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TooMuchDrama
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 188 total posts
Name:
B
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If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
Do you still offer to chip in for the expenses?
My friend is having her bachelorette in Vegas, and only 2 girls are attending. I just got an e-mail from the MOH saying, "Other than that, bring some cash as we're going to have a Vegas money pot that she can use to gamble or dinner. It's a nice way for people who can't go to Vegas to contribute."
I have never heard of bridesmaids "contributing" to a bachelorette party that they cannot attend. And this "contribution" is on top of already purchasing a shower gift.
What do you all think?
*Update* I should have mentioned that before this e-mail was sent to me, I had plans to attend a more local bachelorette party with some of the brides friends and other bridesmaids at a casino in Connecticut, where I will be chipping in for dinner, drinks, and most likely a hotel room for the night. Many of you had suggested I send a bottle of Champagne to the Vegas hotel room or offer to buy a round of drinks for them, but since I am attending the casino party, is that still something you would all do??
Message edited 6/14/2011 2:37:08 PM.
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Posted 6/13/11 2:49 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
No
ETA: sorry ive never heard of this before... i think its strange that they are telling you to do it... if it was approached in a way that said we were thinking of doing a collection from those of us that cant go... i think i would have a different opinion...
Message edited 6/13/2011 3:01:40 PM.
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| Posted 6/13/11 2:50 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I don't think it's required at all but I would probably give someone some money to buy a round on me.
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| Posted 6/13/11 2:55 PM |
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Posted by Christine
I don't think it's required at all but I would probably give someone some money to buy a round on me.
agreed
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| Posted 6/13/11 2:55 PM |
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MrsS6510
2 girls?!?!?
Member since 9/10 3318 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Posted by LadyBugN2Buggies
Posted by Christine
I don't think it's required at all but I would probably give someone some money to buy a round on me.
agreed
Same here - or at least chip in for the bride.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:00 PM |
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liadorbs
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 1221 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Weird and ballsy.
I have offered to contribute to 2 bachelorette parties I couldn't attend when I was a bridesmaid. Neither took me up on it.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:15 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Posted by AngnShaun
No
ETA: sorry ive never heard of this before... i think its strange that they are telling you to do it... if it was approached in a way that said we were thinking of doing a collection from those of us that cant go... i think i would have a different opinion...
ITA w/ this
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:15 PM |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Nope.
ETA: We went to Vegas for my bach. party and one BM couldn't go. I paid for my flight/hotel but my BMs paid for a limo to pick us up from the airport and then flowers/champagne delviered to the room. The BM who didn't go didn't contribute and she wasn't asked to.
Message edited 6/13/2011 3:17:34 PM.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:16 PM |
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springchick
make a wish
Member since 5/08 3566 total posts
Name:
justask
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
This is my biggest pet peeves when people tell you how to contribute/ pay for something you are not required. If I was in your situation and I was not ask to contribute I probably send bottle of champagne or something like that to the room for when the bride arrived but after telling me what to do, no thanks.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:22 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Posted by AngnShaun
No
ETA: sorry ive never heard of this before... i think its strange that they are telling you to do it... if it was approached in a way that said we were thinking of doing a collection from those of us that cant go... i think i would have a different opinion...
Same here. If if were asked instead of told, I wouldn't have a problem with it.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:25 PM |
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VanderZwang
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/11 740 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I fone of the reasons You coulnt go was money, then tell them your not going because you cant afford it, but you WOULD give them $30 for a round of drinks on you.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:27 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Wow.. I've never heard of that, but I think it would be nice of you to contribute to a round of drinks or to the "pot" since you're not spending the money on the flight/hotel and it would be really nice of you to contribute to the bride's good time.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:35 PM |
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MrsFrizzle
<3
Member since 9/09 4628 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I didnt go to SIL's bacherlorette party, it never occurred to me to even give money, no one asked for anything either.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:35 PM |
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kelkel09
Love my twins!!!
Member since 6/10 5183 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
no...i can see chipping in for the shower even if u can't go, but the bachelorette party I don't think you would need to
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:50 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
If it was a reasonable amount for the pot for the bride-to-be to use, and is only for the bride, I don't see anything wrong with contributing.
It's not like you are paying for the other girls to have fun.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:55 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Nope.
Going to Vegas for a bachelorette party is NOT a necessity and if they want to do it, great- but don't come looking at me to help finance anything.
Message edited 6/13/2011 3:56:55 PM.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:56 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
ive never heard of this. i wouldnt've appreciated the way they "asked" for the money. I personally would've set something up like champagne in the hotel, especially after that "demand", i probably wouldnt give cash.
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| Posted 6/13/11 3:59 PM |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I have never heard of contributing to a BP if you are unable to attend.
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| Posted 6/13/11 4:03 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Posted by Christine
I don't think it's required at all but I would probably give someone some money to buy a round on me.
This sounds like a nice idea. If I couldnt go though (and was not preggo like I currently am) I would probably take the bride out for drinks in NY to celebrate . If I could not take her out though the above sounds like a nice idea.
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| Posted 6/13/11 4:19 PM |
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Deeluvsvinny
DONE
Member since 10/08 4952 total posts
Name:
Whatever
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Posted by NervousNell
Nope.
Going to Vegas for a bachelorette party is NOT a necessity and if they want to do it, great- but don't come looking at me to help finance anything.
Exactly how I feel.
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| Posted 6/13/11 4:58 PM |
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missfabulous
#mommyneedswine
Member since 6/09 10031 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
No way. I don't think a monetary contribution is necessary at all.
If you feel like you want to contribute something, maybe a cute set of shot glasses for the bride to be and a small bottle of liquor? A gift would be nice in the place of attending the bach party (not necessary of course but a nice, personal touch).
Honestly, if I were a bride to be, I'd feel a little uncomfortable if girls not going to the bach. party just gave me money (especially with all the money they are already spending to be in the bridal party).
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| Posted 6/13/11 5:25 PM |
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aim
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 1321 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
One word comes to mind.... tacky.
Offering to contribute is your call, being told to contribute is just tacky.
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| Posted 6/13/11 5:38 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
If only two bridesmaids can go I think it's pretty bad they are calling this her Bachelorette party 
They should do something you all can do together.
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| Posted 6/13/11 6:20 PM |
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rsquared
Sweet P is here!
Member since 4/11 2026 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I am totally not for the ridiculously expensive bachelorette party idea. I think it is really selfish because it makes those who cannot afford it feel bad. I hear about more and more bachelorette parties that are far away and require a lot of money and just shake my head. If I had enough money for a vacation, what makes you think I want to spend it for a celebration for someone else!
I don't see why you should have to contribute to the party if you are not going.
JMO.
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| Posted 6/13/11 8:36 PM |
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dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
wow. I think that is so rude the way that was said to you. I personally, would not.
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| Posted 6/13/11 9:17 PM |
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