her friends/family etc

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I would probably just send a picture of DS for her to send out. I see no problem with her asking.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

What if you offer to take a picture of HER (and FIL?) w/ your son so she can send her cards that way?

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Logan is a connection to her deceased son, I'd send the picture and be happy they are making an effort to be part of your lives.

if not a Disney pic than how about another pic of the two of you?

Message edited 11/2/2010 12:00:23 PM.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I voted before realizing your circumstances. I would thank her for wanted to include you and your son on her christmas card. That it is very touching...blah blah blah....but that you were going to be using the picture on yours and could she perhaps send her a different one or take one with her in it?

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Sounds like she's doing a photo card and not simply including a print in her card. If you have a photo that is distinctly different from the one you were planning on using, I'd say go ahead and send to her. If there was only one shot that you have which you were going to use, I'd send her a different one and let her know that the one good shot that isn't a "blooper" is the one you are already using and suggest the other one.

It is very nice that she wants to use you both on her card and keep *both* of you in their lives, but I completely understand the initial reaction of "no way".

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Is it the fact that she wants a "Disney" pic, or that she just wants a pic of the two of you?

Maybe she just asked for a Disney pic because she thinks it would be nice and recent? I would try offering another pic of the two of you and see what she says, if that doesn't bother you as much.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I think thats weird & I would be annoyed....as far as telling you how to handle it....I think I would offer to take a picture of her and your DC. I just cant believe you would be on HER x-mas card.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Posted by Frankiesmom

I think thats weird & I would be annoyed....as far as telling you how to handle it....I think I would offer to take a picture of her and your DC. I just cant believe you would be on HER x-mas card.

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

I agree that Logan is their grandchild and a connection to their deceased son. Although it may not be the norm to send a photocard with your grandchild, I don't know that I would be offended or upset. I "think" that I might feel flattered or touched or happy (not sure what the right word is) that she also wanted to include me in the picture. From the outside, that seems nice. However, I do know that things my in-laws do or say or feel annoy me and make me mad even if they might not always be wrong...

Re: I know this is stupid...MIL issue

it would probably initially annoy me, then i'd be flattered. i think that esp. when it comes to inlaws you need to choose your battles. i'd send her the pic.