Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

Its hard for me bc Im such an introvert, I HATE talking to people I don't know. HATE IT.

However, while I have never made mom friends with kids in preschool or even from the classroom, once my son started playing sports competitively I made quite a few friend with the team moms. We are together for at least 2 hours a day, 3 days a week or so.

Especially, with football, moreso than any other sports. I LOVE that I let him play football....for me.....thats sport is like a FAMILY....super tight knit teams. It was cliquey when the season started bc I didn't let my son start football until he was 7 so a few of them have been together for a few years already but once we warmed up to one another its been great.


like, I said, once the sports get competitive moreso bc their are tryouts and the coaches draft the teams so its the same teams now year over year.


With that said, that more happened by default.....I wasn't looking to make new friends, in fact, I didn't want new mom friends at all. So, I don't really reach out to other moms outside of sports bc Im just not looking for new friends. Its just hard to not be friends with people you are sitting with, with nothing else to do for 2 hours a day.

Message edited 6/17/2016 11:36:44 PM.

Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

I've recently made a huge effort to make friends. I'm in my town's MOMS club and I started a "moms group" with my coworkers who have kids similarly aged. We went out last night for drinks/apps and it was amazing!

We've lived here for 9 years and I have very few-no friends because I am so shy. I've really been putting myself out there recently and it's been great.

Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

I think it is hard for me because I work. I think I connect with moms at parties/sports, etc, but I dont have a lot of availability. I think I would try harder if I didn't work.

I did see on Facebook that a group of moms from school went out for drinks and do play dates. That really doesn't happen if you work and are not at school to get acquainted!

I don't like to talk on the phone and sometimes can take a long time to text. There are certain days I can't text at work and too much going on when I get home to always remember! My long response time would not indicate that I was blowing someone off!

Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

I have to be honest, I keep other moms at arms length. I grew up locally and already have a big circle of friends. Sometimes I find it hard enough to maintain the friendships I already have between work, kids, sports, and family commitments. I am very friendly with a bunch of school moms, I volunteer as class mom every year and am becoming more active in the PTA. I'm even more friendly with the moms from sports. And my kids have plenty of play dates. But I do all of that for my kids, not to make more friends. I don't talk or see these moms socially.
I don't mean any of it rudely, I'm just busy. And when I have free time, I would rather spend it with my friends. If I really really clicked with someone, then of course I would get closer with them.
I'm just trying to give you another perspective.

Message edited 6/18/2016 12:05:01 PM.

Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

Thanks everyone for the responses. It was interesting to read all the different perspectives. I have just been having a few off days lately, my 2 closest friends moved out of state and the friends I grew up with vanished after I came across some hard times. Sometimes I just crave some girl talk. Anyway this wasn't meant to be a pity party at all! I will keep this girl at arms length because I definitely got the hint!

Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

Like someone posted earlier, I just lucked out and found a few I clicked with. I took dd1 to the library all the time when she was an infant in part for the chance to socialize myself. Over the first year some of us that had similar aged kids seemed to get along and started to get together outside the library. The kids are now 4 and we still try to get together whenever we can although some have less time than others with work and such. I don't know what I would have done otherwise. With my younger dd I feel older than many of the parents I meet at her library classes and just haven't gotten to know anyone as well. I'm also much busier now so I don't get to take her as regularly which is how I got so friendly with my original group. At preschool it's hard bc drop off is so quick, how much can you really get to know someone in a few minutes a week?

Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

I made a lot of mommy friends on FB. We get together at least once a month for a mommies night out. There are about 3 I hang with consistently and text almost daily the rest once in a while. We've had a natural working mom / sahm divide because of schedules. But I have found that many moms are kind of flakey. I KNOW we're all busy but some people just always flake. It's not personal, it's probably them people are busy or just more introverted.

Message edited 6/20/2016 1:28:04 PM.

Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

Making mommy friends is really hard! I'm pretty outgoing, but I think I sometimes come on too strong when I'm nervous and don't know someone. I had a really great mommy group when DD was a newborn, but when everyone started going back to work we all kind of lost touch. I have a few friends from work that have kids around the same age and we sometimes get together and there are 2 moms I'm friendly with from DD's daycare and we text and get together pretty often, but other than that I don't have a group of "close" friends.

I'm hoping that will change when we make the move to LI, but as a full time working parent I'm scared it's going to be even more difficult to make mommy friends.

I don't think it's you though! People are very busy and very self-involved and it probably has nothing to do with not wanting to be your friend!

Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

I hate talking on the phone and will avoid calling people and answering my phone at all costs. But I am texting constantly so I do respond to people right away.

As for this person, are her kids the same age as yours? Does she have more children than you? I find that moms of 3+ kids usually take a lot longer to respond. Also, if her kids are older than yours or even if she has one older than yours she may just already be in a routine with her other mommy friends. I used to find the moms of older children to be so distant almost to the point of being rude. But now I see that I can be perceived the same way with the moms of my youngest daughter's friends. I try not to and it's been nice because they include me in so much stuff, but I feel like I am being torn in 100 different directions throughout the day with all the sports and after school activities.

Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

It always has been hard for me.. even before my child was born. I always found most women to be catty, jealous and super weird with me after awhile.

I do not need people like that in my life. I have my few close friends and that is all I need. Every time I made a mom friend, they get weird.. no return texts, just weird behavior. I have no time for it..
I guess you could say I am a leader and have no problem standing alone.

Message edited 6/21/2016 9:39:09 PM.

Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

I don't even know how people have time for so many friends lol. I have a small handful of friends, and I still feel like I don't have enough time for all of them. All of them I have been friends with prior to having kids, but luckily a few now have kids of their own.

I think the other issue when making friends based on your kids is that you very well may have nothing in common. The fact that you both have a kid the same age is only going to carry you so far in a conversation.

Eta: The only people I actually speak on the phone to are my parents, in laws, and dh. Everyone else is texting only. With a 2 year old my ability to talk on the phone is limited, and even before dd I never did well with small talk.

Message edited 6/21/2016 10:03:38 PM.

Re: Is making mom friends hard for anyone else?

Super hard to make mom friends. I've tried a bit, gotten no where, and I'm done. I'm very friendly at pick up/drop off for things my DD does but it pretty much ends there.

I also live in the town I grew up in and have a couple of friends here and I barely see them. I'll be honest that sometimes I get really upset because I would like a close group of parent friends for myself and the kids, but it hasn't happened. I'm busy with the kids and work and either it will happen later on or the kids will eventually make their own friends.