I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding UPDATE

I feel like almost every single time I read about someone ffing it's qualified by a statement about how hard they tried to bf and how they r so heart broken it didn't work out. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the people that happened to but that's not really what happened with me and sometimes I feel like I'm so "ashamed" about my ff decision that I almost tell the story a different way than it actually happened.

While I was pregnant I thought I wanted to bf. I bought all the supplies- the fancy pump, the pads, the lanisol, etc. I tried to bf in the hospital for one day and I just quit. Maybe you could say it wasn't for me or maybe you could say I quit too early to make that determination. I hated the way it felt and I hated thinking the baby was hungry. I hated my big floppy boobs being exposed and all the nurses grabbing onto them. I hated the thought of that continuing for months on end.

On day two I was so nervous to switch. I gave birth at north shore manhasset and they are VERY pro bfing (not saying that's wrong- but it made me apprehensive about asking for formula). My wonderful pediatrician came in for a visit and I told him the deal. He marched over to the nurses station and got me some similac citing that he had no fear because he did not have boobs for them to start squeezing

So, that's it. I didn't like it and I quit. I didn't have this war with breast feeding that included 20 bouts of mastitis, cracked nipples, low flow or no milk, a newborn with 8 teeth. None of that. I didn't like it and I quit. Now my kid drink's from the boob of Abbot Laboratories and so far so good.

UPDATE

I just wanna say I didn't post this to hate on bfers/ create DRAMA. I think it's effed up that another thread had to be created called, "Onto the other side".

Come on!! Some people (including me) got teary eyed during this thread.

Some people are so friggin ARRGGHH

Message edited 10/15/2010 3:46:18 PM.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

I am ashamed of nothing - I had nothing to prove to anyone. And I don't ever feel the need to explain myself or my decisions -

I didn't want to BF - I had no interest.
I pumped for 3 weeks every 2 hours and got one 5 oz bottle a day - I was miserable every time I hooked myself up to that pump - I stopped after 3 weeks.

I also gave birth at NS Mahnassett and they are VERY pushy - I just told them to please leave me alone and if I chagned my mind I'd ask them for help.

Message edited 10/15/2010 1:06:46 PM.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

You should not feel ashamed at all. I knew while I was PG that I was not going to BF and I never even tried once to BF. I always knew that it was the best decision for me and my family and I have never even once felt guilty.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

haha i love it!


I never WANTED to breastfeed.

I gave it a go and got 11days in before I was forced to stop.

I look back now and I really don't care. Sure it was cute and all that but not earthshattering.

I dislike the idea that people should be FORCED to breastfeed against their wills as if its their DUTY their OBLIGATION that you must try and try HARD before going to Formula.

20yrs ago it was opposite. *shrug*

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

All 3 of my babies were FF babies. All 3 are healthy, happy, and well-adjusted. I never tried BFing either. Just not something I ever even considered to be honest with you.

No reason to justify your decision to anyone IMO.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Thank you for posting.
I really have been so upset with the boards today and your post made me feel better. I don't like feeling like my choice not to breastfeed was a bad decision. I am happy and my DD is happy and healthy and thats all i care about! Thank you!

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Sounds just like me. It wasn't for me. DS is 16 months and perfectly healthy and happy.

BTW... neither I nor DH was BF and we are fine

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

I'm right there with you!!! I wanted to BF in the hospital, but after the first nurse telling me not to smother DS with my boob, I told her to bring me formula. She tried to backtrack and suggest the breast, but once I've decided something, it is hard to change my mind. I gave up the first time I tried. I never regretted it for one moment and my kids are fine.

When I see ads saying 'breastfeeding is best' I think, yep, for some people and their kids. Not all.

I never tell my story any different bc I am not ashamed of not breastfeeding. I give those mothers that do BF a lot of credit because I do not have the patience to deal with clogged ducts, mastitis, babies eating every hour for an hour, cracked and bleeding nipples. I would have loved that 'bonding' but I bonded with my kids just fine feeding them a bottle and looking into their eyes. Plus, I had DH that could get up to feed when I was too tired or cranky.

When I had DD, when the babies were in the nursery all lined up and all the other mothers and families were looking at their babies...I made the comment out loud, "Look at that, I'm the ONLY formula feeding mommy. I'm either the bad mommy or the really smart one." My mom and a couple other grandmothers exclaimed "The smart one!!" with a chuckle. They all know how hard it is to BF, and didn't criticize me for my choice.

And if I ever had anyone criticize me for my choice, I'd tell them to mind their own business. With a smile of course.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

thank you for posting this.. i was really upset with the boards today and didnt even want to post..

i had no desire to BF.. so i am not ashamed at all.. i just hate being judged.. i am just sick of it.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

I completely agree-- there should be no shame in choosing to FF.

Like you, when I share that I chose to FF my 2nd child, I feel like people are waiting for the "explanation". The meds I must be on. The latching/milk supply/whatever problem. Well, there is no real explanation. I hated BFing my first, and that's about it.

The other taboo I noticed seems to surround any comment that dares to state "breast is best". It's like you can't state this fact without somehow hurting the feelings of everyone who didn't/couldn't breastfeed. Why does it get people so riled up? Stating that breastmilk is indeed best doesn't imply that formula is "bad" in any way.... it's like giving breastmilk an A+ while formula just gets an A. Both will do the trick and keep your baby healthy.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

I'm happy a FFing mama took it upon herself to write that!

My sister went through the same thing, and I would NEVER think any less of her. BF is not for everyone. It's a very sensitive issue that should NEVER be pushed or forced upon anyone.

I have a beautiful, strong, smart nephew who never got BM and is no worse for it


(and this comes from a Mama who fought tooth and nail to BF her DD)

We all need to stick to worrying about doing what's best for us, and for our situation and stop worrying about others

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Posted by MetsGirl07

thank you for posting this.. i was really upset with the boards today and didnt even want to post..

i had no desire to BF.. so i am not ashamed at all.. i just hate being judged.. i am just sick of it.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

I totally agree with everyones post!! Thank you ladies for showing the other side to this!

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

I BF'd Abby for 2.5 months and they were 2.5 MISERABLE months. It took a lot for me to do it in the first place and it took every ounce of strength I had not to quit sooner. I did not/am not nursing Jeremy and I do not feel guilty at all.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Tried it. Hated every bloody minute of it. Stopped it just under 2 months.
Never looked back. It's a non-issue for us but I tell everyone that if I had a 2nd DC I wouldn't even ATTEMPT it, straight to formula we would go.

I got nothing but 100% support for the switch to formula. Even from my BF Loving sister who BFd 3 babies for 14 months each, while working full time and commuting 4 HOURS PER DAY.

I could just BOW DOWN to the BFing mamas, it was by far the hardest "baby thing" I ever attempted. And if someone looks down on me for my choice???? Well I have to remember that what other people think of me is, frankly, none of my business

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Thank you for writing this! I am one who also gives "excuses" when people ask if I BF. I don't know why I do it- I guess nowadays it is the "thing" to do.

My Mom said it was the opposite in the 1970's- people gave her weird looks because she was nursing...

From now on- I will say that my baby is bottle-fed....and loved very much

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

I am ashamed of nothing.
I never once in my entire adult life had a desire to breastfeed.
I wasn't going to "try" it.
I wasn't going to "see how it went"
I wasn't going to "think about it"

NEVER EVER was it even a thought.

NEVER EVER did I feel guilty for that either.
Maybe there is something majorly wrong with me.
Maybe I shouldn't have reproduced
Maybe I don't have the mom gene.

However, I see my DD thriving, healthy and meeting developmental milestones EARLY every single day.
All this on formula.
And that is enough for me.

And if anyone DARES question me they will get ripped a new arse and get to hear my views on the subject-which aren't popular but I dont' give a shyt.
So far nobody has questioned me! Maybe they can sense it!

ETA- the hospital never questioned me once on the matter. When I delivered they asked- are you breastfeeding? I said no. They marked the chart and that was the last I heard of the word breastfeeding for the rest of my stay.

Message edited 10/15/2010 1:38:19 PM.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Its nice to know i am not the only one. I tired it, gave it 3 days and knew from day 1 it wasnt for me.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

dont ever feel ashamed of you choice, i formula feed and never once even contemplated breast feeding, maybe cause i was having twins nobody really questioned me but even if i had one i still wouldn't have, its not for me, i know this
so whether you tried bf or not it doesnt matter you are doing the very best for your child and you should never feel ashamed or anything

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

Thank you!!

I just read the other post and was enraged at how people think FF vs BF is anyone's business but their own!

I don;t need anyone telling me how to use my breasts! i am tired of hearing the benefits, great, but let me do what I want.

For DD I didn't even try and was 100% happier.

I also have 2 beautiful, healthy, flourishing children who were FF,

Worry about your breasts and no one else's!!!

Thank you to OP

ETA I think my kids and I bonded just fine w/o it

Message edited 10/15/2010 2:05:00 PM.

Re: I want to get something off my chest about formula feeding

I tried, DS was tongue tied, but I really didnt try THAT hard. Yes, I sorta BFd for 3 months. He was always given formula too though bc I just didnt like it either. I felt like a cow and was miserable, aside from the fact that we had latching issues. I couldve called a LC, I couldve tried a nipple shield, but I didnt.

I didnt like it so I quit. If we ever have another, Im not even going to attempt it.