Irrational thoughts?

Today I found myself looking at Abby and seeing how happy and social she is. I wondered how she will fare socially as she gets older. I wonder and worry if she will make friends. I wonder if she will be popular or an outcast. I've actually wondered if she will be the goth kid or a skater. I wonder if she will be a bully or on the receiving end of threatening kids' behavior like I was. I wonder, if she will be a leader or a follower.

I am aware that much of who she will be is a function of my parenting, but am I the only one out there who thinks about these things? Or is it the PG brain working over time

(Seriously, the idea of my pretty pink princess wearing combat boots and thick black liquid eyeliner listening to Morissey scares the crap out of me. )

Re: Irrational thoughts?

I think about it all the time. I also wonder if they will be treated differently since they are twins. Will they make friends with other people? I also think how I never want their feelings to be hurt or their hearts to be broken

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I know how it feels NOT to fit in. I dont think she needs to be homecoming queen either, but the idea of someone being cruel to her because she might be different is so much more painful as a parent than when it was actually happening to me.

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My husband and I discuss this all the time, I hope she is right in the middle, not popular they are the ones partying every weekend, not picked on.
I worry about her self esteem and that is probably most important to me, to make sure she is confident and has good self esteem. I hope that she will be a leader like her Mommy!

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I also think about them when they go to college and I want to vomit! They are defientely not allowed to go on Spring break EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Well, I have a 9 year old DD and the 1st time she was REALLY bullied was in kindergarten. It was terrible. It was so bad that the teacher called me and SHE(the teacher) was crying. I cried for weeks(literally) about this. It brings something out in you that you never knew existed. I honestly felt like I could hurt a kid for the 1st time in my life. I wanted to knock the $hit out of this little boy and his parents. They were called into a meeting about what he was doing to my little girl. We NEVER got an apology from the kid or the parents. When I see them up at school, i could spit on them
The kicker is, my DD has a stong, outgoing personality. She is the kid that you never thought would be messed with. She is now in 3rd grade and I can tell you, that experience, has changed her. Not for the better. I will never forget that littlw ba$tard til the day I die!

OK, I am done now Sorry!

Re: Irrational thoughts?

Posted by ChrisDee

Well, I have a 9 year old DD and the 1st time she was REALLY bullied was in kindergarten. It was terrible. It was so bad that the teacher called me and SHE(the teacher) was crying. I cried for weeks(literally) about this. It brings something out in you that you never knew existed. I honestly felt like I could hurt a kid for the 1st time in my life. I wanted to knock the $hit out of this little boy and his parents. They were called into a meeting about what he was doing to my little girl. We NEVER got an apology from the kid or the parents. When I see them up at school, i could spit on them
The kicker is, my DD has a stong, outgoing personality. She is the kid that you never thought would be messed with. She is now in 3rd grade and I can tell you, that experience, has changed her. Not for the better. I will never forget that littlw ba$tard til the day I die!

OK, I am done now Sorry!

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Sadly, some parents don't give a crap if their kid is a bully or not. Intolerance breeds intolerance.

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I think about it all the time. I want them to stay little forever!

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Posted by beautyq115

Posted by ChrisDee

Well, I have a 9 year old DD and the 1st time she was REALLY bullied was in kindergarten. It was terrible. It was so bad that the teacher called me and SHE(the teacher) was crying. I cried for weeks(literally) about this. It brings something out in you that you never knew existed. I honestly felt like I could hurt a kid for the 1st time in my life. I wanted to knock the $hit out of this little boy and his parents. They were called into a meeting about what he was doing to my little girl. We NEVER got an apology from the kid or the parents. When I see them up at school, i could spit on them
The kicker is, my DD has a stong, outgoing personality. She is the kid that you never thought would be messed with. She is now in 3rd grade and I can tell you, that experience, has changed her. Not for the better. I will never forget that littlw ba$tard til the day I die!

OK, I am done now Sorry!

this is a fear of mine! God help the kid(s) and their parents that bully my kids!!!

Message edited 4/5/2010 11:41:38 PM.

Re: Irrational thoughts?

I worry about this with DS all the time, especially now since he is in school and I see how impressionable other kids can be...The amount of bad habits that have rubbed off on him are really sad...When I had him home with me, we were in our own little world that I had control over..Now that he is in school , even at 4, I see already what society does

I am just hoping he treats people the way he wants to be treated...For whatever reason I don't see him as the "bullied" type, but neither was his momma

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not youre not the only one, at all! I think about it all the time.....not so much his "style" but whether he will be social and have friends or if he will be bullied, which is my worst fear!

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I think about this as well and DD is only 5.5 months. Especially with all these horrific stories you hear on the news. But as another poster said, God help the kid who messes with my daughter !

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What's weird is that I was thinking about this before I even had her. I grew up as the fat kid. I was taunted as long as I could remember. I cried a lot, but also walked away too. DH and I are big people (despite my weight loss surgery, the GENES are still there) and our families ain't tiny either. We used to talk about our eating habits and what we will have to do when she starts eating table food in order to spare her from what I went through.

We made a promise to her and each other to make sure she was an active child. So far, she's been enrolled in a gym glass once a week since last June. We will encourage her to choose a physical activity once she is old enough. DH wants soccer. I want ice hockey.

The fact that I have a child who is petite and who has ALWAYS been in the 10th percentile of weight (with the exception of a short time in the 5th when she had been sick) blows me away. Anything can change, but with her eating habits the way they are now, I hope she can escape the fate and taunting that I had.

(As a funny aside, my 20th HS reunion was 2 years ago. I had been preparing for it since the summer before. I was totally pumped to go back at my physical best. I was thin, toned and looked the best I ever did in my life. I was still a newlywed and life was good. I was ready to walk my shallow a$$ into the reunion and prayed mouths would drop when everyone read my name tag. But alas, I was 8 months pregnant and that plan was out the window. I never went. DAMMIT FOILED AGAIN!)

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Re: Irrational thoughts?

I have a very sweet and gentle little boy and I worry that it might affect him if he isn't all rough and tumble.

Admittedly, he's only 2, but I want him to fit in. At the same time I LOVE that he is the way that he is.

I look at both my & and want them to love school, have friends that aren't bad influences.

I remember watching DS heartbeat at a sono and praying that he would never have it broken.

I want him to always be my sweet little pre schooler

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Now I am thinking that maybe I should enroll the petite goth princess in Karate to continue her self confidence. Between Karate and ice hockey, she will be sure to kick some azz. Now I need to get Doc Martens in a toddler size 4.

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I worry too, all the time about it.

Re: Irrational thoughts?

Posted by ChrisDee

Posted by beautyq115

Posted by ChrisDee

Well, I have a 9 year old DD and the 1st time she was REALLY bullied was in kindergarten. It was terrible. It was so bad that the teacher called me and SHE(the teacher) was crying. I cried for weeks(literally) about this. It brings something out in you that you never knew existed. I honestly felt like I could hurt a kid for the 1st time in my life. I wanted to knock the $hit out of this little boy and his parents. They were called into a meeting about what he was doing to my little girl. We NEVER got an apology from the kid or the parents. When I see them up at school, i could spit on them
The kicker is, my DD has a stong, outgoing personality. She is the kid that you never thought would be messed with. She is now in 3rd grade and I can tell you, that experience, has changed her. Not for the better. I will never forget that littlw ba$tard til the day I die!

OK, I am done now Sorry!

this is a fear of mine! God help the kid(s) and their parents that bully my kids!!!

A few months after this all went down, Jordan and I and this boy and his dad were all at a mutual friends B-Day party. I watched this little fuc try to trip my DD while the dad watched. He did nothing, so I did. I had had enough and went and yelled at the boy. I said, listen, you little bully! You don't like Jordan but she does not like you even more! So pretend she does not exist and keep your hands and feet to yourself and do not ever speak her name again or there will be a BIG problem The Dad heard the whole thing and said and did........ you guessed it, Nothing!

ETA: Jordan and I did a high five when I was done(right in front of him)

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I think about this ALOT!!!

I was never the "popular" kid in school. I had some friends, not alot, but we were the kids that everyone would pick on or make fun of. Because of that, as I got older and into Jr. High and High School, I started to hang out with the "burnouts" and got into lots of trouble. LOTS!! I'm afraid, she will be alot like I was as a teenager. And quite honestly that thought TERRIFIES me.

My DH also wasn't the popular kid. He was very socially awkward and was picked on reletnlessy in grade school. High School was much better for him since he went to Styvusant so, pretty much everyone there was as "nerdy" as he was.

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I worry about this all the time. As a high school teacher I see how cruel kids can be. It breaks my heart to think DD could be subject to such cruelty.

Message edited 4/6/2010 1:25:54 PM.

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Re: Irrational thoughts?

Posted by beautyq115

Posted by Goldi0218

I know how it feels NOT to fit in. I dont think she needs to be homecoming queen either, but the idea of someone being cruel to her because she might be different is so much more painful as a parent than when it was actually happening to me.

Definetely Makes me want to homeschool them. Maybe we could have our own school our kids will be nice to each other