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gdubs
This baby is awesome!
Member since 11/10 2467 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
What is the point of even writing something like that???
I get missing having some "you time" and there have even been posts on here about that before but there are ways to still have that and have children. It doesn't have to be all one or the other like she makes it seem.
And for someone who didn't want children she sure seems impressed with her own parenting skills.
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Posted 4/11/13 9:42 PM  |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
I almost don't believe this.
She's basically saying that she doesn't like her children. Not love,,she doesn't even like them. I can't imagine that feeling. I tell my girls 100 times a day that I love them. They are a part of my life. I live and breathe for them, and you cannot turn that off.
She's just an odd duck.
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| Posted 4/11/13 9:47 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
I think that when she had children it was a different time. It wasn't THAT long ago but I don't think that the world was the same place that it is today. Even go to the childless board on here - people are ruthless to people that don't want to have children. She didn't want to have them, was honest about it but felt she owed it to husband. Do you think that if you backed some of our childless friends into a corner and forced them to have a child that they would become a different person? I don't. I think a lot of them would secretly feel the way she did. I admire the fact that she took complete responsibility for her children in spite of her short comings as a parent.
Yes, she is brutally honest. However I suspect her children are already well aware of her true feelings. I am sure this article is not news to them.
I do feel sorry for her that she never experienced the joys of being a parent, but I don't think it was her "fault." I just think it, unfortunately, is the way she was wired.
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| Posted 4/11/13 10:02 PM |
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meloyellow
LIF Adult
Member since 3/13 1843 total posts
Name:
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Re: Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
Posted by lululu
I think that when she had children it was a different time. It wasn't THAT long ago but I don't think that the world was the same place that it is today. Even go to the childless board on here - people are ruthless to people that don't want to have children. She didn't want to have them, was honest about it but felt she owed it to husband. Do you think that if you backed some of our childless friends into a corner and forced them to have a child that they would become a different person? I don't. I think a lot of them would secretly feel the way she did. I admire the fact that she took complete responsibility for her children in spite of her short comings as a parent.
Yes, she is brutally honest. However I suspect her children are already well aware of her true feelings. I am sure this article is not news to them.
I do feel sorry for her that she never experienced the joys of being a parent, but I don't think it was her "fault." I just think it, unfortunately, is the way she was wired.
but, she wasn't backed into a corner. She married a man that she knew wanted 4 kids when she wanted none. That's a huge "conflict of interest". That should have been addressed before marriage and since there is no grey are when it comes to either having children or not (unless maybe you choose to foster) that should be a deal breaker.
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| Posted 4/11/13 10:13 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
Not every woman dreams of having children and thats ok. Why judge someone for being different? For feeling different? She had them for her husband not a reason to but it was her reason. I dont agree with her feelings cause i dont understand them but i wouldnt silence her either.
Im sorry but with all due respect i think its quite ignorant to tell someone to keep their feelings silenced because you dont agree with them. Shes not forcing her opinion on you. Shes not telling you to feel that way. And your not her children so dont assume to know their feelings.
I know this is a controversal subject but its so sad in this day and age people are still saying dont talk about your feelings cause i cant understand. Its not normal. Smh...
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| Posted 4/11/13 10:14 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
Posted by meloyellow
Posted by lululu
I think that when she had children it was a different time. It wasn't THAT long ago but I don't think that the world was the same place that it is today. Even go to the childless board on here - people are ruthless to people that don't want to have children. She didn't want to have them, was honest about it but felt she owed it to husband. Do you think that if you backed some of our childless friends into a corner and forced them to have a child that they would become a different person? I don't. I think a lot of them would secretly feel the way she did. I admire the fact that she took complete responsibility for her children in spite of her short comings as a parent.
Yes, she is brutally honest. However I suspect her children are already well aware of her true feelings. I am sure this article is not news to them.
I do feel sorry for her that she never experienced the joys of being a parent, but I don't think it was her "fault." I just think it, unfortunately, is the way she was wired.
but, she wasn't backed into a corner. She married a man that she knew wanted 4 kids when she wanted none. That's a huge "conflict of interest". That should have been addressed before marriage and since there is no grey are when it comes to either having children or not (unless maybe you choose to foster) that should be a deal breaker.
I think today it can be a deal breaker but I think that even just 30 years ago, women did not feel that they had as much of a choice. The fact that she was honest about not even wanting children was probably somewhat radical 30 years ago. Actually telling her husband that she refused to have them was probably unthinkable. At that time I think that more people were willing to marry someone with different views and then "give in" to their spouses wants.
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| Posted 4/11/13 10:27 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
Posted by BlessedMomma
Not every woman dreams of having children and thats ok. Why judge someone for being different? For feeling different? She had them for her husband not a reason to but it was her reason. I dont agree with her feelings cause i dont understand them but i wouldnt silence her either.
Im sorry but with all due respect i think its quite ignorant to tell someone to keep their feelings silenced because you dont agree with them. Shes not forcing her opinion on you. Shes not telling you to feel that way. And your not her children so dont assume to know their feelings.
I know this is a controversal subject but its so sad in this day and age people are still saying dont talk about your feelings cause i cant understand. Its not normal. Smh...
I agree. I admire her honesty. I think too many people gloss over the difficulties of being a parent and the sacrifices that you must make. She is showing what can happen when you don't want children and you have them for the "wrong" reasons. A lot of people will try to convince women that don't want children that once they have them they will love them so much that they won't ever understand why they wanted to remain child free. that's not always the case!
I always wanted a large family and three kids in I still want more. However, it took me having kids to completely understand why some people don't want kids. I thought it would be all rainbows and unicorns, when in reality it's HARD WORK!!! I find it rewarding but I wanted it with all my heart. I can't imagine how I would feel if I didn't want it to begin with. I am sure I would feel resentment. No, I probably wouldn't leave my kid behind at the store or not care if he was on death's door in the NICU but she sounds like a very self centered but very self aware woman. At least she still dedicated her life to her children and did the very best that she could for them. That's much more than I can say for a lot of parents.
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| Posted 4/11/13 10:34 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
I had to stop reading after this lovely part:
"I cannot understand mothers who insist they want children - especially those who undergo years of fertility treatment - then race back to work at the earliest opportunity after giving birth, leaving the vital job of caring for them to strangers."
(I conceived my DD through IVF after years of trying, and had to go back to work when she was 11 weeks old.)
I feel terrible for her children. There is nothing wrong with not wanting children, and she is allowed to have her feelings about motherhood, of course, but how can you put that out there for everyone, including your grown children, to see?
Message edited 4/11/2013 10:39:54 PM.
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| Posted 4/11/13 10:39 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
Name:
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Re: Interesting (and controversial) article... worth the read....
She sounds like she has more issues than just wanting a child-free life. Depression, anxiety, something seems "off."
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| Posted 4/12/13 5:08 PM |
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