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Is this response too rude? UPDATED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
I am moving closer to my due date and, once again, people are asking why I need a C-section. Some of these are the people that I have already explained this to, some are not. I am not sure if I should answer the question differently or with more patience if it comes from someone who has not asked before. I am not sure if I am even capable of being patient with this question anymore.
I've been telling people, truthfully but briefly that there are a few reasons and it mostly has to do with the surgery I had a few years ago and that I've known for a long time that I would need a C-section. If they ask more questions, I tell them that I am quoting my doctor, who at one point said, "It is what it is." I won't go into any more detail than that, so I allow about a 2-3 minute discussion. Frankly, I have forgotten some of what I read when looking into my medical problems but I agree that the C-section is absolutely necessary. I do not think it is healthy for me to dwell on what could have been if I did not have these conditions.
I think I am answering my own question just by writing this out. I have to be most concerned about myself right now and if that means that someone is offended so be it.
Do I owe anyone more of an explanation or less rudeness?
Message edited 8/30/2007 1:51:15 PM.
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Posted 8/29/07 10:12 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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DanaRenee
Fitness Junkie!
Member since 6/06 6470 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Is this response too rude?
I don't think you need to give any explanation at all...the conversation should end with you saying a c section was recommended by your Dr. mainly due to a prior sugery you had.
I couldn't imagine asking you any more questions with out feeling like I was crossing the line asking for more info 
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| Posted 8/29/07 10:27 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Is this response too rude?
I don't think it is rude at all.
It never ceases to amaze me what people think is their business. I think you are probably nicer than I would be. I would probably say that my doctor is insisting on it, explained everything to me and I agree with his/her decision and that I'm really not comfortable getting into the details.
Hang in there, soon you will have a beautiful baby. 
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| Posted 8/29/07 10:33 PM |
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Re: Is this response too rude?
Some of the people asking are my very good friends so I wonder if I am supposed to be more open with them. I have already told them, though. I can't help it if they forgot.
ETA: I am not looking to hide information. I just find the discussions to be stressful and I sometimes feel like I am being asked to defend every C-section that was ever performed.
Message edited 8/29/2007 10:54:06 PM.
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| Posted 8/29/07 10:52 PM |
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USAFmrs
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/06 796 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Is this response too rude?
bottom line-- its safer for you and the baby... thats all people need to know :)
( i too had a section and everyone asked why-- that was my answer and it shut them up on a dime)
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| Posted 8/29/07 10:52 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Is this response too rude?
I may buy this for you Kerie:
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| Posted 8/29/07 11:05 PM |
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Re: Is this response too rude?
maybe you can just say... "it's really a personal matter. i'll just say that it's medically necessary, and i'd like if we could leave it at that"
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| Posted 8/29/07 11:36 PM |
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mamaA
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/06 812 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: Is this response too rude?
You totally don't owe anyone ANY explanations, I would just say "medical reasons" and leave it at that. If they persist, tell them it's necessary, I wouldn't have have major abdominal suregery, with a long recovery and more risks if it weren't! I'd also say it in a bi+chy tone to be honest!
I had to have a c, and I new before hand also- my son was near 10 punds, and one week late, he was still not sitting low enough in my pelvis to be induced, and even if he was, why would anyone think I could deliver a baby, already close to 10 pounds, and growing, nowhere near close to labor???
People suc%
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| Posted 8/30/07 12:24 AM |
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Re: Is this response too rude?
I would simply say "it's medically necessary" and leave it at that. I can't tell you how many times I have to tell the same people over and over and they still sound shocked  You don't owe them any explanation, don't worry.
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:37 AM |
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cjik
Welcome 2010!
Member since 2/06 8879 total posts
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Re: Is this response too rude?
Not in my mind. I think it's enough to say your doctor feels it's medically necessary. If people press, you might mention your surgery or that you researched this yourself and you agree.
People can be so interfering sometimes! I know a lot of people feel c-sections are given far more than necessary, but in your case, it is necessary!
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:43 AM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Is this response too rude?
Posted by ssdbk
Do I owe anyone more of an explanation or less rudeness?
Kerie you don't owe anyone as much info as you are giving them, and you certainly don't have to be polite when people are asking rude personal questions, the answers to which are frankly none of their business.
Now tell me again, why are you having a c-section?? 
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:45 AM |
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Re: Is this response too rude?
Are you upset with the fact that you can't deliver naturally and everytime someone brings it up you get upset annoyed and frustrarted?
You're dr is 100% correct.....it is what it is. Right now you are carrying the love of your life and when it comes time for the baby to be born all that matters is that the baby is healthy.
People make me laugh sometimes. It's totallt your business. I don't know why people concern themselves so much.
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:45 AM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Is this response too rude?
no you do not...all you have to say is, "it is for medically personal reasons." And if they don't leave it at that, then they are the ones being rude, and you can call them on it.
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:46 AM |
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njbound07
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/07 799 total posts
Name:
pimpette
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Re: Is this response too rude?
I would not say anything at all. you don't owe anyone an explanation. The next time someone asks you your birthing choice.. tell them you'll when you're in labor..
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| Posted 8/30/07 9:59 AM |
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Smiles111
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Member since 12/06 1905 total posts
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Re: Is this response too rude?
I agree that you shouldn't have to explain this to people.
If it's close friends, I would tell them that it's a stressful topic for you and you need to minimize stress for the good of you and your baby. If they're really a good friend, they'll respect that!
And then quickly change the subject by asking them a personal question.  J/K (kind of)
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:05 AM |
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Chica
Cuteness!
Member since 10/06 3013 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Is this response too rude?
Not at all. "My dr. recommended it" is more than adequate.
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:16 AM |
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Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
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Re: Is this response too rude?
Posted by DanaRenee
I don't think you need to give any explanation at all...the conversation should end with you saying a c section was recommended by your Dr. mainly due to a prior sugery you had.
I couldn't imagine asking you any more questions with out feeling like I was crossing the line asking for more info
I totaly agree with you
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| Posted 8/30/07 10:27 AM |
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Re: Is this response too rude? UPDATEED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
Posted by Cakes
Are you upset with the fact that you can't deliver naturally and every time someone brings it up you get upset annoyed and frustrated?
Good question.
I am not upset about that b/c I came to terms with it before I ever got pregnant. I am frustrated that I accepted it a while ago but people around me are going back to the questions that I answered for myself a few years ago.
WHAT REALLY UPSETS ME---- There are risks if I go into labor and have contractions. My uterus is weakened from my prior surgery. One of the risks, though rare, is uterine rupture. The complications that could go along with that are terrible and that is not even the only risk that I have. When people ask so much about why I need a C-section, it is very easy for my mind to wander into the "what if I go into labor and the contractions come on strong really fast?" The reality is that I could get to the hospital and have an emergency C-section and baby and I will be safe. The scenario in my mind is that something dangerous can happen.
I don't think I need to dwell on "what if I go into labor" but it is what comes to mind when I have to explain the need for a C-section.
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| Posted 8/30/07 1:49 PM |
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ana6178
Praying for a miracle!
Member since 5/05 1536 total posts
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Re: Is this response too rude? UPDATED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
Posted by ssdbk
Posted by Cakes
Are you upset with the fact that you can't deliver naturally and every time someone brings it up you get upset annoyed and frustrated?
Good question.
I am not upset about that b/c I came to terms with it before I ever got pregnant. I am frustrated that I accepted it a while ago but people around me are going back to the questions that I answered for myself a few years ago.
WHAT REALLY UPSETS ME---- There are risks if I go into labor and have contractions. My uterus is weakened from my prior surgery. One of the risks, though rare, is uterine rupture. The complications that could go along with that are terrible and that is not even the only risk that I have. When people ask so much about why I need a C-section, it is very easy for my mind to wander into the "what if I go into labor and the contractions come on strong really fast?" The reality is that I could get to the hospital and have an emergency C-section and baby and I will be safe. The scenario in my mind is that something dangerous can happen.
I don't think I need to dwell on "what if I go into labor" but it is what comes to mind when I have to explain the need for a C-section.
I had the same thing happen to me. I had uterine fibroids removed and major surgery was required to remove them due to their location. People hounded me about WHY I had to have a c-section. After a while I just told people I was having a c-section due to a major complication and left it alone.
Sometimes people just suck.
Sorry.
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| Posted 8/30/07 1:55 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Is this response too rude? UPDATED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
Posted by DanaRenee
I don't think you need to give any explanation at all...the conversation should end with you saying a c section was recommended by your Dr. mainly due to a prior sugery you had.
I couldn't imagine asking you any more questions with out feeling like I was crossing the line asking for more info
I agree. I don't understand why, especially in this-day-in-age, people are pressing you.
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| Posted 8/30/07 2:02 PM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Is this response too rude? UPDATED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
Posted by babybug631
Posted by DanaRenee
I don't think you need to give any explanation at all...the conversation should end with you saying a c section was recommended by your Dr. mainly due to a prior sugery you had.
I couldn't imagine asking you any more questions with out feeling like I was crossing the line asking for more info
I agree. I don't understand why, especially in this-day-in-age, people are pressing you.
ITA!!! I will be having a scheduled C- Section and I understand completely how you feel when people are being silly.
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| Posted 8/30/07 2:03 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this response too rude? UPDATED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
I have been lurking here and I have to say just not with this post but others. Why is it people feel the need to question your (the parents) decisions?? Did I miss the memo where it is anyones business? I have learned this from this board, when I officially get PG I will not share my birth method with people, the names I choose and othe fact that I might BF. Seems to be big over here. Good Luck to you in YOUR choice.
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| Posted 8/30/07 2:10 PM |
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Re: Is this response too rude? UPDATED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
You do not owe anyone any explanation regarding ANYTHING in your life.
If anyone has the nerve to be so rude as to question why you need a c-section, I would respond with, "It's between me and my doctor. Thank you for respecting my privacy"
People are so rude
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| Posted 8/30/07 2:58 PM |
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Re: Is this response too rude? UPDATED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
To be honest, even if the conversation goes only as far as the person asking once why I need it, or looking puzzled if I mention the C-section, I am just so sick of the question that I get annoyed!
The only reason I bring it up now is to tell people the date.
Message edited 8/30/2007 3:36:04 PM.
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| Posted 8/30/07 3:35 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Is this response too rude? UPDATED BELOW WITH SOME info about why the question scares me.........
Kerie, whenever possible, just tell them the due date and leave it at that. I wouldn't even mention that I am having a planned c-section unless it is something you have already told them.
Here's another for you 
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| Posted 8/30/07 3:39 PM |
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