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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
Posted by dm24angel
100%. I can no longer watch a baby story b/c I sob watching v births. It was what I always wanted and I feel a piece of me was taken and I had no say in it.
I am trying to deal with it.
That pretty much sums up how I feel. My c-section was so unnecessary & my doctor pushed me into it without really caring at all what I had to say (and believe me, I fought hard). It really bothered me for a long time that the experience that I wanted was taken away from me for no good reason, even after I made my wishes VERY clear. If the section was necessary, then by all means grab that knife, but my doctor just didn't want to wait around any more.
It's been almost 2.5 years, and I feel better now. I still get very angry when I think back on how I was treated. We're going to start TTC #2 next month, and I'm 100% going for a VBAC. I'm going to be doing a lot of things different this time around, but I'm still terrified I'll end up with another section.
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Posted 12/6/07 7:26 PM  |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
Posted by dm24angel
Can I say something here.
I started a thread liek this after I had Noah as well...
And the point of my post and that I got from Diana's was she feels SAD, she feel she lost something.
I didnt hear her asking for opinions on which method was easier or best etc.
On my thread and now on this one...I actually feel WORSE by all the "are you crazy" comments, and "it wasnt a piece of cake to deliver Vaginally" etc.
No one said it WAS....
But why cant we express how we feel?
No two people are the same...I wish we could get more hugs instead of being called crazy over our feelings.
 I absolutely hate when people tell me that I shouldn't feel sad that I had the c-section because "A vaginal birth isn't easy either!" Thank you. I didn't expect it to be! OR "At least you had a healthy baby & that's the important part." Well, yes, of course it is. I never sad that I'd risk my baby's health to have a v-birth. My daughter was not in distress. I was in labor 21 hours (& willing to go many more. Honestly, I was doing just fine) and my doctor didn't feel like waiting.
I feel like people are trying to invalidate my feelings.
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:39 PM |
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
I had a natural birth and got to experience everything....plug coming out, watering breaking, my own contractions, pushing DD's out. IT IS all that it's cracked up to be IMO! However, SO FREAKING what if I had to deliver C/S! I mean that! As much as I am grateful that my body really does well with pg and delivery, I would be just as content if it didn't. It is what it is and no one can do anything about it.
Everyone knows that a healthy baby is ALL that we hope, pray and dream for! We all end up with the same result....a baby to love for the rest of our lives.
It's only normal to want what you didn't have. But as fast as you got sad thinking about it, you were over it!
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:40 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
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| Posted 12/6/07 7:54 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
I had a vbirth, but I literally slept through most of my labor due to a demoral cocktail they gave me (I would pay BIG money to have another one of those puppies NOW ) and they woke me up to push. I felt NADA.
My mom had my sister and I naturally (granted, Caroline was born in 45 minutes and in the bag of waters ) and sometimes I feel like I should have been able to go naturally too...but I was induced, its a different ball game.
My BFF last week went through 37 hours of natural labor, dialated to 9.5 cm and then had to be rushed in for an emergency section because Mason's heart rate kept dropping....but at the beginning of her labor she called me to ask me what it felt like and I honestly could not tell her! And I had a vbirth!!!
I think there is guilt either way, and the fact that so many avenues are available to make labor "easier" when women had babies with nothing for hundreds of years makes us ALL feel guilty.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:08 PM |
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
Posted by Diana1215
I was just stating that I thought vaginal births seemed easier - now I know that's not necessarily true. I also still am kind of sad that I'll never feel what it's like to be in labor - but I'll get over that I'm sure.
These days it seems like those classic crazy stories about going into labor and forgetting the suitcase, DH being pulled over for running a red light, etc. don't happen as much, at least among my friends who've had babies. Two of them were induced (as was I) and my only other friend with kids had very anitclimactic experiences. I think it gets so built up, through movies and tv and family lore, that we have all these expectations and dreams, and it's hard when it doesn't happen that way.
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:15 PM |
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KimH226
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/05 498 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
Posted by dm24angel
100%. I can no longer watch a baby story b/c I sob watching v births. It was what I always wanted and I feel a piece of me was taken and I had no say in it.
I am trying to deal with it.
I feel the same way. I was so disappointed. 
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| Posted 12/6/07 8:50 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
My entire life I was horrified by VB. I could never watch it on TV or documentary (the "graphic" part!!). It just freaks me out.
I had a horrible recovery after the c-section. 7 hours in recovery. Unable to take Percocet due to side effects. BF while being in such pain for 1.5 weeks. So it was REALLY rough on me. Yet, I still cannot think giving birth any other way. I still cross my legs at the though of a vaginal birth.
Yes, I did not have the "regular" birth but I don't feel cheated of the birth. I had no pain and honestly loved it that I could enjoy that moment. I bonded with DS right away. I BFed right away.
I will have another c-section if we can have a #2. I am dreading the recovery but that's what I am willing to put up with.
You might have to find another OB. Dr. H told me she would only do a c-section if I had a c-section for #1.
Message edited 12/6/2007 9:04:09 PM.
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:03 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
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Diana
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
Posted by smdl
My entire life I was horrified by VB. I could never watch it on TV or documentary (the "graphic" part!!). It just freaks me out.
I had a horrible recovery after the c-section. 7 hours in recovery. Unable to take Percocet due to side effects. BF while being in such pain for 1.5 weeks. So it was REALLY rough on me. Yet, I still cannot think giving birth any other way. I still cross my legs at the though of a vaginal birth.
Yes, I did not have the "regular" birth but I don't feel cheated of the birth. I had no pain and honestly loved it that I could enjoy that moment. I bonded with DS right away. I BFed right away.
I will have another c-section if we can have a #2. I am dreading the recovery but that's what I am willing to put up with.
You might have to find another OB. Dr. H told me she would only do a c-section if I had a c-section for #1.
But, I did have a c-section with Jack. I don't want a VBAC next time around!
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:04 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by smdl
My entire life I was horrified by VB. I could never watch it on TV or documentary (the "graphic" part!!). It just freaks me out.
I had a horrible recovery after the c-section. 7 hours in recovery. Unable to take Percocet due to side effects. BF while being in such pain for 1.5 weeks. So it was REALLY rough on me. Yet, I still cannot think giving birth any other way. I still cross my legs at the though of a vaginal birth.
Yes, I did not have the "regular" birth but I don't feel cheated of the birth. I had no pain and honestly loved it that I could enjoy that moment. I bonded with DS right away. I BFed right away.
I will have another c-section if we can have a #2. I am dreading the recovery but that's what I am willing to put up with.
You might have to find another OB. Dr. H told me she would only do a c-section if I had a c-section for #1.
But, I did have a c-section with Jack. I don't want a VBAC next time around!
My fault. I thought you were "entertaining" the thought of it.
I know what you mean by "missing" on the whole experience. I personally don't feel that way at all.
I hated being PG. It was the meaning to an end. I only missed not feeling DS moving inside me after giving birth. I never felt the "magical" moment of the vaginal birth. BUT when I saw DS while being stitched up.... I was on cloud 9. I did not care how he came out. I was just in love with him and nothing else mattered. Even in the recovery, it just so surreal. I always felt I had experienced the birth of my son and he was now with me.... Make sense?????
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:09 PM |
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lulugrrl
My 3 Blessings
Member since 3/06 6551 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
I am not sad I had a c section. I am jealous that I was not awake when my son was born(general anesthesia), I was sad not to have my husband there in the room when my son was born. I am sad my son was not born alive, I am sad I culd nto hold my son for a week. I was robbed of ALL of that, those moments you dream about..... and yes I am a bit jealous of those that got to experience those special times...BUT to have this beautiful baby home now really makes all of that pale. I really do not remember much of the c section pain, I guess because I was so focused on my son.
I would def. have a c section again, I just hope I can be more of a part of the birth, and have those special moments of excitement when the baby is born, to see that face, and have that connection.
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| Posted 12/6/07 9:52 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
Posted by lulugrrl
I am not sad I had a c section. I am jealous that I was not awake when my son was born(general anesthesia), I was sad not to have my husband there in the room when my son was born. I am sad my son was not born alive, I am sad I culd nto hold my son for a week. I was robbed of ALL of that, those moments you dream about..... and yes I am a bit jealous of those that got to experience those special times...BUT to have this beautiful baby home now really makes all of that pale. I really do not remember much of the c section pain, I guess because I was so focused on my son.
I would def. have a c section again, I just hope I can be more of a part of the birth, and have those special moments of excitement when the baby is born, to see that face, and have that connection.
for the most part I relate- I was under general and didn't get to hear DD's first cries- and I wasn't able to hold her or see her until 24 hours after b/c she was in the NICU. I think I as most emotional about not hearing my DD's first cries... but she's healthy and beautiful and there is no use dwelling on the painful moments.
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| Posted 12/6/07 10:10 PM |
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CheeChee
HI THERE!!!!
Member since 5/05 3416 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
I had a V birth, whole experience sucked due to my Ahole OB. Recovery was quick, not bad at all. And I must say my Vagina doesnt look any different, its quite pretty thank you very much...  Sex is fine too....
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| Posted 12/6/07 10:47 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
i havent read all the replies but i just have to say after having a vaginal birth, i give YOU so much credit after having major surgery while awake. they told me i might need a csection bc i wasnt dilating and i was TERRIFIED of THAT. IMO, much scarier than a vaginal, where i didnt feel a thing due to the epidural. you should be proud
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| Posted 12/6/07 11:18 PM |
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groovypeg
:)
Member since 5/05 2423 total posts
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
i knew since 30 weeks that i was probably having a c section due to low fluid, diabetes and hannah was breech. and when my water broke at 35 weeks i had contractions that were so bad that they did a c section right away. i am fine with it, and i think i would actually prefer the c section again, g-d willing, if we have #2. like racheee, i am more upset that i was unable to breastfeed and i still think about it to this day.
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| Posted 12/7/07 8:15 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: I'm jealous of moms who had a vaginal birth
Posted by CheeChee
And I must say my Vagina doesnt look any different, its quite pretty thank you very much... Sex is fine too....
That's good to know!!!
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| Posted 12/7/07 9:19 AM |
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