| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 |
Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Posted by DRMom
Posted by Goldi0218
Now I am thinking that maybe I should enroll the petite goth princess in Karate to continue her self confidence. Between Karate and ice hockey, she will be sure to kick some azz. Now I need to get Doc Martens in a toddler size 4.
My brother has been in Tae Kwon Do since he was, say 4 or so. He is now 14 and my Dad said NO ONE messes with him. He is a nice kid, but he also has a reputation for being "tough" so I think you may have something there.
As far as my kids-my DH is really into team sports so our kids will probably doing some peewee sports around 4. Hopefully that and good parenting can instill a sense of self worth so that they can handle themselves in situations
Im just laughing visualizing Abby doing this pose in combat boots:
|
Posted 4/6/10 9:56 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Do you need a Xanax right now? Oh shoot you're preggo...I'll take one for you, bc you are giving me anxiety thinking about all of this crapp!!!!
|
| Posted 4/6/10 9:59 AM |
| |
|
LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Posted by Goldi0218
I know how it feels NOT to fit in. I dont think she needs to be homecoming queen either, but the idea of someone being cruel to her because she might be different is so much more painful as a parent than when it was actually happening to me.
I know all too well what you mean
Andrew was being picked on by an older kid at preschool because he sucked his thumb and it broke my heart!! I wanted to go up and beat the girl up I cried for him. He still talks about it and it happened last yr. The teacher even said something to him about him sucking his thumb.
This always leads me down the path of when he gets older and what if kids pick on him My actions now and going forward are all based on this and him not being an outcast even though I know I cannot control everything.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 10:16 AM |
| |
|
pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Posted by ChrisDee
Well, I have a 9 year old DD and the 1st time she was REALLY bullied was in kindergarten. It was terrible. It was so bad that the teacher called me and SHE(the teacher) was crying. I cried for weeks(literally) about this. It brings something out in you that you never knew existed. I honestly felt like I could hurt a kid for the 1st time in my life. I wanted to knock the $hit out of this little boy and his parents. They were called into a meeting about what he was doing to my little girl. We NEVER got an apology from the kid or the parents. When I see them up at school, i could spit on them
The kicker is, my DD has a stong, outgoing personality. She is the kid that you never thought would be messed with. She is now in 3rd grade and I can tell you, that experience, has changed her. Not for the better. I will never forget that littlw ba$tard til the day I die!
OK, I am done now Sorry!
ugh, poor kid. I always say that if someone bullies my kid, I will want to kick their azz
|
| Posted 4/6/10 10:17 AM |
| |
|
maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
no you are not alone! 80% of the time my DS is charming, sweet, loud, and somewhat agressive. 20% of the time I'm shocked at how quiet he is, and passive he CAN be. I don't want him to be too passive, it bugs me !
|
| Posted 4/6/10 10:32 AM |
| |
|
DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
I don't find these thoughts irrational at all. I have them daily. Everytime DD doesn't look at someone and smile and said person says "oh, she's shy" I cringe. I don't want her to be shy like her mommy, so I respond, "no, she's just cautious" in the hopes that the label doesn't stick or come true.
I remember when she would cry if a certain little boy took a toy away from her - now 50% of the time she will snatch it back instead of crying, and I worry about that behavior just as much as the crying.
All we can do is our best and pray that it will be good enough to raise caring individuals.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 10:33 AM |
| |
|
eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
I have ALWAYS thought about this - way before I had DD as well!!
I was always different, the outcast, picked on - whatever. Junior highschool was brutal!! I was too skinny, I was a nerd... and then in highschool I did a complete 180 and was a total delinquent.
I definitely don't want that to happen to DD. Sometimes I think because she is a little on the aggressive side it won't, but on the other hand, she's only 2 and she can change.
This weekend we celebrated Easter with two little girls (sisters) who really were not nice to her at times and it was so hard to watch. I can't even imagine when I'm dealing with kids whose parents don't care about bullying. 
|
| Posted 4/6/10 10:37 AM |
| |
|
FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
I can only think that the only parents who DON'T think about this stuff is the parents of those bully kids (who were probably bullies themselves). It is truly heartbreaking to even think about the possibilities of this happening to our children. DS1 is a sweet, quiet boy who wouldn't hurt a fly (OK, his little brother is apparently OK though  ). It kills me to think that someone, someday would take advantage of that. DS2, on the other hand, is a tough kid! Thankfully, DH and I are caring enough to recognize this and hopefully prevent anything that could possibly be.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 10:41 AM |
| |
|
hannahsmom
Yummy yummy cookie...
Member since 10/08 2005 total posts
Name:
Laura
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
We've been worrying about DD lately with this. She just turned 8, and let me tell you, 2nd grade girls are CRUEL!! She is worried about everything... her hair, her nails, her TEETH!! It makes me so upset, and I have tried to have so many conversations to her about how everyone is different and beautiful, and she basically takes it all in, and then will come home in tears the next day... 
|
| Posted 4/6/10 10:49 AM |
| |
|
JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Between 6th and 8th grade I was picked on beyond belief. I think it definitely changed me as a person. I was dorky, nerdy looking, etc. When I hit 10th grade I finally grew into my looks and body and used it to my advantage- a little too much. I partied alot and barely graduated high school.
I am terrified that my daughter will be verbally tortured the way I was. It's so alarming to me how cruel people can be, and it seems to get worse as time goes on. I will do everything in my power to prevent it for her, and make sure that she knows how detrimental bullying can be for someone.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 10:51 AM |
| |
|
antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
this is my biggest fear- i was bullied as a child and made fun of and it changed my life for the worst. my first son is very sensitive and kind, his cousins already pick on him for that and I want to kill them and they are family. I dont know how im going to hold back. I also cant imagine him growing up and becoming more and more independent- make my wanna cry My second son already seems very outgoing- much different than my first. i dont think Im going to have an issue with him.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 11:50 AM |
| |
|
Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Irrational? No. Normal? Yes. I think about these things with regards to both of my boys; especially with Benjamin. Ben is small for his age and always has been. I worry that he'll be picked on because he's little. He can be on the shy side sometimes so I worry about him making friends, etc. I think it's totally normal.
ETA: DH's parents enrolled him in karate when he was in elementary school because he was getting picked on or being smaller than the other kids. It did wonders for his confidence and taught him to handle the bullying in a way other than kicking the crap out of the other kids.
Message edited 4/6/2010 11:56:50 AM.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 11:51 AM |
| |
|
Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
I think about the stuff you mentioned ALL THE TIME!!!
I was laughing when you mentioned goth/skater. I have thought of that too!
|
| Posted 4/6/10 12:14 PM |
| |
|
Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Posted by ChrisDee
Well, I have a 9 year old DD and the 1st time she was REALLY bullied was in kindergarten. It was terrible. It was so bad that the teacher called me and SHE(the teacher) was crying. I cried for weeks(literally) about this. It brings something out in you that you never knew existed. I honestly felt like I could hurt a kid for the 1st time in my life. I wanted to knock the $hit out of this little boy and his parents. They were called into a meeting about what he was doing to my little girl. We NEVER got an apology from the kid or the parents. When I see them up at school, i could spit on them
The kicker is, my DD has a stong, outgoing personality. She is the kid that you never thought would be messed with. She is now in 3rd grade and I can tell you, that experience, has changed her. Not for the better. I will never forget that littlw ba$tard til the day I die!
OK, I am done now Sorry!
I could cry just from reading this! DH and I were both active in sports. I also in dance. I was too busy to get caught up in the "clicks". I had a lot of friends from different towns and I was always doing something. I was never bored and was never given the opportunity to get into trouble. I also come from a large family, so I was always around my cousins. In Jr High and HS, I was friends with everyone. I was on kickline and also on Varsity soccer. I mostly hung out with the jocks and cheerleaders...but I was also friends with the burnouts, drama kids, goth kids..you name it. I plan to enroll my kids in sports and dance. I plan to keep them busy and keep them involved with lots of activities. DS is in Karate and he is doing great. I pray that neither of them are bullied and I am almost positive that DD wont since she is a firecracker. DS I worry more about since he tends to be a little sensitive.
Message edited 4/6/2010 12:27:08 PM.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 12:16 PM |
| |
|
KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Nope, not alone, I think about it often. DD is and always has been very social,outgoing sweet, friendly (makes friends so easily), fun, funny,happy child, she is def a leader not a follower. And I often think and wonder if this is going to last.
I really hope she stays like this, bc I was a very shy kid with a low self esteem (even though as I got older, my teenage years , I turned into one of those popular kids somehow) and I would hate for DD to be that way.
Message edited 4/6/2010 12:47:28 PM.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 12:38 PM |
| |
|
lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
I think about it every single day!
I was the shy girl with the low self esteem.
It was actually in HS when I got my first job that I started to "Open Up" and become a bit more outgoing.
I want my kids to have great self esteem with the "I CAN do it attitude"!
I don't want them to be shy and I don't want them to be partiers either.
I want them "in the middle".
I do worry about DD. I want to raise her letting her know she can do anything if she puts her mind to it!
If she wants to Dance, fine, we'll sign up. If both kids want to play soccer, fine, we'll sign up...They are definitley going to be in some sort of activity to keep them active and help them make friends/be outgoing.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 12:41 PM |
| |
|
KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Posted by ChrisDee
Well, I have a 9 year old DD and the 1st time she was REALLY bullied was in kindergarten. It was terrible. It was so bad that the teacher called me and SHE(the teacher) was crying. I cried for weeks(literally) about this. It brings something out in you that you never knew existed. I honestly felt like I could hurt a kid for the 1st time in my life. I wanted to knock the $hit out of this little boy and his parents. They were called into a meeting about what he was doing to my little girl. We NEVER got an apology from the kid or the parents. When I see them up at school, i could spit on them
The kicker is, my DD has a stong, outgoing personality. She is the kid that you never thought would be messed with. She is now in 3rd grade and I can tell you, that experience, has changed her. Not for the better. I will never forget that littlw ba$tard til the day I die!
OK, I am done now Sorry!
OMG I got chills reading this, I am so sorry you and your DD went trough this.
I worry soooo much about things like this, I always have this fear of someone bullying DD hurting her feelings, hurting her physically or verbally ,even though just like your DD , my DD has such an outgoing, strong personality , but she is also very sweet (I mean she really is) and I am afraid that someone will take advantage of her bc of it .
It makes me sad and scares me that I won't be with her to protect her I know I sound crazy, but , I can't help it 
Message edited 4/6/2010 12:49:09 PM.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 12:45 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Posted by Goldi0218
What's weird is that I was thinking about this before I even had her. I grew up as the fat kid. I was taunted as long as I could remember. I cried a lot, but also walked away too. DH and I are big people (despite my weight loss surgery, the GENES are still there) and our families ain't tiny either. We used to talk about our eating habits and what we will have to do when she starts eating table food in order to spare her from what I went through.
never went. DAMMIT FOILED AGAIN!)
I could have written this myself...
It is one of my biggest fears for DD...I try very hard to let her find her own way to make friends...when I see a child even just ignore her, because she's gentle...I want to scream...but I try to just encourage her to play and join in...
Like you said, I don't need her to be homecoming queen, or the Mega Track Star...just a nice girl with many friends, who is HAPPY...Lord knows I was NOT when I was in high school!!
|
| Posted 4/6/10 1:19 PM |
| |
|
mrsej
The cutest!
Member since 1/07 2495 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Not irrational at all!!!! I think about this alot - my secretary thinks i am crazy and she said she never thought about it at all when her kids are growing up (her dd is 16 and ds is 13 and have lots of friends and never had issues). However, her niece, who I have met a number of times, is 14 and has major social issues - she is constantly picked on and has no friends. her mother does everything with her and is like her only friend. So sad. I was not popular, nor picked on growing up - had great friends and great time growing up, however, I find myself worrying about dd and ds (they are only 6 weeks and 2 years, respectively!). My sister had a horrible time growing up - teased alot and had a rough time b/c this one girl in hs made her life a living hell. My sister is a grade school teacher and b/c of her rough time makes it a point to make sure noone gets bullied in her classroom and deals with bullies immediately. I hope my kids have someone like her as a teacher!
|
| Posted 4/6/10 1:21 PM |
| |
|
oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
I think about those things all the time. I worry "what if" he's left out or "what if" he's the bully or so many other "what ifs", I just can't handle it. 
I wish I could see into the future sometimes and know he was gonna be - well - perfect.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 1:24 PM |
| |
|
CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
I never thought about that stuff before until my sister said to me "What are you going to do if he gets picked on and comes home crying? " And OMG my heart broke. I'm also terrified and always think, what if he becomes a "bad kid" or doesn't love me someday....
|
| Posted 4/6/10 1:30 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
I will be honest - it seems clear to me that Cailen will have no problem fitting in - kids flock to him.
What concerns me is how I already see him "pick and choose" who he will interact with - and already is a little cliquey with some of his friends.
That concerns me more than anything....
|
| Posted 4/6/10 1:36 PM |
| |
|
Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Posted by Sweets13
I think about the stuff you mentioned ALL THE TIME!!!
I was laughing when you mentioned goth/skater. I have thought of that too!
DH and I just saw two kids the other day, all in black, huge disgusting jewelry on, I told DH that I would die if those were my boys.
I pray that they will not be bullied in school. My nephews encountered a bully the other day at the park. The three of them were riding their bikes and these older kids MADE them touch their urine that they just peed onto a wall  My cousin and her husband were walking the track so they went over when they saw them talking to the older kids. My cousins husband went nuts on them and wanted to tell their parents what they did, but didn't.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 2:04 PM |
| |
|
brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
Posted by ChrisDee
Well, I have a 9 year old DD and the 1st time she was REALLY bullied was in kindergarten. It was terrible. It was so bad that the teacher called me and SHE(the teacher) was crying. I cried for weeks(literally) about this. It brings something out in you that you never knew existed. I honestly felt like I could hurt a kid for the 1st time in my life. I wanted to knock the $hit out of this little boy and his parents. They were called into a meeting about what he was doing to my little girl. We NEVER got an apology from the kid or the parents. When I see them up at school, i could spit on them
The kicker is, my DD has a stong, outgoing personality. She is the kid that you never thought would be messed with. She is now in 3rd grade and I can tell you, that experience, has changed her. Not for the better. I will never forget that littlw ba$tard til the day I die!
OK, I am done now Sorry!
That sucks...I want to kick his *** too
If that happens to my DD I know I'll feel the same way. I know DH would be pizzed too...but he has better control and wouldn't say anything...I think I'd flip out on him and his parents
|
| Posted 4/6/10 2:13 PM |
| |
|
Nifheim
allo
Member since 1/09 5476 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Irrational thoughts?
if anything i hope any child we would have be creative and unique. I hope they flock to the people and/or clubs that either help people, create beauty or just in general make a difference. It wouldn't bother me if they were labeled a nerd or a freak because nerds and freaks grow up to be amazing fascinating adults. Just as long as he/she is happy, well adjusted and better yet not a bully then I am cool with that.
My greatest fear is for any child of ours to grows up narcissistic to me that is far uglier then anything imaginable.
|
| Posted 4/6/10 2:27 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 |
