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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I think it sounds more like a nice way for the 2 who are going to collect some cash to defray their costs for the weekend.
I would offer a round of drinks and that's about it.
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Posted 6/13/11 9:34 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
never heard of that.
sounds to me like the 2 going are upset they are paying and those who aren't going aren't paying anything and just want you to contribute to make it easier on them.
If anything throw in a 20 or a 30 in a card stating that it's for a drink on you.
It's a nice gesture to do.... if you did it on your own... or were asked to and you agreed... not so much to be told to do it. IDK if the bride even knows about this though... she might not.
At least they aren't asking you to split the cost of the plane ticket or hotel accommodation. I'd probably just throw the 20 or 30 in to be nice and give something... and to keep the peace. But that's all I'd do and if the MOH has something to say about it... then too bad. You do what you can and that's it.
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| Posted 6/13/11 9:35 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I do think it's pretty balsy but, I would probably contribute anyway.
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| Posted 6/14/11 7:59 AM |
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PaddysGirl
Little princess is here!
Member since 4/07 5923 total posts
Name:
Crystal
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Posted by LadyBugN2Buggies
Posted by Christine
I don't think it's required at all but I would probably give someone some money to buy a round on me.
agreed
Same here. I would want to do something for the bride.
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| Posted 6/14/11 9:04 AM |
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CarlieJLD7
I love my daughter!
Member since 7/07 3061 total posts
Name:
Carlie
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I have... but it was my SIL and I just gave birth to my Daughter, they were going to do a poll dancing class and bar hopping in the city... Literally a week after my c-section and I was BF on demand... There was no way I could go.
I felt really bad, I did give the MOH $300 or $400, but again, it was my SIL, and I know a LOT of people who went didn't contribute and I felt REALLY bad for the MOH who laid out all the money.
IDK what I would do in your situation... Honestly I feel like if you give the girl $20 or $30 in the grand scheme of things, then don't give anything at all... that won't even buy a round of drinks in vegas...
I guess it would depend on how close I was with the person... IDK...
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| Posted 6/14/11 9:36 AM |
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Yes, I would.
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| Posted 6/14/11 10:09 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Posted by NervousNell
Nope.
Going to Vegas for a bachelorette party is NOT a necessity and if they want to do it, great- but don't come looking at me to help finance anything.
Exactly! THANK YOU!
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| Posted 6/14/11 10:12 AM |
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CroatianBride
Our Angel Ivanka Rose <3
Member since 7/07 2031 total posts
Name:
Tat
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
I don't think this should be required. I decided to go to Cancun and told everyone that I understand if they can't make it, and to those who are going that they're already paying enough & I am paying for my own flight/hotel.
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| Posted 6/14/11 10:48 AM |
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TooMuchDrama
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 188 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Thank you everyone for your responses!! I'm happy to see I'm not the only one who considers this rude and tacky!
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| Posted 6/14/11 12:10 PM |
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AScottWolf
I <3 our squish!
Member since 11/10 2237 total posts
Name:
Adriana
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
No. The only way I can still see contributing to a bach party that you're not going to is if you were originally going, the finances were agreed upon and divided evenly, but at the last minute you didn't go.
Other then that no. No reason to contribute to something you're not going to.
Not that i'm against it but when did going away for a Bach party become the norm? And then people get upset when others can't go. 
Message edited 6/14/2011 12:21:59 PM.
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| Posted 6/14/11 12:20 PM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....
Yes, I would send money for a round of drinks, etc.
In my experience, most if not all of the bridesmaids attend the bach party and we usually chip in for drinks, dinner, etc. for the bride. That being said, if you have one in Vegas, it is going to be very pricey and you can't expect everyone to come.
So, my question would be is it the bride who wanted it in Vegas or the other bridesmaids? If it is the bride and only 2 are going with her, I do feel kind of bad for the 2 because I'm guessing that they are going to wind up footing the whole dinner/drink bill. Now, of course I know that they could have said "no" to going, and honestly, I don't think I would have sent that email, but I would send $$.
If it wasn't in Vegas and I was going, I would be chipping in for dinner and drinks so this wouldn't really be different for me. I look at it more as drinks for the bride.
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| Posted 6/14/11 1:59 PM |
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missfabulous
#mommyneedswine
Member since 6/09 10031 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
Posted by TooMuchDrama
*Update* I should have mentioned that before this e-mail was sent to me, I had plans to attend a more local bachelorette party with some of the brides friends and other bridesmaids at a casino in Connecticut, where I will be chipping in for dinner, drinks, and most likely a hotel room for the night. Many of you had suggested I send a bottle of Champagne to the Vegas hotel room or offer to buy a round of drinks for them, but since I am attending the casino party, is that still something you would all do??
If your financial situation allows for it and you really want to- its a nice thing to do. Should you feel compelled to send something? Not at all. I personally wouldn't send anything.
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| Posted 6/14/11 2:47 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
2bd Q would be a no...
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| Posted 6/14/11 2:49 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
Posted by TooMuchDrama
Do you still offer to chip in for the expenses?
My friend is having her bachelorette in Vegas, and only 2 girls are attending. I just got an e-mail from the MOH saying, "Other than that, bring some cash as we're going to have a Vegas money pot that she can use to gamble or dinner. It's a nice way for people who can't go to Vegas to contribute."
I have never heard of bridesmaids "contributing" to a bachelorette party that they cannot attend. And this "contribution" is on top of already purchasing a shower gift.
What do you all think?
*Update* I should have mentioned that before this e-mail was sent to me, I had plans to attend a more local bachelorette party with some of the brides friends and other bridesmaids at a casino in Connecticut, where I will be chipping in for dinner, drinks, and most likely a hotel room for the night. Many of you had suggested I send a bottle of Champagne to the Vegas hotel room or offer to buy a round of drinks for them, but since I am attending the casino party, is that still something you would all do??
WAIT! so she's have 2 bach parties??? and they want you to contribute something to the party you aren't attending even though you are attending the 2nd one and paying for all that stuff??
if I have this right... then NO I wouldn't send anything... it's already covered by you for the 2nd bach party.
WHY are there 2? I feel like those 3 who want to go to vegas should foot their own bills and not ask for a handout from those not going when there's another bach party you ARE attending and will be contributing to.
How much money in total are you really expected to spend on one person??? it just seems nuts to me!
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| Posted 6/14/11 2:58 PM |
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TooMuchDrama
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 188 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
Posted by MrsKS
Posted by TooMuchDrama
Do you still offer to chip in for the expenses?
My friend is having her bachelorette in Vegas, and only 2 girls are attending. I just got an e-mail from the MOH saying, "Other than that, bring some cash as we're going to have a Vegas money pot that she can use to gamble or dinner. It's a nice way for people who can't go to Vegas to contribute."
I have never heard of bridesmaids "contributing" to a bachelorette party that they cannot attend. And this "contribution" is on top of already purchasing a shower gift.
What do you all think?
*Update* I should have mentioned that before this e-mail was sent to me, I had plans to attend a more local bachelorette party with some of the brides friends and other bridesmaids at a casino in Connecticut, where I will be chipping in for dinner, drinks, and most likely a hotel room for the night. Many of you had suggested I send a bottle of Champagne to the Vegas hotel room or offer to buy a round of drinks for them, but since I am attending the casino party, is that still something you would all do??
WAIT! so she's have 2 bach parties??? and they want you to contribute something to the party you aren't attending even though you are attending the 2nd one and paying for all that stuff??
if I have this right... then NO I wouldn't send anything... it's already covered by you for the 2nd bach party.
WHY are there 2? I feel like those 3 who want to go to vegas should foot their own bills and not ask for a handout from those not going when there's another bach party you ARE attending and will be contributing to.
How much money in total are you really expected to spend on one person??? it just seems nuts to me!
You have it 100% right!
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| Posted 6/14/11 3:07 PM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
Posted by TooMuchDrama
Posted by MrsKS
Posted by TooMuchDrama
Do you still offer to chip in for the expenses?
My friend is having her bachelorette in Vegas, and only 2 girls are attending. I just got an e-mail from the MOH saying, "Other than that, bring some cash as we're going to have a Vegas money pot that she can use to gamble or dinner. It's a nice way for people who can't go to Vegas to contribute."
I have never heard of bridesmaids "contributing" to a bachelorette party that they cannot attend. And this "contribution" is on top of already purchasing a shower gift.
What do you all think?
*Update* I should have mentioned that before this e-mail was sent to me, I had plans to attend a more local bachelorette party with some of the brides friends and other bridesmaids at a casino in Connecticut, where I will be chipping in for dinner, drinks, and most likely a hotel room for the night. Many of you had suggested I send a bottle of Champagne to the Vegas hotel room or offer to buy a round of drinks for them, but since I am attending the casino party, is that still something you would all do??
WAIT! so she's have 2 bach parties??? and they want you to contribute something to the party you aren't attending even though you are attending the 2nd one and paying for all that stuff??
if I have this right... then NO I wouldn't send anything... it's already covered by you for the 2nd bach party.
WHY are there 2? I feel like those 3 who want to go to vegas should foot their own bills and not ask for a handout from those not going when there's another bach party you ARE attending and will be contributing to.
How much money in total are you really expected to spend on one person??? it just seems nuts to me!
You have it 100% right!
 
I sincerely hope your response to that email is something along the lines of:
"My contribution to her bachlorette party is in the form of my attending the Connecticut party. Since I will be funding my attendance as well as paying for parts of her meals and drinks, I am already contributing to her bachlorette party. I'm sorry but I can only pay so much."
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| Posted 6/14/11 3:16 PM |
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PaddysGirl
Little princess is here!
Member since 4/07 5923 total posts
Name:
Crystal
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
With the update I do not think that you need to chip in. However, maybe you could make her a bachelorette basket to bring with her. Tylenol, water, mini liquor bottles, some snacks.
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| Posted 6/14/11 4:27 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
Posted by TooMuchDrama
Do you still offer to chip in for the expenses?
My friend is having her bachelorette in Vegas, and only 2 girls are attending. I just got an e-mail from the MOH saying, "Other than that, bring some cash as we're going to have a Vegas money pot that she can use to gamble or dinner. It's a nice way for people who can't go to Vegas to contribute."
I have never heard of bridesmaids "contributing" to a bachelorette party that they cannot attend. And this "contribution" is on top of already purchasing a shower gift.
What do you all think?
*Update* I should have mentioned that before this e-mail was sent to me, I had plans to attend a more local bachelorette party with some of the brides friends and other bridesmaids at a casino in Connecticut, where I will be chipping in for dinner, drinks, and most likely a hotel room for the night. Many of you had suggested I send a bottle of Champagne to the Vegas hotel room or offer to buy a round of drinks for them, but since I am attending the casino party, is that still something you would all do??
Now I change my response. 100% no way.
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| Posted 6/14/11 4:39 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
I am so glad that my friends and I got married years ago when Bacheloretty Parties consisted of going to NYC and getting drunk. Seriously, 2 parties and you are expected to contribute to both, in addition to the dress, shower gifts and wedding gift itself? Seriously, I personally think brides nowadays who expect all of this have a lot of nerve. Do they think the phrase "Bridezilla" is a compliment? I would never even dream of doing that to my closest friends and family.
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| Posted 6/14/11 4:43 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
With your new update, then no, you should not chip in another dime?
umm, why are there 2 bachelorette parties? 
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| Posted 6/14/11 4:45 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
Posted by jambalady
With your new update, then no, you should not chip in another dime?
umm, why are there 2 bachelorette parties?
My friend had 2... because the majority of her BP couldnt go to New Orleans... so we planned one for NYC so the rest of us could party with her!
ETA: it wasnt her idea, it was our idea!
Message edited 6/14/2011 4:47:40 PM.
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| Posted 6/14/11 4:47 PM |
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aim
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 1321 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
Nope, since you are doing the local bridal party I definitely do not see any reason for you to send something to the vegas party. A girl can only afford so much!
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| Posted 6/14/11 5:13 PM |
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blue11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1706 total posts
Name:
kat
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
since you are going to smaller party, i wouldn't chip in for vegas.
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| Posted 6/14/11 5:46 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
I was going to say give the bride something special for the trip.
Once I found out you are already going to another bach party for her I do not think that is necessary and it makes them asking for something very very nervy.
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| Posted 6/14/11 7:49 PM |
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sunnygirl
loving life
Member since 1/07 5413 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: If you're a bridesmaid and can't attend the bachelorette party....*With new question at bottom*
i would not contribute money and i think these overnight plane taking bachelorette parties are just out of control, whatever happened to just going to the city for drinks and dancing or a male revue,
maybe ac but vegas, miami etc, its out of control
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| Posted 6/14/11 8:37 PM |
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