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MrsS518
Big Sister to be!
Member since 7/07 3423 total posts
Name:
Tara
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I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
So DH and I don't want to find out the sex of the baby from the doctor. My grandmother is here visiting from FL and I made a special appt for her to come to a sono. Well she tells me today"I'm not going unless I'm finding out the sex!" Umm excuse me!? Who the hell are you?? THEN my mom jumps in and go" why are you sooo difficult!? Just let us find out!!" Its my baby my choice!! They had been on my back since I got pregnant! I'm sick of it. I'm crying as I write this cause they were so nasty to me. I made this special appt for my grandma to see her great grandchild and that's what she says to me! Then my mom and grandma are going on and on about how I'm not going to get what I want and no one will buy me anything cause I don't know the sex. Umm that's what a regisitry is for!! Why are they being such b*tches! Sorry for the nasty word but I can't believe how they are acting. How would you deal and feel about this? Please be honest. I need to know what to say/ how to handle this. I'm a mess right now
P.S DH and I will be going tomorrow to the sono and my mother in law that I don't like much will be coming because SHE respects our choice. She's the only one! Weird how things work out.
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Posted 3/27/09 1:48 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Posted by MrsS518
So DH and I don't want to find out the sex of the baby from the doctor. My grandmother is here visiting from FL and I made a special appt for her to come to a sono. Well she tells me today"I'm not going unless I'm finding out the sex!" Umm excuse me!? Who the hell are you?? THEN my mom jumps in and go" why are you sooo difficult!? Just let us find out!!" Its my baby my choice!! They had been on my back since I got pregnant! I'm sick of it. I'm crying as I write this cause they were so nasty to me. I made this special appt for my grandma to see her great grandchild and that's what she says to me! Then my mom and grandma are going on and on about how I'm not going to get what I want and no one will buy me anything cause I don't know the sex. Umm that's what a regisitry is for!! Why are they being such b*tches! Sorry for the nasty word but I can't believe how they are acting. How would you deal and feel about this? Please be honest. I need to know what to say/ how to handle this. I'm a mess right now
P.S DH and I will be going tomorrow to the sono and my mother in law that I don't like much will be coming because SHE respects our choice. She's the only one! Weird how things work out.
I honestly do not know why they're making you feel this way..I think its awful 
It isn't THEIR baby!! I think its great you are waiting to find out, it's so special (and this is coming from someone who found out both times at 18 weeks, lol). I can understand them MAYBE teasing you a bit like "ohhhh pretty please find out!!" but then dropping it when you say you aren't...but to make you feel that way is really not right at all!
I'm sorry. And honestly....that is pure BS that no one will buy anything b/c you don't know the sex. What, no one is capable of buying gender neutral stuff or the things you register for??? It's a poor excuse for THEIR wishes.
I hope things turn around and they get better about this for your sake!!
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| Posted 3/27/09 1:52 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I am so sorry you are going through this Tara Do not let anyone pressure you into finding out! Tell your Grandma that this is your baby & both James & you have made the decision to wait. If they don't like that, then don't come to the "special" appointment. By no means WILL YOU FIND OUT when you are there.....
In regards to getting things at your shower, do not listen to them! You will be showered no matter what & people will buy things per your registry
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| Posted 3/27/09 1:52 PM |
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Mere09
So Dam* Lucky
Member since 10/08 6368 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
It's really terrible that they're making you feel so bad about a decision that you and your DH have made. This is yours and your DH's child... there is absolutely no way that it is right for them to feel that they should know the sex before you. (not that that's the way they're looking at it--but that's basically what it boils down to)
I'm not good for advice in these types of situations cause I'm the type of person that would just be like, "Fine, screw you. Don't come to the appt then." But please please, don't feel like you are wrong for not giving in to what they want. They are absolutely 100% wrong. I'm sorry they're putting you through this.
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| Posted 3/27/09 1:54 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Posted by MrsS518
P.S DH and I will be going tomorrow to the sono and my mother in law that I don't like much will be coming because SHE respects our choice.
Crashing for a minute..hope you don't mind.
I quoted the above because if you haven't, than I think this is what you should tell them both.
Not about the MIL, but about respecting your wishes. And YOU'RE not the one being difficult THEY ARE! And I would be sure to tell them both just that. Along with, thanks for ruining the special appointment I made just for grandma.
I'm really sorry they are upsetting you.
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| Posted 3/27/09 1:55 PM |
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Angel321
...
Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Tara - that is ABSOLUTELY horrifying and i cannot express to you how much LOVE is coming your way from this computer!!!!! 
i honestly would tell them that you made the appointment especially for them and that they are hurting you for making a VERY PERSONAL decision. If you cannot speak to them about this without losing it - have DH do it. They need to realize how hurt they are making you...
for STUBBORN me - i'd cut them out of future information, etc....to show them how much they hurt me and how much i can hurt them right back (but again - this is ME and i take things like this to heart MAJORLY)...
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| Posted 3/27/09 1:55 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I wouldn't invite them to another thing.
they have no right to do that to you. it's selfish and mean.
this is partially why I have gone to every appt ALONE. I don't want to deal with anyone's ish. I don't want them asking questions.
I'm sorry. I think being pregnant is EXCEEDINGLY personal. sure, we can share certain things, but in the end, only 2 people made this child. only 2 people get to say whats what.
don't let them get to you. tell them to stuff it. seriously.
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| Posted 3/27/09 1:56 PM |
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shaye3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/07 696 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
that is ridiculus..I can't believe they are being so selfish about it. Hang in there..this is your and DH's choice and nobody elses!!
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:03 PM |
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JennyPenny
?
Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Posted by Ophelia
I wouldn't invite them to another thing.
they have no right to do that to you. it's selfish and mean.
I'm sorry. I think being pregnant is EXCEEDINGLY personal. sure, we can share certain things, but in the end, only 2 people made this child. only 2 people get to say whats what.
don't let them get to you. tell them to stuff it. seriously.
ITA with this.
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:03 PM |
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BnBdreamin
Gonna be a BIG Bro in April!
Member since 10/06 5913 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Posted by JennyPenny
Posted by Ophelia
I wouldn't invite them to another thing.
they have no right to do that to you. it's selfish and mean.
I'm sorry. I think being pregnant is EXCEEDINGLY personal. sure, we can share certain things, but in the end, only 2 people made this child. only 2 people get to say whats what.
don't let them get to you. tell them to stuff it. seriously.
ITA with this.
Second the motion. It's terrible that your own mother and grandmother have the big fat ballz to do that to you and not respect you as a grown adult about to be a mother yourself. I'm sorry you're going through that.
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:17 PM |
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Wendy
Wheeee!
Member since 5/05 13736 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Seriously, tell them to go blow!!
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:19 PM |
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emomma17
All My Girls!
Member since 11/08 4392 total posts
Name:
Mia
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I am so sorry they are making you feel this way, sometimes people just say too much but unfortunately this time it's your family. Did you tell them that this is your decision with DH and that they should respect your wishes? Also I would tell them that they hurt your feelings with the things they said to you.
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:19 PM |
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MrsPowers
So blessed!
Member since 11/06 10348 total posts
Name:
Ivelysse
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I can't believe that your family is acting this way! I am so sorry this is happening. I really don't understand why people can't respect your wishes.
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:43 PM |
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TwinMamaNov09
LIF Zygote
Member since 3/09 40 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
That's terrible to make you feel this way, especially at the happiest time of your life. I definitely think its time to stop inviting them to things and let them know that your MIL can respect you, so should they!
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:43 PM |
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Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!
Member since 8/06 10356 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Oh man.. you Mother and Grandmother would HATE me. I found out the sex and wouldnt tell anyone!!!
Many and tell them to go shove it
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:45 PM |
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bellaluna
Baby come on out!
Member since 11/08 1934 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
 How rude is that???
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:45 PM |
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MrsS518
Big Sister to be!
Member since 7/07 3423 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I've explained to them this is our choice take it or leave it! They told me "I don't want to talk to you" as I was speaking to them. They aren't coming to the appointment tomorrow and I will NOT be sharing anything more with them!! I can't believe they are acting like children and my grandmother AND mother are doing this to me! This is the 1st grandchild. Be happy. Its not like they will never know the sex of the baby. I don't know what more to say to them to make them understand. I've said my mother in law respects our choice why can't you? And my mothers respones.... I'm not your mother in law and I don't understand why I can't just know!! One reason..my mother has a big mouth!! I'm soooo upset and I want this to be over with. This has me sick to my stomach.
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:45 PM |
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Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!
Member since 8/06 10356 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Are they saying it in a joking way and just giving you a hard time or are they serious?!!?
My MIL and SIL were FLIPPING that we knew the sex and wouldnt tell her. I actually secretly loved that I was p*ssing them off, but I would have been upset if it was my own mother giving me sh*t. I dont get where people think they have the balls to decide stuff for you!!!!!
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:50 PM |
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1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Sorry they are being so crappy, Tara! Just to pizz them off, I would tell them when you get home tomorrow, that you decided to find out, but since they didn't bother to come, you won't bother to tell them 
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:55 PM |
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CaMacho
Sisters :)
Member since 7/06 15112 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I don't get how they are thinking... they are going to miss an awesome opportunity to see a sono of their future grandchild/great grandchild just b/c they can't find out the sex? I'm SO sorry they are being like that!
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| Posted 3/27/09 2:55 PM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
Posted by Ophelia
they have no right to do that to you. it's selfish and mean.
I'm sorry. I think being pregnant is EXCEEDINGLY personal. sure, we can share certain things, but in the end, only 2 people made this child. only 2 people get to say whats what.
don't let them get to you. tell them to stuff it. seriously.
I agree with this too. They are very wrong. Hopefully this will teach them a lesson that this is YOUR child, and YOU make the decisions.
They can have an opinion, but they don't have a say.
On a side note: Most of the stuff I'll be registering for will be gender neutral, since we plan on having more than one child. There's a lot to choose from for baby gear. We hope to find out what we're having, but the only thing that really impacts is clothing, and I'm not registering for outfits for my kid.
Message edited 3/27/2009 3:05:48 PM.
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| Posted 3/27/09 3:04 PM |
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JsWife
His laugh, Her smile
Member since 12/06 2902 total posts
Name:
Patricia
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I would be p o'ed to say the least!!
I would her them "then I guess you are not going."
***!
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| Posted 3/27/09 3:13 PM |
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carlowlou
loving my babies!
Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I'm so sorry they are doing this to you.
I got crap from my mother for finding out! so you can't win.
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| Posted 3/27/09 3:18 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
OMGOsh I am so sorry they are doing this to you!
I'd be sooo hurt!
I'm glad your MIL is going with you and I'd let your mom and your grandmother know she is and why she is!
This is your baby, your decision! No one elses!
You are 100% right! Its EXACTLY what registries are for!! Uuugghh I had people comment on that too with my 1st pregnancy!
Im so upset and angry for you!
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| Posted 3/27/09 3:22 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I've had it!! How would you feel/deal with this??
I am going through the same thing with my family. We found out with DS but think we want to keep this one a surprise.
My recommendation...stand your ground. It is your baby and your life. They will get over it and if they don't too bad.
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| Posted 3/27/09 3:31 PM |
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